Turning Dust into Gold
by bethaboo
Summary: After college, best friends Bella, Rosalie and Alice have a run-in with their past. . .and maybe their future? All human, AU. Rated M. Nominated at the Twilight Awards, All-Human AU Incomplete, for Best Romance & Best Edward Characterization
1. Chapter 1

**Author Note:** I do not own these characters, unfortunately. They belong to Stephenie Meyer.

**Music:** If anyone is interested in music selections that I feel work well with this chapter, give me a PM. If there's enough interest, I'll start doing a list for every chapter.

As always, please R & R!! I'm a new author here, though I have done a significant amount of original work. Encouragement is always nice! Constructive criticism too :)

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BPOV

I knew from the crashing and wailing inside the apartment that the worst had come to pass.

My suspicions, and Alice's too, had been aroused for several days now and we'd had several hushed conversations, preparing for the inevitable. And like clockwork, it had happened, just as we'd predicted.

I turned the key in the door to the apartment and let the door swing slowly and silently open. The scene that greeted my eyes was hardly unexpected, yet I still felt dismay creeping into my heart.

Alice was perched primly on the side of the couch, like a tiny dark exotic bird, her black hair sticking up in all directions. It was rare to see Alice not perfectly groomed, but I had a feeling that her dishevelment had more to do with Rosalie than some new groundbreaking style. Whenever she was truly and completely frustrated, she tended to run a hand through her hair, almost without thinking. Considering that Alice almost always thought about every facet of her appearance, this was indeed a cause for worry.

Alice was trying, in vain, to calm Rosalie down. The remnants of what must have been a cell phone were scattered all over the floor. That must have been the big crash I'd heard right before coming in. I bent down and picked up a bent antenna off the hardwood floor and pretended to examine it minutely, all the while watching Rosalie pace.

If I hadn't known Rose so well, I would have been intimidated and more than a little scared of her. There was no one else I knew who looked as if they could be both a supermodel and an Amazon. She was tall and gorgeous and undeniably fierce. And the latter was definitely more evident today.

"He was such a douche, Alice, I can't even begin to tell you," Rosalie stormed.

"You've said that, dear." Alice usually remained peacefully neutral, our own personal Switzerland, during these sort of incidents, but I suspected that even Alice was losing her patience this time, especially when I heard her murmur under her breath, "more than once."

Rosalie let out another ear-piercing shriek of anger and kicked a chair. She whirled around, blond hair flying, and that's when she spotted me. I tried to give her a friendly smile, but I think it turned out looking mildly grotesque instead, like I was dreading what was coming. Which I was, of course.

"God, Bella, I can't believe him." Rosalie was practically growling and if I hadn't had so much practice calming her down, it would have been pretty damn intimidating. But Alice and I were old hands at this by now.

"What'd he do?" I asked almost casually, though I already knew the answer. It was always the same story and I'd been around the flavor of the month enough times to be familiar with his long list of shortcomings. Alice sent me a suffering look, and I knew she'd already been subjected to the story numerous times. But it helped Rose to talk it out in order to work through her anger, and we had to get her calmed down before she broke something bigger and more expensive or our neighbors called the cops. Already the chair was looking like it had lost a fight with Rosalie's patent leather stiletto boots.

"He just. . ." Rosalie sputtered in speechless anger, "He said that I wasn't _allowed_. . ."

Uh oh. I'd thought he was a few fries short of a happy meal, but this really took the cake. How could any man really think that telling _Rosalie _what to do was a good idea? She exuded confidence and independence, in a far more confrontational and aggressive style than most women.

Rosalie continued with her ranting, as it appeared she'd calmed down just enough to be able to verbally malign the unfortunate male properly.

"He was such an asshole. The biggest asshole ever. I can't believe he thought that I was really interested in him, as if someone who had macaroni and cheese for brains and spaghetti for arms could really interest me." She growled again, either at his stupidity or hers, I wasn't sure.

I sighed and stayed quiet. I wanted her to keep going. Alice had her head cocked slightly to the side, as if Rose was saying the most interesting thing she'd heard yet. Only the two of us knew that she'd probably silently retreated to a part of her mind that even Rosalie couldn't penetrate with sound.

"Apparently I'm a snotty bitch who only thinks of herself and can't really _care _for anyone. Like he was any different," she snarled, "he only wanted to get into my pants, as if that would somehow give him the right to control me. Good thing it's over. I was sick of telling him that his dick was bigger than a roll of quarters. He needed to get his eyes checked, that's for damn sure."

Rosalie was pacing again, her heels clicking frantically on the hardwood floor. Her hands were balled into fists and the expression on her beautiful face probably could have turned the male population into stone.

"Rosalie," Alice interrupted her. "He said you weren't able to care for anyone?"

"Well him specifically, like he was something special or even _worth _caring for," she snickered snidely. I could see that we'd reached the sarcastic put-down section of the evening. If only these incidentsweren't so horribly predictable. If only Rosalie could somehow pick a guy who didn't have muscles for brains and a lump of charcoal for a heart. If only she could learn some form of anger management. I sighed again because the last was the most impossible of all. Rose's temper was legendary, which somehow, unbelievably, only added her to charm and goddess-like beauty.

Alice spoke up again, apparently not entirely satisfied with Rose's answer to her question. "Rosalie Hale, sit down." Her voice was firmer than normal, and had a tone that communicated to Rose that she'd better obey or else. In the six years I'd known Alice, I'd never heard her use such a tone. It wasn't as in-your-face as Rosalie's generally was, but the threat was there regardless. And, wonder of all wonders, Rose sat down. Abruptly. On a chair that probably didn't have much legs left in it. A loud squawk emerged from the offended cushion, and the tense atmosphere immediately dissolved into laughter.

At least both Alice and I thought that we were all laughing, but then a sound came from Rosalie that I'd never heard before. Out of curiosity, and trying to mask it as concern, I walked to the chair, put a comforting hand on her shoulder, and only out of sheer willpower could stifle the gasp that tried to escape out of my throat.

Rosalie was. . . was. . ._crying_?

Rosalie never cried. This was indeed an evening for firsts.

And apparently Alice had suspected it would happen because in a flash, she was also next to the chair, putting an arm around Rosalie's shoulders and murmuring comforting words in her ear. Alice looked a great deal less flabbergasted than I did, and I supposed that was appropriate. While I had known Rosalie for nearly six years, Alice and Rose had grown up together. I was the newcomer, and it was never more apparent than in moments like these.

I was socially awkward anyway--at least that was what I always called it. Alice was normally quick to reprimand me, and insist that I was instead introspective and shy. Not socially inept. But I knew the truth and no amount of ambiguous wording could change that. Becoming friends with Alice and Rosalie in college had mended and refashioned a lot of my social skills, to where I could function pretty normally, but when faced with a completely new situation, I tended to freeze.

I'd first met Alice and Rosalie in college, and at that point, I still froze nearly all the time. Their lives had seemed so exotically different than mine. They were outgoing and exuberant, stylish and beautiful. They made friends easily and everyone wanted to be close to them. I could never quite figure out _why _they drew me to them, but within a few weeks, we were inseperable. And slowly, I'd begun to pick up some of their polish, though Alice would probably always bitch about my clothing choices.

Rosalie was a year older than Alice and I, and she had been even more intimidating at first. Supermodel beautiful with a temper to match, I hadn't thought there was anything I could contribute to our friendship. Alice had vehemently disagreed when I told her this, arguing that I was just beginning to learn my own value. In the six years since meeting them, I couldn't disagree with her words. I'd grown into my own with them by my side. I didn't look like I'd just stepped off a runway, but I was polished and, in my opinion, passably pretty. I'd lost my awkwardness in social situations, and our circle of friends had widened. After graduation, I'd tried sales (what else can you do with a literature degree?), and discovered a knack for parting people with their money. Alice remarked often that I was growing into my charm and that soon I'd eclipse them both.

Truth is, I owed both of them more than I could ever repay and to help Rosalie right now, I'd be willing to do just about anything.

Rosalie had scooted over on the chair to give Alice enough room to fit. Not that Alice was a big burden--she was as pixie-ish as Rosalie was statuesque and I was boringly normal. Tears were streaming down Rose's face now, and her crying was just about as loud as her yelling.

Alice looked at me pointedly and said, "could you get Rose a box of tissues, I think she's going to need it."

No kidding. I'd never seen the perfect Rosalie look so disheveled, emotional and well. . .red and blotchy. It would have been almost satisfying except for intensely sad sobs she was making.

On my way to the bathroom, I detoured into the kitchen. Whenever I was feeling particularly blue, there was one thing I depended on. I knew we had some in the fridge and I had a feeling that Rose would appreciate my thoughtfulness. She had a real appetite for junk food in general, but I'd never seen her stoop this low. But then, I'd also never seen her upset enough to actuallycry.

When I returned to the living room, neither Alice nor Rosalie had moved, but the big hiccupping sobs that seemed to steal Rose's breath away had finally subsided. Alice was nearly crooning in her ear, in an attempt to calm her gasping hysteria. Looking at them, I realized that this reaction of Rosalie's could have nothing to do with the idiocy of the latest man she had dated. She had never been emotionally involved with him, at least not enough to warrant this kind of reaction.

I handed Alice the box of tissues, and she immediately pulled one out. Holding it to Rosalie's nose, Alice asked her, "Rose, why don't you tell us what's bothering you?"

There was a loud blow followed by several sniffles. Rose meekly looked at us through tear-stained eyes and mumbled, "I don't know."

Alice had been in charge up until this point, I'd merely been an observer, but having quite a bit of experience under my belt at things _not _going right, I knew how to both calm Rose down and uncover the truth about her crying jag.

I ran my fingers down the side of the object I'd taken from the fridge, considering for only a second before I extended it toward Rosalie. Her face immediately lit up, and the intensity of her beauty nearly blinded me for a second. Red, watery eyes and blotchy complexion paled in comparison to the force of her smile.

"Chocolate frosting!" Her smile grew in wattage, and I couldn't help but smile back. Alice squealed and took off running in the direction of the kitchen to grab spoons, but Rose was too fast. She already had the lid of the container off, dipping her finger inside and sucking off the gooey goodness, moaning in delight.

"Bella, this is exactly why I love you so much: you know exactly how to tame the beast inside," Rosalie giggled.

Alice returned with the spoons, only to abandon them on the coffee table in favor of using her finger. She groaned in pleasure as the frosting hit her tongue. "This is almost better than sex," Alice said as she licked every bit off her finger.

I laughed at Alice's natural naivety and Rose added, "you must not have had great sex yet, Alice. Only someone who's never had mind-blowing sex would say that chocolate frosting was almost better."

Rosalie's expression darkened almost imperceptibly as she spoke and I watched her put the carton of frosting on the coffee table. I knew we were about to learn the reason for her blue mood.

Rosalie took a deep breath. "I wasn't honest with you earlier. Thanks to Bella and the chocolate, you're now going to learn the truth."

The expression in her aquamarine eyes was bleak as she met Alice's sympathetic gaze. "I saw Emmett today, Alice."

I didn't know who Emmett was, but judging from Rosalie's reaction and Alice's suddenly tear-filled eyes, I figured this was about a traumatic an experience as was possible. But the weird thing is that I didn't remember ever hearing a word about an Emmett. How could they have not spoken of someone who was clearly so important in the six years we had known each other? We three girls were, I had thought, inseparable. Again, I felt the twinge of loneliness. There were obviously some secrets that I was not meant to know, that obviously nobody was meant to know.

"And Jasper?" Alice's voice was small and almost shaky with an effort to keep the tears glimmering in her eyes from falling onto her cheeks.

Rosalie nodded gravely. "I. . .I. . .I wasn't that upset until that stupid asshole told me that I couldn't care about anyone. . .and Alice, all I could think about was Emmett. . .and. . ." her voice broke and she looked at the ground, not even seeing her Laboutin patent leather boots.


	2. Chapter 2

Yay! Chapter two up! Thanks to everyone who's read this so far, I promise that this is just the beginning! And again, PLEASE R & R!!

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BPOV

"Jasper. And Emmett. Well that's a surprise," Alice said. Except that her tone of voice hardly implied she was surprised. In fact, she seemed hardly surprised at all. Emotional, yes, but not astonished to hear Rosalie's news.

I thought back to Alice's almost expectant attitude toward Rose earlier, and immediately I knew what had happened.

"Alice," I replied accusingly, "you're not surprised at all. You knew."

"I had a feeling," she said modestly. "You know how I am about my 'feelings.'"

"And you had to have one on this," Rosalie grumbled back. "I didn't want anybody to see me fall apart like that. It's private."

"Sweetie," Alice cajoled, "your feelings about Emmett have never been private. Why do you think you've dated all those dimwits for years? It's so obvious. And besides, Bel and I aren't just anybody, we're your best friends."

I'd always wondered why Rosalie had such terrible taste in men, but understanding how sensitive Rose was about any of her shortcomings, I'd never brought it up. I curled up on the opposite chair to watch the interaction between my two best friends, who were about to reveal more of themselves to me than I'd ever seen.

Rosalie made a face at Alice, but her tone was kind as she replied, "I know, and I should have told you earlier, or better, I suppose. Especially since Jasper. . ."

"Enough about Jasper," Alice interrupted. "Tell us about Emmett and how you saw him."

I could tell that Alice was lying and that she was dying to hear about Jasper, whoever Jasper was, but she knew that with Rosalie one had to strike while the iron was hot. Rose had sudden, almost quixotic, changes in mood, and she could very well decide not to tell us anything—a perfectly normal state of affairs that would be totally unacceptable to either Alice or me today. I'd never seen Alice so eager to hear anything in the six years I'd known her. She was literally bouncing up and down on the couch. And I couldn't deny that my curiosity was definitely aroused. There was something special about this Emmett and Jasper, and I was dying to know what it was.

To my surprise, Rosalie turned to me, and there was a genuine note of remorse in her voice. "I know you don't understand why I didn't tell you about someone as important as Emmett, and I'm sorry Bel. Really I am. But you have to know that _nobody _knows about Emmett really anymore. . .I doubt that anybody even remembers, except for me and Alice, of course . . ." I'd never heard Rose sound so bleak and defenseless.

"And Emmett." Alice added, gravely, to Rosalie, while I noticed that the corner of her lips turned up just slightly, for my benefit. She was baiting Rose, and the only one who didn't know it was Rose herself.

"Fine. I'll tell you," Rosalie ground out, clearly getting frustrated.

"You know that Alice and I are from this little town in Northern Washington. Forks. It was intolerably dull there, and I'm sure it still is. I wouldn't go back even if it meant a full set of LV luggage. At least that's the way it was every year except my senior year . . .and that's when this new family showed up. The Cullen family."

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_Seven years earlier_

RPOV

I hate Forks. I spend most every day thinking of all the myriad ways I hate Forks, and all the amazing, awesome, exotic things I'm going to do when I can finally leave Forks behind. High school on its own is usually bad enough. But I was cursed to have to go to high school in the dumpiest, most backwoods environment that could have been invented.

Mr. Roberts' history class is easily the worst I have to sit through. Roberts tends to drone on and on, in a monotone voice, which wouldn't be so bad, except that he does it in an overloud voice. Of course this discourages my typical daydreaming, thus making it my least favorite part of the day.

I'm standing at the end of the hallway heading to the history classrooms and the internal debate in my head is growing louder by the second. I could so easily not go. Roberts is usually reduced to a stammering, brightly blushing idiot with just an acknowledgement of his existence. A few smiles and any absence of mine would be a non-issue. I could go to the library and pour over the latest issue of Vogue. I could even text Alice and have her ditch with me. We needed to make decisions about what to buy when we left this hellhole and visited Seattle next.

Decision made, I turned on my heel abruptly and crashed into a huge wall.

Except it wasn't a wall. . .it was a man. Or a boy. I couldn't tell at first, I was temporarily stunned by how _large _"it" was.

I was one of the tallest people in the whole school, and I had to crane my neck just to see his face. And what a face it was.

He was gorgeous. Tall but not gangly. Muscled but not too beefy. Perfect, I thought dazedly. A genuine specimen of man candy right in Forks. It was almost too good to be true. I could be hallucinating. . .except even my dreams didn't get this good.

"I. . .uh. . .I'm. . .excuse me," I mumbled, internally humiliated that I could make every male in Forks dissolve into mindless adoration with my charm, but when faced with someone I cared about impressing, I could only babble helplessly.

Neither of us had budged. He stood there, smile frozen in place, and if I knew any better, I'd have guessed he was as immobilized as I was. I was still way too close to him, but I couldn't bring myself to step away. He oozed sex appeal and warmth and I wanted to wrap my arms around his lean muscled form and never let go.

Who knows how long either of us could have stood there. My mind was churning and I was determined to come up with something clever and witty to say before I stepped away from him and let him see the full force of my beauty. Then I'd walk away and make him come begging after me. He probably wasn't the begging type, but all I knew is that my body and my brain had never failed me before, and now was not the time for them to start.

But before I could even get a word out of my mouth, a familiar and endlessly cheerful voice echoed down the hallway.

"Rosalie! What on earth are you doing not in class?"

I heard the voice before she could even come into view, but I heard her gasp of surprise when she saw me. Managing to regain motor function I stepped sideways around The Mountain, and I saw Alice, jaw dropped to the dirty linoleum floor, standing directly in front of us.

It was then that The Mountain decided to speak. "Hi," he said, in a deep, gravelly voice, tinged with almost as much sunshine as Alice's, "I'm Emmett."

I took a deep breath in order to gather what little wits I had left, hoped he had selective memory loss, and extended my hand toward him. "Rosalie. Rose for short." I beamed my strongest smile at him and to my delight, it hit him full on like a two by four. His hand was warm and hard, and it almost completely encased mine. And best of all, he didn't let it go.

"And this is my cousin, Alice," I added when she sent me a half-hearted glare.

Emmett gave a slight nod in her direction but his dark cobalt eyes never left mine, and his hand still held mine, tightly. My heart wouldn't stop racing and if he didn't release my hand soon, Alice was going to have to clean me up off the floor. Never in my life had I felt more a woman, which probably would have surprised quite a few of my admirers around Forks. What they didn't know was that their abject and on-their-knees approach made me feel more like a witch than a woman. Emmett's presence made me remember that I wasn't meant to be admired from afar.

"Rosalie," Alice hissed. Like he couldn't hear her too. He was closer to her than I was. "Aren't you going to class?"

Class. Class. Oh, that's right. That's what I was doing in this hallway. Class. The longer Emmett held onto my hand and his eyes held mine, the more my brain melted.

And almost if he could read my thoughts, that was when he released my hand. I was immediately caught up in all the things I was going to do to Alice after this, all for her untimely interruption.

"I shouldn't detain you," Emmett said, still looking at me with what had to be wonder in his eyes.

"I. . .uh. . .I . . .you're not." Great, Rosalie, impress him with your verbal skills.

"Is your class this way?" Emmett pointed the way down the hall, toward Mr. Roberts' classroom.

I started to nod, only to catch Alice's astonished stare. She knew I'd been about to ditch class. She knew how intolerable I thought Mr. Roberts was. All thanks to her very informative "feelings," as she liked to call them.

"Well then. It was nice to meet you, Alice." Emmett spoke with authority, as he turned to head down the hall, expecting, I suppose, that I would follow.

I wouldn't call myself a good follower. In fact, I like to think of myself as the epitome of a leader: fearless, fierce and fashionable. The 3 F's had never failed me before, but I still found myself on the cusp of doing exactly what Emmett expected of me.

I stopped just in time. Of course I couldn't do what he expected. I was Rosalie Hale.

Giving him one of my patented, charming smiles with just the right amount of attitude, I instead shook my head regretfully.

"Nope, class is the other way. Catch you around, Emmett." And with just the right swing of my hips, I was already heading down the hall after Alice and the new Vogue, leaving him looking both amused and a little bit shell-shocked.

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BPOV

"Phew. That's. . .incredible," I enthused to Rosalie, who seemed to regard my enthusiasm with her trademark cynical amusement. It was funny though, that this cynicism had seemed to slip a little during her retelling of their first meeting. In fact, it was downright suspicious.

So Emmett was clearly the one member of the male sex who had been able to throw Rosalie. I imagined how downright delectable he must be to have captured Rosalie that way. She was the most immune woman to male beauty that I'd ever seen. She appreciated it, of course, but in a very clinical, almost objective way that seemed to wring out every ounce of emotional sex appeal. And obviously the reason for her behavior were her lingering feelings for Emmett.

And it was clear that they still existed. After her reaction to him this evening, you could hardly even term them lingering. But of course, Rosalie had done everything in her power to assure us that running into Emmett was just surprising and that's what had caused her reaction. Not any kind of leftover emotional attachment. And I'd believe that just as soon as I'd believe that vampires walked the earth.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your amazing reviews! I'd intended on taking a few more days to write this chapter, but after everyone's demands to "update immediately," I found myself writing anyway. Also, I was going to split it in half, and take a little more time to write the next chapter, but this is really one linear scene, in many respects, so I've decided to inflict all 4700 words on you at once. Not that any of you are complaining.  
**

**As I posted on , this story is really about delayed gratification. So for everyone's questions about what happened and what will happen, it's a waiting game. Though with the speed I'm writing this, it'll probably be sooner rather than later.**

**I've also included some links in my profile to the outfit Rosalie wore on the first day. Just so you all can get a good visual.**

**Thanks to my excellent beta, Tamelaine!**

**And as always. . .these characters do not belong to me, they are the property of Stephenie Meyer and please R & R!!**

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RPOV

As soon as I came home that first day, I planned my wardrobe like I was a general going on a campaign. I rued the cold rainy weather of Washington, which made it impossible to wear skirts. Alice often ventured the opinion that it was the weather alone that saved the Forks emergency room from having to resuscitate any number of men who had the image of my legs burned into their brains.

But that was just like the male sex, mindlessly adoring without once even attempting to see what was underneath the sex kitten smile and mane of golden hair.

So skirts were obviously out. After hours of going through my extensive closet and an Alice consultation, I finally decided on a pair of form fitting black skinny jeans, and a beautiful deep purple silk tunic. The color made my skin and hair glow and I swore to myself that Emmett wouldn't know what hit him.

The next day, I practically floated into school, barely even hearing the excited gossip about the new Cullen brothers. There was no point in listening anyway. I only cared about Emmett, and no matter how much the other girls gossiped about him, there was no way they could possibly win him. He was mine, just as if I'd stamped "property of Rosalie" on his shapely and swoon-inducing butt. And I was sure as hell not going to share.

By lunch, a thread of worry was working its way through my head. I knew how incredible I looked. The boys of Forks High School hadn't taken their eyes off me since I'd waltzed in the door that morning. Yet, Emmett hadn't once glanced my direction, and I'd given him enough opportunities that his lack of interest was galling.

Mike Newton tried to approach me in the cafeteria, and I took great pride in shutting him down as loudly and clearly as possible. Not that it mattered much; Newton was infatuated with me and no amount of put downs seemed to change that. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Emmett was watching us, and when Mike stalked away, temporarily disenchanted with my bitchy yet gorgeous self, I thought I saw him chuckle, but he turned away before I could be sure.

I promptly went into the bathroom and swore for about a minute straight.

The next day, I risked hypothermia and wore the cutest dress I owned. Every male in the school helplessly gawked except for the only one I cared about gawking. Emmett remained resolutely immune to my presence. I was so close to throttling him that Alice had to talk me down, reminding me that kicking his ass probably wouldn't make him like me anymore. I added petulantly that it didn't appear that he liked me at all to begin with. She only shook her head and laughed at me, somewhat patronizingly. My annoyance grew.

By day three, I felt like I was in agony. Every conquest I'd ever made seemed to pale in comparison to the one man I couldn't impress. By this point I was intently listening to every scrap of gossip about the Cullen brothers, and while most of it seemed to be of the awestruck variety, one or two of the more perceptive girls had noticed Emmett's abstaining vote in the Rosalie Hale fan club. They had immediately jumped to the conclusion that he must be a member of the pink fairy princess club instead.

Despite how good a balm this would be to my wounded pride, there was no way I could really believe Emmett was gay. The interest during our first meeting had lit up his beautiful eyes and the man practically dripped testosterone. I'd even heard that he was a lacrosse player. No, there was no way he could possibly be gay. The only conclusion I could really come to was that blond hair, blue eyes and a body that could make Gisele Bundchen weep just wasn't his type of thing.

By the end of the third day, I was definitely still angry, but a little more resigned. I'd dressed down today, part of me no longer caring, and as I walked to my car after school, I thought that maybe I could wear him down over time. Maybe the glamazon I'd been the last two days just hadn't appealed to him. I could try another tactic. I could figure out exactly what made him tick and then fill that niche for him.

Having a plan made me feel a little better. Tomorrow I could start gathering intel. At least, I tried thinking optimistically, I'd learned one way that you couldn't storm Emmett Cullen's defenses.

I always parked in the back of the parking lot, to protect the one possession I cared about more than even my favorite Jimmy Choo heels.

My beautiful bright blue VW R32 glistened, even with a lack of sunshine hitting it. I gasped. Marring the elegantly sexy lines was Emmett Cullen, leaning against my baby, probably scratching the paint.

How dare he? How had he even known which one was mine? Not that it mattered. He was going to get dismissed immediately, I thought, hot body or no. You didn't get ignore me for three days running then decide to touch my car.

I stomped up, and any anger that had dissipated over the last few days was back, and had increased exponentially.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I crossed my arms over my chest, and gave him a glare that had sent many weaker men running for cover.

My outright annoyance didn't even seem to register. Emmett uncoiled himself gradually, and more gracefully than I could have imagined, from the door of my car, and for the first time since that first day, gave me a long leisurely look from head to toe.

Raising one gold eyebrow questioningly, I boldly looked back. It was my first really good look at him, with enough time to really examine his features without having to worry about being caught in the act red-handed.

God, he was handsome. Dark hair, with just a bit of a crisp wave to it, that looked like he had just rolled out of bed. The most amazing blue eyes that seemed to reach right into my soul and grab it. His features were a bit rough looking, but considering the rest of his large muscled form, anything more chiseled would have looked out of place.

He sent a dazzling smile in my direction and I realized that his grin could easily rival mine for sheer magnetism.

I felt my insides melting just a little bit again, and inwardly, I cursed. It was not fair that someone whose attractions were so manifold was so obviously uninterested in me.

"You should be nicer to Newton, you know." His voice chided, and my resentment grew.

"Why?" I replied belligerently.

He was by my side so fast that he was nearly on top of me before I realized he'd even moved. "Because," he said, helplessly pinning me down with his eyes, "it's just not fair to dazzle us all then not play nice." His voice was low and I almost shivered.

I supposed it was par for the course that I couldn't find my voice when he was that close. Even worse, he seemed to know it.

Laughing, Emmett moved back toward the car. "Give me a ride."

I really wanted to say no. I didn't take too well to ultimatums. I also really wanted to say yes. Why was nothing concerning him easy? Maybe if it was easier, I could actually force words out of my mouth.

"Edward and Jasper have already left," he pointed out, gesturing to a late model silver Volvo pulling out of the lot, "so unless you want to strand me?"

I knew then I was beaten. But only temporarily, I reminded myself. He had won one battle. He hadn't won the war.

As gracefully as I could, I nodded and fished the keys out of my purse.

He climbed in, looking huge in the small interior of the car.

"Comfortable?" I asked as innocently as I could.

"Very." Emmett paused, like he was considering adding to this, then he kept going, "I've been admiring this car since we moved here. I wondered who would be smart enough to buy an R32. When Newton told me it was yours, I realized that I should have known."

I considered this a compliment of the highest order. And it gave me a little insight into the brain working behind those gorgeous blue eyes.

"You like cars, then?"

"I'd say so."

"Then why was Edward driving?"

He laughed, the sound filling the car and spilling out the open windows. For Forks, it was almost a nice day, nearly sixty degrees and not one drop of precipitation in sight.

"You know, you have the sharpest, most adorable claws. I loved watching you try to get my attention the last couple of days."

I felt my heart race at his words, in excitement or anger, I wasn't quite sure. "You didn't answer my question."

"Oh, we like to keep a low profile. Unlike some people." Emmett slanted a very pointed look over in my direction, and I couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of me.

"At least I don't drive a _Volvo_."

"Touché. Edward's young and his taste isn't quite developed yet. It'll improve. But I think you'd be impressed with mine"

"Cocky, aren't we?" He didn't reply, only smiled at me so broadly that my insides were in serious danger of turning to mush.

I decided to change tactics. "So where do you live?" I tried to ask as casually as possible. He knew he'd thrown me for a loop but he didn't have to know that he continued to do it every time he opened his mouth or even looked at me.

He gave me directions to a large white house just outside of the town. We traveled in silence and he seemed to really enjoy the growl of the engine. Maybe almost as much as I did.

The Volvo was parked on the circular driveway that curved in front of the house. Instead of directing me to park beside it, Emmett instead told me to drive around to the back.

There was a large warehouse-like building behind the house, to the side of the yard. I stopped in front of it, and Emmett gave me a look I couldn't quite decipher. It was as if he were trying to decide exactly what kind of creature I was. If I could be trusted.

"You want to see?" Apparently, I'd passed whatever test he'd decided to give me.

"Of course," I told him, not even bothering to try to hide my curiosity and eagerness. He already must know how I felt, and it would be foolish to try to pretend I wasn't dying to see what was inside.

We got out of the car, and when I started to take my purse out, Emmett shook his head.

"You're not going to want to take that inside. As it is, you're probably overdressed."

"Overdressed?" I could only gape at him. I was wearing black track pants, and a plain white t shirt.

"All that white," he gestured at my shirt. "You're going to get dirty and I can't imagine that you'd be too happy about that."

Emmett paused for a moment, clearly deciding to do something, then without any warning for my poor heart, he peeled off his navy t shirt, leaving only the white wife beater behind.

I couldn't help it. I gawked. His arms were corded with muscle, and the old wife beater was nearly sheer, leaving me with no doubt that he had at least a six pack. I knew my jaw had dropped, I could sense he was laughing at me, but I couldn't seem to stop staring.

"Here," he said. "Take this." He held out the shirt to me, and his look was a dare. I put it on as quickly as possible and shook out my hair. I was only mildly gratified to see that he looked about as shell-shocked in that moment as I'd looked earlier. Apparently he _did _ have a thing for blond hair.

I could feel the warmth of his body still in the fabric, and it smelled amazing. I didn't care if the shirt was huge on me and completely hid my figure. I never wanted to take it off.

"Don't you have something to put that in?" He gestured to my hair. "It's distracting."

"My hair is distracting?" I said coyly. Two, I thought with relish, can play this game.

"Yes." I thought I heard him mumble, "you have no idea."

Pulling a hair band out of my purse, I pulled my hair into a quick ponytail and gave him a smile. "All ready. Is there a mud pit inside, or something?"

"Oh no. I just don't want to mess you. . .you look. . .well. . .you know how you look." For the first time since our meeting Emmett seemed at a loss for words. A little bit of the anger I'd held inside of me began to dissipate.

"Okay, well then what are we waiting for?" I said impatiently.

Emmett opened the door to the shop and I followed him in. It was dark, and I heard him searching for the light switch, but before he could find it, I knew what this was. I'd known the second he'd opened the door. It had a distinctive smell. Oil, grease, and steel.

Then the light flickered on and I couldn't hold back my gasp.

Despite how big the building looked from the outside, I still couldn't believe how big it was from the inside. There were husks of several different cars, all expensive, scattered throughout the garage. While dirty, like Emmett had warned me, and a bit disorganized, it was clearly the workspace of a master mechanic. I'd always loved cars and working on them to improve their performance, but this was clearly a space for someone for whom cars were a passion.

I turned to look at Emmett, who was nearly bouncing up and down in anticipation of my reaction. He managed to look so much like Alice, possibly my favorite person in the whole world, and yet so much like himself, I wanted to hold him close and never let him go.

"It's amazing," I managed. "You have so many tools, resources. . ." I trailed off, trying not to let my envy show.

"Yeah, we do. We're very lucky, really. I knew you'd probably be one of the few people in this godforsaken town that could truly appreciate it, as soon as I found out that the R32 belonged to you."

"We're?"

"My brothers and I. Edward and Jasper. You haven't met them, have you?" Emmett's face grew slightly distrustful and I knew what he was worried about. Was I just interested in conquering every male in Forks, or was I interested in only him?

That was the easiest question on earth. Of course, four days ago, I would have said that I was definitely interested in reducing every male in Forks to a blathering, adoring slave. But after meeting Emmett, I could honestly say that this goal had been abandoned in favor of impressing his handsome self.

If his brothers looked anything like him he would have been very right to worry three days ago. Naturally, I'd been so intent on getting his attention I didn't even remember seeing the other two Cullen brothers. But by this point the die had been cast. Emmett Cullen seemed to be the specific key to my lock, so to speak, and it wouldn't even matter if Edward or Jasper were better looking. Though I seriously doubted that was possible, as I gazed almost helplessly at his gorgeously muscled back.

I realized then that he was talking to me, trying to get me to follow him to one of the torn apart cars. Shaking my head to clear it of all the things I'd like to do to him in the future, I picked my way through the debris on the floor as I followed him. Emmett had been right: it was dirty, but I hardly cared at that point. He could have asked me to wade through some nasty, infested swamp and I probably would have followed.

Emmett stopped in front of the car and turned to me, obviously waiting for me to be impressed. It took me a good second, but when I realized what it was, I couldn't hold back the squeal of delight, no matter how childish it sounded.

"Oh my god! It's a Supra." I circled the car, all debris on the floor forgotten.

"Yep. I'm going to do unholy things with this baby," Emmett told me in a gleefully conspiratorial voice.

"I hated it when that stupid Fast and Furious movie came out and everyone jumped on the Supra bandwagon without realizing what it was that made this car so amazing," I said, almost without thinking. It had been so long since I was able to indulge my love of fast cars with someone else. And to have that person be Emmett; I felt positively drunk on the possibilities.

Two hours later, I was covered in grime from head to toe and it would have been incredibly obvious if I hadn't borrowed Emmett's shirt and my pants weren't black already. I'm sure my face was sweaty, and I didn't even want to contemplate the state of my hair, but for the first time since I'd looked in the mirror and realized the ramifications of my beauty, I didn't care.

Emmett didn't seem to care either. He had a carefree enthusiasm that made you want to jump into his latest project and enjoy it just as much he was. And when the project involved an incredible 1997 Toyota Supra, it was impossible for me _not _to be completely sucked in.

In fact, it had become rapidly obvious that he didn't care that I'd sweated off the makeup I'd put on that morning, or that my hair was likely a frizzy mess. We talked like equals, he actually listened and biggest surprise of all, he considered my opinion as if it came from one of his brothers or a friend. I'd never been treated so nonchalantly, and I loved it.

Watching him work a particularly stubborn bolt, his muscles flexing under the wife beater, I knew that while I admired how damn pretty he was, I liked his personality even better. And truthfully, that scared the living crap out of me. I'd never been emotionally involved this deep before, and we had barely met. I'd spent two hours in Emmett's presence and every cell in my body felt imprinted by him.

He caught me staring at him and I blushed. Smiling slyly at me, he said, "so have you figured out why I avoided you?"

Add to his list of manifold attractions that he was painfully honest.

"Well, no. . ." I stammered. I could hardly say that I'd thought he was either immune to my charms or gay. Number one option was obviously not true. Number two option was so dreadful by this point that if I found out he was, I didn't know what I'd do.

Emmett set down his wrench and walked way too close to me. I was sure he could hear my heart beating its way out of my chest. I tilted my head up toward his anyway and rejoiced in the pitter-patter lightheadedness he conjured in me. Even covered in dirt and sweat, I'd never felt more beautiful than in that moment, with his eyes gazing so intently into mine.

"You were so gorgeous, like a fantasy come to life," his voice was even lower than normal, and so quiet I could barely hear it over my heartbeat. "I was afraid that if I let you catch me too quickly, you'd lose interest, like you've probably done with a million different guys. I wanted you to try and fail. I wanted to be different for you."

I gaped and felt my knees turn to jello.

"You thought that I would lose interest? Have you ever looked in a mirror?"

"Of course," he dismissed, turning away and making me want to grab him and drag him back to my side. "But I thought we might have something other than being two very pretty people and I wanted to see if I was right. If I'd slobbered after you in those incredible tight black pants like I wanted to, you'd know I had no interest in what was underneath that gorgeous head of hair."

"Normal guys don't talk this way." I decided that if he was being brutally honest, I could at least meet him halfway.

"Nope. But then they don't have a mother like Esme Cullen." The expression on his face made me melt a little more inside. A guy who truly loved his mother, and looked better than David Beckham? Was the rest of the female sex too blind to snap up this incredible prize of a man?

Emmett must have read my thoughts on my face, and he laughed. It was a big hearty laugh, full of personality and joy. "Rose, Rose, Rose. You have to know how picky I am."

He was picky? What did that mean? Was it possible that I didn't meet whatever requirements he had in mind? All my vaunted prickly independence fell by the wayside. I would do whatever it took to be whatever he wanted, I vowed.

"Oh?" I didn't know what else to say. That I would gladly sign my life away to just spend more time with him?

"Silly Rosalie." He walked over again and my heart started pounding again. I should really have that checked out.

"Now that you mention it though, there is one thing I'll need." Emmett wiped his dirty hands on what could only have been a dirtier rag. He put the wrench away and I knew that our time was drawing to an end. Except that I was like an addict. I wanted more.

I simply raised my eyebrow in question and waited for him to continue. He put the rest of the tools away, made sure I'd made it to the door, and then switched the light off.

I took a deep breath of the fresh mountainous Forks air and tried to clear my fuzzy mind. I walked over to my car, knowing it was high time I went, yet still trying to prolong my stay as long as possible.

After closing the door, he came over to stand by the car with me. And just as suddenly as before, he was way too close. His eyes were serious, unreadable pools of dark blue and I just waited. I wanted him to kiss me more than I'd ever wanted anything before. I was practically panting with the need to feel his lips on mine. It would be, I decided, my first real kiss. More than any of those others that had been so completely and utterly meaningless. But he had to take the first step. I steadfastly forced myself not to use a single trick in my possession. This had to be all him and not any of my witchiness, remembering what he'd said about me and all my slaves around Forks.

Achingly slowly, he raised his large hand to my forehead and slowly pushed back a strand of hair that had fallen out of my ponytail. His skin was remarkably soft, despite the obvious strength of his hands, and I nearly trembled. Finally, his hand came to rest on my cheek and he cupped it gently, letting his fingers stroke my skin slightly. The shivering butterflies in my stomach grew stronger and my eyes slowly drifted closed.

"Rosalie," he murmured.

"Yes?" I answered with anticipation, halfway expecting to feel his lips on mine any moment now.

His voice drifted closer to my ear. "You have my shirt." I could practically feel his lips on my ear, and I nearly purred. That is, until it dawned on me what he'd said.

"That's what you want?" I choked out as I jumped back, away from him and the mesmerizing blinding spell that he always seemed to cast on me.

He only smiled and looked like the cat who had just stolen the cream.

I gave a strangled shriek and tore the shirt off me, not even caring if I got any of the dirty grease stains on my face or hair. I threw it at him and seriously considered throwing a hissy fit too. He was . . .beyond impossible. I'd been so obvious, even if I'd tried not to. I couldn't help myself around him, it seemed.

Emmett laughed again. "Of course. What else would I want from you?"

Personally, I could think of a few things, and I had barely touched the surface. But most of them weren't nice enough to mention in polite company, especially when you were infuriated with the other participant in your fantasies.

I wished I had something else to throw at him, but I'd run out of ammunition. So instead, I fired a parting shot across the bow. "As if I would want to give you anything else, " I remarked scornfully, opening my door, and starting to get into the car.

But before I could, he pulled me into his arms rather roughly, and kissed me.

He wasn't exactly gentle, but the electricity that shot through my veins more than made up for it. It was short and not exactly sweet, but I had to admit his parting shot was better than mine.

"You so sure about that?" He taunted me cockily, and if I hadn't been so woozy, I would have considered slapping him.

There was really nothing more I can say. In fact, I didn't trust myself not to beg him to do it again and take more time while he was at it.

So I got into the car, and beamed at him through the open window. I don't think I could have stopped smiling even for a Prada bag.

"Drive safe," he said, and I was gratified to note that neither his voice or his hands were exactly steady.

"Of course," I replied, noting that he had said nothing about driving slowly. He knew me better than that.

As I drove back to town, I was already feeling the pang of separation and I berated myself for falling so easily for the man. I had no reason to trust him, or his motives, or his way too sexy smile. But for the first time in my life, I couldn't bring myself to care about any of those things.

I pulled into the driveway of the house, and I hadn't even made it out of the car before the door banged open.

"Rosalie Hale, where the hell have you been?" I'd have known Alice's voice anywhere, and sure enough, her small dark form came bouncing out of the front door before I could gather my wits together enough to fool her.

She stopped dead in her tracks with her tiny hands on her slim hips. "Oh, Rose. Rose. You are the craziest, most insane woman. _Emmet Cullen?" _And I could still only grin like the nutcase she accused me of being.

Suddenly, her face softened and she pulled me in for a big hug, her head only coming up to my chin. "I'm so happy for you, " she said, "now when are you going to tell me the whole story?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Author Note:**

Thanks again for all your great reviews! I have to slightly apologize for this chapter, there is some info dump in here, though I have tried my best to work it into the story. There was no way around it, but I did try to make it as interesting as possible.

Obviously, we are still getting all the background information, but after a few more chapters, all that should be mostly out of the way, and we can get cracking on the main plot line, which I must confess, has yet to be revealed. I'm a wordy writer, what can I say?

I've fixed the links in my profile, please check them again, and be sure to look at the picture of Rosalie's R32. This is an amazing car, people. My words can only describe it so well. For the full impact, you need to see a visual.

Thanks again to my wonderful beta Tamelaine, who bravely tells me again and again that I shouldn't start a sentence with "and" or "but" no matter how much I'd like to.

As always, these characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, and please read and review. Your reviews keep me writing!

* * *

APOV

I remembered that day as if it were yesterday.

Rosalie hadn't come home after school and I'd been really surprised.

Neither of us liked Forks or high school, but it seemed to be harder for Rosalie than for me. Being so beautiful seemed to force a wedge between Rose and the community. Everyone admired her, some of the men in the town nearly worshipped her, but despite her outgoing nature, nobody ever seemed to get close to Rosalie. Nobody except for me. I was her cousin and her confidante, but most of all I was her best friend. I was a year younger, but that never mattered. Ever since the tragedy of Rose's parents, we'd been inseparable.

I'd known that her initial encounter with Emmett Cullen had thrown her for a loop, and I didn't blame her one bit. The man was gorgeous and his brothers weren't half bad either. Especially the middle one--Jasper. He had the kind of golden blond, slightly bookish looks that I liked. Not that I had ever spoken to him. The Cullen family, it appeared, thought a lot of themselves, and with the exception of the slightly more outgoing Emmett, didn't intend to interact with much of Forks.

Not that I blamed them. I remembered all to clearly when we'd first moved to Forks, and Rosalie and I had been completely dismayed by our lack of options. We'd grown used to it over the last five years, but I could see why the Cullens pushed everyone away. They were probably still trying to preserve their sanity.

I'd known that Rose must have been with Emmett, but her face when she came home still shocked me.

In all the years I'd known Rosalie, I'd never seen her look like that. Her skin, which was gorgeous anyway, glowed with an inner light. Her eyes sparkled and she couldn't stop smiling.

I was stunned and more than a little jealous. _I _wanted to look like that. I wanted a guy to look at me as more than just Rosalie Hale's little kid sister, who was too short and too skinny and too _flat _to be of any interest.

But as soon as the thought crossed my mind, I knew it was wrong for me to be envious. Rosalie deserved to glow that way. More than anyone else I knew, Rose needed to be happy. Losing her parents at such a young age had been understandably tough on her, though she tried to hide it. Growing up so fantastically beautiful certainly hadn't helped either.

She still deserved that kind of happiness, I thought as I watched her out of the corner of my eye. Except I hadn't seen her glow since high school. Since Emmett Cullen.

I took a quick look at Bella, who was picking at threads on the chair upholstery, trying to be invisible again. It was a habit I'd long tried to break her of. She was a beautiful, amazing woman, and I wished that she'd just realize it and stop trying to hide. She'd gained a lot of confidence in college and after college, but it was always during unsure moments like these that Bel tended to retreat into her quiet, shy shell.

Looking back over at Rosalie, I felt a wave of sympathy. She looked emotionally drained and I couldn't blame her. She'd never gotten over Emmett, and seeing him today must have been a horrible shock.

"So," I tried to ask as casually as possible, as if I weren't incredibly interested in her answer, "how did you run into them?"

"They came to me," Rosalie replied shortly, apparently annoyed that we were still discussing this. "Apparently they found my name in the realtors' directory and decided to use me for 'old time's sake.'"

"Emmett did?" I was more than a little surprised at that. He didn't seem to be the type that would come crawling back nearly seven years later.

"No. It was Edward. Emmett was just as surprised to see me as I was to see him." Rosalie scowled and I knew I would have paid money to be a fly on the wall during that encounter. Emmett and Rosalie had always had such an emotionally charged relationship, and seven years apparently hadn't cooled it down any.

"Edward?" I questioned. I was being deliberately obtuse, hoping to finally drag it out of her.

"Yes," Rosalie ground out. "Their younger brother. You know exactly who Edward Cullen is, so stop pretending that you don't, you'll just make me angry again." From her voice I could tell exactly what she thought of Edward, both then and now.

So obviously Emmett had been there, and Edward, but what about Jasper? I wasn't sure I could trust myself to ask, even as I berated myself for still caring so much all these years later. He certainly wasn't caring a torch, I thought. There was no reason to be so worked about it.

"Jasper was there too. It's written all over your face, Alice." Rosalie's voice was merely resigned at this point.

"I got a call late yesterday asking if I had some time first thing this morning to speak to a group of entrepreneurs about finding a location for their new business. I naturally agreed, had my secretary take down the information, and didn't think anything more about it. It wasn't until the Cullen brothers showed up in my office this morning that I realized what had happened."

"Are you taking their account?" Bella spoke up for the first time, keeping her question both neutral in tone and in subject, and smartly, I observed, switching over from personal matters to those that were purely professional in nature.

Rosalie sighed. "I don't know. It would be a big coup for me. I've been trying to move away from residential, and this would help, but I honestly don't know if I can work with him."

Both Bella and I noticed she'd said him, not them. So Emmett was clearly the problem, not the rest of the Cullen family.

"So don't," Bella suggested. "Work with Edward and Jasper. Easy solution."

"But it looks so. . .unprofessional and cowardly. I don't want him to think I can't face him. It was seven years ago. I'm sure he could care less if we work together."

Somehow I doubted it. I also desperately wished that I could get a non-biased, analysis of Emmett's behavior today out of Rosalie. Of course, that was reaching for the stars, but it still would have been nice to know if he had been as affected as Rose clearly was. Coming from a completely objective third party, I'd have to say yes.

Bella spoke up again and I sent her a quick look of gratitude. "I think you should try, Rose. You're so strong, and no matter how he hurt you, it's not worth giving up an excellent business contact."

I wasn't sure if Bella's advice was purely business, especially from the gleam in her eye, but I could hardly argue with her. Maybe a miracle could happen and Rosalie could at least recover enough to finally move onto someone else, and she could stop dating jerks. Even though all my friends thought I was the most optimistic person they knew, I'd long since given up hope of a reconciliation between Emmett and Rose. They were far too pig-headed and proud to ever consider admitting they'd made a mistake.

Of course, Bella didn't know the circumstances of their breakup. Rose had been careful to keep any knowledge of Emmett from her, and I was forbidden from mentioning the Cullen brothers, which was fine by me. I didn't want anyone to know that I'd been carrying a torch for stupid Jasper, who couldn't even be bothered to kiss me once, seven years ago.

Rosalie nodded slowly. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt. And they'll probably do very well. They showed me their business model and I wouldn't be surprised if they ended up extraordinarily successful. Dr. Cullen lent them the start-up money, of course, but it's more than that. It's like they have the three parts that they'd need in that type of business."

"What kind of business?" Bella's voice was deceptively calm. I could see the wheels turning in her head, and if Rosalie hadn't been so blessedly distracted, Bel couldn't have hidden it

"Car modification. Designing mods, installing them, that kind of thing. They'll need a large warehouse, and shop area, as well as administrative offices. Emmett is, of course, the head mechanic and designer. Jasper's degree is in drafting and engineering, so he'll work on the manufacturing side. Edward has the head for business. They'll be a good team. It would be stupid of me not to sign on at the ground floor."

Bella nodded. "Of course. And you're a very smart businesswoman and realtor, Rosalie. They'd be crazy not to nab you."

"That's exactly what Edward said," Rose sighed, "as if it changes anything."

"It does. This is just business. Your past with Emmett is personal. The two don't have to mix."

I watched with fascination as Bella totally took on Rosalie. If I hadn't known that she had some other agenda, I'd have believed her completely, and it looked as if Rose was close to doing just that.

Rosalie's eyes swiveled over to me and I carefully kept my expression blank. I didn't want my reaction to influence what Bella was trying to do. _Whatever _it was Bella was trying to do. As soon as Rose left the room, I was going to hold Bel hostage until she told me.

"What do you think, Alice?"

"I think you should go for it. You've let him hold you back so many times, just for once, you should be able to do something in spite of him." I let confidence and my natural bubbly enthusiasm seep into my tone, all the while hoping that my answer wasn't too bluntly honest for Rose. Emmett _had _held her back. She'd been a different person after their affair had ended. Cold and hard and so bitter.

But right now Rosalie looked soft and vulnerable, her eyes still a little puffy from her earlier tears, her mouth drooping slightly, and the lines of emotional stress and pain clearly evident on her face.

"You should go to bed, sweetheart," I said, walking over to her and wrapping my arms tightly around her shoulders. "You look worn out."

"I am," Rosalie nodded in agreement, "I'll see you guys in the morning, then." She threw one more quick look of thanks at Bella, then trudged off to her bedroom, her heels making echoing clicks on the hardwood floor.

I waited until I heard the bedroom door click close behind Rosalie, and then the words just exploded out of my mouth.

"_What _are you doing Bel! You do realize that this could backfire in so many ways."

Bella laughed, and I couldn't tell if it was with me or at me. "Silly. I'm not up to anything. I really think this is a great opportunity for Rose."

I didn't believe her at all. There was a mischievous, almost defiant, look in her dark eyes that told me she wasn't being completely straightforward.

"You know that you're lying. I know you're lying. Just tell me," I begged quietly. Bella couldn't do anything without me knowing first, she might run into Jasper and then everything would hit the fan.

Bella leaned back in the chair and eyed me speculatively, as she dropped a bomb in my lap. "First you tell me about Jasper. I want the whole story."

I gaped. "No, no, no. You don't need to hear that."

Bella just looked at me, one eyebrow quirked.

"There's nothing to tell," I protested.

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much," Bella sang with the most infuriating smug smile on her face.

"Fine," I ground out, "I'll tell you. But I promise that really, nothing happened."

Bella knew me all too well and her mobile features were instantly sympathetic. "Oh, Alice. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have tried to pry it out of you."

Was it so painfully obvious that I'd wanted something to happen between us that badly?

"No, you were right to," I pressed on, "I know I'm not as brave as Rosalie. I like to avoid unpleasant things. Not that Jasper is unpleasant. . ."

"That nothing happened is unpleasant," Bella finished. I sighed. She knew me so well.

* * *

_Seven years earlier_

A week later and Rosalie's glow had simply grown, despite that very little had happened between her and Emmett in the interim.

At least that's what I thought until I was very rudely awoken at 3 in the morning by a panicked scream. I sat up abruptly in bed, and immediately tried to figure out where the offensive noise had come from. It had been quite close. . .almost next door. . .and I knew instantly where. Rosalie's room.

I climbed out of bed and flung myself into the hallway, moving as fast as my short legs would go, panic and adrenaline rushing through me.

Rosalie's door was open, and the light was on. My mother stood in the middle of the room, and she was staring at Rose's empty bed.

I had a very dualistic reaction. On one hand, I was thrilled for Rosalie that she was able to sneak out. She must be with Emmett. How romantic.

On the other hand, I was furious with her for getting caught. If I ever wanted to sneak out in the future, it would be next to impossible now. Rose had put my parents on high alert.

Mom turned around and the expression on her face warred between fear and anger.

"Where is your sister?" she hissed at me.

"I. . .I. . .I have no idea. I didn't know she was going out." Obviously, Rose had decided not to tell me due to this possibility. If I'd known, she knew I would have simply spit it out. I was a terrible liar. But since I didn't know, I couldn't tell. Smart Rosalie. Of course, I didn't need psychic powers to know she was with Emmett.

My mother glowered at the dark figure behind me and I turned to see my father in the doorway.

"Frank, she's gone," she said, her voice small and all of a sudden, not angry, but mostly scared.

"She hasn't taken any of her stuff," I reassured her. "She'll be back."

"Unless you can tell me where she went, I don't want to hear it, Alice," Dad snapped. I could hear the stress and worry and see it written in his body language.

We were good kids, both of us, and neither Rosalie nor I had ever done anything really bad before. This didn't mean that my parents didn't spend a good portion of their time worrying that we would. And I knew that Rose came with more cause to worry, due to her stupendous looks and her craving for speed.

I crossed my arms over my chest and let a pout sneak onto my face. It served them right that they hadn't asked me _who _Rosalie could be with. I didn't have to volunteer the information. Let them figure it out on their own.

Dad left the room, abruptly and I knew he was checking the garage. I heard the door open and close again. He came back up the stairs.

"The R32's in the garage still. She would never leave it behind." He sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair.

My mother turned to me again, the fear and anger both still present in her gray eyes. "Alice, go to bed. We'll stay up to wait for Rosalie to come home. You have school tomorrow, you'll need your rest."

I bit back the reply that Rosalie _also _had school tomorrow and she was obviously not in bed. That wouldn't have helped matters any.

I sulkily marched back to my bedroom and curled back under the covers. It was a cold night in Forks and I wondered what Rosalie and Emmett were up to. Mental images assaulted my still sleep-addled brain and I immediately wished I'd never thought that. Maybe I didn't want to know what they were doing together on such a cold night.

Still, I had to admit that Rosalie had a style and a swagger that I envied. I was the enthusiastic, cheerful, bubbly one. Accompanying that particular group of traits seemed to be the automatic, "good girl" label as well. I had never done anything to change that fact, and I wasn't sure I wanted to. Rosalie, on the other hand, would never let a small stupid thing such as _rules _to get in her way. She saw what she wanted and took it, in a brash and confident way that I couldn't help but wish I could emulate.

Except, of course, in instances like this one where she was very likely to get in trouble and even more likely to get grounded.

I tried to stay awake for awhile, hoping I'd hear when Rosalie came home, but all I could hear was the faint whispering of my parents, who were obviously sitting in Rosalie's room. Unfortunately it'd been a long day for me, capped off by a rather long twilight jog, and so I was tired. I fell asleep long before Rose showed up.

The next morning, Rose was already sitting at the kitchen table when I came downstairs. The atmosphere was tense and I could tell that my parents were both furious with her. But Rose seemed oblivious. Instead she couldn't seem to wipe the smile off her face.

Trust Rose to gloat over her good fortune even as she was in the crapper with my parents.

Finally, my dad snapped. "I don't see what's worth smiling over Rose. You're grounded from now until the end of the next millennium."

She kept on smiling, and I figured that if Emmett was good enough to be worth all this trouble, then he must be pretty fantastic indeed.

"What about me?" I asked, keeping my tone light and casual.

"What about you?" My dad asked, his voice getting louder. "Did you do something too that you deserve to be grounded for? If so, then I don't want to hear it. Not right now, anyway."

"No, no," I laughed, "I haven't done anything. I just wanted to know if Rose can still hang out with me."

My parents exchanged worried looks. This was a problem they had run into before. Having two girls in the same house who were best friends seemed to eliminate the true nature of grounding. Add to that living in Forks and there not being any worthwhile place to go in the city limits, and grounding pretty much took on a useless dimension.

"Well," my mother started, her brow furrowed, "I suppose it's impossible to stop you from seeing each other. You do live in the same house."

Rosalie snuck a surreptitious glance in my direction, and I could read it as well as if she'd spoken out loud. She was grateful for my timely intervention. I should have known that she was more upset than she let on. Finishing my cereal in a few big bites, I got up from the table and shot Rosalie a look of my own. She shot up from the table and grabbed her purse.

"Okay, we're off to school." Her falsely cheerful voice echoed throughout the yellow and white kitchen, and we were both out the door, climbing into Rose's R32 before either parent could emit a word.

As soon as the car left the driveway, I turned to Rosalie and pounced.

"You HAVE to tell me everything, Rosalie Hale!" I bounced excitedly up and down on the seat, only to have Rose shoot me a glare.

"You're going to ruin my seats," she whined, "the springs will never be the same."

"I don't care about your damn seats. I want to know where you went last night."

Rose smiled mischievously. "Don't you want to know _who _I was with?"

"As if I didn't know! Come on, Rose, tell me everything," I begged unrepentantly. "I have no life, so I have to live vicariously through yours."

"I don't know. . ." Rosalie said, smiling again, but this was almost as if she had a special secret she wanted to gloat over. Which she obviously did.

"Please?" I tried one last ditch effort, hoping I could someone convince Rose to divulge why her bed had been empty at three in the morning.

Rosalie finally shook her head, almost regretfully. "It's not that I don't trust you, Alice, and I do want to tell you, but . . .I want it to be just. . .my memory for now. Mine and Emmett's." She blushed as she said his name, and my jaw dropped. I'd never ever seen Rosalie blush before.

She pulled into the Forks High School parking lot a little too fast, and gravel flew as she skidded into a parking spot.

"Now," she said, turning to me, flush forgotten. "You have to help me find a way out of being grounded."


	5. Chapter 5

**Author Note:**

**Another day, another chapter! I know this update took longer, but you should all be gratified that I took time out from my vacation to the beach and my birthday to write this! Actually, for the 4th of July, my boyfriend and I went to stay with his family at the Oregon Writers Colony house, which is this amazing log cabin at Rockaway Beach, OR, that was built in the 1930s by the same architect that created Timberline Lodge. You Oregonians (if there are any) will know what I'm talking about. Anyway, it has a long 20+ year history of housing writers, and I felt very inspired.**

**Also, I do want to say, thank you for all your reviews. If anyone has suggestions they'd like to make, or ideas, I'm all ears. I'm thinking about throwing a contest, and was wondering if anyone would be interested in participating. Prize would probably be something along the lines of. . .me answering one question about this story, or me writing you a specific scene from a different POV. . .and it would be a trivia contest. So let me know.**

**Speaking of POVs, you've probably noticed that I spend a long time in one POV (this whole chapter is in Alice's POV, for example), and that so far, we've only had three (Alice, Rosalie and Bella). I am undecided whether or not we will have any chapters in Edward, Jasper or Emmett's POVs. If you have any feelings on this one way or the other, I'd like you to let me know. It's not that I don't feel comfortable writing in their POV, I'm just not sure it's necessary for the story, and I'd like to keep the POV changes down simply for flow and continuity.**

**I know, this is a huge AN. It's wrapping up, I promise. Lastly, I have just about finished the plot setup and the flashbacks are just about to end. There are maybe one or two more flashback scenes I'm considering writing (one for sure). And then, we start plot! Woo hoo. For all of you Bella and Edward fans, the next chapter will be one, I'm sure, of great interest to you.  
**

**So thanks again for sticking with me, for enjoying this story, and for telling me so. Characters (but really, only their names), belong to Stephenie Meyer. Thanks also to my beta, Tamaleine, who rocks.**

* * *

APOV

Rosalie and I agreed to meet at lunch to discuss possible plans to escape her cruel and unfair punishment. I went to my English class, while Rose ventured to Trigonometry. I marveled yet again at her bravery at tackling such an incomprehensible subject. I got away with the easiest math classes I was allowed, and even those I considered serious taxation for my brain. Me and numbers didn't seem to mix well.

I was so engrossed in trying to figure out a way out of Rosalie's grounding that I didn't even notice that Mrs. Leslie, the English teacher, was looking at me irately and I couldn't help but blush with shame and embarrassment.

"Alice? Alice!"

"Yes?" I replied meekly, wondering how much I had missed.

"Could you please pay a bit more attention to our discussion of _The Great Gatsby_?" She sounded greatly put out and I didn't blame her. Being a high school teacher probably wasn't easy in the best of times, and I was sure that I made things a great deal harder with my general absentmindedness.

I heard a snickering behind me and whipped my head around only to meet the condescending, yet gorgeous amber eyes of Jasper Cullen. I'd forgotten he was in my English class, mostly because he never spoke. I couldn't figure out if it was because he was shy and quiet or because he considered himself too overly important to speak to any of the inhabitants of Forks.

I turned back in my chair with a huff, and tried to focus back on Mrs. Leslie, but the truth was, my concentration was worse off now than it'd been before. Jasper's face hovered in my vision, and I couldn't shake it.

Okay, so he was just a little bit gorgeous. Tall and lanky, yet with just enough substance to know that he wasn't only skin and bones under his clothes, but that there was muscle there too. His golden blond hair was fairly short, but its length only seemed to emphasize the beautifully carved cheekbones and solid jaw of his face. Not to mention those ethereal amber eyes. I blushed and was relieved he was behind me and couldn't see my ongoing reaction to his presence.

Damn him. Damn him to the farthest reaches of hell _and _back. Now that I knew he was behind me, I could feel the weight of his gaze on my back, and the very thought nearly made my spine shiver. How could he do this to me when we'd never even had a conversation?

Not for lack of trying on my part. I'd noticed him watching me once or twice and I'd given him a very friendly smile, hoping to encourage him to break the ice between us. But he'd merely inclined his head slightly and walked away. I was left feeling strangely bereft and more than a little unattractive. Of course, when your honorary sister and best friend was Rosalie, this was a natural state of affairs.

I hadn't mentioned my interest to Rose, who only would have told Emmett, who naturally would have informed his brother and therefore ensured my humiliation. But now that Emmett and Rosalie seemed to be so _close_, I had renewed hope that maybe time would actually force a conversation between Jasper and I. Surely, it was only a matter of time.

Of course, he was snobby and smug and everything else I hated in a man. Having a conversation with him would only end up confirming my suspicions, I was sure. Nobody who looked like that could actually be _shy_.

The rest of English passed without Mrs. Leslie calling on me again, thank goodness. I was free to let my mind wander as it pleased, though I obstinately told myself that I was thinking of how to get Rosalie out of her unfortunate situation, while in reality I was actually fantasizing about Jasper.

The bell rang, jerking me out of my thoughts. I gathered up my things and turned to walk out of the classroom, all the while knowing that Jasper's eyes were still on me. I couldn't understand why he stared at me if he had no interest in actually talking to me, and if he thought that I would simply break down and talk to him first, he was crazy. I had my pride, after all.

My two next classes, Biology and French, passed without incident and I made my way to the lunchroom to meet Rosalie, who was already sitting at one of the center tables, naturally, halfheartedly picking at her sandwich.

Emmett wasn't physically sitting with Rosalie but their glances back and forth seemed to speak volumes to anyone who was unlucky enough to intercept one. And if somehow you were immune to the scorching looks between the two of them, you'd only have to look at Mike Newton's dismayed face to learn the truth: Rosalie was officially off the market for the first time since we'd moved to Forks.

Ten minutes into lunch, Rosalie and I were still arguing over possibilities. I suggested that she simply sneak out again, but Rosalie had argued that her first time sneaking out hadn't been at all premeditated and she wasn't going to make a habit of it.

Of course, that had immediately piqued my interest, though truthfully, my interest in what had happened the night before had never really dissipated. I couldn't get anything more out of Rosalie though. She was locked down tight, and refused to divulge anything else.

Finally, we fell into a disparate silence, both of us frustrated that we couldn't think of a way around our parents. Of course, it probably shouldn't have mattered to me that Rose couldn't circumvent her punishment, but I loved her and I wanted her to be happy. If Emmett was the key to the glow she carried around her like a palpable haze, then so be it.

Rosalie's mouth was downturned, and her brightness had begun to fade a little. I felt obligated to try to cheer her up, though I knew I wasn't what she wanted right now.

"Hey, it won't be so bad. It can only last so long, and in the meantime, you've got me to hang out with." I tried giving Rose a big smile, but it died a little in the execution.

Rosalie halfheartedly smiled back and her gaze fell back into her sandwich.

I took another bite of salad and silence fell between us again.

Then, like a light bulb flashing on, Rosalie suddenly straightened up. "Ohmigod, that's exactly it, Alice!"

I felt at least one step behind Rosalie's reasoning. "What is exactly it?"

"That's how we get around me being grounded. You can be with me. Mom said you could be, mainly because she knew she couldn't prevent it. But she didn't say that I couldn't be with you _and _someone else."

I felt a horrible realization dawning. "You mean I can hang out with you _and _Emmett?"

"Of course," Rosalie chattered, all moping completely forgotten in view of this new and amazing solution to her problem. "That's the best thing to do."

"So you think I should be a third wheel?"

"Oh, you wouldn't be a third wheel, Alice," Rosalie laughed, completely unconcerned.

Except that I knew I couldn't be more than a third wheel even if I tried. Then an even darker realization hit me, just as Rosalie continued.

"I'll just have Emmett bring Edward or Jasper. Then the two of us can sneak off." Rosalie beamed at me, thrilled with herself.

My stomach plummeted, yet the smile remained plastered on my face. I was determined not to let Rosalie know how upset I was that she was basically going to have to persuade Emmett's brothers to keep me occupied. She was going to have to set me up. Because I couldn't attract someone. And Jasper would know. Could the humiliation sting any worse?

Rosalie seemed to have no idea that I was so upset. She was still chattering away, her voice echoing through my panicking brain, yet I didn't hear a single word of what she was saying.

She must have said she would go talk to Emmett because she gave me a quick smile and was up and moving toward where Emmett was sitting. I watched as she gracefully slid onto the bench next to him and he put an arm around her and drew her close. I suppose I should have been happy for Rosalie, but all I could think was that Jasper was going to find out that I needed help to get a date. And even worse, I had a feeling that it was going to be his lot to keep me occupied.

* * *

When Rosalie and I met at the car immediately after school, her face alone gave her away. I knew she'd arranged some outing for the four of us, and I wanted to cringe.

"Alice! So, good news. We've got plans!" Rosalie nearly vibrated with excitement. She appeared to have entirely left behind her bored persona. She was beside herself with happiness and couldn't even try to hide it anymore.

"Oh? We?" I asked casually.

"Yep. Emmett and I, of course. And Jasper's going to come along so you don't feel like so much of a third wheel."

Great. It had to be Jasper Cullen. Maybe if I didn't find him so ridiculously attractive this wouldn't be the unmitigated disaster it was turning into.

"Come on," Rose said, "we're meeting them at their house after school." Rosalie was almost beginning to remind me of myself and it began to dawn on me why some people found it me so annoying.

"You know," I grumbled back at her, "the happy cheery Rosalie could get a little . . ._old_."

She laughed, the sound incredibly happy and joyous. "Silly Alice, you'd better get used to it. 'Cause happy Rosalie's gonna be around for awhile."

We pulled out of the parking lot at a fast, yet totally normal for Rosalie, speed. But as we drove on the winding roads to the Cullen residence, I felt a panic building that had nothing to do with how closely the R32 hugged the curves.

"Couldn't we stop at the house and get. . .freshened up?" I needed to do something to postpone this conversation and somehow come up with a way to turn Jasper's all too coherent brain into mush. I needed to fix my hair. I needed to change my clothes. More makeup. Anything. Of course, I had put the normal amount of time into all of the above this morning before school, but this situation called for extra reinforcements.

"Oh come on. You'll just be talking to Jasper. He's not going to notice what you're wearing." Rosalie's lips turned up into a smirk and she sent me a sideways glance that just said it all. I think she must have guessed what my problem was. I didn't need to ask her anymore why it was Jasper and not Edward that I was meeting. She'd obviously seen right through me and all my myriad issues.

I didn't mention that Jasper seemed to notice _everything _with those incredible light eyes of his. Nothing escaped his notice, and in five minutes he'd be cataloguing every thread on my body.

Just the thought of his intent eyes on me, picking me apart thread by thread, cell by cell, had me involuntarily shuddering—or shivering—I couldn't tell which, and by now, it didn't matter. I detested him and was incredibly attracted to him all in the same breathless second.

Rosalie turned onto a long gravel driveway that led up to an elegant yet simple rambling white house. It was large, but the last thing you remembered when you looked at it was its size. Instead, you could only concentrate on its lovely, natural lines. Before Rosalie even had the parking brake on, the front door opened and a woman stepped onto the porch. From this distance, she looked very young, but I knew this had to be Esme Cullen, who had adopted three boys and raised them to near adulthood with her husband, Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Yet the woman didn't look older than thirty, I marveled, as we got closer.

"You must be Rosalie and Alice. I'm Esme Cullen." She was even more beautiful up close. Her eyes were kind, and I knew that Rose was marveling at how good of condition her skin was in for someone her age, and how she'd managed it. Knowing Rose, she'd have the secret out of Esme within a week and be implementing it into her own beauty routine.

We shook hands and made small polite talk on the porch, until the door opened again and Emmett walked out, followed by Jasper. My heart started beating rapidly, then sank deeper than I'd thought possible into my stomach.

Emmett went directly to Rosalie's side, casually slinging a muscular arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. I swallowed back the wave of jealousy I couldn't help but feel as Jasper stayed back with Esme, his eyes remote, his body language cold and unfeeling. Yet I couldn't deny that there was something in his gaze that unsettled me and lit a smoldering fire deep down in a place I didn't recognize.

"Jasper, do you know Alice?" Emmett asked, a little too formally for my taste. We were going to have to go through an introduction, further drawing attention to the fact that Jasper and I had never officially spoken. Why was it that I already felt like I knew him despite that I'd never met him? His eyes seemed flat most of the time, devoid of any emotion that might give him away, and his body language was difficult if not impossible to decipher, but I still felt as if I could read his soul.

"Alice." Jasper stepped forward, towering over me, and I felt my heart nearly stop. I had been mentally girding myself for the moment that Jasper spoke my name, but nothing I'd imagined could have prepared me for the reality.

I took a deep breath, prayed that my voice was steady, and extended my hand. "Hi, Jasper."

He glanced at my outstretched hand and waited just a second more than was polite to reach his hand forward to meet mine. It was only then that I realized the innate stupidity of my action. Our skin was going to touch. I wasn't sure I could even school my facial features to prevent any kind of reaction when the inevitable came to pass.

Then his hand, which was rougher and more calloused than I'd thought, was holding mine. His skin was warm, and just the contact made my heart race faster. I wasn't sure what kind of expression I was wearing, but it was enough to make him drop it almost immediately after the handshake, if it could even be called that. He hadn't even moved an inch when he'd taken hold of my hand, and my mind was hazy with the thrill of it.

Emmett and Rosalie mumbled something about taking off to the shop, but my brain was buzzing so loudly that I couldn't even register what they were really saying. All I could focus on was the way that Jasper's eyes seemed to have thawed in the last thirty seconds and they were boring into mine as if they could never get enough. The happy couple walked away and we were left standing with just Esme.

"Perhaps you'd like to show Alice the backyard, Jasper?" Esme's voice was tinged with amusement, and I could only guess that she knew exactly what was going on.

Jasper wordlessly stepped off the porch and I followed him. My shorter legs had trouble keeping up at first and I had to nearly run to catch him. When I finally did, he turned to me.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine," I could only reply, hoping that he didn't note the breathiness of my voice, an unfortunate combination of running and reacting to his presence.

"Good." He shot me a warm smile--his first--and my defenses weakened even farther.

We rounded the bend of the house and the backyard came into view. I gasped. The landscaping surrounding the house was breathtaking. There was no way Esme could have done this in the few short weeks that the Cullens had lived here.

The grass was a cool green blanket on the ground, and the edges of the lawn were surrounded by large puddles of colorful wildflowers, obviously picked to thrive in Forks' cold and wet environment. A stream meandered through a corner of the yard, ending in a grouping of beautifully marbled rocks. I knew it was a serious landscaping project when even the rocks appeared to have been handpicked to coordinate with the rest of the yard. As a result, the overall impression was one of simplistic and almost haphazard beauty, but I knew that the effect was deliberate. It fit perfectly into the surrounding woods, and seemed merely a wild, yet somehow tamed, extension of what bordered it.

The surprise must have shown on my face because Jasper laughed. "Our dad, Carlisle, insists that Esme have a beautiful garden wherever she goes. She wouldn't mind starting from scratch, but he hates moving her so often as it is. So he'll often send landscaping crews ahead to finish before we even move."

My eyes started to smart at the expression of love that was surrounding us. What an extraordinary family this was. A family of foster children, nurtured by a loving mother and father, whose love for their adopted offspring was only eclipsed by their love for each other.

"It _is_ amazing. We're very lucky," Jasper said quietly, steering me to a small seating group tucked away in the corner of the garden. The chairs were hard redwood, and quite rustic, but very comfortable. I relaxed into one of them, and I knew that the garden had worked its magic. I was feeling more comfortable with Jasper than I ever thought I would. Of course, up close he didn't seem as intimidating, just ridiculously attractive.

"Thank you," I said, trying not to feel self-conscious about the yawning chasm of silence that seemed ready to swallow us up at any moment. Clearly he had no idea what to say to me, and I had even less of an idea of what to say to him.

"No. _Thank you_. If you hadn't helped Rosalie come here today, I think Emmett would have burst out of his skin. Women don't usually affect him, but. . .well. . .Rose is. . ." Jasper trailed off, not wanting to say, I was sure, that he found her incredibly gorgeous. Yet another easily-made conquest that Rosalie didn't even want.

I sternly told myself that Jasper's reaction was normal and understandable. It was so easy for someone like me to fade in the presence of Rosalie's over-the-top beauty. I shouldn't expect him to even look at me the way a man looks at a woman. He was simply being nice and keeping me company while our brother and sister spent time together.

"Rosalie is unique. I hope your brother is good enough for her, " I finally joked.

Silence fell between us again. I wondered if he was regretting taking me on. Usually I had no problem making small talk, but something about Jasper tied my tongue into knots.

Finally he spoke. "You don't seem very interested in _The Great Gatsby_." His voice was almost stern, like he was reprimanding me. His eyes had returned to those unfathomable pools of hard amber, and his posture was awkward in his chair.

He was talking about school? Couldn't he be a normal person and figure out how to make polite conversation that was at least interesting?

I couldn't keep the incredulous tone out of my voice. "It's okay," I said, not sure what else to answer when presented with a question like that.

"You don't pay very close attention."

"I have a lot on my mind sometimes," I retorted. I felt as if I was defending myself from a crime I hadn't even realized I had committed. For all his gorgeousness, he sure was awkward in social situations. I was beginning to realize why he had never approached me. He'd probably learned that actually speaking to other human beings seemed to forever mar his gorgeous appeal. It was better to stay silent and distant and preserve the fantasy that he was actually an accessible man.

"Like what? Vogue magazine? Clothes? The mall? A different hairstyle?" His voice was soft, yet there was definitely an accusation there. I hadn't felt so affronted in a long time. He thought I was absorbed in those kind of superficial activities and that was why I didn't pay attention in class? For all the intelligence he was rumored to have, he was sure stupid about some things.

I self-consciously touched my hair, wondering if he didn't like the jagged short cut that I favored, then immediately dropped my hand into my lap when I remembered that I could have cared less what he thought of me _or _my haircut.

"At least," I said, both voice and temper rising, "I don't spend most of my free time working on dirty hunks of metal." Rosalie had only mentioned that Emmett worked on cars, but guessing from the size of the garage, I was sure Jasper was involved somehow. If he thought I was going to sit by and watch him malign and belittle me without saying a single word in return, then he was crazy.

"And what's wrong with that?" His voice rose too, to match mine, and I realized that his eyes were no longer cold, but flashing with heat. Was it wrong that seeing them like that made me wonder what they looked like in other passionate situations?

I slid a scornful glance his direction. Let him think what he wished of me--I wasn't going to go out of my way to correct the false assumptions he'd made about me. In fact, it might even help if I could emphasize them. "You'd get so . . ._dirty_." The emphasis I put on the final word could only lead him to one, albeit erroneous, conclusion: I was superficial and silly. He'd baited me initially so I refused to feel bad about purposely misleading him. He could believe what he wanted to about me. See if I cared.

Jasper's eyes grew hotter and his lips clamped together in annoyance and probably outright anger. "Unlike some people, who only care about their outward appearance, we enjoy fixing and improving the insides of cars. Nothing wrong with that."

My fury continued to spiral out of control. "Are you implying that I only care about what's on the outside?"

He shrugged, eyes stoked hotter than a bonfire. "If the shoe fits. . ." Jasper trailed off, not daring, I noticed, to meet my eyes while he said this latest travesty.

I shot up from the chair, feeling more flustered by the look in his eyes than the fight we were apparently having. Not that he would ever find _that _out.

"I'm going to go find Rosalie," I flung at him, hoping to make him feel guilty about chasing me off. He flushed accordingly and I felt a wave of triumph wash over me. I turned to go but his voice stopped me in my tracks. It wasn't cold, and it wasn't superior or patronizing. It was kinder, and I could hear the shame in it.

"Alice. . .wait," Jasper pleaded, "I'm sorry. That was really unacceptable of me."

I turned and was astonished to find him looking nervous and unsure. He shifted his weight from foot to foot and looked at me almost sheepishly. It was as if the Ice King had finally melted.

I, however, was still wary.

"You're sorry? For calling me self-centered and vain?"

"I assumed. You always doze off in class and you look like you just stepped out of a magazine. But it's no excuse. I should have kept an open mind about you, and instead I jumped to conclusions."

He seemed sincere enough, and the truth was, I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that this gorgeous well-spoken specimen of a man wasn't a complete jerk. Wanted it to be true so much that it scared the living daylights out of me.

I took a deep breath. "I like to look nice. Polished. Put together. That doesn't mean that my whole thought process revolves around the way I look. Truth is, I've read _The Great Gatsby _several times before, on my own, and I just don't find the class' discussion very stimulating."

The way Jasper's jaw dropped at my words was, I had to admit, very sweet. There was nothing like proving wrong a self-important man who tended to be right.

"I. . .I. . ." he spluttered, seeming to be at a loss for words. "I'm very sorry, Alice," he finally got out, "so much so that I'll ignore the crack you made about being dirty." He smiled conspiratorially at me and my heart started pounding again. His smile was like a Prada bag and a Bebe dress rolled into one.

"Deal," I replied, extending my hand again before I could remember the consequences of doing that. This time Esme wasn't even here to save us.

Despite what had happened earlier, on the porch, Jasper took my hand almost eagerly and this time shook it vigorously. Platonically.

Maybe he was smart after all, because he let my hand go quickly, as if he were afraid to hold it in his too long. All I knew was that I was grateful since I was afraid of what I'd do if our skin touched one second longer.

* * *

**I'm cruel, I know. Cruel cruel cruel. . .but I do promise to update soon :)**

**Everyone enjoy! Please R & R!!**

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

**Author Note: This will be a short one, I promise! Thanks to my amazing beta, Tamaleine, and to Stephenie Meyer for providing me with great inspiration! Did anyone see and/or read this week's Entertainment Weekly? I think I am going to frame the cover and hang it on my wall lol. There didn't seem to be many takers for my trivia contest. . .I promise it would have been interesting! I am still considering doing it anyway. I'll let it simmer for another chapter before I make a decision. As for the POV question I asked, it seems that most people trust me as an author to make the best decisions regarding the POVs. We may still see Emmett/Edward/Jasper POV--I have not made a final decision and if a chapter calls for it, I may have to go down that path.**

**This chapter, chapter six (wow, are we that far along already?), is dedicated to every Bella x Edward lover! May we be satisfied at the end of Breaking Dawn and may Bella strive to deserve every woman's dream vampire. . .**

* * *

BPOV

I couldn't sleep that night. I tossed and turned, thinking of what I'd learned that I hadn't known about my two best friends. I'd always thought they'd gone through life so far happy and unconcerned with the heart sickness that seemed to preoccupy the rest of the universe. I'd been more than wrong.

They'd both been struck, and both had clearly spent the years in-between unsuccessfully trying to recover from the Cullen brothers' interference in their lives.

Of course, I wanted to know more. I wanted to know why Emmett and Rosalie had broken up and why his reappearance in her life, even as a mere business acquaintance, was enough to make her sob hysterically. I wanted to know where they went the night Rosalie snuck out. I didn't think Alice even knew, still. And poor Alice. . .doomed to love and wait for a man who hadn't cared at all. What had transpired between Alice and Jasper that had forced her to lock her heart away?

As I watched the sun break through the morning gloom, I knew that I couldn't resist using my newfound knowledge to try to bring some semblance of happiness to their lives. Alice, I knew, had been convinced that I'd been up to something last night. I honestly hadn't been. I'd simply known that Rosalie couldn't allow Emmett to walk out of her life again, and Alice needed another shot with Jasper. As their best friend, it was my duty to try to do what I could to give them both the impetus and the opportunity to finally make things right.

I was up early, showered and out of the door before I even heard Alice or Rosalie stirring in their bedrooms. I had a lot to think about and a lot to do, once I could finally decide the best way about going about this.

Finally, on the way into work, as I was gazing mindlessly at the car in front of me, I had an idea. Edward appeared to be the neutral party in this situation. Also, he seemed to be the participant most interested in seeing a reunion occur. He had, after all, picked Rosalie out of a listing. I would have Lucy, the office assistant, do some digging, get his phone number, and I'd give him a call this morning. Before my nerves got the better of me.

Neither Alice or Rosalie had mentioned what Edward was like, but I knew, deep down in an instinctual way, that he would be handsome. Charming. Intelligent. Perfect. But not for me.

Satisfied that I at least had a place to start, I felt my spirits lift as I pulled into the parking garage. I worked in downtown Portland, in one of a few dozen tall buildings that dotted the skyline. I liked working downtown; there was always something going on, or something to see. I especially liked the walks I took when I needed a break, and I would often meet Alice and Rosalie for lunch, as they both worked near me.

It was mid-June, and already the sun was shining hotly this morning. While fall through spring in the Pacific Northwest tended to be unpleasant and filled with rain, summers were glorious. Not too hot, with very little rain, and a gorgeously sunny blue sky that wasn't covered with pollution like much of California. For nine months a year, I waited for these magnificent three months of pure enjoyment.

The sun drenched my office and I took a deep breath of relief and happiness as I opened the door. I loved the opportunity to look out over Portland, but sometimes the seemingly never-ending parade of dull, cloudy and drizzly days began to grate. The sun was a commodity I had begun not to take for granted.

Flopping down on my leather chair, I slipped my headset on and was ready to press the blinking voicemail light when I remembered that I'd need Edward Cullen's phone number. Damn it. I couldn't understand the frisson of . . ._something. . ._that went through me every time I simply thought his name. I'd never even met the man. I'd never seen a picture of him. I'd never even heard him described. Why was it that I felt like I already knew him? If I wasn't determined to help Rosalie and Alice, I would have gone 180 degrees the opposite direction and avoided Edward Cullen like the plague.

I sighed. There was simply nothing else to be done. I had just had to bite the bullet and handle it professionally and quickly, with no complications or involvements. Rosalie and Alice were the ones who were going to get involved. I was going to do what I could, then duck out gracefully.

I hit the intercom button on the complicated phone in front of me. "Lucy, do you have a sec?"

About thirty seconds later, my door opened and Lucy walked in, balancing two cups of coffee in one hand as she closed the door behind her.

Often when I was at work, I felt in over my head. There was no denying I was a quick study and had a natural knack for sales, but sometimes I questioned the intelligence of promoting me so quickly. Whenever I felt especially unworthy, Lucy was a great shoulder to cry on. Metaphorically, of course. I wasn't like Rosalie, who (almost) never cried, but I certainly liked to keep my tears to myself and away from the workplace.

"Morning Bella, what's up?" Lucy chirped as she handed over the mug brimming with the magic liquid that would get me through my morning.

"You're a saint, by the way," I replied, "but I do have a favor. More of a personal favor than a professional one. . ."

I knew Lucy wouldn't blink an eye at this. She was used to unusual requests, dealing with six quirky and difficult sales staff.

"Yes?" she prompted, clearly ready for whatever I could throw at her. There was no point in delaying this any longer.

"There are three brothers, last name Cullen, who are looking into opening a business in the Portland area. A mechanical sort of garage. Customizations to make cars faster, that sort of thing. I need Edward Cullen's contact information."

Lucy, after fixing her chunky-framed glasses and tucking a strand of golden streaked brown hair behind an ear, had put her coffee down and was taking quick and succinct notes as I spoke. "Go on," she said, barely taking her eyes off her pad.

"There's not much else to tell," I stammered.

Lucy looked up and threw an exasperated stare my direction. "Of course there is. Like . . ._why _you want this guy's phone number."

I gaped at Lucy's grinning face. "Uh. . .for a personal project?" I knew it was a terrible excuse, but I couldn't exactly tell her the truth.

She sent me a single, telling look. Lucy was like the mother hen of the office. She could steer all six of us, even Sabrina, the lead sales associate, into line, with only her patented glares as ammunition.

"Fine. It's for Rosalie."

"Better," Lucy said, snapping the lid on her pad and gathering her coffee from my desk. "Though I would rather it was for you. Besides Alice and Rosalie, all you ever do is work. You need a boyfriend."

"There's a lot to do," I defended, "I need to earn this new promotion."

"You already earned it. Everyone knows it. Some people just find it harder to accept." Lucy knew how hard a select few in the office had made it for me during my rapid ascent. If it hadn't been for Lucy and my mentor, Sabrina, I knew I wouldn't be where I was today. In my corner office. Making way too much money for a girl of 24. Money that only Alice seemed interested in spending.

"So that's it then?" Lucy added, a little too nonchalantly for my taste.

I nodded, and Lucy moved toward the door. "I'll let you know when I have the info."

"I appreciate it, Luce. Really."

"And again, it's not a problem. That's why I'm here." Sending me one more reassuring smile, she quietly clicked the door behind her.

I was left to the silence and the sunshine. Sighing, I again turned to the phone and its taunting red light. There was work to be done and calls to return.

Mid-morning, I was taking busy doing quotations and typing emails, when the intercom chirped next to me.

"Bel, I've got your info. Check your email," Lucy's disembodied voice announced.

"Great. Thanks," I replied, only to hear silence from her end. She'd probably already moved onto the next thing. Her work made our entire office run, and it had probably been rude and selfish of me to steal her to do this favor, but Lucy knew how to uncover information that I couldn't even begin to find.

Sure enough, when I looked back at my computer screen, there was an email in my inbox from Lucy, with Edward Cullen's contact info. _All of it_. His home phone number, cell phone, address, fax number, all of it. I didn't even want to think if Lucy had broken any rules to get this. Breathing hard, I quickly closed the email and turned to the wall of glass behind me in an attempt to calm myself down.

My deep breathing exercises were interrupted by the phone ringing. I turned back to the desk and grabbed it.

"Lucy, I got it! Now stop your meddling." As soon as the exasperated words were out of my mouth, I remembered that the ring hadn't been the incessant beep of the intercom. My stomach dropped to the stiletto heels Alice had persuaded me to buy on our last shopping trip.

"Now that isn't very nice," a male voice replied. It was smooth and sure, almost suave, but with just enough self-deprecating humor that let me know he didn't take himself all that seriously. I'd spent most of the last two years on the phone and had really begun to read people just by their voice. My mentor, Sabrina, thought it was a natural gift. I continually insisted it was a survival skill honed through desperation.

"Uh. . .I'm sorry?" I was frantically trying to remember if I'd talked to the customer before, and at the same time, scrolling through every conversation I'd ever had with Sabrina in an attempt to find any advice at how to placate a customer that you'd just yelled at.

"You must be Bella."

"That's me," I said, rather lamely. For all my two years of experience on the phone, I knew that my efforts in the last thirty seconds were dismal at best. Man up, I ordered myself, and take control of this call.

I wrapped and re-wrapped the phone cord around my fingers, nearly cutting off the circulation and I wondered if I could break concentration for long enough to find my stress ball. Nope, I decided, there was no time to lose here. I could afford to lose a finger or two.

"Isabella Swan," I added, as gracefully as possible, "what can I do for you today?"

"A consummate salesman," the male voice chuckled, "isn't it my lucky day?"

"Saleswoman," I corrected, before I could even stop myself.

"Is this the way you talk to all your customers?"

"No," I said, hoping he didn't hear me banging my head against the desk in futility. What I wouldn't do to go back in time and change the direction of this phone call.

His next words interrupted my self-mutilation. "I'm Edward Cullen. I believe you've heard of me."

I gaped, completely speechless, as I pulled my head off the desk, only to have my jaw drop back down in shock.

"Yes." At this point, it was stupid to venture beyond one word answers.

"I have a proposition for you. Would you like to meet for coffee? Lunch?" As soon as the word, "proposition," left his mouth, I was back in control, reminding that no matter how drop dead sexy his voice was, I was a professional businesswoman and there was a deal to close.

"Coffee," I replied firmly, knowing that lunch could have dangerous connotations.

"An hour in the Starbucks in Pioneer Courthouse Square," Edward clarified, naming the expansive stone courtyard that was a few blocks from my office building.

"Perfect," I said, and before I could continue, I heard the click of his phone hanging up.

I turned again toward the incredible view my windows afforded, but I knew instinctively that nothing could have calmed my racing heart just then.

He was brash and bold, confident and charming. He was everything his brothers were, but I refused to become the latest Cullen brother conquest. After all, I reasoned, he was just trying to get my cooperation—not me.

* * *

Fifty minutes later, as I walked down the sun-dappled Portland streets, I had to keep reminding myself of that fact. I'd spend nearly half of the intervening time primping in the mirror, only to have to chastise myself in the strongest language possible that I was just average looking and it didn't matter one way or the other. The bright red button up and simple black slacks, paired with the outrageously expensive stilettos that I still hadn't gotten used to walking in, were perfectly fine. There was no need to wish that somehow I had the time to find something else to wear. This was an outfit that even Alice could have approved. She'd picked it out for me, after all.

A blast of cool air hit me when I opened the glass door to the Starbucks. The store was a standalone building of glass and metal that had sat on the corner of Pioneer Courthouse Square for a long time, or so Alice and Rosalie had told me. In the near past, it had, naturally, been converted to a Starbucks, but it still held a unique appeal that set it apart from the rest of the chains' stores.

Once inside, I surveyed the interior, wondering how I was going to be able to pick Edward Cullen out of the patrons scattered through the coffee shop. True, there weren't many, during this weekday mid-morning, but I still felt more than a slight twinge of embarrassment at the thought of having to approach every single young man in the entire room.

"Bella." His voice was exactly the same as on the phone: deep, dark and filled with amusement, like there was a joke he couldn't wait to share with me.

I turned toward the voice, and felt what little breath I had left catch in my chest. Oh, it was ridiculously unfair that he was so ridiculously good-looking. Except that I'd known he must be. Nobody had a voice like that and was ugly.

"You must be Edward." I managed that sentence only because I was careful to not look directly at him. I knew that if I did, his gloriousness would render me speechless and awkward, and I wanted to try to make up for my earlier and extremely gauche phone manner. I had a feeling that if I told him that I made my living selling over the phone, he wouldn't believe me. Hell, after living through that phone call I could barely believe it.

"Yes," he said and extended his hand. I swore inwardly. Of course, he would want to shake hands, and that would mean I'd have to look directly at him.

As soon as I did, I knew it was a horrible mistake. Because, god, he was gorgeous. Even more gorgeous than I'd expected.

His face looked like it had been sculpted by Michelangelo, with the most incredible planes and curves, all surrounding a pair of jewel bright green eyes that fairly brimmed with humor, intelligence and interest. His bronze hair fell carelessly over his forehead, and his smile could probably tempt a whole roster of angels.

Edward took my hand and shook it slowly, those incredible green eyes never leaving my face.

"I shouldn't be surprised," he nearly purred at me, "but I find that I am. Of course Rosalie and Alice's best friend is beautiful."

Beautiful? Me? He needed his eyes checked. My mouth opened and closed a few times, but with those same eyes mesmerizing me, it didn't seem like I could put two words together.

"There's something I'd like to discuss with you," he continued smoothly, "and I've taken the liberty of getting you a latte. Would you like to sit down?"

Would I like to sit down? With someone who looked like a Greek god who'd also gotten me some free legal addictive stimulants?

Yes please, my mind shrieked, with a cherry on top.

Edward suavely led me to a table in the corner of the coffee shop and we sat down. He didn't immediately broach what was on his mind. In fact, he let the silence sit for a good minute, apparently preferring staring at me to speaking. I was fine with us not talking for awhile. I had yet to recover my entire faculties, but I was done humiliating myself for the day.

"Obviously you know who I am," Edward confided, leaning closer to me. God, he smelled even better than he looked. What did he wear? Bottled sin?

I nodded, immensely grateful that he couldn't read my thoughts.

"I have a favor to ask of you. I'm not sure how much you know about my past, but I haven't always been as nice as you probably think. I have a lot to . . ." he paused, obviously trying to pick his words carefully.

I gave him an encouraging nod. It was nice to know that Mr. Self-Assured had some occasional moments of doubt, and I finally felt at least a little bit at ease.

"I have a lot to make up for, you could say," Edward finished, his voice rueful.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I couldn't imagine what he'd done that he needed my help to erase.

"Rosalie. And Emmett." He shot me a look that positively shrieked of shame and embarrassment and I couldn't deny I was confused. Then it hit me.

"_You're _the reason they broke up in high school?"

He nodded and his facial expression was epitome of regret. "I was young and immature. I didn't understand what had happened to the older brother I worshipped. He even brought Rosalie to _our _garage. I felt . . .betrayed. Confused. And I can't deny that I had a pretty hefty bit of adoration for Rose myself. So I did the only thing I knew to do. I bet Emmett that he could get this other girl. . .god, I can't even remember her name now. . .to kiss him."

He stopped and sighed. I knew my eyes were huge and shocked and probably more than a little jealous. He'd had a crush on Rosalie. Probably still yearned for her. Any man that had once fallen for Rose would never be interested in me.

"Go on," I encouraged him, seeing that he needed to get this off his chest.

"Emmett didn't want to do it. He was crazy about Rosalie, couldn't even see other girls. But Emmett has his pride too, and I knew exactly how to push the right buttons. Finally, he agreed. I reassured him that it meant nothing and Rose would never find out about it. I told him it would stay between us." Edward's voice rang with disgust and I knew it was at himself.

"And you made sure she found out," I finished, feeling almost sorry for him, even though I knew Rosalie would have me drawn and quartered if she ever found out I sympathized with the man who'd made sure her heart broke.

"Worse," Edward sighed, "I contrived it so that she caught them. In the act itself."

"That's terrible," I exclaimed, unable to help myself.

"I know, I know. Believe me, I've spent years trying to make it up to him, but it's never helped. When I saw Rosalie's name in that realty directory I knew the reason why it's never worked is because I'd been neglecting the one thing that would really exonerate me: Rosalie herself."

"You want to get them back together," I guessed, leaning back in my chair and crossing my arms over my chest. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea. Rosalie hates Emmett. The very thought of him makes her miserable."

Edward leaned forward, his green eyes mesmerizing me with their intensity. "That's exactly it. They're still in love. Deep down, they still want each other. Emmett casually dates a long list of airheads. I bet you Rosalie's done the same. Anything but get emotionally involved again, because they already _are _emotionally-involved. Except it's with each other." Edward smiled conspiratorially at me and I felt my reluctance beginning to melt, but I still had a few question marks.

"I don't know how you possibly expect me to help you. Rosalie's my best friend, but she's incredibly independent and self-reliant. She'll help you find a building but she'll be cold as ice and resistant to any ploy of yours to even bring Emmett into the equation."

"Ah, but that's where my plan comes in," Edward grinned, his smile hopelessly cocky and confident. In the darkest reaches of the night, I could only wish that I was this self-assured. He had no idea how jealous I was of him.

"It better be one heck of a plan."

"Oh, it is," Edward boasted. I rolled my eyes and questioningly raised my eyebrow.

"Alice and Jasper."

I had to admit, out of every missile he could have thrown my direction, this was so out of left field that I could only gape at him.

"What do Alice and Jasper have to do with this?"

Edward only laughed at the incredulity in my tone. "Two birds with one stone, my dear Bella. Two birds with one stone."

"I still don't see what getting Alice and Jasper has to do with Emmett and Rosalie." I knew I was probably being thick but obviously my mind didn't work in the same Machiavellian way that Edward's did.

He sighed and his voice as he explained was patient, but there was definitely a tinge of impatience in it. "Alice and Jasper will be in on it. We'll tell them that we're trying to push Rosalie and Emmett into closer quarters, so they'll have to pretend to be dating. Falling in love. And we'll tell Emmett and Rosalie the opposite. That Alice and Jasper are reluctant, and we need their help to facilitate their relationship."

It was then I realized that Edward Cullen wasn't just Machiavellian, he was Machiavelli reincarnate.

Yet, I couldn't deny that I was still skeptical. It seemed a very complex plan that had very little chance of actually succeeding. Rosalie was very smart and naturally suspicious.

My brow furrowed and Edward laughed. "Silly Bella. When is the one time that both Rosalie and Alice let go of their own cautionary reluctance?"

I didn't even have to say it was when they were trying to help someone they loved. Alice and Rosalie would go to the ends of the earth to help one other. They would fall for this hook, line and sinker. Maybe Edward's plan wasn't as far-fetched as I thought it was. Despite that, he did need someone in on it. His reasons for coming to me were becoming clearer and clearer and in that moment I knew I would do anything Edward wanted if only he could somehow bring Jasper and Emmett Cullen back into my best friends' lives. Alice and Rosalie deserved the happiness they'd been denied. For such a reward, I decided, they wouldn't mind a little bit of manipulation.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author Note:**

First of all, thank you for all your amazing reviews! Thanks also to Tamelaine, my awesome beta, who reassured me that no, this chapter is not too angsty. I know I keep saying the romantic comedy is coming, and it really is. I promise.

In this chapter I really start throwing out the Portland landmarks. Well, more than just landmarks. Portland City Grill is a real restaurant, and it's awesome. They do have a really excellent happy hour, and their lemon drops are to die for. Trust is a real lounge in the Pearl District, and my boyfriend's friend is the chef there. Really great tapas, and _yes _the drinks are strong. I found that out the hard way one night last November. Which is how I found out that the tapas are really good lol. They also have excellent hummus. But the moral of the story is that yes, I do live in Portland. I have lived there my entire life. So, I figure this is a good opportunity to inject as much reality into the story as possible. From here on out, it's safe to assume that every place they go in the Pacific Northwest is real. I'll try to add links to my profile page, but I'm notoriously bad with making sure they work correctly. If one breaks, could you let me know? Thanks.

As for the trivia contest, here it goes. While I was writing Turning Dust into Gold_, _I purposefully included a few ideas, phrases, character traits, etc that are direct references to Stephenie Meyer's Twilight canon. Obviously, since this is a all-human AU story, much of her canon goes out the window. These references were my tributes to the original canon, so to say. I'm sure there are more subconscious ones that I've done that I don't even realize. Your job is to put together as complete a list as possible. I won't count "wrong" ones against your list, so to be safe, I'd put everything down that you even suspect. PM me your lists and the reader with the most complete list will win the prize. What's the prize, you ask? It's a two part prize. I will answer one question, at any time during the writing of the story or after it's completed. I will also rewrite any scene/chapter in a different character's POV. This would be a good thing for those of you who are clamoring for any of the male POV's. Keep in mind this is not a prize you need to cash in now--anytime you want is fine.

In any case, this long rambling Author Note is over and you can enjoy the chapter! Chapter 8 is actually almost done, so that should be posted soon, I promise, and it's a lot more light-hearted.

* * *

RPOV

I had just climbed into bed after finishing my nightly beauty routine (after all, it's never too early to start caring about skin elasticity), when I heard the knock on my window.

Normally, having someone knock on my window in the middle of the night would be enough to send me toward my closet and the bat that still lingered there from my softball-playing middle school years. Instead, I knew, deep down, that I was safe. I was in no physical danger from the man at the window, but for damn sure I was in emotional danger.

I climbed out of bed, and opened the window, shivering involuntarily at the blast of cold air that hit me.

"Have you lost your mind?" I barked at him in a whisper. I might be thrilled to see him, but I wasn't going to let him know that. Let him think that he was crazy to show up at my window at eleven at night.

Emmett just smiled back, cocky as ever. He even looked comfortable perched in the big branch that ran parallel to my window. I'd long understood the benefits of having a large tree outside my bedroom window, but I'd never personally taken advantage of it.

I folded my arms over my chest and glared. "You'd better go before my dad finds out you're here and kills you," I hissed, voice rising in volume.

"So are you coming with me or not?" Emmett's voice taunted me with its deep seductive tone. I could tell he didn't think I was actually going to climb out the window and follow him, but I couldn't blame him for that. I didn't think I was going to climb out the window either.

Who was I kidding? I was dying to go with him. He was practically calling the heart out of my body. But did I dare? I knew I would be safe with him, but for all the vaunted talk of risky, self-reliant and independent behavior, I never really acted out. Chances were that I was more boring than most of the other girls at school.

"Of course I'm coming," I shot back. I couldn't let him know how truly painfully normal I was. Let him think the promise of risk-taking that I carried with me wasn't just a tease. With him it wouldn't be just a fantasy, it would be reality. "Let me just get my coat and some shoes."

"Dress warmly," he warned, "it's cold out here."

"Really? In Forks? How astounding." My sarcasm was readily apparent and Emmett, instead taking offense, just smiled broadly. He took such joy out of life, even out of the smallest things, that it was hard to stay on top of my game when I was with him. I wanted to drop all pretenses and wallow in the same lust of life he had. Or maybe I just wanted to wallow in plain lust. I wasn't sure yet.

I scurried around my room, slipping on a pair of sneakers and zipping up my North Face fleece jacket.

When I appeared back at the window Emmett didn't even bother to hide his reaction.

"You look like you've gained a hundred pounds," he guffawed.

I shot him the most evil glare in my arsenal. "You take that back. You wanted me to stay warm. How else was I supposed to do that?"

His blue eyes surveyed me slowly and deliberately from head to foot. I wore a sweatshirt under my jacket and matching gray sweatpants that were at least a size too big. I'd smashed a knit cap over my ears and quickly twisted my long blond hair into a low ponytail. I had a good idea that I looked vaguely overdressed, but I wasn't about to lose any fingers or toes to frostbite just to satisfy some ridiculous fashion ideal.

Emmett gave a quick nod of approval. "At least you'll stay warm," he replied, pausing briefly before he continued, his voice low and serious, "though I was planning on doing the job of about half your clothes."

My stomach plummeted to my shoes and I think my jaw dropped. He was able to transition so quickly from Jovial Emmett to Seductive Emmett that I couldn't seem to keep up. I was definitely going to have to step up my game and throw him some loops of my own.

Emmett began to shuffle down the tree, unable to hide the gloat that was blossoming over his handsome face. I refused to let him see that he'd gotten to me or that I was scared of climbing down the tree.

Because god, I was terrified to climb down that damn tree. If only I could just get past the climbing part and go straight to the heavy making out with Emmett part. Unfortunately, as I looked out the window at Emmett's nimble form easily negotiating the branches to the ground, that didn't seem to be in the cards.

"Emmett," I stuttered, hopelessly trying to keep the tremor out of my voice, "you're going to be down there when you know. . .I come down. . .right"

I heard his echoing laughter coming up from the dark abyss that greeted my dismayed eyes. "You're not scared, are you"

Oh, he was definitely challenging me. And if there was one thing I couldn't do, it was back down from such a clearly-issued challenge. Emmett must have known that, because he laughed again, louder this time, and there was a momentary heart-stopping worry that my parents or Alice were going to hear him.

"Hush," I nearly shrieked out the window, towards the disambiguous voice, "I'm coming down. So you better be ready."

I sent up a quick prayer, and hoisted myself up onto the sill, swinging my legs around until they dangled out the open window.

In that moment, looking at the two story distance to the ground, that I wished I'd been more a tomboy as a girl and this wasn't my first experience climbing a tree. But, I reasoned with myself, at least this would be a memorable date with Emmett. If you could call sneaking out on a school night, climbing down a tree, and whatever else we were going to do a date. At 11 PM at night, there wasn't much going on around Forks. Secretly, I hoped he took me somewhere nice and private and we could continue the amazing kiss we'd started a week ago and hadn't yet finished.

Taking a deep breath, I slid one sneaker-clad foot onto the branch. Thankfully this tree was really sturdy—at least it looked sturdy. It had held Emmett after all, and he was certainly a lot bigger than I was.

My other foot joined the first and with one hand I grasped an upper branch and with the other pushed myself off the window sill. The tree jiggled a little and I felt my heart stuttering, but then I heard Emmett's reassuring voice promising me that I would be fine, if I could just manage to swallow my pansy ass nerves and get my butt down the tree. This is why I found him so refreshing. No other man would have even dared say that to me, but with Emmett, it seemed natural and real. No faking, no play-acting. Just the two of us being real and true to ourselves.

I was so caught up in this new thought that I didn't even notice I'd reached the ground until I felt both feet hit the dirt and Emmett fling his arms around my middle to steady me.

My breath whooshed out, as a reaction to the adrenaline rush I felt both from the climb down the tree and from Emmett's body being so close to mine. I closed my eyes and let myself drift even closer to him. He'd been right: he was extremely warm, and I basked in the way that his body heat leaked into me. Then his hand slipped up brush the side of my face and I forgot to think at all.

He spoke again and it was directly into my ear, tickling me. "That was your first tree, wasn't it?

I nodded, snuggling into him further, loving the way that we fit together. I'd never known that just being close to another human being could feel his good. We belonged.

Emmett chuckled and I felt the vibrations though the top of my head, where his chin rested. "You are the most adorable, most unpredictable creature," he whispered into my ear again.

I stepped away from him, immediately feeling the loss, but knowing we couldn't spend much longer in my parents' backyard.

"So where are you taking me?"

"Who said I was taking you anywhere?" His expression was pure innocence, but I knew better.

I lifted an eyebrow and sent him a single look. Even for me, he relented pretty quickly.

"It's a surprise. My car's down the street," he said, indicating the direction with a broad sweep of his hand that I almost missed because it was so dark. Still, I thought, as I looked upwards, it was a lovely, if cold, night for Forks. The sky was miraculously clear, and the stars shone like diamonds in the velvety dark blue sky.

We took off walking toward his car, which turned out to be a lifted and tricked out forest green Jeep Wrangler.

"A Jeep?" I inquired, more than a little surprised. He'd definitely showed a marked preference for sleek speed machines when we'd worked together earlier in the garage. It appeared that I was learning about another layer of Emmett.

"Carlisle doesn't let me drive the cars everyday," Emmett replied sheepishly, unlocking my door and giving me a quick hand up.

"He doesn't let you drive them," I stated incredulously as soon as he was seated next to me.

Emmett turned to me, huge grin on his face. "Too many tickets. I drive just too fast for Dad's comfort, I guess. He's been convinced that the Jeep, being heavier, restricts me."

As Emmett gunned up the engine, I was in serious doubt of that. This Wrangler, like all of Emmett's other cars, was certainly beefed up a significant amount. To top it off, it was also pretty sweet looking, with the beautiful green paint and lots and lots of shiny silver four-wheeling accessories. I did note with some trepidation that the silver, however, was not brand new. This Jeep had been four-wheeling, and more than once.

Emmett was taking the corners faster than probably Carlisle knew he could, and I decided to keep my question to myself, but I did note that we were definitely headed to the highway that led up into the mountains. Please, I prayed, don't let him take me hiking or four-wheeling in the dark and the cold. Just not tonight.

Fifteen minutes later, Emmett pulled onto a side road that could probably be better called a "track," and the wheels spun briefly before they caught on the gravel. He was a good driver though, obviously very experienced, and I felt safe with him despite his speedy and somewhat risky driving. Being an accomplished driver myself, there were very few people I trusted to take risks while operating a moving vehicle. Emmett had passed the test with flying colors, but then he had passed every single one of my tests thus far, which was terrifying all on its own.

The road was bumpy and the gravel soon gave way to dirt. When I shot Emmett another dirty look, he reassured me that we would get there soon, and before his voice had even died in the small space, we were pulling into a large clearing. The Jeep's high beams cut a huge swath of light and I glimpsed something I couldn't believe.

"Is that the ocean?"

Emmett nodded smugly.

I'm sure the despair was evident in my voice. "You brought me fishing?" I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry or beat him. Maybe both. I looked away, toward the door, and tried to school my expression to show neither desire. I didn't want him to know how strongly he affected me. At least, not yet.

"Rosalie." Emmett reached one hand over and forced my head to turn toward his. "Do you really think I would take you fishing? That's the last thing I would ever want to do with you, after sneaking you out of your house."

"Then what are we doing here?" I asked, doubt still lingering.

Emmett smiled, and my heart stuttered. When I was looking at him, it was difficult to forget how very close we were. Our shoulders nearly brushed, and it would take only a subtle movement from either of us for our lips to touch. I would be lying if I said I didn't want that to happen very _very _badly.

"We, Rosalie," Emmett said, his voice dropping to a sexy, seductive whisper, sending my heart into further convulsions, "are here to enjoy the majestic scenery. And each other."

I had to physically force myself to subdue the shiver that went up my spine at his words.

Emmett turned the Jeep off, and with the rumbling engine silent, I realized just how alone we were. Everything was dark and very quiet.

"I'm going to take the top off," Emmett said and opened his door. It was even colder out here, next to the ocean, and I hoped that he would keep his promise to keep me warm when he returned from folding down the ragtop.

Emmett climbed back into the Jeep and casually flung an arm around me. I didn't need any more prodding; I snuggled close, delighted at the feel of him so close to me. His head swooped toward my neck, and I remembered that I didn't have the protection of my hair. Sure enough, I felt his breath on my neck, the hot air fuzzing my thought processes.

His head moved a bit higher and he whispered into my ear, "Rose, look up."

I let my head tip back on the headrest and I couldn't hold back my shocked gasp. The stars were shining so intensely in the dark sky, that as my eyes adjusted to the low level of light, I realized it wasn't as dark as I thought it was. It was just dark enough that we could barely see the cliff ahead of us, and the ocean crashing hundreds of feet down. The romance of the place was unmistakable. My heart, already thumping madly, did an extra catapult as I felt his lips return to my neck.

"Rosalie," Emmett breathed, and I knew exactly what he wanted, and for one second I felt my normally brave nature quail. He wanted me to kiss him. He'd gotten me alone, and brought me to this amazing place. His feelings were clear, and this time, he wanted me to capitulate to him—to prove my feelings were as real as his. His lips travelled up and down the line of my neck, barely touching the skin there, but making me melt and want all in the same moment.

I took an unsteady breath and turned my head, my eyes meeting his. I couldn't make a funny, sarcastic quip here to protect myself and my feelings. The wall I'd erected so long ago was going to have to come down, and though I desperately wanted it to fall, I still found it incredibly difficult to breach when it came down to my actions alone.

Steeling myself, I let my head drift toward his, and the closer I got, the louder my heart pounded, until it was echoing in my ears. Then I realized it wasn't only my heart, it was his too. He was just as nervous and excited as I was. He just hid it really well. In that split second, I began to have a very good idea of what he meant, and was going to mean, to me in the future, and suddenly, the urge to kiss him wasn't a prospect that filled me with sweaty hands and nerves, it was a prospect I looked forward to. It was something I _wanted_. Desperately.

I closed the last bit of distance between us, and let my lips touch his. Emmett wound his hands around me and pulled me to him, even tighter. It started out soft and cautious, but quickly, the kiss deepened, our tongues mingling. The pleasure spun through me like cotton candy, and I heard myself groan. Apparently, Emmett liked that even more, because, his hands in my hair, he pulled me even closer, never letting my mouth leave his.

I'd had a fair amount of practice kissing and being kissed, but nothing could really have prepared me for the onslaught of pleasure and need that coursed through me when Emmett's lips met mine. His hands, which started in my hair, were soon learning the feel of my back and sides, slowly yet passionately caressing me and I shivered, despite the many layers of clothing I wore. I wondered what it would feel like without the extra bulk.

Finally, we broke apart in a shocked gasp. I was breathing heavily, and I suppose he was to, but I couldn't even tell, because as soon as his lips left mine, they were drunkenly tracing a path down my neck and back up again. I arched into him and this time the sound came out of his mouth.

"God Rosalie," he ground out. I couldn't really speak at that particular moment but I was sure that any words I uttered would be somewhat close to that sentiment.

Because really, there was nothing to say with words that we couldn't say as well with our bodies, our lips met again and unbelievably, this kiss was even more passionate than the last. When it finally ended, I noticed that a throbbing pain was coming from my knee. I looked down and realized that I had nearly climbed the gearshift to get closer to Emmett.

He was sitting back in his seat, breath coming in short gasps, and looking extremely pleased with himself, and the expression in his blue eyes nearly undid me. This man wanted me—really wanted me, if what I'd felt during our last kiss was any indication—but there was a respectful affection and caring evident in his gaze. He hadn't dragged me out tonight in an attempt to seduce me. Not that he would mind, I was sure, but that wasn't the only reason we were out here. He wanted to spend time with _me_, not just my body.

I threw my arms around him, hoping he wouldn't see the happy tears that sprang in my eyes at this thought. It felt like I had waited forever to find him, and now that I had I was never going to let him go.

His arms went around me, and I felt his hands stroking my back and then my hair. Then, almost as a benediction or a blessing, I heard him murmur, "Rosalie," and I knew I could trust my heart to him, just as it tumbled into his lap.

"Rosalie? Rosalie? ROSALIE!"

The voice breached, unexpected and unasked for, the thoughts of my favorite memory. For a split second, I tried to hold onto the night, and onto the feeling of Emmett's arms around me, but I knew it was hopeless. They were both already lost.

I looked up into the eyes of my assistant and tried, desperately, to clear my eyes of the wispy, bittersweetness I knew was there. This was why I never thought of Emmett. At least, why I never thought of Emmett at work. I wanted nobody to know how truly vulnerable I was, especially now that I was going to have to do business with him.

Linda walked further into my office and she looked nervous. I wasn't surprised. I never daydreamed. I hoped she hadn't been standing there for very long, because I had a pretty good idea what kind of feelings had been drifting across my face.

Despite that particular memory being one of my favorites of Emmett, I rarely relived it because it just hurt too damn much. It reminded me of everything I'd lost. Of everything I'd freely given away.

"Yes?" I crossed my legs behind my desk and hoped my voice sounded professional and in control. I knew what my employees thought of me: a hardened, jaded ballbuster. The last thing I wanted to do at this point was to give them the impression that I was softening.

"Bella's on the line. You said you didn't want to be disturbed, but she wouldn't take no for an answer."

"Good," I replied curtly, hoping that my demeanor now would make up for anything Linda had seen earlier. "Put her through."

She gave a quick nod and was out the door.

I breathed a quiet sigh of relief, and shook my head quickly, in an attempt to clear the last of the despair, the bitterness and the potent lust out of my head. I couldn't let Bella hear any of that in my voice, as she'd recognize it a lot easier than Linda and she'd know exactly why it was there, too. In the last forty-eight hours, as much as I loved Bella, she'd learned way too much about my past. There were certain things that just needed to stay buried.

The phone rang. I picked it up quickly. "Bella."

"Rose, I hope I'm not bothering you."

"Oh, no. My staff just has very strict instructions. I'm glad you were persistent. I'll have to put you on the list of people who always get through."

"I'm not already on that list?" she laughed, a carefree and happy sound that I knew I couldn't emulate right now. The pain was just too close to the surface. I never should have deliberately unearthed that particular memory. I knew better than to do that.

"What can I say, I've been remiss," I quipped back. Sarcastic and witty comments I could handle, but if Bella said one heartfelt or sweet thing I was going to dissolve into tears. That couldn't happen. I had to find out what she wanted and get her off the phone so I could somehow compose myself.

"I was wondering if you wanted to meet for a drink after work," Bella asked, and her tone, I had to give her credit, was completely casual. Naturally, I suspected that she was going to go on the offensive about Emmett and his brothers, but there was no way I was going to let that happen. Still, there was no harm in meeting her away from Alice, and dissuading her once and for all.

"Of course." Neither of us mentioned that Alice wasn't going to be invited, but it was right there, in the dead air.

"Portland City Grill? Seven-thirty?" Bella had a business-like demeanor that I'd both cultivated and envied. She'd certainly taken off in her career, and I couldn't take even part of the credit, though I had certainly given her enough advice in the beginning.

"Perfect," I replied. "I'll see you there."

"Great. See you then." I heard the click off and breathed a deep sigh of relief. Now I'd have a good three hours to really clear my mind of Emmett and any effect he'd had on me before I met Bella. She would never have to know I'd practically been back with him in that moonlight-drenched cliff, in his Jeep, in his arms. She'd never know and I would never tell her.

* * *

Portland City Grill was on the thirtieth floor of the US Bank Tower in downtown Portland. It was swanky and classy and held the best happy hour for trendy and professional singles in the downtown area. One of our favorite places to go, I was glad that Bella had chosen it. We could slip into a corner and I could firmly and clearly dissuade her from whatever plan she'd concocted. If she thought I hadn't figured out why she wanted me to continue to work with the Cullen brothers, she was insane. I was a hell of a lot smarter than that.

Bella was already in one of the quieter areas of the bar when I walked in. Obviously we were on the same page, and I felt my nerves begin to untangle just a little. Maybe this wouldn't be so difficult after all.

"Bel," I greeted her, hugging her quickly. She sat back down and smoothed out her black slacks.

"I've already ordered," she said, and gave me a quick smile.

"Great. Fantastic. I'm starving and I could really use a drink."

"I thought so," Bella confided, leaning closer to the small table. I stupidly looked behind her, and instantly regretted agreeing to meet here. The floor to ceiling windows reflected the amazing view of downtown Portland slowly descending into twilight. Just what I needed: an additional reminder of that night, when I was trying so hard to leave it behind.

"How was your day?" I asked her. This conversation needed to get back on track. The last thing I wanted to do was have Bella start offering her reasons for why I might need a drink.

"Good. I had an interesting meeting."

Meetings. Good. Keep things on a business level. Bella and I both enjoyed discussing what was going on with our jobs. We were both of a professional bent and enjoyed our respective careers. Alice might roll her eyes at our serious choice of topics, but then she wasn't here.

"It was with Edward Cullen."

Our drinks had just arrived and I'd reached for mine, and taken a sip before the portentous significance of that statement could hit me.

I choked.

"Why," I ground out as soon as I recovered, "were you meeting with Edward Cullen?" I had a feeling that desperation and despair were warring on my face because Bella's expression had turned downright sympathetic.

"Rosalie." Bella started, then paused. "Edward picked you out of that directory for a reason, obviously. But the reason isn't you and Emmett, believe it or not." Bella toyed with her lime, and I wanted to throw myself across the tiny black lacquered table and drag it out of her physically. Didn't she see that I was over here, dying of curiosity? Just dying, in general?

Finally, Bella continued, her voice strangely subdued. "Edward picked you because of Jasper. And Alice."

I think my jaw dropped and I was only conscious of a voice in my head chanting "no, no, no. . ." over and over. Before Bella could even continue, I knew exactly what she was going to say, and I knew I was going to hate and loathe and detest every word of it, but like Bella already knew, there was no way I could possibly say no.

The expression in her eyes was undoing me. Though Bella was always ruing her "boring" brown eyes, they had a depth and a kindness to them that blew me away. In this moment, they were brimming with worry and with love. She wanted to spare me this, but she knew that she couldn't. Never in a million years was I going to be able to say no to what she asked of me.

"You know why, then, that we had to meet without Alice. She can't know that we're doing this for her."

I nodded slowly, my eyes never leaving my glass.

"I'm sorry, Rosalie. I know I just found out about Emmett, but I think I have a pretty good idea of what this will cost you."

She had no idea. Nobody did. Even being in the same room with him yesterday had been hellish. Despite that he'd glowered the whole time, he'd still tauntingly called my heart out of my body. Like always. I'd given up on his presence losing its effectiveness. There was always something in me that was going to want and need something in him. I only regretted that he couldn't feel something of the same.

I took a deep breath. "So we're going to . . .renew our friendship with the Cullens?" I tried desperately to keep my voice neutral on "friendship." Emmett and I had never been just friends. I didn't even know how to begin to try. Maybe with all six of us present, Emmett and I could somehow avoid close contact.

"Edward feels that it's best to go about it that way. Leaving Jasper and Alice up to their own devices would be. . ." Bella trailed off.

"Disastrous," I finished for her. "God knows, when Emmett and I were together in high school, Jasper and Alice hounded each other mercilessly. It was clear to everyone how they felt, but neither of them could see it or acknowledge it."

"Well, somehow that doesn't surprise me," Bella laughed.

With her laugh, the mood had lightened considerably and I vowed to not let my feelings about the matter overshadow the good we were trying to do for my honorary sister. I swallowed my pain and smiled back.

"You know Alice. She's so intuitive about some things, but about men, she's completely hopeless. Now think exponentially. That's how bad it was with Jasper."

Bella laughed again, and the sound was really astoundingly lovely. Several men close by turned their heads to see who it was, and they all kept looking as soon as they saw her. I didn't blame them. Bella had turned into a lovely and confident woman in the six years I'd known her. A thought crossed my mind briefly but I quickly subdued it before it could go any farther. This situation was already complicated enough. Adding Bella and Edward to the mix would be disastrous.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author Note:**

Thanks everyone for your great reviews. Keep it up!

And again, to my great and speedy and amazing beta, tameleine.

Enjoy!

* * *

BPOV

Surprisingly enough, Rosalie hadn't taken my news too badly. Of course, she hadn't been thrilled, but then, she was being forced into close quarters with a man she unwisely never wanted to see again. Anyone could see she was still in love with him. The panic that had risen over her face the moment I dropped my bomb about Alice and Jasper had proved that once and for all.

I knew Alice was going to be a lot tougher nut to crack, and I suddenly regretted the two lemon drops I'd drank at Portland City Grill with Rosalie. I should have stayed sober and clear-headed for this particular meeting, especially considering that Rosalie, wallowing in panic, had eaten everything in sight, leaving only a bite or two for me. I'd intended to walk to Trust, a tiny lounge in the Pearl, to meet Alice, but suddenly a cab seemed like a better idea. I wasn't exactly unsteady on my feet, but I knew with the stilettos I was wearing, five blocks with all that vodka was a bad combination.

I hailed a cab and climbed in. The ride was almost embarrassingly short and the driver looked me over as I got out, probably thinking I was some kind of alcoholic, going from bar to bar. Truth was, I rarely had more than one drink, and I knew I would have to seriously watch my intake at Trust. They made notoriously strong drinks, and if I didn't get some food soon, I was toeing a very fine line between a little bit tipsy and a lot tipsy.

Alice was already sitting at one of the tables when I walked in. It was crowded and busy, just as I'd anticipated, and Alice was nearly bouncing in excitement. She loved Trust and had been extraordinarily eager to meet me, though I had a feeling that her eagerness had a lot more to do with what she wanted to discuss regarding Rose than Trust's cocktail menu and yummy tapas.

I sat down, after giving Alice a quick hug and peck on the cheek, and her gray eyes were enormous with excitement.

"This was a perfect idea, Bel. I couldn't have planned it better myself," Alice exclaimed and I had to mentally disagree with her. I should have kept myself to one drink at the Grill and eaten a hell of a lot more.

I leaned over to put my purse by my feet, and I felt myself sway a little. Alice, being observant, noticed.

"Are you okay? You look a little. . .flushed. . ." Alice trailed off, her eyebrow raised questioningly.

"Oh, I just walked from work. It's still pretty warm outside and I had to hurry," I lied, crossing my fingers under the table and praying that Alice, being understandably distracted by the immediate matter at hand, would accept the explanation and move on.

Thankfully, she glossed right over it and began chattering excitedly at me. "This place is amazing, Bel. I'm so glad you picked it. I'm going to get one of everything."

"Of the drinks?" I asked alarmingly, knowing she'd want me to keep up with her.

"No, the food, silly," she laughed. "I'd be passed out under the table if I tried all these."

I wanted to tell her that, from personal experience, she had _exactly _the right attitude.

"Oh, me too," I added, a trifle too enthusiastically. Alice raised one eyebrow at me, over the menu she was perusing.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she enquired, again.

Damn. I'd obviously lost my natural reticence along with my knowledge that I couldn't handle two lemon drops on an empty stomach.

"Of course," I said, and quickly moved onto the subject at hand, hoping that I could distract Alice. "Guess who I met today?"

"Who?" Alice was distracted alright, but the lengthy list of cocktail choices was battling for attention with the admittedly hot waiter who kept sneaking us glances. I breathed a quick sigh of relief.

"Edward Cullen."

At first I thought that my announcement had been lost in the middle of mojitos and tribal tattoos paired with shaggy blond hair, but after about ten seconds, Alice put the menu down and looked at me suspiciously.

"You met with Edward Cullen? Why?"

"He called," I replied. Better to keep it simple, I thought.

"And?" Alice's brows furrowed together and I knew she was running a list in her head of the possible reasons why I would have met with Edward Cullen, and she'd come to the realization that none of them boded well for her.

"You were right," I hedged, thinking that maybe this would pacify her, "he does want to reunite Rosalie and Emmett."

"I knew it!" Alice crowed triumphantly and so loudly that three nearby tables turned their heads to see what had her so excited. She gave all her onlookers a quick dazzling smile and returned her attention to me. I envied Alice her careless confidence and ability to handle and embrace being the center of attention. Someone paid personal attention to me and I could barely manage not to fall to pieces. See my encounter with Edward earlier today. I couldn't have been more awkward even if I'd tried.

"So, what's our gorgeous Edward's plan?" At my confused look, Alice continued. "But, of course he's gorgeous. He was dazzling in high school. I can't imagine what he looks like now. Don't tell me you didn't notice, Bella. What am I going to do with you?" Alice clucked in frustration. She was in fine form; I couldn't even manage to get a word in edgewise today.

"Alice," I interrupted, "yes, he's gorgeous but I don't see what the issue is. And why do you think Edward has a plan?"

Alice tossed me a look that told me I'd better start keeping up or else. "Edward _always _has a plan. At least he used to, and I can't imagine him changing in any significant way. He was practically a grownup in high school. Charming, suave, you know the whole bit." And demonstrating that particular set of characteristics herself, she beamed at the hot waiter, who set down the food and drinks we'd ordered and gave her a wink. I rolled my eyes, and Alice gave me a chiding look.

I didn't need to tell her that Edward had become lethal in the interim. She'd probably already guessed.

"He has a plan," I said, gratefully changing the subject and scooping hummus into my mouth with a triangle of pita bread. I needed to sober up fast because this conversation was traveling rapidly out of my league.

"Good. So what is it?"

I eyed her warily. "You're not going to like it."

"I didn't think I would," Alice responded, a bit tartly. "This is Edward Cullen we're talking about."

"He's decided that the best plan of action is to become friends again, but obviously we'd need a reason for Emmett and Rosalie to go along with that."

Alice was shoveling hummus into her mouth at an alarming rate. I quickly grabbed another piece of pita bread and smeared a big glob on before popping it into my mouth.

"And? I don't know why you're taking so long to tell me this Bella. It's like you're afraid of what I'm going to say." Alice sulkily regarded the almost empty platter and began to peruse the menu again.

I couldn't tell her that I was terrified of what she was going to say, because often, honesty was _not _the best policy with Alice.

"Not at all," I stalled, "actually, I think you'll find it pretty clever. Edward's decided that. . .uh. . .Jasper is going to pursue you. Romantically."

Alice was busy scraping out the last bits of hummus out of the bowl with a piece of pita, and her hand stalled.

"He what?" I didn't think I'd ever seen Alice speechless in my entire life. I figured I should enjoy this while it lasted. Chances were, it wasn't going to continue.

"It was the best idea he could come up with. You know Rosalie would do anything to make you happy."

Alice's lips pursed together like she'd been sucking on a lemon. "You do have a point. Of course, that does not mean I think this is a good plan. It's a terrible, awful, unbearable plan," she hissed. She folded her arms over her chest and her expression was positively belligerent. "If you really think I'm going to sacrifice myself to that . . .that. . .ass. . .your head needs to be examined."

I reached for my gin and tonic and took a long pull. This was exactly what I'd been afraid of.

"Nobody's asking you to 'sacrifice' anything, Alice," I reasoned, hoping that if I was calm, Alice would follow suit. "All you have to do is pretend you like him, and surely that couldn't be so difficult." After all, I added silently, you already do.

Of course, this was too much for Alice to admit. "I do _not _like him," Alice huffed, "and pretending to do so is going to be extremely detrimental to my peace of mind."

I had a feeling that Jasper himself was going to be a lot more detrimental to Alice's peace of mind, but I knew that saying it at this point wasn't going to be all that helpful.

"Well, nobody says you have to do it." My voice was deceptively casual and I'd already turned back to the cocktail menu. Screw sobriety.

Alice huffed again and she was clearly furious. The waiter returned and she pointedly ignored him, but I ordered another gin and tonic with a little bit of a giddy smile. His returning grin was huge, which took me aback. Was I flirting with the waiter? Me, who never did anything like this? This time he gave _me _the wink and took off to get my drink.

When he returned, he leaned down as he set the drink on the table in front of me. "Your friend looks a bit. . .put out. . ." he murmured, glancing over at Alice, who was examining the people walking by outside like they were the most interesting thing on earth.

"She'll get over it," I confided. The combination of vodka and gin had definitely loosened my tongue. For the better, I thought, and decided to run with it. There was no harm in it, after all. I'd never see this man again, and he was _definitely _attractive. Maybe not as attractive as Edward Cullen, but then he was clearly the exception to just about every rule.

"You'd better hope so," he replied, and his voice was silky, "she looks like she could take your head off, even if she is small."

"So you think," I returned, just a bit cockily. This wasn't as hard as I'd always thought it was. I smiled broadly in happiness that I could flirt _too_ and the waiter's sculpted mouth curled into a grin.

"You're a feisty one," he said, turning to go.

"Oh, you have no idea," I carelessly threw his direction as he walked away.

I turned back to Alice, ready to share with her my flirting triumph and she was looking at me with a curious expression on her face.

"Well," she said, "that was interesting." I was confused. I didn't know how that could possibly have been interesting. It was awesome yes, but it was for sure a one time thing. I couldn't exactly go around with my confidence bolstered up with gin and vodka.

"Hmmmmm." I sipped my drink and continued to meet her interested eyes.

"Fine. I'll do it," Alice relented and though she didn't exactly look pleased about it, at least she'd agreed. I sighed in relief. I could report back to Edward that I'd gotten everyone on my end on the same page. Maybe I hadn't been completely honest and straightforward while I'd been doing it, but that was a minor issue, I thought.

* * *

I tried not to stumble out of the building and onto the street. Four drinks and a few bites of tapas later, I was not in good shape, I reasoned. The second drink at Trust had been an extraordinarily bad idea.

Alice had left first, as she had to pick something up at work before heading home. I'd stayed and taken care of the tab before teetering out onto the sidewalk. Now I stood there and wondered what I should do. If I had some more food, I'd be fine. I didn't feel like taking another cab--the booze had done its trick and I was feeling invincible and on top of the world. Stiletto heels be damned, I was going to walk uptown, find some food, and go home.

I started off down the sidewalk and decided now was as good of a time as any to call Edward and tell him my good news, at least before my false courage wore off. I looked down at my cell phone as I dialed his number, and was gratified to see that my hands weren't shaking with any nerves. I knew that if I hadn't ingested all that alcohol, I'd have been a nervous wreck right about now.

Edward answered on the third ring--just long enough for me to wish that I hadn't been quite so eager to get him on the phone. I hadn't thought through our conversation at all, which was one of my favorite tricks for presenting a cool, calm and collected front. Unfortunately, cool, calm or collected didn't seem to be in the cards right now.

"Bella. You have good news for me?"

His voice was so damn sexy, I nearly dropped the phone. Then maybe I also dropped it because my stiletto heel got momentarily stuck in a crack in the sidewalk.

"Edward. . ." I stuttered, wishing he had some other, shorter, less intimidating name to use. "Good news, yes." I ended the awkward sentence with a rather high pitched giggle.

"Are you okay?" His voice was concerned, and damn him, I found that almost sexier than when he was trying to be charming.

Why did everyone keep asking me if I was okay? I was fine. Having a few drinks didn't give every single person in my life permission to interrogate me and my _fineness_.

"I'm fine," I nearly growled into the phone. "I'm just walking uptown to find some food. I met Rosalie at Portland City Grill and Alice at Trust."

"Ah." The single syllable apparently said it all for Edward. I, however, was left in the dark.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Only that you've obviously been imbibing."

"Have I?" I tried to make my voice sound as innocent as possible, except it ended up coming out as seductive as I'd ever sounded in my life. I nearly collapsed to the sidewalk in embarrassment. Flirting with the waiter at Trust was one thing. Flirting with Edward Cullen was entirely another.

He laughed, a rich full sound that managed to jump start my heart again.

"Bella, Bella, Bella. You are really something else. Where are you?"

"I already told you. I'm walking to my car. And finding some food."

"I'm downtown too. Why don't we meet up?"

"Meet?"

"You need food, I need food. Why don't we . . .satisfy . . .our urges together?"

I nearly stopped breathing and blushed bright red. Thank goodness he was on the phone because I didn't want him to see the bumbling mess he'd made of me with his flirtation.

"You're downtown?"

"Well. Technically I'm at the Good Samaritan ER on 23rd." Edward chuckled ruefully and I had a feeling there was a story there.

"What happened?"

"How about I strike a bargain with you? You let me buy you dinner and I'll tell you the story in return. Where are you?"

"I'm on Everett in the North Park blocks. But wait. . ."

"Good. Excellent. I'll see you in ten minutes. Just stay right there."

"But. . ." I said to what I soon realized was dead air. He had already hung up. Gah. What was it about men and telling women what to do like they knew best? Oh well, nothing else to do but sit and wait for him. Calling him again would look extremely gauche. Better just to endure his heavy-handedness and call him on it when he showed up.

I looked around, trying to find a place to sit where I wouldn't completely ruin the outrageously expensive black slacks that Alice had convinced me to buy. There was what looked to be a bench on the other side of the block, so I trudged over, still annoyed that Edward had invited himself into _my _evening.

Brushing off the seat first, I gingerly sat down and hoped that I wouldn't get too dirty. Considering Mr. I'm Too Sexy and Charming's overall demeanor, I was sure he'd take me somewhere that was intended to impress me. I would have to watch my behavior and manners impeccably. The thought did not fill me anticipation, even with the added benefit of being able to look straight into those incredible green eyes all through dinner.

True to his word, eight minutes later, a taxi pulled up and Edward jumped out.

Unfortunately, in the interim, I'd managed to sober up just a tad, and as soon as I saw his large form, I cursed myself for letting him talk me into this. The prospect of having dinner with him with the glow of four drinks in me was one thing. Having dinner with him as I sobered up was a different matter entirely.

I stood up and walked over to the taxi. "Hi," I said shortly, hoping that somehow I could make it through this evening without embarrassing myself too fully.

"Sobering up I see," he chuckled, and I shot him with a glare that I was sure Rosalie would have been proud of.

Edward opened the door, and I somewhat gratefully slid into the taxi. Not that I would ever tell him I was grateful. He was an overbearing ass who was taking advantage of me. I fully expected to have a terrible time, stammering and stuttering and never knowing what to say in some fancy restaurant where I didn't recognize half the ingredients on the menu.

He slipped in beside me, and I leaned back in my seat, momentarily stunned _again _by how good he smelled. He was still wearing the suit from this morning, but the jacket was flung haphazardly on the seat between us, the pinstriped shirt wasn't nearly as fresh and crisp as I'd seen it earlier today, and he'd loosened his tie. I felt a little gratified to know that he didn't always look picture perfect, because I had a pretty good idea of how rough I looked. My hair was probably windblown and messy. My makeup was likely all gone, and I didn't even want to contemplate the state of my clothes.

Edward looked over and smiled at me. "Shall we go somewhere. . .let's say. . .a little bit more casual?"

I could only gape as he gave directions to the Rogue Public House, which was probably my all-time favorite restaurant. How had he _known _that? The whole taxi ride there, the only cogent thought that revolved through my brain was that I had somehow stunningly and completely miscalculated how good he was, and I was in deep, _deep _trouble.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author Note: **Thanks to Stephenie Meyer for coming up with such fascinating characters, and yes, there are some similiarites, despite how OOC they seem sometimes.

Thanks also to my awesome beta, tamelaine.

Enjoy! And please don't forget to read and review! You guys really do keep me writing!

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BPOV

By the time we reached the Rogue Public House I felt both better and worse. Better because the lightheaded feeling had passed and I knew I was sobering up. Worse because without the comforting glow of alcohol, I was beginning to panic.

Edward had remained quiet almost the whole ride to the restaurant, only making some casual small talk, and thankfully, I had managed to reply to his questions without embarrassing myself. I knew that as soon as we were sitting across from each other at dinner, that was going to change.

Taking some deep breaths as we got out of the cab and Edward quickly paid the driver, I refused to send myself off into a panic attack by wondering if this was or was not a date. I'd just go with the natural assumption that no, he had not asked me out. We were simply two co-conspirators in a naturally complex plan who were in the same place, at the same time, and had a mutual need to eat dinner. That was all.

Besides, I didn't like suave and charming men. I liked straightforward and honest men. Men who didn't make you feel like you were melting into the floor when they simply looked at you. Alice and Rosalie might say I liked unimpressive men, but I liked to think of it as more. . .comfortable. Edward Cullen was definitely not comfortable, and that was why, I told myself as we walked into the restaurant, this was not a date. This was merely a business meeting.

Further proving my point, and relaxing me even further, was the waitress who showed up at our table the moment we sat down. Clearly, she'd spotted the gorgeous Mr. Cullen from across the room and had busted her butt to make it to our table as quickly as possible. She was young, maybe in her early 20s, and lean, blond and curvaceous, and unsurprisingly, her name was Tiffany. Basically, my basic nightmare, but in this particular situation, though I was fundamentally and understandably jealous, I was actually glad he didn't shut down her flirtation. If we'd been on a date, I knew without a doubt that he wouldn't have tolerated her overt friendliness.

Finally she left, and I leaned back in the high backed booth and let out a sigh of contentment. My question about whether this was a date or not was answered and I felt comfortable to be myself. There was no need to impress him, and I was eternally grateful because I honestly didn't think I could.

"I come here all the time," I confided to him over the antique wood tabletop. "It's one of my favorite places to go."

"Really? And here I took you for one of those classy, nose-in-the-air gourmet girls."

"Did you know, according to the Oregonian, 76 of women feel that sarcasm is an unattractive trait in a man?" I smiled sweetly at him, innocence personified. "Just letting you know, so that when Blondie comes back, you can make sure to avoid it."

It was amazing to me, really, how comfortable I felt as soon as I knew that Edward wasn't interested. Maybe I should only go out with guys who weren't interested in me. I'd probably have a better time all around.

Edward's brows shot together and he drummed his fingers on the table. "I was really hoping you wouldn't be a pain in the ass like your friends Rosalie and Alice, but it appears that I was wrong." Instead of looking perturbed at my behavior, though, it appeared that he was trying to hold back a smile. Good. I amused him. I was entertaining. That was fine, as long as he kept his flirtations restricted to the waitress.

"Just because I made things easy on you earlier today doesn't mean that the pattern is going to continue," I hissed good naturedly at him, as the waitress sauntered back to the table to set down our drinks.

I watched as she again turned up the charm, and while he definitely didn't shut her down, he wasn't exactly charming back. Still, my mind was made up. I was off Edward's market, and as much as a tiny piece of my heart cringed, I told myself that it was easier this way. If I was going to do this to help Rosalie and Alice, I needed to learn how to be comfortable with him.

Tiffany finally left and I couldn't help rolling my eyes. Maybe some women were okay being so ridiculously and ostentatiously forward, but I had a sneaking feeling that most guys that were worth the effort found such behavior unattractive.

Edward was clearly in the minority though, as he decided not to acknowledge Tiffany's behavior or my eye roll. Instead he broached a subject I'd nearly forgotten about.

"Didn't you want to hear why I was in the ER? Or was that simply a ploy to get me to buy your dinner?"

"Oh!" I exclaimed, remembering what he'd told me on the phone, "what happened?"

Edward sighed, and leaned back against the booth. "I told Emmett about our plan."

"And?" I asked, puzzled.

"And he was upset," Edward said, and pushed a hand through his mussy bronze hair. I felt my heart stutter but I firmly and promptly pushed away any jealousy I had toward his hand. I wanted to be the one messing up his hair, I told myself, before I could muzzle the thought.

"Rosalie was upset too, but that certainly didn't send her to the ER," I countered, knowing I was interrupting and not caring because I had to do something to offset the sudden wave of lust I was having. I hated how attractive he was and even more, I hated my own reaction to it.

"You are the damndest female, you know that?"

I tried not to take offense to that, but I couldn't help myself. "What is that supposed to mean?" I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Nothing. Nothing." I sent him a quick glare and he repeated himself again. "Bella, really, there's no reason to take offense. I'm just trying to tell you what happened and you won't let me."

"Won't let you?" I heard a definite thread of annoyance snaking its way through my voice, and I didn't try to censor it. This man had no idea how truly infuriating he was. "I asked you to tell me!"

"So let me tell you!" Edward's green eyes flashed at me and I couldn't help but feel exhilarated. He might be exasperating, but I hadn't had this much fun bickering with someone in a long time.

"Fine." I took a sip of water and sat back again, ready to listen to whatever it was he was trying to tell me. If he could ever get to the damn point.

"Emmett was upset. There was some yelling." I raised an eyebrow at his choice of words. "Okay, there was a lot of yelling. And the next thing I knew, Emmett had his fist through the wall."

"Emmett punched a wall?" I squeaked.

Edward leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and rubbing his face with his hands. "Yes."

"Is he okay?"

"Bella," Edward said, with as much aggravating patience as he could, "he punched a wall."

"Yes, I know that. So what, is his hand broken? His wrist?" I snapped back.

Edward sighed. "Unfortunately, neither. Apparently his skin is like granite. He just has some deep bruising and some swelling. And a cracked rib."

That made no sense. "I thought you said he punched a wall."

"He did," Edward said breezily, taking a large drink of beer.

"Then I have to confess, I don't understand whyhe has a cracked rib." I leaned forward and met his eyes. "You're going to have to explain."

"Believe me, Bella, I want to," he said, his voice softening as he too leaned forward.

"So?"

"I punched him."

"You're kidding." I looked at him with what was surely a flabbergasted expression. The neat, charming and GQ-cover model Edward had punched Emmett? The side he'd presented to me, at least, seemed incapable of violence. He wouldn't need to be nearly so brutish to accomplish what he wanted. Of course, his natural charm probably didn't work as well with his brothers as it worked with Tiffany.

"He wouldn't stop screeching like a girl."

I rolled my eyes at him. "He'd just punched a wall. I think he'd be entitled to a few shrieks," I said with a light teasing voice.

"A few yes. Not ten minutes worth. Oh good," Edward said, his eyes lighting on Tiffany and sending my stomach sinking to the floor again, "our food's here."

We mostly ate in silence, at least after Tiffany left and took her inane giggling with her. I savored my crab cakes and didn't want anything to disturb my concentration.

Nearly done with them, I looked up and caught Edward observing me. "What?" I asked, "do I have something on my face?"

"No," he said slowly. "You just. . .attacked those poor crab cakes."

I felt myself go on the defensive. "I was hungry and I like food. Do you have a problem with that?" I told myself he was probably unused to women eating in his presence. The women in his life probably existed off air and romaine lettuce.

"No," he responded "that isn't . . .that wasn't. . .oh nevermind. It's just nice to see a woman enjoy her meal. I'm glad you liked it."

I was barely refraining from licking my plate; of course I had enjoyed it.

"Thank you," I allowed, trying to be gracious. It wasn't everyday that an extremely attractive man, no matter how antagonistic he was, offered to buy me a meal at my favorite restaurant.

"You're welcome." Edward grinned at me, and I felt like I had somehow lost control of this conversation, this encounter, and of my heartbeat, even. The look in those deep green eyes was sending it exploding out of control and I was sure he could hear it hammering just across the table.

He tossed some bills on the table and stood up. "You ready to go?"

I glanced at my cleaned plate, and grabbed my purse. "Yes. Thank you, again."

"It was my pleasure," he said, and as I stood up, he extended a hand towards me.

I looked at Edward's outstretched hand like it was a snake that was about to bite. Then I glanced up and saw Tiffany watching us intently. That did it. I walked to his side, took a deep breath and wove my fingers through his, and almost missed my vicarious shot of triumph in her direction as the fireworks launching through me were so strong at the touch of his skin on mine.

We exited the restaurant, still hand-in-hand and he stopped on the sidewalk, turning toward me. He was so close I could almost sense what it would feel like to be in his arms. Dangerous thoughts, I reminded myself, dangerous thoughts. Don't go there. But it was nearly impossible _not _to go there when his hand was intertwined with mine and his eyes had such an intent expression.

"Shall we walk? Where are you parked?"

"In a garage on 3rd and Alder."

"Perfect," Edward said, turning in the direction we needed to go and starting to walk. He had to tug a little on my hand to pull me out of the stupor I was in. Something, I'd decided, was not computing. Something in between the moonlight walk to my car and everything I'd promised myself.

I glanced down at our hands, and wondered if maybe I should make a point saying that I'd only taken his hand in the restaurant to dissuade Tiffany from hitting on him further. Of course that would definitely bring up the fact that I hadn't liked him flirting with the waitress, and the only reason I'd be jealous at all was if _I _liked him.

It was becoming harder and harder to remind myself that I didn't, as we walked together, hand in hand, through the twilight-filled evening. The stars were nearly out, and it was undeniably romantic. In fact, unlike the unqualified disaster I'd expected dinner to be, I'd really enjoyed myself. More than I'd probably even admit to myself.

We walked in silence, just letting the charm of downtown Portland and the Pearl District at night wash over us.

"Do you ever go to First Thursday?" Edward inquired, breaking the stillness between us, as we passed the third art gallery on this particular block. First Thursday was a traditional event in the art-minded Pearl District. During the first Thursday of every month, all the galleries would stay open late and serve food and drinks to the public. It had evolved into almost a street festival. I personally found the tone of the evening a little too snooty for my tastes, but I had a feeling it was right up Edward's alley.

"Occasionally," I said, trying not to gasp as he chose that particular moment to rub his thumb in circles over my sensitive skin. "Alice likes to go, because it's good for her business to be seen at those kind of events."

"I went once and thought it was just an excuse for people to look at art they can't even begin to understand and pretend is interesting." Edward turned to me, a smile playing on his lips, and I felt the world begin to careen slowly out of control.

Every single assumption I'd made about him this evening had been wrong. I'd thought he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant that said more about him than the food. We'd ended up going to the Rogue Public House, my favorite place to eat.

I'd told myself that he was flirting with Tiffany, but really, he'd just been being polite to her. No, he hadn't stone-walled her, but he'd been a little distant and merely cordial. I could hardly fault him for trying to be courteous and well-mannered.

I was sure he'd brought up First Thursday so he could brag about how cultured he was. Instead, he'd decided to inform me that such events bothered him and his sense of artistic integrity.

Then, before I could even wrap my mind around any of these latest realizations, he spoke.

"You know," Edward said, suddenly stopping, and turning to face me. "You are awful distant sometimes. I'd give just about anything to know what you're thinking right now."

"Nothing much," I stammered, hoping he'd stop this line of questioning before it even got started.

"But your distance does make it terribly difficult for a guy to take you on a date," he finished, playfully bringing my hand up to his lips. He brushed a quick kiss on the back and let it slip down to my side.

All I could do was stand there, gaping at him. "A date? This was a date?"

He had the nerve to look cross with me. "What did you think it was?"

"A business meeting?" I asked, meekly. I knew how ridiculous it sounded, but my mind was blank and I couldn't think of anything else to say.

Edward threw back his head and roared with laughter. "As if a man would just want to take you on a 'business meeting.' You sure are a funny lady, Bella."

I wanted to sink through the sidewalk in mortification. I was sure I'd flushed a million different shades of red, all of them bright and conspicuous.

"Now that we've cleared this up," Edward said conversationally, apparently ignoring my humiliation, "let's finish our walk." He reached for my hand again, and I was still struck so dumb that I let him take it.

"Bella?" Edward enquired, glancing my way, "you okay?"

"Fine, I'm fine," I mumbled, ruinously aware that any kind of comfort I'd enjoyed with him before had now completely evaporated and I was completely screwed.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author Note: **This is becoming such a wild ride, but I love it! Your reviews are amazing--thank you all for liking what I'm doing. I feel like I'm finally hitting my stride with the plot, as you'll soon see.

This chapter feels like I am finally expunging all the terrible shopping scenes I've read in fan fiction throughout all the time I've spent hanging around on this site. They so often become demeaning and I hate it when Bella only sees her own value through either the eyes of Edward or when she dresses up in outfits she's not ultimately comfortable in. Enough of my soapbox, I'll just let you read and enjoy.

Thanks to my betas, tameleine and Madeleine (wow, their names rhyme and I never even noticed), you guys rock my world.

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BPOV

I unlocked the door of our townhouse and thought to myself that it had been a long twenty four hours. A single day in which much of what I'd believed had gotten flipped upside down. A lot had happened and I was incredibly exhausted, emotionally and physically. Thank god today was Friday and I could sleep in as long as I wanted tomorrow.

I breathed a silent sigh of relief when both the living room and kitchen were dark. Obviously both Alice and Rosalie had gone to bed and there was no need to revisit the day's drama all over again.

After tiptoeing down the hall to my bedroom, I nearly emitted a scream when I switched the light and Alice was sitting cross-legged on my bed.

"What the hell," I breathed out, "are you doing sitting in my room in the dark?"

Alice stretched her short legs out in front of her. "Waiting for you, of course. And I might ask you where you've been. It's almost midnight. I left you at nine." Her expression was slightly petulant and I remembered all the calls I'd ignored while at dinner with Edward. I wondered if I could get away with not telling her what had transpired.

"Uh. I got some dinner. . ." I trailed off and set my purse down on the desk in the corner. Slipping out of my heels, I wiggled my toes, and let out a groan of contentment.

"Three hours for dinner?" Alice's face scrunched up and I knew something wasn't adding up right in her head, but before she could question me further, the creases in her brow smoothed out and she gave me one of her lightning smiles.

She patted the bed next to me. "Come sit down, and we'll talk."

I was just grateful to get off my feet. I stretched out next to her, and she pounced.

"You were with Edward weren't you?"

I knew my expression was guilty and there was no point in hiding it. Alice could read me like a book.

"Yes," I replied, guardedly, though I knew perfectly well that I'd end up confiding all of what had happened between us, my hopes and my fears. Alice was like human truth serum.

All she had to give me was a look and just like that, just like I'd feared, the truth came tumbling out of my mouth.

"I called Edward, and he said he was already downtown. We went to Rogue."

Alice hummed in approval. "You told him your favorite restaurant already? You work fast, girl."

"No, no," I said before I realized that this was just another of Alice's traps. "He suggested we go there before he knew I loved it."

Realization lit up her eyes. "You realize what he's doing, right?" she said excitedly. "He's after you."

I could hardly deny it after the hand-holding and the charming way he'd said goodbye, leaning in just far enough that I knew he'd wanted to kiss me, but reluctantly pulling away because he said he wanted to respect me. All the while my heart had thudded at about a million miles per hour. I had really _really _wanted him to kiss me, respect be damned, and the surge of disappointment at his words still hadn't completely faded.

"Well, that's the crazy thing," I began. . . "Obviously, yes. He is. I'm just not sure why."

Alice smacked me on the arm and I glared at her. "Bella. What am I going to do with you? Edward should thank his lucky stars that you allowed him to even talk to you."

I rolled my eyes at her exaggeration. "You really don't have to be nice, Alice. Edward Cullen is gorgeous, successful and brilliant. He could get anyone he wanted."

"And he's smart enough to want you," Alice said with a note of finality in her voice. I knew that she was through discussing any possible way that I wouldn't measure up to Edward's standards. If only I could turn my own mind off that easily.

"You can't tell Rosalie, though," Alice continued.

"Why not?"

"You tell Rosalie and she'll think she's off the hook." Alice examined her nails pointedly and I realized how sneaky she truly was.

"You're right. Rose finds out and she'll think that Edward and I can handle you and Jasper all on our own."

"Which you can't," Alice interrupted. "Jasper may be able to do a fairly good impression of a brick wall, but you'll need me and my help."

Sometimes I wished that Alice over-exaggerated her own abilities but I knew that she didn't. Alice could do anything she set her mind to, and I was proud that I only got jealous once in awhile.

"So we're going to have to keep it a secret from Rose." Somehow, the already complex plan had become impossible. My face was an open book, and Rosalie was. . .well. . .Rosalie.

"Alice," I said, despondently getting up from the bed and crossing to my dresser. "I'm not going to be able to do this. Rose is going to know in five seconds flat the first time she sees me with Edward."

Alice chuckled. "That bad, huh?"

I quickly stripped out of my clothes and threw on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. I didn't miss Alice's eye roll. She hated it when I wore sweatpants. The only way she'd even allow it is if I bought them from Victoria's Secret, which was why I was currently wearing _pink _sweatpants. Ugh.

"That bad," I confirmed, reluctant for Alice to know just how sunk I was, and even more reluctant for me to admit it to myself.

Alice's expression had turned distant and I knew she was sorting through the various possibilities in her mind. If anyone could come up with a solution it was Alice, I tried to reassure myself.

"Well," she finally spoke up, "I don't have any doubt that Rose is going to have her hands full and her attention pretty distracted by Emmett. That man has always managed to turn her inside out. Chances are, if you can be even a little discreet, then she won't notice."

I guess I must have looked pretty unconvinced, because Alice continued, reassuringly. "You never saw her with him in high school. Aliens could have invaded the school, and she never would have noticed. She's going to be really distracted whenever we're all together and she's going to hate every second of it. The last thing she's going to think about is you and Edward, as long as you're not ridiculously obvious."

I told myself that Alice knew what she was talking about and that any feelings of intense disappointment that Edward would have to keep anything "ridiculously obvious" under wraps were pointless. As nerve-wracking as it had been, I'd enjoyed holding his hand and when we hadn't kissed, I'd wanted to scream in frustration. I was beginning to realize that dating "comfortable" men ultimately meant that I had missed out on a connection with someone who was fascinating and who fascinated me. Maybe that was why I felt so out of my depth with Edward: it was a novel experience for me to date a gorgeous and charismatic man.

"Okay, I'll just tell him that he can't be. . .obvious." And how I was going to manage that, I wasn't entirely sure, because admitting that there were things we had to hide meant admitting _something_ was going on between us. I was barely comfortable that what we'd been on tonight counting as a date, nevermind the rest of it.

"Awesome," Alice said, popping up off the bed. "I'm going to bed. And tomorrow, Bella," she said, turning back to look at me, "we're going shopping."

"Shopping?" Disbelief was quickly replaced by resignation. As if anyone could keep Alice from shopping when she'd determined we needed to go.

Alice sent me a chiding yet loving look from across the room. "We're going to need a _lot _of new clothes for this new venture."

I opened my mouth to tell her that Edward hadn't seemed to mind the rumpled work clothes I'd shown up in tonight, but when I turned toward the door, she'd already left the room.

"Blast." I said aloud, also remembering that I'd failed to share the somewhat pertinent news that Emmett had been so upset by Rosalie's presence in his life that he'd punched a wall. It was just as well. At least I'd have something to share tomorrow as Alice dragged me, practically dead weight, from store to store.

As it turned out, I didn't get an opportunity to tell Alice about Emmett, as Rosalie decided to accompany us on our shopping expedition. I'd quickly decided that it was better that Rose not know what Emmett had done. The plan was quickly devolving into a convoluted mess of facts dispersed on a "need to know" basis.

The only explanation she'd offered for coming with us instead of working as she sometimes did on a Saturday was that she needed some "armor" for the upcoming "trial." I could only assume that she meant clothes and meeting Emmett. I tried to suppress a smile, as she glared from Alice to I, challenging either of us to say a single word.

Instead, Alice and I exchanged gleeful looks behind Rosalie's back, as she poured coffee into her travel mug, and grabbed her purse, meanwhile doing an excellent impression of the Grinch.

Rose had stomped into the kitchen this morning, obviously in a bad mood, and mumbling that she hadn't slept well. I'd opened my mouth to say that I hadn't either, but I quickly snapped it shut, remembering that I wasn't allowed to say anything about why sleep hadn't been forthcoming. Inwardly, I lectured myself at keeping quiet, which typically wasn't a problem. Unfortunately I had a feeling that what had been easy before was now about to become a lot harder, and that was just one symptom of everything that had changed over the last two days.

By the time we got to the mall, I'd had to muzzle myself a total of three times, and Alice wasn't helping with her uncharacteristic silence. I was one of those unfortunate souls who hated an uncomfortable silence and would try to fill it babbling small talk. Regrettably, there was very little I could seem to come up with this morning that had nothing to do with Edward, Emmett or Jasper. Grimacing inwardly, I finally gave up, and let silence again drift over the car. Typically, we were a fairly loud-mouthed, fun-loving bunch, but apparently the emotional revelations of the last forty-eight hours had left everyone contemplative. I prayed that this state of mind lasted well into our shopping trip.

I was not that lucky. As soon as we entered Macy's, Alice was quickly back into her bossy, fashionista element and Rosalie's expression was one of dire determination. They both threw themselves into the racks of clothes like they were really going into battle. I, however, held back, only picking out a few select things to try on.

Alice noticed quickly my reticence and launched into one of her typical lectures.

"Bella, I really don't know what to do with you." She set one hand on a hip and balanced a terrifyingly large amount of hangers on only one arm. If anyone thought that Alice's size prevented her from being a superior shopper, five minutes in a department store with her would be enough to change anyone's mind.

Rosalie had apparently heard Alice, as she also came over to see what was going on. "Is that all you're trying on?"

"We just went shopping a week ago," I heard myself whine piteously, "I hardly need anymore clothes."

Alice's eyes flashed. "It's certainly not about _need_," she enunciated, "it's about what is going to get you the results you're looking for."

I flashed Alice a desperate quick look, trying to impress on her that going any farther was going to tip Rose off, but Alice was still Alice. She'd apparently known that Rose's attention had shifted to a rack of sundresses and she was now out of earshot.

Still, Alice walked closer, and hissed quietly at me, if only to remind me of my new place in this whole mess. "I'm sure Edward would appreciate you dressing up for him."

I shook my head, determined that for once, Alice wouldn't get her way. "You've been helping me shop for six years. You've already done your makeover magic with what I've got. I no longer wear workout pants in public or t shirts. I put makeup on every morning and style my hair. Ponytails only a few times a week, even. You've done your work, Alice, and I can take it from here."

"Besides," I continued, "if Edward does really like me, I want it to be for more than knowing my way around an eyelash curler and the difference between Prada and Guess." I turned around and proceeded to examine the rack of tank tops behind me, hearing Alice splutter and mutter behind me.

Still, it appeared that she'd agreed that I'd come a long way and no longer needed to be chastised into stylish choices, as she walked away without arguing.

My feelings on the matter had been building for some time, and though there some occasions I'd always need Alice's help with, I felt pretty comfortable seeing to my own beauty routine now. Of course, when I'd first Alice and Rose, I'd been a wreck: unibrow, worn jeans and a whole closet full of t-shirts.

I felt a surge of elation. Sometimes it felt as if your life just meandered along and any progress you made toward your goals was minimal at best, and then sometimes, out of the blue, several pieces just fell into place at once. I felt as if the latter had just happened. I'd just gotten a promotion, I'd handled myself semi-decently with Edward, and now I'd finally told Alice that I felt comfortable and beautiful in my own skin, with no help from her.

I felt like doing a little dance of joy right there in the middle of Macy's, but I refrained, only out of a duty to not make my two best friends terrified for my sanity. I did however, break into a huge smile that I couldn't put away if my life depended on it.

Flipping through the rack of tank tops, I selected two and was about to move on, when Rosalie passed behind me.

"I heard what you said to Alice," she said, quietly, so that the topic of our discussion wouldn't hear, "and I wanted to say, 'way to go, Bels.'" She gave me a quick smile, and slyly held her hand down by my waist for a subtle high-five that wouldn't send Alice through the roof.

"She seemed a little upset." As much as I wanted my independence from Alice's fashion dictatorship, I loved her and didn't want to hurt her feelings.

"Yeah," Rosalie brushed my concerns aside nonchalantly, "she'll get over it. Believe it or not, she tried to make me over once, after Emmett and I broke up in high school, and let me tell you, when I resisted, I thought she'd never forgive me. But she was over it in three days."

I laughed, but was secretly gratified to see Rose able to talk about Emmett in front of me without getting overly emotional. Maybe this would actually work, after all.

Five minutes later, my mood was still high, even though we were on our way into the dressing room. Despite what I'd told Alice, I did have quite a few things in my arms, though they were all handpicked by me. It was funny, I thought, I used to hate shopping, and though it certainly wasn't a replacement for sleeping in on a Saturday morning, there were a lot worse ways to spend my time. In fact, though I needed none of this, I was enjoying myself despite that particular fact, and I'd probably end up buying a significant portion of it.

Just as I was about to slip off my shirt, I heard my phone start to ring. Digging through my purse, I pulled it out finally, only to almost drop it back in my bag like it was a red hot poker. Edward's name and number flashed on the front screen and I wondered if I could slip out of the dressing room without Rosalie noticing. There were certain things that needed to be discussed out of earshot.

I quietly opened and shut the dressing room door and slipped down the hallway in my stocking feet. Thank goodness I'd already taken off my boots. I still hadn't gotten the hang of walking in them, and Rose would have heard me for sure.

As soon as I was out of the dressing room, I clicked the send button and tiptoed over to the plus size section. This was one part of the store that Rose wouldn't be caught dead in and I'd be safe for the time being.

"Hey," I whispered into the phone.

"Why are you whispering?" Edward asked, doing a not-terrible impression of me trying to keep my voice down.

"Oh stop. I'm shopping with Alice and Rosalie and I don't want Rose to hear what I'm saying. They're in the dressing room, but that could change any minute."

"Shopping?" The distaste in his voice said it all.

"I know, believe me. It isn't pretty here."

"I can imagine," Edward replied with amusement blooming in his voice, "I went to school with Alice and she looked like a fashion plate even at 18."

"Well, nothing's changed in that regard, except that now it's her career, and it's about fifty times worse."

Edward laughed, deep and full, into the phone, and I felt my heart stutter again. Stop it Bella, I told myself, you can do this. You're a powerful, strong, in-control woman and hot green-eyed men flirting with you doesn't throw you a bit.

"I hope she doesn't try to change you into a version of her. You look perfect." The dark seductive tone was back in full force, and this time I actually was beginning to believe that it was for _me_, not just an act he put on for every woman.

But perfect? If only he'd used a less enthusiastic adjective, then I could have actually believed him.

Edward must have sensed my disbelieving silence, because he continued. "Really, Bella, you're a knockout, major labels or no."

I closed my eyes in a brief prayer of thanks to whatever God had given me this incredible blessing of a man. I'd try really hard to deserve it—maybe I'd even send a nice fruitcake to Heaven at Christmas.

"Thank you," I said, attempting to force the teary tone out of my voice. Guys didn't want a girl who got all emotional whenever they told them that they were beautiful. Except that I had never really been told it so nicely before, and from someone from who, I was beginning to realize, actually meant what he said.

"But speaking of that," I continued, attempting to downshift into the matter at hand, "you're going to have to keep that under wraps a little." I curled two fingers on my free hand into a quick cross, praying silently that he wouldn't ask me to elaborate.

"What under wraps?"

Damn.

"Uh. . .well. . .you know. . .the whole _date _thing."

"Okay," he replied slowly, "I can do that, but I have to ask why."

Really, the man was incredibly intelligent, but he was sometimes also a moron. "Hello," I said, borrowing one of Alice's favorite expressions, "earth to Edward. Rosalie is only going along with this whole thing because we're trying to get _Jasper _and _Alice _together. If she thinks the matter is already accomplished by having us there. . .well. . .she'll bow out."

"Hmmmmm." Edward was clearly thinking this through. "Well, I told Jasper," he finally said.

"That's okay, I told Alice too," I said a little too quickly. Stupid stupid me.

Edward immediately pounced. "_What _did you tell her?" His voice was full of undisguised and uninhibited glee at having caught me.

I took a chance that maybe he had really enjoyed the verbal sparring we'd had at dinner and rolled the dice. "That we had a business meeting, of course," I said, innocence dripping from my voice like honey.

Edward laughed long and hard. I leaned against a column and tried to remember all the reasons why I didn't want to get involved with this man who took such joy in everything, and in _me_.

"Well, that settles it. I had a feeling you were trouble, Bella Swan, and you've confirmed it."

"Good," I said tartly, "and don't you forget it."

"So," Edward started, clearly changing the subject, "do you ladies have any plans for tonight?"

"So soon?" I almost panicked but remembered just in time my "I'm a woman" chant. I'd discovered recently it was almost as good as the deep breathing I'd learned at the yoga class Alice had dragged me to.

"No point in wasting time. We need to strike while the iron's hot. I give Emmett any more time to change his mind, we're not going to have any walls left in our house."

"So what's the plan then?"

"Dinner, then drinks?"

"Perfect. When and where?"

"Seven, at Montage."

"Perfect." I was beaming and I hoped that he knew that I'd be happier to see him than to actually meet his foster brothers for the first time.

"Great, I'll see you then. And Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Don't worry. It'll all work out."

"Okay," I said breathlessly. "I'll see you tonight."

"Until this evening, beautiful."

I was sure he heard my intake of breath. "Whoops," he said, voice serious, "looks like I've been practicing my Italian translation a little too much."

I laughed, clicked off the phone, and had to lean back against the pillar for support. I felt further justified in everything I'd said to Alice. I didn't need plunging necklines, skintight pants or elevated hemlines to catch Edward's attention. If she ever heckled me again, I could simply bring up that Edward thought I was beautiful just the way I was.

Obviously, Rosalie didn't feel the same way. I caught sight of her, coming out of the dressing room just in time, and she was wearing a traffic-stopping red dress that was practically painted on. Subtle wasn't exactly Rose's strong suit, and I had to admit that it suited her. When you were so outrageously gorgeous and had legs up to your chin, and a whole head of shiny blond hair, subtlety was just lost anyway. It was better to embrace the gaudiness and just run with it, which she clearly was.

"Bella!" Rose caught sight of me and waved me over.

"Where'd you go?" she asked, as she frantically ripped through half a rack of dresses.

"I . .. uh. . ." I started to reply, but Rose was clearly in another zone as she simply interrupted me.

"What do you think of this dress?" she said, gesturing at what she was wearing.

The dress was even more outrageous close-up, but it would probably have the effect that Rose wanted: to physically drag Emmett's tongue out of his mouth and his brain into his pants.

"If that's the direction you want to go," I said, doubt in my voice.

"It is," she snapped, then returned to the rack. Remind me not to mess with her today. Maybe I'd let Alice break the news that we all had a "date" for tonight. Maybe we should tell her while we were safely ensconced in our respective dressing rooms. Less collateral damage that way.

"I'm going to go try on the rest of my clothes," I called over my shoulder as I headed back to the dressing room.

Rosalie didn't even reply, she was too busy demolishing every rack of dresses in the section. I had to admit that even watching Rose and Alice shop nearly every week for six years hadn't prepared me for the desperation-tinged trip that this was turning into.

I heard Alice before I saw her. Her voice was incredibly distinctive and loud in normal circumstances, but considering Rosalie's frenzied quest for the most revealing dress in the entire store, it was becoming clear that these were hardly normal circumstances.

Alice had the door of her dressing room open, and there were clothes everywhere. She'd clearly decided in favor of not even bothering to shut the door as she took dress after dress from a beleaguered saleswoman's arms and tried each one on, before tossing it onto a growing pile on the bench of her room.

"Bella!" Alice's eyes lit up as soon as she spotted me, and the saleswoman sent me a look of undeniable gratitude.

"Alice," I said as calmly as I could, "what's wrong?"

"I can't find the right dress," she whined petulantly.

"Well," I said, "I'm sure most of these are pretty nice and would do for our date tonight."

"Tonight?" she squeaked and if I wasn't mistaken, I heard the saleswoman say a fairly naughty word under her breath.

"Now, there's no need to panic. You own more clothes than you could possibly wear in about ten lifetimes, so maybe we can find something in your closet," I soothed, gently disentangling her clenched fingers from the fabric of yet another choice.

Unfortunately, Rosalie had come in behind me and had heard what I'd said.

"Tonight?" she stormed. I could only nod as I felt both of them slowly begin to spin even more out of control.

"Rose, that dress looks really amazing on you," I said, trying to keep the frantic edge out of my tone, and looking toward the poor saleswoman for confirmation.

She'd clearly figured out that I knew how to handle these two better than her, as she simply nodded. "Looks great," she said with false enthusiasm.

I was just glad she hadn't said that Rose looked like she belonged on Broadway, which wouldn't have been far from the truth.

"Now, Alice," I said, turning my attention back to the short pixie in front of me. "I like that one you're wearing."

"This?" she said, doubtfully, rotating in front of the mirror. Her brow puckered and I could see her working up a million reasons why it wouldn't do.

"I think that turquoise color is gorgeous with your skin and your hair. Jasper won't know what hit him," I said pointedly, hoping that at least _someone _would back me up here.

"It does look nice," Rose said, as she went back into her room and closed the door.

"I'm just not sure. . ." Alice replied, still turning and lifting the dress, examining it more completely than its designer probably had.

I decided it was high time to play the trump card. Six years of shopping with Rosalie and Alice had taught me one thing: it was a good idea to keep a steady pace of moving from store to store.

"You need to pick a dress," I said rationally, "because we still need shoes and bags. . ." Alice's eyes perked up and there was a muffled assent from Rosalie's dressing room, and I continued, following Edward's plan of striking while the iron was hot, "and accessories," I finished triumphantly.

Apparently I'd said the magic word because, Alice was immediately pushing the saleswoman out of her dressing room and the poor woman quickly took off down the hall, throwing me another quick look of appreciation as she escaped.

I realized that I hadn't tried anything on that I'd picked out, but I already knew what I liked and usually trying things on was simply a visual confirmation of what I'd already knew. I scooped everything I'd brought into the dressing room into my arms, prepared to buy the whole lot unseen. After all, there were a few—not many—but a few items that were a little bolder than I was used to, and I didn't want to chicken out by seeing them on me before I bought them. I told myself that these were new clothes for a newly emerging Bella.

Alice led the charge to the customer service counter, like she was General Custer on his last battlefield and I knew with a sinking feeling that this was going to be a very long afternoon. The only bright spot was that I was going to be able to see Edward at the end of it, and just maybe, despite the sinking feeling in my stomach, the plan wouldn't be an utter disaster.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author Note: ** I can't believe that we've finally gotten to the first big meet-up between my six main characters! Actually, despite how long this chapter is, this is only "half" of the date. It just got to be too long and I decided to finish the date in chapter 12. Thanks for all your reviews, I'm glad you guys liked the shopping chapter.

And yes, I have been to Montage (I have a special place in my heart for this restaurant--my boyfriend and I went there on our first date), and yes they do serve wine in water cups. I've never had them pour water in my white wine, but I know someone who has had that happen to them.

Thanks to my betas: tameleine, Madeleine, Theresa and CallistoLexx. You guys are awesome!

Without much ado, here we go!

* * *

APOV

I stared at myself in the huge full length mirror I'd hung on my bedroom door. The dress, I had to give Bella credit, was beautiful on me, but even looking as I did in that moment, I couldn't be completely satisfied with my appearance. I heard a few crashes in the bathroom that Rosalie and I shared, and I knew the reason for them. No matter how much Bella might act as if she comprehended how difficult this was for both Rose and I, she could never really understand.

I took another hard look at myself, and felt another wave of dread rush over me. At least Emmett and Rosalie had been in love with _each other_. No doubt that the thought of having to act like he was interested in me was going to absolutely humiliate and disgust Jasper.

I felt the beginnings of a tear begin to form inside the corner of my eye and resolutely pushed the thought away. I couldn't cry. I would somehow make it through this evening and all the evenings to come without any of them realizing how much pride I was sacrificing to make this reunion happen.

There was a soft knock on my door and I wiped any remainder of depression of my face. I hated being sad, and so unsurprisingly, I managed to avoid it most of the time. I admitted pretty freely that I had a very privileged life, and if maybe one man at one point in my life hadn't been interested, so what. There'd been plenty of others—it wasn't their fault that I'd never managed to return any of their feelings because my heart was still ridiculously wrapped up in that prize jerk, Jasper.

Bella was standing on the other side of the door and the look on her face nearly undid me, but I stayed strong because there was no time to redo my eye makeup and hell was going to freeze over before I'd go in front of Jasper looking anything less than perfect. He might wish that he didn't have to act interested, but I was going to make sure that he had the envy of every male in sight.

I let her into my room silently and she stood there, waiting for me to work the lump that was rising in my throat.

"You look gorgeous," she said, lightly fingering the sexy yet somewhat innocent ruffles on the bottom of the dress. It clung to every curve of my body, the dropped waist style emphasizing the leanness of my torso, and thankfully, making me look a _little _taller. Bella was right: it was the perfect dress.

"Yes," I said, almost impatiently. Usually finding the perfect outfit made me want to go out and show it off, but I would be happy just staying in tonight. The only thing I was looking forward to was the way that Jasper's jaw was going to drop when he saw me in this dress.

I glanced over at Bella, and felt my _own _jaw drop a little. "What are you wearing?" I said, the excitement at how incredible she looked finally managing to distract me from the hell that was going to be my evening.

"Oh this?" she laughed, as she twirled in front of me.

"Did Rosalie pick it out?"

Bella, leaned in to the mirror briefly, doing a final check to make sure all her makeup was still in place. Not that she was wearing much. Whatever it was, though, I wanted some, because she was positively glowing, and the gorgeous coral color of the dress simply enhanced that.

"Nope. I found it today, and knew I'd love it."

I guess that Bella hadn't been kidding when she'd said she could handle the clothing thing from now on. I took in her appearance with the critical stylist's eye, and found it pretty close to flawless. She wore simple straw wedge sandals, and no jewelry except for a few gold bangles.

"Well," I admitted, "you look fantastic. Edward is going to die when he sees you in that dress."

Bella threw a mischievous smile in my direction. "I could say the same about Jasper," she said.

Taking one last look in the mirror, I knew she was right, but forced myself not to think that he'd _always _seemed to like the way I looked. He just hadn't liked what was inside. That was unlikely to change.

"Let's go get Rose before she destroys the bathroom," Bella chirped, further annoying me with her transparent happiness.

"Wait," I said, suddenly having a very unpleasant thought. "What have you told her that I know?"

"That you know?" Bella's lovely face was completely blank and I desperately wanted to beat some sense into her, but that was Rose's territory, not mine. I subjected victims with 100 cotton-poly blends and eyeliner—not threats of dismemberment.

"Bel. Think about it. You told her that the purpose of this evening is to reunite me and Jasper, obviously by his request. Why do I think we're going?"

"Uh. Uh." Bella's face took on a decided green tinge and I delighted in her awkwardness for just a minute. My turn would come soon enough.

"I didn't think you'd thought that out. Did your precious Eddie not fill you in on all the details?" I let my voice slide into a sneer, and I only felt a moment of remorse when her eyes turned resentful.

"He's not my precious Eddie," she snapped back. "He'd just Edward, and give me a second. I can work this out."

I raised one eyebrow and crossed my arms over my chest, ready to wait her out.

There was a loud crash emanating from the bathroom and both of us heard Rosalie say a few choice words, none appropriate for polite company.

I decided to prod her a little farther. "You know Rosalie will kill you if she finds out. You have to come up with something watertight enough that she won't be able to reason her way around it."

"Al, I know!" Bella bit off, clearly becoming annoyed with me and her inability to think of something good. I sighed. This was exactly why I had involved myself with this insane plan.

"This is what I was thinking," I began, and ignored the glare she shot me, "I've been told that Jasper has used you and Edward to communicate that he'd like to reopen the channels of communication, but that he would feel awkward doing it with just the two of us, at least at first." It wasn't even close to the best thing I'd ever come up with, but hey, I was working on short notice and without any help from Bella.

Bella nodded. "That could work."

"And remember," I added, "she's going to be so distracted in Emmett's presence that I bet you she won't even remember to ask what I know."

I could see Bella visibly wilting with all the potential ways this plan could go awry, and I almost joined her in contemplating the nearly-inevitable failure, but my usually cheerful nature took over, and I grabbed her arm.

"Come on, let's go, before either of us can change our mind."

Bella gave me an indignant look. "I'm not changing my mind."

"Okay, well, I'm about to change mine, so let's go."

"Fine," she said, shortly. She was clearly annoyed with me still for putting her on the spot like that. I knew it had been wrong of me, but I had to get back at her just a _little _for forcing me to make pretend love with Jasper Cullen.

We exited my bedroom, and cautiously approached the bathroom, which was curiously quiet at the moment. So quiet, in fact, that it was almost possible to forget the sounds of Armageddon that it had recently been emitting.

Rosalie appeared at the doorway, and I heard Bella's sharp intake of breath next to me. Even after twenty plus years of knowing and having Rosalie as a sister, she still did that to me occasionally. Bella, naturally, was less used to Rose when she put a lot of effort into how she looked, which she admittedly didn't do that often anymore.

"Are we going?" Rose snapped, her bitchy voice not detracting from the way she looked, but somehow adding to it. Emmett was really in big trouble. If he was smart, he wouldn't have even touched this plan with a ten foot pole, but clearly, he loved Jasper just as much as I loved Rose.

"Yes," Bella answered, just a bit too uncertainly for my tastes. For about the tenth time in the last five minutes, I thanked god that I was involved in this plan. If not for me, the thing would have gotten derailed before it even got started.

"Rose, let's go," I said, with a lot more authority in my voice than Bella obviously had the power to emit when Rose looked like _that_.

I walked toward the living room, noticing out of my peripheral vision that Rose and Bella had both followed. I could be in charge right up until we got to the restaurant, and then I was going to get relegated into red herring mode, having to lap up everything Jasper said and pretend I was liking it. I inwardly grimaced, as I did a quick final check of my purse.

"I'm driving," Rosalie announced, and neither of us argued with her. If driving was the reason that we were leaving and actually making it there, then we weren't stupid enough to try to dissuade her.

* * *

RPOV

When Bella said that we were meeting the Cullens at Montage, I'd almost breathed a sigh of relief. Montage was a noisy, intrusive, extremely popular Cajun restaurant that catered to everyone from hipster teenagers to a pre-club outing for the older partying set. It stayed open late and was also known as a serious after-party spot. The noise level alone would dissuade any real conversation, and we could all blankly ignore each other in favor of people-watching. The distance between Emmett and I could be preserved and he, and nobody else for that matter, would never have to know how upset I was about this dinner.

Of course, eventually we'd go somewhere else, I think Bella had mentioned drinks, but I could deal with that when the moment came. At least I wouldn't be forced into conversation with him right away.

I drove slower than I usually did, dreading the moment when we'd come to the restaurant, and we'd have to get out of safety of my car.

Stop it, I told myself. You look amazingly hot. You picked this dress almost like armor—there's no way that _any _man, even one as gorgeous as Emmett Cullen, would really feel comfortable approaching you when you look like this.

The red dress I'd bought at Macy's had been too. . .obvious. As soon as we'd gotten home, I'd known it was wrong for the occasion, and I'd ransacked my closet, looking for something more subtle, yet still undeniably sexy. I'd finally hit the jackpot with a black dress I'd found in the back of my closet. I didn't remember buying it, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out why I hadn't worn it yet. When I put it on, I immediately remembered why.

It was too classy for going to clubs, it made me look too incredible for any regular date, and it was way too sexy for work. I'd bought it, promising myself that when I had a really kick ass date, I'd wear it because it was sure to bring some lucky guy to his knees.

Well, it looked like the lucky guy was going to be Emmett Cullen. Truthfully, I hated wasting it on him, but I knew that there was nothing else I could possibly wear that would have this kind of effect. The dress itself was short, but not ridiculously so, and had a v-neck that wasn't even particularly low cut, but it was extremely form fitting, with little gathers and pleats showcasing my hourglass figure. I usually shied away from black in the evenings, but with the little bit of a tan I'd already gotten this summer, the black made me glow and really emphasized the blondness of my hair.

I styled my hair into a quick low ponytail, leaving my hair wavy instead of stick straight. Heaven forbid it look like I was trying too hard. I took a lot of care with my makeup too, making sure I made the most of what little I put on. Slipping into my favorite black peep-toe stilettos, I knew that there were very few times in my entire life that I'd looked better, but still, I didn't feel satisfied.

Except that Alice and Bella had picked that moment to show up and force me to leave. Not that I was sure there was anything else I could do. After all, I'd pulled out every single weapon in my arsenal and if Emmett wasn't dying after all this, there wasn't much else that I could do to affect him.

I pulled the car into the lot adjoining Montage and tried to steady my breathing without letting either Alice or Bella know that it was unsteady. Though, I had a feeling that neither of them would really notice. Alice was wringing her hands, clearly a wreck, and Bella seemed very preoccupied, even for her. In fact, neither of them even noticed when I pulled into a parking space and turned off the growling engine.

"Hello," I snapped, "we're here. Let's get this show on the road."

Alice almost reluctantly unsnapped her seatbelt and climbed out, pushing her seat forward so Bella could snake her way out of the backseat. It was then I noticed how stunning Bel looked, and again Edward Cullen made a fleeting pass through my overstressed mind, but I quickly pushed that thought aside. As far as I knew, they'd had a ten minute conversation in a Starbucks. I was imagining things. They were simply trying to pave the way for Alice and Jasper.

At that, I glanced to my right at Alice, who obviously needed a kick in the pants. She was as white as a sheet, but other than that, I couldn't fault her appearance. The dress she'd picked pretty much exemplified flirtiness, and I couldn't blame her for going that route. Who would have ever thought that Jasper Cullen would, after six years, decide to pursue her? Normally, I would have thought she'd greet this particular news with joy, but apparently the inherent stresses of the situation had contrived to make even Alice nervous. I think the last time I'd even seen Alice this edgy had been six years ago, with Jasper. If anything, that just proved they were perfect for each other. Alice needed someone who could get under her skin and I'd never seen anyone do that nearly as well as Jasper.

I turned to Bel. "Are we meeting them inside?"

She was looking at her phone, clearly reading a text message. I nodded almost absentmindedly, admiring her ability to keep up with us while wearing four inch platforms. I took a second to admire them, before returning my attention to her face. I grimaced impatiently.

"Hello, I'm waiting here, Bella," I growled at her. I didn't care if both of them knew I was hiding my fear with my attitude, there was no way I could possibly prevent it. Between the bitchy manner and my outfit, I was determined to conceal my still-wounded heart.

She looked up and for a second, the sheer happiness in her brown eyes blew me away, but before I could comment, the emotion had passed and she'd explained that they were meeting us inside; they already had a table. Great. I was going to have to reunite with my ex-lover in front of a whole restaurant.

If it was possible, Alice turned even whiter. I nudged her with my elbow. "Do you need a second?"

She looked at me almost gratefully. "No. . .I'm fine. Just give me a minute and then we can . . .get this over with."

Bella was having none of it though. "Come on," she urged, "it's getting cold. . .I'm freezing," she clearly improvised.

"Bella," I deadpanned, "it's June."

"And I'm wearing a few scraps of fabric," she snarked back at me. I refused to give into her eagerness to fight by replying that she was wearing more fabric than both Alice and I put together, but she'd apparently gotten her way, because Alice and her were marching somewhat determinedly across the street.

I refused to hurry, though. Let the two of them prance across the street and arrive inside Montage sweaty and red. I was going to take my time.

I strutted across the street, issuing myself last minute instructions. No blushing. No stammering. _Cool, calm and collected._

Alice and Bella were standing in front of the door, looking impatient again when I finally made it across the street.

"What?" I said, "I wasn't going to hurry and look all nasty."

Alice simply shrugged, obviously refusing to take the bait. Bella opened the door and I felt my heart start flip-flopping like a fish out of water. I wanted to run out of the restaurant, and screw looking red or breaking a sweat.

Bella approached the hostesses' desk and I forced myself not to look around the dark, crowded room for the Cullen brothers. We would see them when we saw them. _Cool, calm, and collected_, I reminded myself.

I accidentally brushed up against Alice and I swear I felt her quivering. In excitement or with nerves, I wasn't sure, though I had a feeling it was a combination of the two. She'd better appreciate what I was doing for her. Jasper had better be worth me sacrificing every ounce of self-preservation I had.

It seemed like an eternity, but finally a hostess got around to walking us to the table and to the men who were awaiting our arrival. The aisles between tables were narrow, and there were no overhead lights at all, only small candles scattered over every surface, so I couldn't even see where the hostess was taking us. I told myself that this was a good thing. I wouldn't see them before we were nearly upon them, and by then it would be far too late to run away. _Cool, calm and collected._

All of a sudden, Bella and Alice, trailing in front of the hostess, stopped and I almost fell on top of them, so lost was I in my thoughts and in not giving in to utter panic.

I felt my head crane around Bella, completely oblivious to everything my mind was ordering it not to do, and for a split second my heart felt like it stopped beating.

He was sitting right there, a bottle of beer to his lips, and laughing with Jasper and Edward. The only Cullen who had seen us yet was the latter, and Edward was already halfway out of his chair, eyes glued to Bella's graceful form and the coral dress that framed it so beautifully. I could feel Alice practically vibrating in front of me, and I knew she was staring straight at the lean, lanky blond man leaning back in his chair, and who's expression was one of shock, and if I could believe it, dismay.

Before I could even register _why _Jasper would be feeling dismay, I knew Emmet had seen me. All the air in the room seemed to have suddenly disappeared, and I was left taking shallow breaths with not enough oxygen to keep myself from seemingly hyperventilating.

Even with all the frantic noise in the dark room, I still heard him speak, and all the despair I'd harbored since seeing him again two days ago came back in a split second.

"Rosalie?"

My eyes darted to his and I took in his slack-jawed expression of shock. Eat it up, jackass, I thought savagely. I knew the austere black business suit I usually favored, with blond hair up in a bun, hadn't prepared him for the way I looked tonight. I felt a surge of triumph as his eyes glazed over, and I had a feeling I knew exactly what he was thinking of. Not skanky Lauren who'd kissed him that horrible, fateful afternoon, but me. _Me_. As if any man could think of anyone else.

The hostess had long high-tailed it out of there, probably sensing the dramatically emotional undercurrents running through this particular group. I noticed she'd almost dumped the menus on Jasper's lap, though he sure as hell hadn't noticed. His eyes had yet to leave Alice's. Bella had sure been right, and I couldn't believe I hadn't known that for all these years, she'd been pining over _Jasper Cullen_.

Edward led Bella to the chair across from his, and seated her, leaning in slightly to whisper something in her ear. Her bell-like laugh cut through the loud conversational chatter in the room, and again, I felt that thought sneak through me.

"Rosalie."

His voice again, but it was a lot closer this time. I looked around Jasper who'd finally gotten to his feet, and was talking to Alice in hushed tones. She was following him like she was hypnotized and I felt gladness well inside of me. Thank god something good was going to come out of this farce. It was then I realized that Emmett was no longer sitting at the table.

I whirled around and he was right next to me.

"Hi, Rose." Even wearing nearly five inch heels, he still towered over me. If anything, it seemed as if he'd grown since senior year of high school.

I took a deep breath, and felt it whoosh out unsteadily. Hopefully he hadn't heard that.

"Emmett. Nice to see you again." I pasted a fake smile on my face and tried to pretend that I wasn't overjoyed to see him. Tried to pretend that I could have cared less that we were eating a civil meal together.

"You too." His voice had taken on that reverent tone that I remembered all too well. Okay, so he still thought I was beautiful. Big surprise. Every man thought I was beautiful. Emmett, I heard myself wish deep in my heart, please remember all the other reasons you liked me.

It was then he realized that the two of us were still standing in the aisle of the restaurant, and everyone else in our party was seated. Unsurprisingly, we were attracting a significant amount of attention, and it wasn't for the forced politeness that we were exuding. Of course, both of us were long accustomed to being stared at. At least I was. Emmett had always seemed to be more at ease with his looks than I was. It was as if he acknowledged he was genetically blessed then immediately forgot it. I could never manage to completely ignore my own set of blessings, probably because the men around me never could. All the men, that is, except for Emmett Cullen.

"Shall we sit?" he said suavely, recovering from the moment of awkwardness rather remarkably. _Calm, cool and collected._

I didn't reply, not exactly trusting my voice at that particular second, not with him so close and me able to smell him and almost remember the way he tasted.

I sat down, as gracefully as I could, across from him, and took the menu that Alice handed me. I noticed that her hand was shaking but decided to let her off the hook and not mention it. I was supposed to be helping the situation, not hurting it, though who knew what help I was going to be. It wasn't as if I had a successful love life myself.

Edward spoke up, leaning diagonally towards Alice and I, and managing, for the first time in two minutes, to take his eyes off Bella. "Alice, Rosalie, it's been a long time. It's great to see you."

I gave him a slightly frosty nod. After all, he was the one who'd come up with this infantile plan. If he expected gratitude from me, he was missing more than a few brain cells. During the business we'd eventually conduct, I'd be all professional politeness, but there was no way I was going to be all buddy-buddy after hours, no matter how charming his smile. He'd clearly forgotten that I'd been sucked in by a Cullen smile before and had my heart chewed-up and spit out afterwards.

Alice, however, had no such qualms. Good. She _should _be grateful to Edward, I thought with distaste.

"I can't believe we're all together again," she said with a fake note of glee in her voice, and I barely stopped myself from rolling my eyes. As if we'd ever been "all together." This was hardly a big friendly reunion that everyone wanted, though from the looks Bella was sending Edward under her lashes, it was hardly rough for some of us.

But again before the thought could get any farther, I felt Emmett's gaze on me.

"I have to say it, Rose. You look . . .amazing."

Of course I do, pig. I met his eyes straight on, no bullshit, and for one second, let him see all the hatred I'd built up inside of me in the last six years.

He recoiled, and a wide gloating smile spread over my face. I could feel Alice tense next to me, but before she could try to prevent us from bickering, the waiter appeared. So typical. The help in these places never knew when to butt out.

"Can I get anyone a drink?"

* * *

BPOV

I could sure as hell use a drink, I thought, if only to extinguish the flame that had curled through me the minute I'd seen Edward. If only we didn't have to pretend in front of Rosalie and Emmett, though I had a feeling that neither of us were doing a very exemplary job of that so far. I'd barely been able to look away from his dazzling self, and he clearly liked my new coral dress. I beamed at him again before I remembered that I was supposed to be turning that _off_.

Luckily, Rosalie and Emmett seemed pretty occupied in switching off between polite phrases and heated glares. Emmett gazed at Rose like she was a Venus fly-trap and he was the most easily swayed, gullible fly on the planet. She looked ready to either kick his ass or jump him right on the table. I felt a giddiness wash through me at how successful we'd been already. Clearly there was some kind of passion left in that particular corner. Whether it was hate or love remained to be seen.

As for Alice and Jasper, I'd seen her hands shaking, and I couldn't blame her. His dissection of her appearance was pretty complete, and it must be hard on her to endure such scrutiny. I sent Edward a cautioning look. Jasper needed to look more. . .lovestruck. . .and less like he was taking Alice apart molecule by molecule. Of course, maybe that was his way of looking interested. Maybe everything Alice had said about Jasper was still true, and he was socially awkward and unable to flirt properly with a woman.

If that was the case, then Edward and I really had our work cut out for us. Not that I minded at all, sending another flirtatious look to him, under the cover of Rosalie examining the wine list.

God, he really looked hot tonight. I loved the way his bronze hair was just mussy enough to make me think he'd just left my bed. His marble green eyes flashed in response at the look in mine, and I knew exactly what he was thinking. He wanted to get away from these idiots and . . .well. . .I hoped that he wanted to kiss me. Because I'd had a lot of time to think in the last twenty-four hours and for sure, I wanted to kiss him. Screw all my inhibitions and worries. I wanted to indulge, and unfortunately, we weren't going to be able to do that all that easily, at least not in front of Rosalie and Emmett, and I knew that we weren't going to be able to leave them alone for awhile. They'd either kill each other or have mad wild sex, neither which would accomplish our ultimate goal for them.

The waiter had made it around the table. I noticed that Alice had ordered something truly terrifying from the drink menu and I felt a surge of sympathy for her. Having Jasper examine her that thoroughly was likely nerve-wracking. If I was her, I'd also need a lot of liquid courage.

"I'll have a lemon drop." I had to nearly shout at the waiter to be heard. I wondered, yet again, why Edward had picked a restaurant where we could barely be heard over the racket.

A not-awkward silence had descended over the table, probably precipitated by the fact that nobody could have heard anything anyway. Instead, we all seemed to be people-watching, and there were certainly a lot of things to see. Montage was one of my favorite places to go for just that reason. You never came out thinking you'd had a mundane dinner.

But Alice, being Alice, could never stay silent for long.

"So, Emmett," Alice glanced slyly in his direction, "do you boys come here often?"

Emmett looked up from peeling the label off his beer bottle. Rosalie sneered at the scraps of paper littering the table. She was anally neat, and hated littering. Jasper glanced over the offending trash, and oh so casually swept it into a neat pile and hid it behind his wine glass. I breathed a silent prayer of relief. The less things Rose had to pick a fight about, the better. She humphed, and crossed her arms over her not insignificant chest region.

"Once in awhile," he replied, after clearing his throat. If I wasn't mistaken, he was having trouble tearing his eyes from Rosalie to even meet Alice's as he answered her question.

I glanced again at Edward, and tried to communicate with him that something needed to be done. We'd known, of course, that this meeting was going to be awkward, but we'd had no idea how monumentally awkward it would be. We needed to get the focus back on Alice and Jasper before Rosalie and Emmett ended up refusing to do this ever again.

* * *

JPOV

I watched as Bella shot Edward a look that clearly said, "do something, you idiot," and I realized, heart sinking into the floor, that it was high time I pulled some weight here. After all, I was the one who was supposed to be pretending to like Alice so that Emmett and Rosalie wouldn't destroy each other all over again, and the swift kick I got from Edward reminded me that I hadn't exactly done my part.

Fine, I silently fumed, I can do what he wants. After all, I'd come to this restaurant with the idea in mind that I was going to have to act interested in Alice. Not that it was going to be a painful experience. She looked amazing in that dress, the color accentuating the porcelain smoothness of her skin and making me want to. . .God, Jasper, I ranted at myself, this is supposed to be _pretend_, not real. The devil on my other shoulder simply smirked back at me, and said that at least it wouldn't be hard to pretend. . ._because I wasn't pretending_.

I'd been disgusted with myself in high school for having some silly, stupid naïve crush on her. I wanted someone who I could discuss poetry with, who understood the need deep in my soul for stimulating conversation, a true romantic--like me. Alice, with her fashion plate style and focus on all things Cosmopolitan, wasn't my type at all. I cursed myself for being enough of a stupid, testosterone-ridden guy to still lust after her despite knowing my heart ultimately didn't want her.

It wasn't fair to Alice to act interested in high school, so I'd avoided her as much as possible, but I hadn't been able to help watching her, much to my dismay. I knew she'd watched me too, but then we Cullens had cut a pretty devastating streak through Forks High School, breaking hearts right and left, mostly because none of us really wanted to get involved. Emmett was the only one who'd really been interested in actually _doing _something about it, and naturally, that had been with Rosalie. Instead of following in his footsteps, both Edward and I had focused intently on our schoolwork, both trying to graduate with college credits.

I still hadn't found the romantic poet of my dreams, but even more today than in high school, I was convinced it wasn't Alice. I'd heard from Edward that she was a stylist and fashion designer. Definitely not my type of thing, and before this stupid plan, I would have stayed far away from her, but that didn't seem to in the cards now.

I took a deep breath, ignored the good angel on my other shoulder, and started to dance with the devil.

"So, Alice," I said, trying my hardest to be casual, "I hear you're in the fashion business now."

Those dark eyes, so expressive in her pixie face, focused intently on me, and I could nearly hear the gears grinding in her head, so clearly were her thoughts written on her face. She didn't want to answer me. In fact, I could read the struggle on her face. Whether to break down and actually say the first word of the evening to me, or risk Bella and Edward's wrath and continue to ignore me.

Bella must have been scarier than she looked because suddenly, the temper stopped flashing out of her eyes, and the pucker marks in-between smoothed out. "Yes. I'm currently free-lancing. . ."

"AKA money-grubbing," Emmett chortled, interrupting her.

Those fiery eyes immediately descended on him, internally castrating Emmett, I was sure, for his untimely and typically crude interruption. For sure, if Alice had been "high-spirited" in high school--after all, I couldn't ever forget that first day, when she'd confronted me about my assumptions--she'd definitely become a spitfire in the interim.

"For your information," she seethed at Emmett, "yes, what I do is well-paid, but it's for a valuable service that not everyone can do. In fact, one single company can't _afford _to keep me on payroll, that's why I freelance."

I bit back a chuckle as Alice took on Emmett, who was at least twice her height and three times her weight. Despite that I ultimately wanted a girl who was calm and laidback, there was sure something about Alice's intense vitality. The devil would have told me that it was a serious turn-on, but I'd temporarily rendered him mute.

When the waitress showed up with our drinks ten seconds later, I eagerly latched onto my glass of pinot like a drowning man searching for a buoy at sea. Suddenly, what I'd reasoned through while shaving into the bathroom mirror was no longer quite so clear-cut.

_I wanted her. _I wanted all that energy focused on me. The devil whispered that I wanted it focused on me . . ._in bed_. . .but I ignored him, and proceeded to do what I could to catch her attention.

"What companies do you work for?" I asked Alice, looking only at her, trying to somehow communicate how intent I was to know more about her. Thankfully, my intervention had diffused the situation between Emmett and Rosalie and they were both staring, somewhat open-mouthed in my direction, as I did my best to imitate my suave brothers. Edward was beaming, and only halfheartedly trying to pretend that he was watching us. He was clearly on the warpath for Bella, and since she seemed like a very nice girl, I hoped that his attention would last longer than the requisite two weeks.

While Edward had evolved in college, coming into his own with the female sex, I'd still stayed on the fringes, claiming social awkwardness, but that was just a ruse. I kept apart because, still, my true desire was for a soul mate. I didn't want to waste my time on a bunch of unsuitable women. I wanted the one I was waiting for and no others. I felt a streak of remorse stab my heart at what I was about to do with Alice, but I ignored it. It didn't matter that Alice's heart was in her eyes as she watched me. She knew that this was all make-believe and I didn't mean any of it.

Alice rambled on for a good five minutes, talking about her clients, and while I was sure I'd be bored listening to her talk about her work, the passion she had for it won me over. This was something she loved as much as I loved my engineering work, Edward relished sparring in the business world, and Emmett worshipped those rusting hulks of metal he turned into incredibly fast precision machines. I felt my resolve beginning to weaken toward her, listening to the zeal in her voice, and I had to remind myself yet again that fashion was for materialistic snobs who only cared about what was on the inside. _Alice is not for you_.

* * *

BPOV

Our food came and went, and I noticed that the general feeling around the table was increasingly more jovial, and a lot less fraught with tension. Even Rosalie seemed to have relaxed a little, though the two glasses of wine might have had something to do with her mellowing process. Much to my surprise, I watched her order another.

Edward and I had started surreptitiously holding hands under the table after finishing our dinners, and I had a feeling the glowing happiness rushing through me had more to do with my hand in his than the two lemon drops I'd drank. Edward's presence was almost more intoxicating than alcohol.

Emmett leaned back in his chair, and rubbed his stomach. "That was sure good," he announced expansively, barely managing to muffle his burp, "where should we go next?"

Everyone's eyes swiveled to Edward and I thanked Emmett for giving me an excuse to look in his direction. I'd been really trying to not gaze stupidly into those gorgeous green eyes all evening and I had a feeling I'd been failing pretty remarkably. But, I reminded myself, at least I was making an attempt. Besides, Emmett seemed oblivious and Rosalie distracted, just as Alice had predicted. So far, so good.

Alice and Jasper weren't exactly making goo-goo eyes at each other yet, but he'd seemed genuinely interested in her work, taking her seriously, and had listened intently to everything she'd said, offering his opinion as well as asking her a number of questions. In fact, they were the only couple who'd actually managed to carry on any conversation. Edward and I were too busy watching everyone else, and Emmett and Rosalie were both sulking at being forced into a close proximity. I wanted to shake both of them and insist that the reason they were acting this way was because there were still a boatload of unresolved feelings between them. Of course, that way lay disaster.

"ARGHHHHH!!" Rosalie bellowed, her voice reaching operatic proportions.

I jerked up in my chair in surprise at the loud screech and nearly fell over in the process because Edward hadn't managed to let my hand go quick enough.

Rosalie was on her feet, bellowing at the waiter, who in his eagerness to refill her water glass had mistaken her pinot grigio for H20.

"This," she hissed at the poor waiter, who was staring at her with a deer-in-the-headlight expression, "is why using water glasses for wine is a bad idea. Not to mention it's cheap and tacky."

I opened my mouth to try to intervene, but instead Emmett spoke up, his smooth deep voice daring the Rose or the waiter to try to argue with him.

"Rosie, sweetheart. . ." he began, and I heard Alice's sharp intake of breath next to me, "let's just calm down. I'm sure this nice man here will bring you a new glass of wine."

Rose's eyes narrowed into slits and she turned towards Emmett, overeager waiter momentarily forgotten.

"Excuse me, buddy," she snapped, digging a pointed nail into his chest, "you forfeited your rights to helping me a long time ago."

Oh no. _No no no no._ Bringing up the past was definitely a bad idea, and doing it in this way, with Rose already riled up, was even worse. I flashed a quick look of panic at Edward, and he was already on his feet, jovial charming smile in place, ready to diffuse everyone's tempers. I really hoped that he could, but I remembered his confession of a few days ago, and had a sinking feeling that his interference was only going to worsen the situation.

But before Edward could utter a word into the shocked silence, Alice too shot up from her chair and said, "Now, Rose, there's no need to put poor Emmett on the spot like that. Let's just go outside and get some air."

Rose spluttered at Alice's presumption, but Alice was a wily sneak and already had her by the arm, steering her toward the door.

Alice sent me a quick look, clearly telling me to get everyone out of the restaurant and outside as quickly as possible.

I turned toward Edward, but he'd already found a waiter and they were talking in low voices. I saw the server produce a slip and Edward quickly signed it.

He drifted over to my side, and put his arm around me, as Emmett had just left to go to the bathroom. "Are you ready to go?"

I wanted to sink into his arms, but I forced myself to take a step back. Emmett could be back any moment. "The check?"

"Already taken care of."

"Edward," I scolded him, "you need to stop paying for everything."

He threw his hands up in the air. "As if I could stop when all I want to do is impress you."

I laughed at his earnestness. "You already have. Now stop trying so hard," I nudged him playfully, "and maybe I'll like you more."

I turned to grab my purse, and felt him lean over, under the guise of picking up a napkin from the floor. "Witch," he exhaled into my ear, and my knees nearly buckled. I could still feel the hot air of his breath on the sensitive bit of skin right under my ear lobe. Maybe I was playing with fire here, and getting caught would only end up with me burned and wishing I'd never thought I could handle Edward Cullen.

Or, I thought as we waited for Emmett to return from the bathroom, this could also be the liberating experience I'd been unconsciously waiting for.

Jasper cleared his throat, signaling Emmett's return, and Edward looked away from my neck, clearly annoyed at being distracted from seducing me.

Hell, I was annoyed that any progress had again been thwarted, and as we walked outside, I was definitely ready to find a supply closet, or a deserted alley--anything that would allow us just five minutes of alone time.

But as soon as we stepped outside, hiding away from the world and becoming absorbed in each other was clearly not in the cards.

Alice and Rose were loitering around the side of the building, as soon as the four of us came toward them, Rosalie looked up and I was shocked to see the contrite expression on her face.

"I'm sorry about that little. . .scene," she said, meeting everyone's eyes straight on, except for Emmett's. "Let me buy you all a drink, as an apology."

Edward nodded, and I pushed away the stab of disappointment. Maybe he wouldn't be so eager to accept her offer if he really wanted to finagle some alone time with me. Maybe we weren't equally eager for our relationship to turn more. . .physical.

"Where should we go?" Alice asked eagerly.

Jasper, clearly knowing his role in this whole mess, moved to her side and turned his gaze on her. "Wherever you'd like."

Alice beamed at him and I felt a hint of uneasiness. I knew that smile of Alice's, and it wasn't pretend. She wasn't the world's greatest actress, and I could easily tell when she was faking it and when she wasn't. She hadn't faked that smile and she also hadn't faked much of her conversation with Jasper at dinner.

I told myself that Alice was a smart, independent woman and there was no way she'd end up falling for Jasper Cullen when all he was doing was pretending to be interested, but remembering the expression on her face when she'd described him and their past, I wasn't nearly so sure that she'd ever really gotten over him.

"Hmmmmm. How about Kell's?" she asked, beaming into admiration in Jasper's amber eyes, which I had to admit, looked rather genuine on his end. Theoretically, this plan was supposed to reunite Alice and Jasper as well, but I'd refrained from placing much hope on the prospect. Until now, that is. Maybe this could possibly turn out better than even I'd anticipated.

I barely managed to suppress a groan of frustration. I glanced over at Edward and hoped to see a mirror of my own suffering on his face, but instead, it was completely blank. Of course Alice would want to go to some hideously awful singles bar that only pretended to be Irish-inspired.

She had an absolute love for theme bars of any kind and somehow had managed to miss the fact that Kell's was about as Irish as I was. At least there would be a mass of people there, and maybe Edward and I could get lost in the crowd. Alice seemed to be handling Rose better than I'd expected, now if only someone could learn how to handle Alice herself.

We separated from the boys, me hiding my reluctance, and promised to meet downtown.

As we walked to the car, Rosalie said nothing, her lips pursed tightly together and I began to dread the explosion of rage we'd hear from her once we got inside, away from anyone that could hear her.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note:**

A couple of things. First, I have finished BD, and without giving anything away, and I hope not to incur anyone's wrath, but I did love it. It was nothing like I was expecting, but truthfully, that made it even better. If SM had written the story I wanted, it would have been cliched, and boring, and simply a rehash of everything we'd already read.

Second, I have been nominated for TWO awards at The Twilight Awards. For the person who nominated me. . .THANK YOU!! I am so flattered. There's a link in my profile, and voting opens 8/14. I do encourage you to read all the stories, and if you honestly believe that mine is the best, then, yes, please feel free to vote for me. But otherwise, I am just honored to be nominated :)

Third, I have finally updated my profile page with links to the story that this time, I SWEAR will not break. If you want to see the girls' outfits from the date, or even pics of the places they go in Portland, check it out!

Fourth, this chapter is probably one of my favorites so far. While reading, it really helps to listen to the song that kind of inspired it. It's "Amber" by the band 311 (which is kind of a shout-out to my bf, who loves them almost as much as I love Twilight). There's a link on my profile to the youtube video, so check it out!

Lastly (yes, finally, I know), thanks for all your reviews (though a few of you seem to be MIA--if you are unhappy with a direction this is going, just let me know, I am always open to suggestions), and thank you also to my betas: tamelaine, Theresa, CallistoLexx, and Madeleine (who is in Paris. are we all very jealous? yes).

* * *

BPOV

We were obviously running behind the boys, despite Rosalie's manic driving skills, because when we showed up at the door of Kell's, loud music pulsing out from behind the bouncer, the muscle-bound man had motioned us right in, mumbling something about having our cover already paid.

Alice led the way, and the three of us strutted into the two-room bar. Rose craned her neck above the mass of people and looked for Emmett, Jasper and Edward. I tried to help her, though I knew her height would be a lot more useful in this particular situation. Alice didn't try all, simply looking straight forward, tapping one foot on the ground, clearly annoyed that getting all six of us together was taking this long.

Finally, Rose let out a grumble and I knew she'd found them. We maneuvered towards a bank of booths on one side of the room, opposite the bar, and sure enough, all three of them were smashed onto one of the benches.

We settled in, Rosalie bitching about the smallness of the booth. I wanted to turn to her and bitch right back that the fact we had a booth at all in this crowded bar was as a minor miracle. But, at that particular moment, I was particularly mesmerized by how handsome Edward looked in this light, in particular his spectacular green eyes. By the way he was looking right back, my feelings might have even been mutual.

"Can someone," Jasper asked, nearly shouting to be heard over the pounding music, "please tell me why this _Irish _bar is playing clichéd top forty hits?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Occasionally they'll have some live musicians that aren't bad, and every St. Paddy's Day they host a huge three block-wide blowout party. Unfortunately the current crowd couldn't tell the Pogues from Flogging Molly."

Edward's eyes, which had been scanning the crowd, swiveled back to mine. "You know the Pogues?" he asked, surprise in his voice.

I wasn't sure if it was positive or negative surprise, so I took my normal stance: defensive. "Believe it or not, some Irish punk is not Dropkick Murphy's bad.

Edward shook his head, amazement blooming over his features. "And she even likes Irish punk," I thought I heard him mumble to himself, but the music was far too loud for me to even begin to hear him clearly.

The waiter came by to get our drink orders, but right as he was leaving the music segued into 311's "Amber," all sugary and fluffy tropical goodness.

Jasper rolled his eyes at the DJ's song choice, but I noticed that he did it when Alice was momentarily distracted. Another point for Jasper.

He was clearly in the mood for sucking up, because he sent a soulful look in Alice's direction, and said, "would you like to dance, Alice?"

Naturally, this was exactly the kind of moves he should be making, but Alice's expression didn't reflect that. There was shock, surprise, and nearly. . .glee. She bounced up from the bench, and sashayed toward the dance floor, Jasper following close behind, never taking his eyes from her swaying hips.

Edward nudged my foot under the table and slid his eyes quickly to the dance floor. I felt a wave of pure happiness surge through me. Despite that this bar was _full _of people, they were all strangers. We could get lost in the mass of people and dance. . .

Silently agreeing, we both slid out of the booth, leaving Rosalie and Emmett behind, to their awkward and tension-filled silence.

The music pulsed around us, as Edward grabbed my hand and fireworks shot up my arm. I thought that maybe he'd have to touch me about a million times, in about a million places, to get used to the way his skin felt on mine.

He maneuvered us through the crowd, carefully finding a path that meant the least amount of wiggling and shoving for me. It wasn't enough, I thought while admiring the view, that he had possibly the greatest ass on the planet, but he was considerate too. My heart stuttered as he glanced back, as if he couldn't bring himself to look away from my face for a single moment. Our eyes met, and I knew that he couldn't deny me my long-awaited kiss much longer. The desire for it was written all over his face, and in the way his eyes flashed emerald fire at me.

When we finally stopped pushing our way through the crowd, we were on the other side of the room. Rose and Emmett couldn't possibly see us. Jasper and Alice had long been absorbed in the crowd. We were, despite being surrounded by probably two hundred people, effectively alone.

Edward let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around me. Knees more than a little weak, I melted into him. Slowly we began to move to the laidback beat. I'd never thought of this song as particularly sexy but with his hips rubbing in sync with mine, I couldn't deny the undeniable pull of the music or of him.

My hands crept up his back, trying to memorize the way the muscles bunched underneath my fingers, and loving the way he almost shivered at my touch.

Edward's free hand, that wasn't attached to the arm that hooked around my waist and every beat drew me closer, wove its way through my hair.

"So soft," he leaned down to whisper in my ear. This time it was me trembling both from the emotion in his eyes and from the way that his body felt pressed so close to mine. I felt overwhelmed by the sensations surrounding me. Never in a million years had I ever thought something like this would happen to me.

His hand stroked my hair again and I tried desperately not be touched by the tenderness in his touch. It would be so much easier if I could stop thinking he was already emotionally involved with me. We didn't know each other at all. Any feelings either of us had were base, animal attraction. Simple enough. Nothing deeper.

As if he too needed the reminder, his head drifted back down to my ear, and instead of whispering again, he blew gently on the coils of my ear, immediately and instantaneously setting me on fire. I wiggled closer to him and I thought I might have heard him groan in frustration.

"God, Bella, you are so. . ." he threw his head slightly back and I couldn't prevent the giggle that escaped me.

"I was right, you're a first class witch. Enchanting me," he mumbled. "You need to turn that off."

As if that was going to happen. If he was truly enchanted, then I was going to do anything in power to turn it up a few notches. I needed a kiss out of this man and _soon_. I felt as if I were starving to death and he was a full Thanksgiving dinner, ready to be consumed.

I licked my lips, imagining the saltiness of the gravy and stuffing, the sweet tartness of cranberries, the softness of the tender turkey.

Edward groaned again. "I can't," he bit off, "take much more of this, you know."

And before I could even think of what he could possibly mean, his lips were on mine, and they were so much better than gravy or stuffing or cranberry sauce. They were even better than turkey.

I was worried he'd try to pull some soft, sentimental kiss, but he'd clearly read my mind because this was anything but gentle.

He'd grabbed me hard and firmly, possessively, passionately laid siege to my lips. In the face of such an onslaught, there was nothing to do but grant him access. I opened my lips slightly, and before I could even prepare for how incredibly sensual it felt to be kissing him this deeply, his tongue was already caressing mine.

All I could think was that this man _could kiss _and I wound myself around him even tighter, hoping against hope that we could maybe stay like this for, I don't know, the next ten years or so.

Edward pulled away first, and I could hear both of our gasps for air. He ran a hand through his hair and I felt a twinge in my heart. . ._mine_. Why had I been so absorbed with his beautifully muscled back when I could have been running my hands through his hair? Obviously he'd completely rattled me. I told myself that if the kiss had been that incredible on my end, surely it hadn't been so bad on his, and if it hadn't been, hopefully he'd want to do it again.

Maybe, I thought with giddy abandon, I should make sure and check before I made any silly assumptions.

I laced my fingers through his hair, thinking that if my hair was soft, his was like an angora blanket—but _oh so much better_—and brought his lips to mine. This kiss was all me, as the last had been all his. A tiny groan escaped out of me when he granted me access to his delicious mouth, and then all of a sudden, the kiss wasn't mine anymore, it was _ours_. Our tongues tangled together hotly and as if it were even possible, he used both hands to pull me even tighter to his body.

The kiss gradually faded into small caresses of my lips on his, and his lips on mine, before we reluctantly pulled apart again. I was breathing heavily and there was fire instead of blood in my veins. I take that back, I thought hazily, he was an _amazing _kisser. That thought almost sent me right back to my new favorite candy store, but I stopped myself just in time.

Edward let out an unsteady breath and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear with what I thought was a trembling hand. Had I affected him as much as he'd affected me? I really, _really _hoped so.

"Bella. . ." he began, and I took great comfort in the fact that his voice was gravelly rough with desire, "unless you want me to take you right here on the dance floor, we need to stop."

A thrill ran through my body, and instinctively I knew he was right. I'd never felt more. . .desperate. . .for a man in my entire life. And not just any man. This man.

Edward's gaze was scorching, and the expression in his eyes was nearly unbearable. I'd start tearing his clothes off myself if he didn't stop looking at me that way.

I blushed and looked away. There were a whole host of scenarios I was currently picturing, the most innocent of which involved clothes coming off. Thank god he couldn't see inside my mind. He'd probably never recover from how innocent I looked on the outside and how dirty-minded I was on the inside.

"Bella," he said, pulling up my chin with his hand. He let his thumb rub the sensitive skin for a moment, "I'm all for anything you're imagining, but I don't want to rush you, and I'm certainly not going to ravish you in a public place."

"Ravish, huh?" I responded, batting my eyes at him.

"You have no idea," Edward growled, pulling me toward him again.

"Then why don't you tell me?"

He held my gaze for a fraction of a second, then glanced away. "I have a lot of self-control, but there's just something about you that seems to shred it to pieces."

I smiled. "Why don't we just dance then?"

"Later. Let's go see if Rose and Emmett have killed each other first."

I nodded, barely able to hide my disappointment, as he held out a hand for me. I took it and we wound our way back through the crowd.

* * *

EmPOV

Alice and Jasper quickly departed the booth, followed by Edward and the pretty Bella. He was obviously making a major move on her, but if Rosie was oblivious, who was I to fill her in. All four of them had clearly wanted to leave the two of us alone together, though I had a feeling that it was a bad idea, from the way that Rosalie had been sending me death glares all evening.

And who was I to argue with her not to? I deserved all of them. I deserved, completely and utterly, her complete hatred for all time. I'd known exactly what was happening between the two of us in high school. I'd felt myself falling for her, not slowly, but so rapidly that sometimes it was all I could do to keep my head above the rapids that seemed so eager to drown me.

Of course, I'd known how she felt about me. For a girl who acted as if she didn't have a care in the world and that she didn't care about anyone in it, she sure wore her heart on her sleeve when it came to me. Not that I'd minded. Her love and trust had filled me with a feeling of invincibility like none I'd ever known. Maybe that was why I'd reluctantly taken Edward's bet. I hadn't really wanted to, at the time. My mind and heart and pants were filled with thoughts of Rosie, day and night, and the idea of kissing _any _other girl had been abhorrent, but like a stupid testosterone-laded ass, I'd done it anyway.

Naturally Edward had reassured me that nobody would ever know, and I'd stupidly, foolishly believed him. It wasn't until later, a good year after, when Edward had found me in a bad moment and realized I was still beating myself up, that he'd confessed to doing it on purpose.

I smiled then, remembering that day, when I'd kicked the crap out of poor little Eddie so utterly he hadn't been able to leave his bed for days.

Naturally, I'd apologized to Rose the moment after she'd seen Lauren and I. I'd run after her, begging and pleading, but of course, she hadn't listened. Six years later, I still wished that I could beg and plead, but the truth was, I felt a masochistic need to _not _pursue Rose because after that terrible stunt, how could I possibly ever deserve her?

I deserved to be miserable forever, dating self-centered, shallow, vain women who couldn't know the real me even if I wanted them to.

Because the only woman who'd ever known the real me, besides my mother, was sitting across from me, staring at her fingernails like they were the most interesting thing on earth.

Yes, she was still incredibly beautiful, but that was probably the one thing I missed the least about her. She could have looked like a tramp on the street, and I would have loved her regardless.

Her beauty was just one facet of her incredible person, and while it was the most noticeable to everyone else on the planet, I'd nearly forgotten how gorgeous she was. That is, until she walked into the restaurant tonight and _all _of me remembered how much I'd used to like looking at her.

She looked up then, straight at me, and the blueness of her eyes made me catch my breath. She seemed a whole lot less pissed off, and I thought desperately, please stay angry. _You buckle toward me and I'll give in to the worst part of myself: the part that wants you back, desperately, despite everything that I've done to hurt you_.

"So," Rosalie said, "what did you do to your hand?" Her voice was bored and uninterested but I knew what kind of debate she must have had in her mind over speaking to me. Clearly, she'd wanted to leave me in uncomfortable silence, but curiosity had won over in the end.

I glanced at my hand. It was lightly wrapped, and nobody else had mentioned it this evening. I guessed that probably Bella knew the truth of what I'd done, but I had a pretty good idea she'd told Alice too. Obviously Rosie was the only one who'd been kept in the dark. Now the question was if she should stay in the dark or if I should tell her how upset I'd been with Edward and his "plans."

The part of me that desperately still wanted punishment for what I'd done six years ago won out.

"I punched a wall."

Rose had gone back to examining her perfectly painted and groomed fingernails, clearly not expecting anything interesting to come out of my mouth. Her eyes met mine again, and if I wasn't mistaken they gleamed with mischief and surprise.

She laughed, and it was genuine and full and such a turn-on I had to recite a few baseball stats just to keep myself in line.

"Why am I not surprised?" She said, shaking her head in disbelief.

The side of me that wanted to punish myself until the end of time finally stopped putting up a fight and I leaned forward, taking in the incredible way she smelled. God, I loved this woman. How had I lived without her?

"But you're not."

Obviously deciding I'd gotten too close, Rose leaned back, and sent me a calculating expression.

"You were obviously incredibly pissed about something. You have a temper, but it has a pretty long, slow fuse. . ." she pondered, more to herself than to me. I didn't need her telling me all of this. I was just worried she'd accidentally stumble on the real reason for me punching a wall. I could only imagine what she'd say if she knew what had really happened.

She raised one perfect eyebrow at me and I forced my expression to remain calm and unchanged. She'd been able to read me like a book at one time, but that was six years ago. Don't tell me she'd retained the ability.

"You know what I think, Emmett?" Rosalie said, leaning toward me again, and sending every part of my body into hyperdrive.

"I'm dying to know what you think, Rosie," I replied, moving a bit closer myself.

We were now almost nose to nose, and I was lost in the glory of those incredible aquamarine eyes. So lost that the import of her words didn't even hit me right away.

"Emmett," she sighed, "if you were so upset, you should have told me and I would have done something. Anything. You didn't need to hurt yourself."

My heart stuttered in my chest and the masochistic beast inside me bellowed that I was on dangerous ground.

I reverted to the cocky, overly self-assured route I knew she hated. Anything to stop that sympathy from brimming in her eyes one second longer and seriously weakening my resolve to stay far, far away from her.

"Believe me, this had nothing to do with you, Rosalie," I boasted.

She glared at me and if I wasn't mistaken I saw a tiny bit of hope fade from her eyes and in its place, in crept disappointment. I felt unmanned by the way she clearly still felt about me, and, in the same moment, utterly angry at myself for leading both of us on still.

Of course, she'd _wanted _me to have gotten this angry over her, I berated myself. She wanted proof that I still felt something for her, and here I'd gone, nearly giving it to her. I knew Rosie well enough to know that if she, for one second, knew how I still felt, I'd never be able to push her away. Rosalie, I had to constantly remind myself, deserved better than me.

Again, the uncomfortable silence descended between us, and I clenched and re-clenched my good fist under the table. Never had I felt more awkward around a member of the opposite sex: only Rose could undo me this completely.

She turned her gaze back to the table, reminding me less of the sophisticated businesswoman she was now, and more of the eager, nearly self-conscious girl she'd been back in high school.

Of course, she would never admit she'd been the latter, I wryly thought. Rosalie had acted supremely confident—so self-assured that nobody could see what she was hiding underneath. Nobody except for me. I was fated, or doomed you might say, to understand her just as well as she understood me.

I really hoped that _someone _else would be coming back to the table soon, because I honestly wasn't sure how much self-mutilation I could take for the evening. I fingered the label on the bottle of beer I was holding, and glanced at her. The cool mask was back in place, but, god knows why, even that didn't stop me.

I couldn't even stop myself. I was beginning to realize that she was the personal burden I'd have to bear forever.

"Would you like to dance?"

Her stunned expression nearly finished me. If I'd needed any proof before now that she still cared, her heart was in her eyes now. I knew she was going to say yes, and I nearly cringed at how _stupid _I was. It was hard enough to sit here, with an expanse of hardwood between us. Dancing close to her would be the most amazingly painful torture. To be able to touch her, but not to enjoy it—that would be hell.

But to my surprise, Rosie's expression turned from astonishment into something else entirely.

"I'd rather get a root canal instead," she sneered. I sent up a silent prayer, not knowing whether to relieved or disappointed. Typically, I thought, she was a hell of a lot smarter than I was.

* * *

APOV

When Jasper crooned to me in that incredibly sexy voice of his, all I could do was nod hopelessly and follow him. So that's what I'd done, even though I had a feeling that dancing with him would feel like being led to water, but never allowing myself to drink.

As if I needed another reminder that this was all a stupid act, Jasper positioned us within eyesight of the table with Emmett and Rosalie. Of course, I told myself, we were supposed to be falling for one another. Too bad I was the world's most monumental idiot and _I'd already fallen_.

We swayed in time to the music, and I could sense rather than see, Jasper inching closer and closer me. Finally, he clasped one hand around my waist and, _I couldn't help myself_, I leaned toward him.

Never before had we been so close together. Every time his leg brushed mine, I could feel little explosions of lust snaking their way up my body.

Jasper, clearly still not having improved his social skills from high school, decided to pick the moment when I was nearly melting into him to make some more pointed observations about the music. Didn't he know what dancing entailed? Not commenting about the music, but _moving _to it.

Not that he exactly stopped dancing while he asked, but I had to remove my mind from venturing into his pants, and actually try to formulate complete sentences.

"As a musician, Alice," he began, sounding more official than a whole boatload of CEOs, "I find it truly odd that an _Irish _bar would choose to play reggae. The two genres, despite being both expressions of native culture, have very little in common."

I stiffened in his arms. Jasper's infuriatingly superior attitude was pissing me off. I couldn't disagree with his conclusions, though this slow, upbeat, nearly romantic, reggae was a lot more danceable than Irish music, especially the Irish punk that Bella liked so much. Still, he hadn't had to sound like such a priggish snob. _Except, _I reminded myself, _that's Jasper's particular MO._

I moved away from him slightly, in annoyance at both him for being an ass, and at myself for liking his asinine qualities just a little too much.

But Jasper was clearly having none of me moving away, because he abruptly pulled me flush with his long, lean, muscled body.

I almost started to splutter at him, but he quickly placed one finger on my closed lips.

"Now Alice," he said, his voice again morphing into that smooth, suave stranger that was 180 degrees different than the professor I'd seen earlier, "it's a little too early to be having a lover's spat. Dance closer." The last was both an admonition and a seduction, all at the same time, and the combination made my knees weaken.

I inched even closer, the whole time reading myself the riot act for giving into his demands so easily, but I seemed pretty helpless to resist his particular pull.

I was trying to decide what to say next to him, because really, I was unused to making polite conversation while dancing. I thought for a split second that maybe we could just continue, practically dancing cheek-to-cheek, in comfortable silence, but Jasper, ever the social klutz, spoke up again.

"Even though I find it's completely out of place here, I do like this song, though."

I tried really hard not to roll my eyes, and instead, met those amber eyes with a direct stare.

"You like reggae?" I asked, skeptically.

His back stiffened immediately and I took this opportunity to move back just a fraction from his body, even though my fingers were itching to finally discover if his muscles felt as good as they looked.

"Alice," he said with a clearly false note of patience in his voice, "believe it or not, there's a lot about me that you don't know."

I wondered when he was going to find out that his patronizing attitude always brought out the snot in me.

I tossed my head, and snapped back. "I was just trying to make polite conversation, since you know, you seem to like _talking _more than _dancing_."

Jasper opened and closed his mouth several times, clearly wanting to throttle me, but knowing that within the parameters of our plan, this was impossible. A ribbon of irresponsible glee snaked through me.

"Let's just dance, damnit it," he finally ground out, purposefully avoiding looking at me while he said. He also seemed to realize that I'd moved away again, and he wrapped a strong arm around my waist and dragged me back to him. "Why don't you just _stay put_."

I glared at him. "Maybe you repulse me."

"Someone should really muzzle you, you know?"

"I'd love to see you try."

Our exchange, which had started out with bitchy sneers, had descended into playful banter again. I breathed a silent sigh of relief. I hadn't pushed him too far yet. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Rose and Emmett were intently focused on one another, lips moving fast. I couldn't tell if they were flirting or fighting from this distance.

"Maybe," I offered, hesitantly, "we should go back and see if Rose and Emmett are still in one piece."

"Good idea," Jasper replied, shortly. I knew I'd pushed him as far as I possibly could in this particular moment, and I tried to not rejoice at my ability to get under his skin. Annoying him was not the same as him liking me, I told myself. No need to get worked up—the only time he'd even tried to be nice was when he was sticking, somewhat inconsistently, to that _stupid _plan.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author Note:**

So this is not at all what I'd been intending to write in chapter 13, but sometimes an idea just grabs you and you can't shake it off. And let me tell you, this idea was so good there was no way I'd want to. I just kind of embraced it and went there, and I think you're all going to enjoy it.

This is where I remind you all that yes, though it may not have seemed like it in chapters 1 - 12, this is a NC-17 (M) story.

To "get in the mood" (so to speak), you may want to check out Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall Pt 2." I listened to it extensively while writing this and it just seems to fit (you'll get why shortly). I also listened to Motley Crue. . .though I can't really think of why that would work in this story, but there it is anyway. **Links in my profile.**

Thanks to my betas: the amazing, stupendous **tameleine**, **Madeleine** (who is almost back from Paris!), **CallistoLexx** (enjoy BD!), and **Theresa** (the smut fairies do deserve a promotion, I agree). Thanks also to the great ladies over at Twilighted--it is partly in response to them that this was born.

* * *

APOV

"Ms. Brandon?"

The man's voice was low, deep, and undeniably in charge. My head shot up from the scarred and graffiti-covered wooden desk, and I felt a wave of shame stain my cheeks. I'd been daydreaming _again,_ and like always, he had caught me, red-handed.

"Yes, Professor?" I met his amber eyes with my gray ones, and tried to mold my expression into something resembling remorse. Obviously I wasn't successful because he sighed, and unfolded his long body from the wooden chair behind his desk. Uh oh, I was in for it now.

"Would you be so kind as to come up here? I have a few . . .questions to ask you."

The professor was always so serious, and he looked especially serious now--grave almost. Like I had killed his dog.

I stood up, and felt the hem of my plaid skirt tickle my bare upper thighs. I felt it continue to sway back and forth, the hem flipping up just slightly, as I made my way to the front of the nearly-empty classroom.

His eyes on me were intent, never leaving my face, though for approximately half a second, I thought I saw them dart to the waving hem of my pleated skirt. Just the thought that I'd caught him sent a minute shiver down my spine. I must be wrong. The Professor would never, _ever_, dare to look at my bare legs.

I came to a stop directly in front of him, and met his gaze, as boldly as I dared.

"Ms. Brandon, you've been spacing off again."

I ducked my head. He knew my flaws so well--better than almost anyone else--and he knew exactly how to straighten them out, too.

"I know," I nearly whispered, afraid to meet his condemning gaze. I hated it when I disappointed him. _Ha_, my conscience argued, _you disobey just for the sake of what's going to happen next_. I resolutely ignored the voice.

"Come here," the Professor said again, his voice growing softer and less irate, "and stand by me."

I walked even closer to him until I would only have to reach out my hand to touch him, and I let my eyes drift up his long, leanly-muscled form. _If _I let myself think of the Professor in that way, _which I would never do cross my heart and hope to die_, he was insanely good looking, all chiseled cheekbones, rumpled blond hair, and deeply-set hooded eyes. _Bedroom eyes, _I thought before I could stop myself.

In fact, now that I let myself consider the Professor as a _man_, with the tailored suit and tie notwithstanding, he could have just rolled out of bed. Or maybe that was just the sleepy way he was regarding me, as I stood there in front of him.

"I need to make sure you didn't miss key points of the lecture," he stated, moving his jacket flap so he could rest a hand on his hip.

"Yes, Professor," I murmured, trying to keep my expression neutral.

His amber eyes burned hot whenever I used his name. I wondered if me saying it gave him the same sexual high it gave him whenever he heard it. There was something so inherently _bad _about thinking how much I'd like to see more of him. I wanted to be the hand that rested on the side of his torso.

Shaking the thoughts from my head, I tried to return his intent gaze, and only managed with a slight blush.

The heat in his eyes grew, and I tried to feel even the slightest bit of embarrassment that he knew exactly what I was thinking, but I couldn't. There was no denying I liked it.

"Alice, Alice, Alice," he said musingly, my name rolling off his lips like his favorite treat, "you need to behave so we can verify you were following my lecture."

"Of course," I managed to force out from between lips that were suddenly more eager to do . . ._other _things.

"Now," the Professor continued, "let's see. How shall we do this? I want to make sure you stay suitably. . ._involved _in the exercise, so let's have you sit on this desk here." He pointed to the expansive wooden desk behind him.

I walked over to it, passing by him close enough that if I had stumbled even a little, I would have smacked my much-shorter head right into his broad chest, not that this would have been a disastrous state of affairs.

Unfortunately, I made it to the desk with no mishaps. Standing next it, I eyed it dubiously.

"It's. . .awfully tall, don't you think?"

He made a show of examining it for about thirty seconds, then came to the same conclusion I had.

"Here, let me help you up," he murmured, quickly crossing to my side and standing directly in front of me, so close I could feel the heat from his body seeping into mine.

Slowly, carefully, almost as if he were memorizing every brush of his skin on mine, even through the fabric, the Professor slid his hands down each side of my torso, coming to rest right where my slim hips grew wider. His fingers curled, pressing into me, his big hands nearly spanning my waist. He was only half a hand away from my ass, and I felt the breath hitch in my throat.

"So small," he whispered, almost to himself, and then he lifted me, like I was a feather, onto the desk.

His hands drifted away--reluctantly, I imagined--his long tapered fingers brushing the soft cashmere of my tight sweater.

My eyes drifted closed at the contact, brief as it was, and they only opened again when I felt, rather than heard, him move away from me.

"Professor?" I asked nervously, seeing that he'd disappeared from my line of vision.

"Behind you, Alice, just getting some questions to ask you."

"Questions," I stammered, "I don't know. . ."

"Now Alice," the Professor asked firmly, coming into view again, and nearly dazzling me with his blond gorgeousness, "we need to verify if you can perform under pressure. Especially with all your fantasizing."

I could only helplessly nod my agreement. I was completely at his mercy.

"First off, I think a reward system would help you be more comfortable. After each correct answer, I'll give you a surprise. If you get an answer wrong. . ." he trailed off.

I felt panic well through me. "What happens if I get an answer wrong?"

The Professor smiled widely, and lust spiked through me.

"Professor?"

"If I told you Alice," he said, leaning towards me, close enough that our lips could almost touch, "it wouldn't be an appropriate punishment."

He paused to take in my wide-eyed glance. "Perhaps it would be easier for you if you closed your eyes."

I immediately obeyed, shutting them and dousing my world in blackness. I missed seeing him, but his voice alone was so sensual and deep that even only hearing him seemed to exacerbate my arousal instead of calm it.

"Where shall we begin? Ah yes, the Civil War."

I squirmed, feeling the moisture begin to gather between my thighs and hoping fervently he wouldn't notice when I moved from the desk. The skirt that went with my uniform was so short it fanned out behind me instead of allowing me to sit on it.

I didn't know very much about the Civil War, or history at all. I really should have been paying attention, but how could I? He was so wonderful to look at, to hear, to think about. . .I hadn't been able to help myself, really.

I would tell him all of this, naturally--that my inattention to the lecture was his fault, but he was so powerful and strong, I was afraid to contradict. I would simply endure my punishment in silence.

The Professor cleared his throat, and began. "Alice, could you please tell me how many states ended up seceding from the Union?"

From the way his voice sounded, he had again moved close to me. If my senses could be believed, he was almost more than close. He was practically on top of me. I breathed in a little too deeply, and immediately my mind was full of only the way he smelled and I couldn't even remember what the Civil War was.

I must have looked pretty blank at that moment—that, or shell-shocked—because the Professor laughed.

"Do you even have an answer for me, Alice?" he asked.

I knew exactly what I had for him, but it wasn't exactly an answer to his question.

"Uhhhhh," I hesitated. It was in that moment I remembered that he had never told me what would happen if I couldn't answer a question correctly, and my heartbeat accelerated out of control. What he was going to do to me if I couldn't answer? Actually, I reconsidered, what was he _not _going to do to me if I couldn't answer?

"Alice," he said, his voice a final warning to not take this seriously at my own peril.

I desperately tried to think of a number that seemed reasonable, and during that last frantic thought process, he closed the last bit of distance between us.

His hand, with those fantasy-inducing fingers, came to rest on my bare knee. His other hand mirrored his initial action, and so slowly that my heart threatened to beat out of my chest, he slowly spread my legs apart.

The dark world around me exploded into flames and I let my eyelids flicker open a little, in the hopes of finding out what he had planned for me.

"That," his voice breathed into my ear, "is absolutely not allowed. Answer the question, Alice."

My hands rose in near-supplication, but instead of moving through the empty air, they brushed against a hard and undeniably chiseled chest. I gasped. He was standing right _there_, inbetween my splayed legs.

Before I could even speak a word of protest, I felt his hot breath on my neck.

"I'm going to give you approximately five more seconds to procrastinate. No more."

"Fine," I huffed as well as I could with a man between my legs, "eleven." I tried to sound as confident as possible, but I was sure I was wrong.

I felt rather than heard the Professor's chuckle, the air tickling the tiny hairs on my neck.

"You are one lucky girl," he teased right into my ear.

"Am I?" I was automatically holding my breath, not sure whether I'd need the residual oxygen or not. Of course this all depended on if I was right or wrong.

"Alice," his voice teasingly caressed, "I'm flattered. You _were _paying attention."

"Does this mean I get off?" I asked, as innocently as possible.

"No," he suddenly growled. "This means that you get a surprise."

Before I could even ask what the surprise was, I felt him breathe a little unsteadily on the outer whorls of my ear. That alone made me practically melt into him, but then his tongue began to trace the exact same path and I nearly slumped against him.

Just when I'd started to enjoy it, he abruptly stopped. "Next question," he breathed into my tortured ear.

If that was the surprise, I almost _wanted _to feel what the punishment was. Surreptitiously, I peaked out of my closed eyelids, hoping to get an eyeful of him before he noticed. Unfortunately, he was staring right at me, with a "we are not amused" expression on his face. I snapped my eyes shut again.

He sighed. "Before the next question, we need to make sure you stop cheating."

"Cheating?" I asked, but was met with only the sound of silk slipping through cloth.

I couldn't figure out what it was exactly until I felt the silk drift against my cheek and pull tight around my eyes. More slippery sounds and an abject blackness made it clear what he'd done. He'd blindfolded me with his tie! I'd be pissed if it wasn't so incredibly hot.

I reached my hands out frantically, trying to find him, but he was nimble and slithered out of my grasp.

"Next question." His voice was inexorable, and I slumped a little in disappointment. My body was on fire and there was no way I'd ever be able to answer any other questions. That had just been a very good guess, and I'd never get that lucky again.

I was right. I had no answer to who the Confederate Vice President was. I had to prevent myself from nearly moaning in frustration, except when I felt him move close again and I strained toward him. Between the time I'd been closing my eyes and having them closed for me, I'd gotten a little better at sensing his spatial nearness to me.

"You're going to have to behave, Alice, or I'll tie you down." He sounded dead serious, but I decided to play it off like he hadn't just sent a hot wave of molten lust through me.

"With what? You already used your tie."

The professor had to chuckle at that, except it wasn't good-natured or teasing. "Sometimes I forget how innocent you are." My eyes would have widened if not for the tie that was covering them. "Silly Alice, I'd just use my belt."

My jaw dropped. I knew he was dead serious. I was so screwed.

"You'd better close your mouth, Alice, or I'm going to have to put my tongue in it," he teased silkily.

"Why don't you then?" I purred seductively, opening it just a bit farther and wiggling my own tongue at him.

There was only silence. I wondered if I'd finally gone too far. The sex-craved monster inside of me argued that it was impossible to push him too far. He _wanted _me.

Finally, he spoke again, and his voice was rough. "I see that we're going to have to implement some serious behavioral education. I was being way too easy on you before. Stand up," he growled at me.

I slid off the desk, nearly moaning when the teasing friction between the hard wood of the desk and my lace panties ended.

"Now turn around," he barked. I promptly obeyed, not taking a single chance to anger him any further.

"Good. Lean over."

I hesitated, knowing that if I did what he wanted, my plaid skirt would barely cover my butt.

"Alice," he said, warningly, his voice growing darker.

I abandoned any thoughts of modesty and leaned over, my cheek brushing the desk. I could sense him behind me, but I wasn't sure how close he was until I felt those heart-stopping fingers creep up my right leg.

I could tell by the way that his fingers brushed the skin on my leg, all the way up to nearly the top of my thigh, that my skirt had long since passed modesty. Honestly, with his hands on my bare skin, tracing and feeling the softness, I could have cared less.

Finally, his hands reached the top of my thigh, and I trembled, trying to muffle any moans into the wood of the desk. Clearly, he was intending to take his time, and I refused to do anything to make this go any slower than it already was.

"Alice," he breathed out, "you've been a very, _very _bad girl."

I mumbled my assent, too far gone to even consider using whole words. God, why didn't he just get on with it? I didn't know how much more of his infernal teasing I could take.

Slowly, he traced a line up my thigh to the very edge of the lace cheeky panties I wore. This time I couldn't hold back my gasp.

"So, _so _bad," the Professor growled.

"Yes," I ground out, desperation ringing through my voice. Maybe my assent would convince him to _get on with it_. I wiggled my butt almost instinctively. I needed his hands on me again.

Finally, after what felt like a lifetime but what was likely only seconds, those miraculous fingers returned and this time, they landed right where I wanted them to, right in the perfect place. . .

"Alice?" I heard the voice, from a distance, and it wasn't the Professor's. _No_, I told myself, a _little bit longer_.

"God, Jasper yes," I groaned as his fingers slid up and down, and I ground into them. His touch was still teasing rather than gratifying, and I wanted _more_.

"Alice!" The voice was definitely not going to go away. In fact, it was louder and a lot closer.

"Please Jasper," I whimpered, "make her go away."

Unfortunately, the interloper had no intention of leaving.

"Alice? Alice!"

Suddenly the room was bright, way too bright, and when I opened my eyes, I felt blinded by it. Almost instinctively I reached toward my face, hoping to still find the tie still there.

Nope. Damn it all.

Replacing possibly the hottest fantasy of Jasper ever was me envisioning flogging Bella to a slow and painful death.

Her voice was amused and I wanted to throttle the teasing note out of it. "Were you talking about Jasper in your sleep?" she asked, even though she already knew the answer.

I felt her sit down at the foot of the mattress, and I nearly groaned in frustration. Never again would she be able to tell me that I picked the most inopportune moments to interrupt. Bella was easily the new Queen of Interruptions. She had just ruined possibly the hottest, best sex dream ever.

Almost ever, I amended. No sex had actually occurred. I groaned again and tossed a pillow over my head, hugging it close.

"Bella," I mumbled into it, "please leave. Let me finish."

"Finish what?" Bella was definitely feeling too pleased with herself this morning. She knew exactly what she'd interrupted and she was gloating. Stupid Bella.

I loosened my grip on the pillow, just enough so that I could glare at her out of the slits that were my eyes this morning.

She was definitely having way too much fun, as she continued to laugh. "Really, Alice, you shouldn't be ashamed of having sex fantasies about Jasper. After all," she guffawed, "you're supposed to like him anyway."

I thought about saying I hadn't been having a sex fantasy, but what was the point? I'd been practically moaning at him to take me when she'd ruined everything.

"Why are you here?" I asked, with bitterness in my voice.

"Oh sweetie, you were making enough noise to wake the devil up from the dead. You should just be thankful that I found you first. Think of the field day Rose would have had."

I had to concede that point. Rose would never have let me live it down. Though, now that I'd lowered my pillow, and had taken in Bella's quivering lower lip as she tried to hold her hysterical laughter in, I had a feeling that the student was rapidly learning from the master.

I tossed the pillow in her direction but it went way wide. Bella let the laughter go and doubled over.

"You," she gasped, "were so funny."

I pursed my lips together and continued to send death glares in her direction. I bet you she'd already kissed little Eddie, and that hadn't been all too funny, now had it?

Of course, I wasn't even kissing Jasper in reality. Which would explain all these dreams I'd been having. The man made me positively nuts.

"So," Bella asked, clearing her throat, "what was the dream about?"

I overplayed my affronted expression, and her face softened a little bit. Ha! Bella was still an easy target, despite her ability to interrupt sex fantasies.

"You don't have to tell me," she continued, a little embarrassed, "I was just curious."

"Are you going to tell me about your kiss with Edward?" I asked. I hadn't known for sure if she'd kissed him or not, but the glow she'd carried back from the dance floor last night had nearly given it completely away. Good thing Rose had been so absorbed in hating Emmett at that particular moment.

Bella's blush that suffused her face was proof enough. "Uh," she stumbled, "how did you know about that?"

"As if I didn't know it was going to happen," I scoffed. "You're a terrible actress." I stretched my arms above my head and proceeded to get out of bed.

She had the nerve to look only slightly contrite. "It was that good?" I asked, more curious that I'd been before.

Bella didn't even reply, only smiled that big, _Bella _smile and the tiny worry in my heart grew. "Who knew that little Eddie could kiss," I pondered.

"Oh he can," she burst out, clearly unable to hold it in any longer. Bella could be a real pushover sometimes, as much as I loved her.

I didn't reply that the question had been more rhetorical than anything, but simply eyed her sleeping wardrobe.

"Sweats? An old t-shirt from high school? Bella, Bella, Bella," I clucked, "if you're going to get all up in Eddie's face, we're going to have to change all that."

She got that stubborn look on her face again, and crossed her arms firmly across her chest. "I thought we'd been over all of that," she said pointedly. As if I could really forget yesterday, when she'd declined my fashion help then showed up looking good enough to send Edward's jaw into the vicinity of the ground.

"We have," I argued, "but I can guarantee you that I'm right here, and you're wrong. Ratty sweatpants, even they if they are _pink_, aren't going to impress Edward Cullen into trying to get into them."

Bella didn't even reply, she just turned bright red. Jackpot. I'd just partially gotten back at her for her untimely interruption. It would take a while, but I was patient. I'd eventually get her back completely, even if it took weeks.

"So you kissed then," I stated.

"Oh yeah," she smiled at me again, that big goofy love smile.

Shit.

I didn't really remember much about Edward Cullen from high school. My mind had been pretty centered on Jasper, and studious and serious Edward had kept to himself. But I knew anyone who looked at good as he did couldn't be all sweetness and light.

I decided to warn, but not alarm, Bella. She had to have someone in her corner on this, and god knew, we couldn't exactly tell Rosalie, who was the fiercest mother lion of us all.

"You know, Bells," I lightheartedly flipped over my shoulder, as I grabbed a short silky robe from my closet, "he looks like he's a real player."

"Yeah," she replied, and her casual and unconcerned voice sent even more warning bells off. "He's charming and all that, but he's _different _underneath, you know?"

No, I didn't know, but until he did something I didn't like, I had no reason to freak Bella out. After all, we were going to be spending a good deal of time together in the upcoming weeks, and I loved seeing her so happy. Maybe he would even turn out to be a semi-decent guy.

"Ah," I said noncommittally, "shall we go find Rose?" Somewhere, I thought, where this conversation can come to an abrupt halt and maybe I can find some measure of peace again.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author Note:**

First off, thanks for all your great reviews, I'm glad you liked the smut--I'll keep it coming, but unfortunately, not so much actual smut in this chapter. But yes, you'll like it anyway, I promise, so keep reading.

Secondly, check out the songs on my fan fic profile: "Nobody's Crying" is really how I wrote the Rosalie point of view at the beginning of the chapter. Other songs, by the Donnas, are directly mentioned in the story.

Thirdly, a shoutout to my great friends at the twilighted forums, you guys are awesome. Twinny--I love you desperately and we need to take our kidnapping road trip soonest. To my betas: tameleine, CallistoLexx, Theresa, and Madeleine (who is finally back from Paris), you guys rock HARD.

Please remember that the voting for the AU Human awards at wwwdottwilightawardsdotthis-paradisedotcom/ starts in TWO DAYS. Please go read all the stories--this isn't necessarily a plug for just me. Though, I have to confess, I'd love to get SOME votes :)

* * *

RPOV

I laid in bed well past sunrise, though I hadn't slept.

Curling myself around a pillow and struggling to shut out the pain, I clenched my teeth so I wouldn't cry.

For the millionth time during the long sleepless night, I failed, and the tears fell from under my eyelids down my cheeks in hot streams.

I heard Alice and Bells laughing in the other room, and the sound added another layer of misery to the many that already existed. I told myself I was crazy. Lying in bed, feeling sorry for myself, and longing for someone who'd never really wanted me in the first place was pitiful, at best.

I couldn't seem to help myself, and I still couldn't stop the tears. In the last three days, I'd been forced to relive both the happiest and saddest moments of my life. Maybe I'd even done it because I hadn't been able to help myself. I couldn't figure out if it was the former or the latter, but in the end it didn't matter. Either way was bad enough.

I rolled over, and squeezed the pillow extra hard, imagining it was Emmett's head and wishing I could crack it like an egg. Sighing, I reluctantly let go. What was the use? I didn't want to hurt him physically. Seeing him with his hand wrapped up last night had nearly stopped my heart. The idea of him being physically injured curdled my soul, but that had to stay under wraps. I had a reputation to maintain and heartache to hide.

For about five seconds last night, I'd extended him courtesy he didn't deserve, and even compassion, and he'd simply thrown it back in my face. Typically Emmett. I wondered sometimes what I had ever seen in him.

_Stop_, I told myself. I knew _exactly _what I had seen in him. I remembered way too often and far too well.

Instead, I focused on the front of anger and possible physical retaliation I'd built up in the last six years. Sure, it was merely a well-constructed lie, but for a long time, I'd believed it until last night had forever ripped that last comfortable sham away.

All I wanted was some kind of explanation for Emmett's behavior. Maybe, if I finally could see where I'd gone wrong in trusting him, I could stop this constant merry-go-round of loathing him and then myself. It was one of the only reasons I told myself I'd ever agreed to this silly charade of a reunion. That and, of course, Alice. She deserved the happiness I'd probably never get.

I'd been so surprised that day, six years ago, when Edward had pulled me aside in the hall. Edward and I had never really spoken; he kept mostly to himself. Alice had mentioned snidely that he was even more studious than Jasper, and so I'd steered clear. I had no interest in nerds, having a reputation to uphold, and besides, the only member of the male sex I cared two cents about anymore was Emmett.

So when he'd grabbed me in the hallway after school one day, I'd nearly sneered at him and told him to go sit in a locker, but his words had stopped me just in time.

"Rosalie, I've got a message from Emmett."

He smiled because he knew he had my attention now.

Of course, I couldn't let him know that all it took was Emmett's name to catapult me into starry-eyed surrender.

"Yes?" I snapped, momentarily erasing that disgustingly self-satisfied smirk from his too-pretty face.

I speculated why Alice had been so sure he was a nerd. Obnoxious or no, Edward Cullen had those delicate chiseled features that casting directors and modeling agencies ate up, and a pair of bright green eyes to boot. He wasn't my type at all, but I still wondered at Alice's continual obsession with Jasper, and her complete neglect of the specimen in front of me. I'd have to try to pry the truth out of her, one of these days.

"He wants you to meet him in Mr. Roberts' classroom in fifteen minutes," Edward said, his face becoming strangely blank. Before I could even reply, he merged into endless stream of students walking through the halls and was gone from sight within seconds.

I pondered this new development. The last class of the day had just let out. In fifteen minutes, the school would be practically deserted, as nobody stayed longer than absolutely necessary. Then, it all made sense. _Mr. Roberts' classroom, which was practically where we met._

I was always astonished at how the rest of the student body perceived Emmett. They all thought he was a good-natured, loud jock, who liked the sound of his voice a little too much. Sure, he had a booming laugh, but how had everyone missed the intelligence behind it? Though I wanted people to view him favorably, I almost liked that I knew an Emmett Cullen that was only familiar to his close family. This idea of his was exactly the kind of sweet thing he was apt to do that seemed patently impossible to everybody else.

After sprucing up a little in the bathroom, and waiting impatiently for the clock to tick down, I finally made my way to the classroom at the end of the history hallway. I knew I'd confided to Emmett my intense dislike of Mr. Roberts in the last two months we'd been seeing each other, and he must want me to have a good memory to replay every time I was in this particular room. I knew I had a goofy grin on my face, but I couldn't bear to turn it off. Nobody could see anyway, except for Emmett, and he already knew how happy he made me.

Finally nearing the end of the hallway, I slowed my steps a little, so that my heels wouldn't make such loud clicking sounds on the ugly brown linoleum. I reached the door, and was surprised to see that the room was dark. This must be part of Emmett's plan.

I carefully, almost silently, opened the door, wondering if he could hear my heart beat faster, the room was so quiet. Hoping to surprise him, I reached out one arm toward the bank of lighting switches and prayed that I had the right one. I flipped the lever, and felt my heart plummet to the floor.

My eyes took in the incomprehensible scene in front of me. It was Emmett all right, looking bewildered by the sudden onslaught of bright light, and at the same time, horribly guilty.

Unable to process the shamed look on his face and analyze what it meant, I turned my attention to the girl hanging onto him. Lauren, I think her name was. She had a reputation for being easy. Apparently so did Emmett, but I'd missed that memo in all my eagerness to put my trust in him and my heart in his backstabbing hands.

She was practically in his arms, her lips still shiny with moisture from his. My stomach joined my heart on the floor.

I wobbled a little, my knees suddenly unsure of themselves. Lauren moved slightly away from Emmett's grasp and I wanted to fling her against a wall. Emmett just stood there, shell-shocked and speechless at my intrusion.

Before he could speak, I gathered the ruins of my heart and my pride around me, and turned and walked away, my heels making sharp clicking sounds on the floor. As soon as I was through the door, I nearly broke into a run. I had to get away. I felt sick, like I was about to lose my lunch, and there was no way in hell I'd do it in the Forks High School hallway.

How could I have been so monumentally stupid? So naïve? Emmett must have been laughing all the way to the bank at how easily he'd plucked me.

I heard some movement behind me, and there was Emmett, nearly running too, in his determination to catch me and _snow me again_, I told myself. I wanted to hear nothing he had to say. We were finished.

"Wait, Rosie. Stop walking so damn fast."

I whirled around, anger warring with utter desolation. Why was he even bothering to try to explain himself? There was no excuse he could possibly come up with that would forgive or explain his actions.

"Emmett. Go away. Leave me alone." My voice was cold and final, kind of the way my heart felt.

"No, you have to listen to me," he begged, his normal cocky attitude completely gone.

I shook my head. "Absolutely not. There's nothing to say that I'd want to hear." Turning, I started to walk again. I had to get out of here before I started crying. I couldn't let him see the damage he'd done to me.

"Rosalie, wait. Please." He was practically groveling on the floor, but I couldn't bear to listen as his voice nearly broke.

I kept walking, and this time, he didn't follow.

* * *

BPOV

Alice and I exited her bedroom, laughing, and then both of us stopped abruptly, ears attuned to the noises we heard coming from the room across the hall. Rosalie.

Alice sighed and moved her head toward the door, indicating she would go first. I nodded in agreement and went to stand behind her as she knocked hesitantly on Rose's bedroom door.

"Rose, sweetheart, are you okay?"

There was only an obviously muffled sniff in response, and Alice and I exchanged worried glances. She was crying _again_. This was not good.

"I know you're in there," Alice said, "you might as well tell us we can come in."

"The door's not locked," Rose grumbled, her voice teary and unbearably sad.

Alice tested the knob, and like Rose had said, it opened without opposition.

We quietly stepped into the dark room, with me following closely behind Alice. As our eyes adjusted, I could see Rose still curled up in her bed, holding a pillow that she was clearly using to muffle her sobs.

Alice quickly crossed to the bed and sat down. Rose quickly wiped her eyes, as if that would prevent us from knowing the truth.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" Alice reached out and took Rose's hand in her own. I took the other side of the bed, and as unobtrusively as possible, I tenderly brushed her hair away from her face.

Unfortunately, we weren't making much headway, as Rose simply shook her head and dissolved into more tears.

"Please tell us, Rose," I said, feeling useless and overwhelmed in the face of all this grief.

"You know," she mumbled through her sobs, "it's always him."

I bit back my exasperation. They were so plainly still in love with each other that all this mooning around was completely ludicrous, but then, neither of them were ready to hear it or admit it yet. This was all painful, but necessary. Still, I wanted to maim Emmett a million different ways for hurting Rose this way, and now that I thought about it, Edward too. Because, really, this all originated with him. Rose crying today was his fault.

The thought must have showed on my face because Alice quickly motioned for me to stop frowning. Whoops. I returned my attention to the sobbing Rosalie and tried to assume some kind of sympathetic pose, all the while trying to decide what I was going to say to Edward when I saw him next.

_You asshole, you broke my friend's heart?_

No, not quite angry enough.

Coherent words were now emerging from Rose's mouth, along with the sobs, and I interrupted my internal debate to pay attention. Maybe I'd find some inspiration in her thoughts.

"I was just. . .screwing myself over . . .remembering . . .remembering," Rose's voice broke again, and Alice gripped her hand tighter, "the day I found him with that _skank_."

If only I could record this sobbing confession from Rosalie, no amount of cursing could ever match the ability this had to truly put Edward in his place.

_Well duh, Bella, _I thought, _that was easy enough_.

I felt in my sweats pocket as surreptitiously as possible. Thankfully, Rosalie, who was curled on her side, was sprawled between Alice and I, and in any case, she was understandably caught up in what Rose was saying. I was too, of course, but I was more prepared to do something about it.

After all, Alice had been hearing this for six years and the situation had stayed completely static. It was time for some action. That didn't make me callous, just perceptive, though I had feeling that wasn't what Alice would call it. What I was about to do would have to stay my secret.

Carefully, I slipped my cell phone out of the pocket and without my eyes once leaving Rosalie's face, my fingers quickly reached the video setting. I had no idea how good the sound was going to be, but I couldn't sit back and do nothing while Rose cried her eyes out. Maybe after Edward finished groveling, he could find some way to _accidentally _show Emmett.

Alice spoke up again, and her voice was quiet and serious. "I remember you coming home that day. I wanted to punch Emmett Cullen into the next county for breaking your heart. He never deserved you, sweetie."

Alice reached around to hug Rose in affirmation of her words, and I had to quickly tuck the exposed phone under a fold of the comforter. If Alice saw what I was doing, there would be hell to pay.

I wanted to argue with Alice's assumption that Emmett didn't deserve Rosalie. He'd made a mistake, yes, but instead of fixing it like he clearly should have, he'd walked away. I felt another irrational flash of anger at Edward for being _stupid _enough to ruin the best thing to ever happen to his brother. I'd felt sorry for him once, because of how much he blamed himself, but now I fully agreed with his own assessment.

Alice moved again, and got up off the bed, probably going in search of a box of tissues. _That Kleenex box_, I grumbled to myself, _has seen more action in the last two days than me. _

Rose turned towards me, and I quickly clicked the phone off and without her noticing, returned it to my pocket. When I was alone, I'd review the footage of heartbroken Rosalie and send it to dear Edward for his consumption. For right now, one of my best friends was hurting, and I needed to comfort her as best as I could.

"You probably think I'm a big wimp," Rosalie self-consciously laughed, her voice shaky.

"Of course not!" I exclaimed, giving her a quick hug. "Emmett broke your heart. That's definitely worth crying over."

"For six years?" she responded, a bit defiantly—wanting me, I guess, to tell her she was obsessing. Frankly, it was sometimes even harder to be honest with Rosalie than it was to be honest with Alice, because yes, she _was _obsessing.

Of course, I didn't call it "obsessing," typically, I knew Rose's issue as "love" instead, but naturally, I was sure that she'd see red if I told her what her real problem was.

"So he kissed Lauren," I stated, deciding that a change in subject was in order.

"Yes. I walked in and. . .they were all wrapped up together."

Ah. Kind of like me and Edward last night at Kell's. I nearly let my smile shine through the sympathy written on my face, but I stopped it just in time. Rose wasn't supposed to know that, and she was even better at reading me than Alice. I couldn't even _think _about Edward in her presence, or she'd find out and we'd all be toast.

_Besides_, I reminded myself sternly, _you're mad at him_.

"Are you sure he even liked it?" Knowing the whole story and not being at liberty to say was really beginning to bug me. Maybe I could lead Rosalie around to the truth without her realizing what I knew.

Rose glared at me, and Alice chose that moment to come back into the room. _Great_, _I've just brought out Protective Mother Alice_. _Fantastic job, Bella._

"Bella, why are you upsetting Rosalie? Can't you see she's already upset?"

I'd have to be blind, deaf, and dumb to not see that Rose was upset, but I didn't think that offering that particular answer would help me out right now. Instead I smiled contritely.

"Of course, I just wanted to make sure. . ."

Alice sent me a death look. "You weren't making sure of _anything_," she enunciated, "you were just going into the kitchen to make breakfast."

"I was?"

"You were," she nearly hissed at me. Rosalie chuckled at our exchange and I thought I might as well play it up, if it could somehow bring her out of her blue mood.

"Alright, alright, don't get your panties in a twist, oh wait. . ." I paused for effect, and just to see Alice's face darken, "it's Jasper who does that."

As nimbly as I could, I tried to skirt around a furious Alice, all while Rosalie looked on, laughing deeply. Her face was shining again, not with tears, but with mirth. Maybe humor was a way to make her more accessible to Emmett and not quite as angsty and uptight. I'd tell Edward to start cracking a lot of jokes around her, and I'd instruct Alice to be as silly as possible, not that she didn't already succeed at that particular venture.

Alice managed to get a good swat on my butt just as I made it out the bedroom door.

"Ouch!" I yelled as I danced down the hallway. "How does chocolate chip pancakes sound?"

"Like heaven," I heard Rose shout back, and I smiled. I could do this. Somehow I _would _do this.

I got out the ingredients for the pancakes and set up the iPod dock in the kitchen to play some upbeat music. I was mixing the batter and dancing away when Rosalie and Alice came into the kitchen.

"Where's my pancakes, bitch?" Rosalie asked, good naturedly, with almost a genuine smile on her face. Her face was still a bit splotchy, and her eyes were definitely red, but she looked good. Of course, this _was _Rose, and she had backup in the tank. Even a crying jag couldn't completely ruin her looks. Those of us who were mere mortals had to be more careful because we couldn't afford to lose anything.

I gestured to the heating griddle and the big bowl of batter on the counter in front of me.

"Almost ready," I assured her, "but if you don't get your ass over to the coffeemaker stat, I'm going to pass out."

When I'd first met Rosalie, her confrontational way of speaking had completely thrown me for a loop. Alice had been a hard enough transition for me, with all the shopping and the flightiness, but when she'd introduced me to her older "sister" Rose, I knew both awe and terror.

Rosalie, I soon figured out, might speak like the most common hooker or dockside worker, but that was all one big red herring. She had a core of the softest marshmallow crème and a heart of gold. The rest was just decoration.

So I'd adapted to her way of speaking, and though I rarely employed it, except for a well-executed snide remark or scathing put-down, I could dish it out as well as I could take it. Edward, I thought with amusement, had seemed very impressed with my witty repartee, and I was again grateful to Rose who had brought me out of my shell and had made such verbal acrobatics possible.

"On my way," Rose snapped back, but I noticed she was already at the coffeemaker, measuring out water and beans. A few seconds later I heard the familiar and welcome hum of the grinder, followed by a smell I never tired of: freshly-ground coffee.

Alice had made her way to the iPod dock, and was in the process of changing the music. I almost told her to leave it be, but she knew Rose better than I did, and if there was something in particular that would lift her spirits, I wasn't going to argue.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her pick something quickly, like she'd known exactly what she wanted to choose. Playlist selected, wide smile on her face, she flitted away towards the fridge.

The speakers began blasting the Donnas and I beamed my approval at Alice, while Rosalie's hips began to twitch to the heavy guitar and rough beat of "Don't Wait Up for Me." Mine joined hers, finally followed by Alice, who completely abandoned her breakfast chores to dance and slide across the hardwood floor in her slippers.

Still grinding along with the heavy beat, I turned back to the stove and began to ladle pancake batter onto the hot griddle. Immediately, the smell of melting chocolate and dough filled the air, mixing with the scent of brewing coffee.

"Coffee's up!" Rose shouted over the music, rubbing up against Alice in an R-rated manner as she passed by to grab the milk from the fridge.

I joined them, and we completely let loose as the iPod segued into "Take it Off," our favorite Donnas song.

* * *

EPOV

I laid in bed, watching the sun come up over the West Hills, and wondered giddily why Bella Swan drove me crazy.

She wasn't beautiful like Rosalie, but instead her face was intriguing, with how much and how little it gave away, all at the same time. I'd only seen her three times, but it was already a goal of mine to make her blush as much as possible. The contrast between her white skin and those dark, inquisitive, and impish brown eyes was irresistible, as was the long fall of mahogany hair. Her looks had been more than enough to catch my attention the first time I'd seen her, but since then, the lure that was Bella far exceeded any initial simplistic physical attraction.

From the beginning, her intelligence, and wit and humor had completely defeated me. Every time I thought that I'd managed to finagle my way into a good position, she'd pulled the rug out from under me with one of her little sarcastic comments.

Bella hadn't thrown herself at me like most girls. Instead, she had seemed determined to not let things turn personal, and she'd playfully thrown a bucketful of mockery right at me. I thought I'd liked those girls in college who'd deferred to me and let me be the big powerful man. Nope, I shook my head a little, I was so _wrong_. I wanted someone who could stand next to me like an equal and look me right in the eye and tell me exactly what she thought.

Even worse, Bella was both kind and mischievous, innocent and dangerous. She looked like a good girl, but the way she'd kissed me last night had blown that assumption right out of the water. I'd been completely floored by how elemental our sexual attraction was, and for about thirty seconds, I'd forgotten Emmett and Rosalie and Jasper and Alice. All I'd thought about was how I could convince her I was even good enough to wipe her boots, because there was no way in hell I could lose her without ever having her. She was going to be _mine_.

I groaned and rolled over, already suffering from my regular morning affliction, and not wanting to make it worse by picturing peeling that dress slowly and deliberately from her incredibly feminine body.

I wanted her for more than sex. I wanted to do more than just trade quips with her like we'd done on our first date. I just wanted to know her, totally and completely and that thought scared the living shit out of me.

I'd been stupid enough to concoct a plan that made it impossible to date her, and I couldn't stomach anything less.

Obviously if I was going to see her, I'd have to drag Jasper and Emmett along too, and it would have to be their idea. Better to use Jasper again--Rosalie had clearly not warmed up to Emmett yet.

I dragged my sorry, obsessing ass out of bed and pulled on a pair of athletic shorts. Running a quick hand through my hair, I exited the bedroom and wasn't surprised to find the rest of the house quiet. Jasper was watching the news in the living room, the volume almost muted, his laptop in front of him. Out of the three of us, he was definitely the quietest. If Emmett had been awake, there was no way I could have slept as long as I did.

"Hey Jas, I need a favor."

Jasper looked up, and grimaced. "What now?"

I didn't want to go through this all over again. Everyone except for him knew how much he wanted Alice. Yet, he'd thrown a hissy fit when I'd insisted he cuddle up to her. You'd have thought I'd killed his dog. Both Emmett and I had shared a few chuckles over him shrieking like a girl and _over _a girl.

Mentally crossing my fingers, I tried taking a very _laissez-faire_ tactic, as if I could care less if he helped me. "You made great progress last night . . ." I started out, keeping my tone very calm, but before I could even get the rest of the sentence out, Jasper shot up from the couch, annoyed expression on his face.

"Absolutely not. I am not going over there." Jasper glared at me.

Emmett strolled into the living room, completely, and typically, oblivious to the tense atmosphere between Jasper and I.

"What's up dudes?" he exclaimed in his normal volume. Emmett had two levels: loud and louder.

I rolled my eyes and before Jasper could start pitching another hissy fit about seeing Alice, I spoke up. "We're going to see the girls. For breakfast," I announced spontaneously. Jasper's face grew murderous and I thought I heard Emmett mumble something foul under his breath.

While Jasper was the studious one of the three of us, I was definitely known as the business-minded planner. _This_, I thought to myself ruefully, _was why the plan I'd concocted was so damn complicated—I shouldn't have expected differently out of my own stupid mind. _I rarely ever did anything without thinking it through completely, but ever since I'd met Bella, I'd practically been living spontaneously on the edge of danger.

"Do we have to?" whined Emmett, a look of absolute dread on his face. I couldn't blame him; dealing with a bitchy Rosalie right out of bed wasn't my idea of a good time either. On the other hand, a sleep-rumpled, naked, warm-skinned Bella was an entirely different story. I felt myself hardening, almost involuntarily, at the image of her sitting up in my bed, the sheet slithering to her waist, her beckoning me back to her side with no words but only a come hither look. _Crap_.

I was in such deep shit. Thankfully, both Jasper and Emmett were worked up enough that they didn't notice me marginally adjust my shorts. I wish I'd had the foresight to put boxers on underneath—I'd certainly do that before we went over to visit the girls. If I couldn't even control myself now, I knew there was no way I could possibly do it when I was around the subject of my fantasies.

"Yes," I snapped, "Jasper is desperate to see Alice again." It was a lot better to silence Jasper before he could break the news to Emmett that it was instead _me _that was dying to see _Bella_. Of course, I wasn't dumb enough to think that Jasper didn't actually want to see Alice. He just would never admit it to me—especially never with Emmett listening in. I loved my brothers dearly but one was way too private and the other was not nearly private enough.

Emmett's smile was about a mile wide and he threw a big meaty arm around Jasper.

"It's about time you did something about that little pixie," Emmett said jovially, giving Jas a few good whacks on his back.

Jasper's expression, despite Emmett's oblivious nature, was pure irritation. I shook my head slightly, cautioning him not to say anything, and I knew if it had been anyone else but me he was doing this for, they'd have a bruised jaw by now.

However, Jasper _was _able to take one verbal swing at Emmett that I couldn't silence.

"Yeah? You gonna do something about Rosie too?"

I winced. I'd seen _that _coming from about a mile away.

I needed to get this show on the road before they decided to destroy each other, and by association, the furniture that Esme had so lovingly picked out for us.

Emmett nearly growled. I heard it, and I was sure that Jas had heard it too, but he casually shucked Emmett's arm off of him and walked away. There was a clearly audible sigh, but his back was to us and I couldn't see his face.

"Where are you going" I risked asking, almost dreading his answer. Throughout this whole exchange, my hopes of seeing Bella had only risen. Even though it had been a spontaneous decision on my part, I now felt committed to seeing her today. I couldn't wait—it was as simple as that. I was dying to kiss her again, but even more importantly, I wanted to see her in her natural environment, eyes hazy with sleep, secret smile playing over those full lips of hers.

Jasper turned his head as he disappeared back down the hallway, and shot back at me, "I'm going to get ready, since apparently we're going to bring these girls breakfast."

I wanted to pump my fist in the air in success, but I figured that Emmett, already grumbling that he hadn't provoked Jas enough to fight, wasn't going to let me get away with anything.

I quickly brushed my teeth and ran a hand through my hair. _Good enough_, I thought.

"Let's go," I yelled, as I left the bathroom. Emmett popped his head out of his room, dread written all over his face.

"Do I have to go?" he whined.

"Yes," I said inexorably.

"No choice?"

"No choice. Maybe you can take this opportunity to try to be a little less obnoxious."

"Fine," Emmett grumbled, and joined me in the hallway.

"Jas?" I shouted, in the direction of his bedroom.

"I'm out here," he said, from the vicinity of the living room, "let's go."

"So what are we bringing?" Jasper asked me, as we all climbed into my silver Volvo.

I hadn't thought this far ahead. Just getting them out of the house intact was a minor miracle.

"Uh. . . ." I stalled.

"Chocolate croissants," Emmett announced loudly from the backseat.

There were very few times that I was glad Emmett decided to speak. This was one of those times.

Jasper clapped him on the back, hard, clearly getting back at him for earlier. "Way to go, man. Great idea."

We stopped at a little bakery up on 23rd, and picked up the croissants, and I sped over to where I knew the girls lived. It wasn't until we pulled up at the complex that I began to get nervous. Chocolate croissants or not, showing up at their apartment on a Sunday morning unannounced was probably suicide, at least in the case of Jasper and Emmett. I wasn't entirely sure where I stood with Bella, but I did know that she hadn't exactly been pushing me away last night. I took a deep breath and tried to calm the butterflies in my stomach. I couldn't even remember the last time a girl had made me this nervous--or really, nervous at all. There was definitely something about Bella: she shredded my self-control and at the same time, made me want to do everything _right_.

We walked up, a pretty silent group, to their front door. Loud rock music floated out of one of the open windows and we all exchanged looks. _Had we come to the wrong townhouse?_

I consulted the address I'd written on a scrap of paper. Nope, it was right. Hesitantly, I knocked on the door. Nothing. I knocked harder, trying to make my entrance known over the blaring music. Still nothing.

With a sound of disgust, Emmett pushed me aside, and proceeded to bang on the door like a caveman demanding his woman get out and make him some grub over the fire. I grimaced, inwardly, thinking that Em demolishing their door wasn't likely to make a good impression.

However, they clearly couldn't hear us over the music, even with Emmett's caveman knock.

Knowing I was risking my balls and other pertinent parts of my male anatomy, I grasped the door handle and turned. Jasper's eyes grew wide when he realized it was going to turn all the way: it wasn't locked.

"They're going to kill us," he hissed at me, motioning for me to stop, but I was way too determined to turn back now.

Emmett added, "Slowly and painfully." I couldn't disagree with either of them but at this point, my compulsion to see Bella far outweighed the possibility of a slow, torturous death.

I turned the handle the rest of the way, leaving both of my brothers aghast.

Silently opening the door, I peered around it and into the hallway entrance. The music was even louder, and was definitely rock. Some kind of power girl punk music. I thought I could hear some additional live vocalists, and motioning to Emmett and Jasper, we creeped in and shut the door behind us.

Leading the way, I followed the sound of the yelling voices, and turning a corner from the entrance, stopped dead in my tracks. Obviously, the two clowns behind me felt the same way. They could thank me later.

The girls were dancing in the kitchen to the music, singing at the top of their lungs and nearly grinding against each other in a display of such sexual freedom that I felt weak.

My hungry eyes immediately latched onto Bella, who was clearly the vocalist of the group, as she was singing at the top of her lungs, and moving her hips back in forth to the beat. A pair of slim pink sweatpants encased her slender legs, and the threadbare, skintight t-shirt hugged her curves, or at least what I could see of them. A sliver of pale, bare skin flashed where her t-shirt met her pants, and instantly, I grew hard. It was only then I remembered I hadn't put boxers on before coming over here, and my cock was noticeably tenting the lightweight athletic material. _Shit_.

Bella wasn't the greatest dancer, but the way that she moved her ass was nearly criminal. I had a sudden image of me taking her right there, on the hardwood kitchen floor, bruised knees be damned. _Stop it_, I ordered my unruly mind and body, _that's not helping at all_.

Trying to get myself under control before any of them turned around, I reluctantly tore my eyes away from Bella, and instead looked at the other two girls dancing in the kitchen.

I'd felt Jasper stiffen behind me the minute we'd come around the corner, but I'd been too busy admiring Bella to even glance at Alice. Now I knew the reason he was still standing, shocked, behind me. Alice was wearing a skimpy silk nightie, barely covering her butt, and if Bella wasn't a fabulous dancer, Alice more than made up for it. The way she was grinding against Rosalie was worthy of Carmen Electra's strip workouts and the nightie, directly contradicting the hypothesis that short girls didn't have curves, rode up and exposed all of us to a pretty generous show of upper thigh.

I swore I heard Jasper mumbling underneath his breath and I hoped he was smart enough to stop resisting. I'd pretty much given in--not that anyone had to know it--but it was clear enough that he was putty in Alice's hands, especially when she looked like that.

Rosalie threw her hands up in the air, and the loose tank top she wore rose considerably, treating us all to a show of golden toned flesh halfway up her back. This time I distinctly heard Emmett swear.

It was then that the lyrics of the song hit me. The song was about taking off clothes, and the sex that happened subsequently. The girls were dancing, in skimpy pajamas, _with each other_. I was finished. There was no way I'd be able to calm the monster in my shorts before they turned around. Right now I was rock hard, harder than I'd been in a long time and it would take an ice-cold shower to have any effect on me whatsoever.

Bella was going to turn around and see me watching her, uninvited in her apartment, with a serious hard-on. I didn't think there was much I could add to the situation to make it worse.

The planner in me was rapidly combing through ideas in his head, and the only one he'd come up with so far was to leave. _Ha_, there was no way in hell that was going to happen.

"Edward," Jasper hissed behind me, apparently regaining his voice.

I held up my hand to silence him, and tried to think of a way out of this. _Except_, I thought, _I've got nothing. _There was just too much damned blood in my cock right now to put together a real coherent solution.

Then, Bella turned around and shrieked.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author Note: **Again, you guys all ROCK with the reviews!! And please remember to vote at the Twilight Awards (link on my profile)-- this story is nominated for BEST ROMANCE and BEST EDWARD CHARACTERIZATION

Thanks to my betas: tameleine (we have something exciting in the works for you guys--a new co-written story!--don't worry, I will still update TDIG), Theresa, CallistoLexx and Madeleine.

* * *

BPOV

I gaped at the three intruders, so bloody fucking _furious_ and at the same time, so turned on that my eyes felt like they were crossing. I tried to hold onto the anger, but I felt it slipping away as my eyes sized up Edward, who had the cutest, most sheepish expression on his face.

There was pretty much no sight on earth that could compare to the way he looked right now. Parts of his gorgeous bronze hair stood completely up on end, as if he'd just finished running those long fingers through it, and his eyes were fully-lidded and still a bit sleepy--then my eyes drifted lower and heard the hallelujah chorus begin as I took in the impressive erection he was unsuccessfully trying to hide in those tasty shorts. At that moment, I didn't care so much that he was in my house, as long as he was _in my house_, but of course, there was no way we could let them get away with this without making them sweat it a little.

I glanced over at Rose, and her face was set in several hard lines. Her lips were compressed together and I was surprised to find that Emmett hadn't turned into a big Carrie-like conflagration, considering how evilly she glaring at him.

Jasper and Alice were just gaping at each other. I had to smother a laugh when I remembered that Alice was wearing one of her many little silk negligees and that it revealed more than it covered. We were all used to it, but Jasper looked like someone had hit him hard over the head with a frying pan.

_Frying pan. . .there was some thought I was missing. . .something that had to do with that burning smell that was beginning to seep into the air . . ._

"SHIT," I screamed, as all of a sudden remembering the pancakes and how long they'd been on the hot griddle. I jumped back to the stove and tried lifting the griddle off the burners with just a towel but immediately burned my hand and dropped the smoking pan back onto the stove.

Edward was by my side within a second, flat. I felt dizzy, not from the searing pain of the burn on my hand, but from his nearness.

"Whoa," Edward cautioned, as I went to reach for the griddle again, "let me do that. It's heavy and you'll burn yourself again."

I wondered if he really thought that playing the gallant knight would forgive the fact that he was clearly an opportunistic pervert.

Carefully, he found a nearby potholder and grasped the griddle and moved it over to the cool burners on the other side of the stove. I breathed a quick sigh of relief and examined the crusty, burned-on pancakes.

"Damn," I muttered. I had really been looking forward to that chocolate, and now I didn't just want it, I _needed it _with Edward standing next to me in the kitchen, his bedroom eyes looking at me worriedly.

"You need some ice," Edward murmured in my ear, and if Rosalie hadn't been so obviously listening to our little exchange, I would have asked him where he wanted to put it.

Even without saying it, he seemed to know what I was thinking, as those gorgeous green eyes gleamed mischievously with the unspoken thought.

Glancing over at Rose, I wondered how much she'd picked up in the last few moments, but she was still busy glaring at Emmett, who looked more terrified than anyone of his size deserved to look.

Alice danced over to the fridge and opened up the bottom freezer compartment. Handing me the pack of peas, she turned her attention to the remains of the burnt pancakes on the griddle. As she moved, I noticed Jasper's stunned expression as he took in the way her short silk hem trembled with her steps.

Alice's nose scrunched at the griddle and quickly nicking the potholder from Edward's hand, she lifted the heavy pan like it was made of paper and took it over to the sink. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jasper continue to gape.

I moved toward the sink, thinking that I should probably help her clean it, since forgetting the pancakes in the first place was my fault, but Alice waved me away.

"I'm fine," she insisted, "you're hurt. Ice your hand."

All I could do was turn my attention back to Edward, who I hadn't yet interrogated about his presence in my apartment.

I crossed my arms across my chest and turned to face him. "So," I began casually, "is there a reason you've decided to grace us with your presence this fine morning?"

Edward grinned hugely in response and Emmett yelled out, "Jasper wants Alice!" followed by a number of large shrieking catcalls. Jasper blushed a deep red, and I saw Alice's hand stall momentarily as she scrubbed on the griddle surface, yet Edward's grin said it all, and I knew without a doubt that it hadn't been Jasper who'd gotten all three of them here today.

I felt a swarm of warmth sweep through me and all I could do was beam at Edward.

"Bella!" Rosalie shrieked, finally finding her voice after the shock of turning around to see Emmett and his brothers gawking, "_why _are you smiling?"

Good question. I rapidly re-arranged my facial features into a half-smile, half-frown, which was the best I could do at the moment.

"So you snuck into our apartment, uninvited, so that Jasper could see Alice" I asked skeptically, trying to sound annoyed but failing almost completely.

"That's it, Bella," Rosalie sneered, her patience ending, "you're not allowed to conduct this investigation because you clearly don't have the balls for it."

I gaped as she marched right over to Emmett and got right in his face. "How dare you show your _face _here, especially when I made it perfectly clear I wanted nothing to do with you?"

Emmett spluttered, obviously surprised that she was suddenly so close to him and was nearly taking his head off.

"Uh, uh. . ." he stammered, his eyes sending a SOS in Edward's direction. I had to smother a chuckle because, despite my initial reaction, I couldn't possibly work up any genuine anger. They all looked so sheepish, and in the case of Emmett, absolutely terrified, that it was impossible to be anything more than surprised, and really just _thrilled_ that Edward was standing in the kitchen next to me.

Rosalie smashed right over Emmett's confusion and her voice rose. _Uh oh_, I thought, _she's gaining momentum_. I took a step forward, intending to intervene before things grew too far out of hand, but Edward's hand shot out and grabbed me around my wrist, drawing me back.

He leaned down, his breath tickling my ear. "Don't," Edward whispered, "they need to get all the anger out."

I tried to turn my attention back to the blossoming fight in front of us, but it was hard to concentrate on anything with Edward so close to me. All I wanted was to drag him to the floor and slam that rock hard cock deep inside of me.

Jasper had drifted toward Alice, theoretically to help her with the griddle, but it lay forgotten in the sink as they stood together and gaped at escalating voices.

"It's not like it's my choice to be here!" Emmett bellowed, clearly phasing into his louder voice.

"Then why did you fucking come?" Rosalie shrieked back.

Watching the two of them yell at each other helped me kind of begin to understand the fierce fiery relationship they'd shared six years ago and why it was so hard to forget.

I'd never seen anyone stand up to Rose as well as Emmett. She was typically fearless, but there was an edge of vulnerability in her voice as she confronted him. They were like two halves of a puzzle—incomplete apart, but perfectly matched together.

"I love my brothers!" Emmett yelled, face growing redder by the second.

"Love them so much that you don't have a voice of your own?" Rose sneered back.

"Of course I do," he exploded, "you just want to think that this has something to do with you. Can't you focus on someone other than yourself for five seconds?"

I knew I couldn't have been the only one that felt the knife edge of Emmett's words and saw the corresponding pain etched all over Rosalie's face. Edward tensed behind me, and everyone knew this was headed into dangerous personal territory, but I did nothing to stop it and neither did anybody else. We were all struck dumb and still as the fight raged out of control.

"Me?" Rose asked, with a high-pitched innocent voice that was often the forbearer of the Apocalypse, "me self-centered? Let's look at you for a second. Someone who can't even keep it in his fucking pants!"

I had to admit that was a solid shot at Emmett, and he even winced a little as he took the direct hit. Unfortunately, he was not very smooth in his recovery and he chose entirely the wrong track.

"Rosie, baby, listen, I know that was wrong, I didn't want to be there. . ." his voice had dropped to a seductive cajoling, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw the edges of Alice's mouth twist into a smirk. There was nothing Rosalie hated more on earth than men who called her "baby." The fury she was about to unleash on Emmett would make him think he'd merely enjoyed a rainstorm before. He'd have to make it through a hurricane now.

Her voice was dark, low, and so dangerous I couldn't believe it belonged to a girl who looked like she was chock full of sunshine and rainbows. "What did you call me?" Rose took a step towards him, eyes menacing, hands clenching into fists.

Emmett almost fell over backwards backing up, forcing an almost full-blown chuckle out of Alice. I had to admit that despite my reservations about this knockdown, drag-out fight, it was pretty amusing seeing Emmett scared to death of Rosalie.

"Uh. . .uh. . .baby?" Emmett's voice was devoid of the confidence it had held earlier. She'd clearly gained the upper hand.

"Nobody," she announced, "calls me that and lives."

Emmett's eyes went wide and this time my laugh joined Alice's. Edward squeezed the hand he'd yet to let go of, and that was clearly my signal to shut up. I compressed my lips and tried to think of dying babies or Britney Spears shaving her head. Anything to keep from breaking into hysterical giggles.

Rose was nearly stalking him now, shoving a pointy fingertip into his chest as she advanced on him.

"I'm sorry. Really. It's a bad habit."

"Terrible," she agreed, not backing down one bit.

"What can I do to make it up to you?" Emmett made a lunge for the forgotten box of chocolate croissants that Jasper had left on a side table. "Croissant?" he offered, opening the box and letting us three rabid girls smell the chocolaty pastry.

"Do you really think, Emmett, that some sort of peace offering would really _compensate _me for all the things you've ever done to me?" Her voice was a patronizing sneer.

Lowering the box, Emmett sighed. "Rosalie, I made a mistake. One freaking mistake. What else have I ever done to you?"

Crossing her arms over her chest, she looked at him like he was a miniscule insect she'd like to crush, instead of a huge 6'4" man who dripped muscle.

"Everything," she spat.

"Then I give up," Emmett roared. "You don't ever want to talk to me again, fine. But clearly this is about more than just me and you."

"Oh yes," Rosalie agreed, and all of our jaws dropped. Never in a million years had I expected her to agree with _anything _Emmett said.

"This is definitely about more than just me and you," she offered slyly, "I'd say it's more about . . . trespassing." She flung the last word at him like a javelin and Emmett went pale.

Calmly, she walked over to the phone, and all any of us could do was gape at her.

Edward was the first to regain his voice. "Rose," he pleaded, turning on the charm full-blast, "you really don't need to do that. I know we barged in a bit uninvited, shall we say, but we're friends. There's no need to involve the cops."

Rose shot him an incredulous look, not swallowing any of his dazzling charm. "He," she said, pointing, but refusing to look, at Emmett, "is not invited, nor is he my friend. You may all think I'm stupid, but Jasper clearly isn't going to leave unless Alice asks him, and despite what she may say, that's not going to happen anytime soon."

Another giggle escaped me at the outraged expression that dawned on Alice's face at Rosalie's pronouncement. I should have done what Edward wanted and kept my mouth shut because next, she rounded on me, blue eyes flashing lightning flame.

"And you!" she nearly shrieked, "don't get me _started _on you, Bella. You may pretend to be little Miss Innocent here, but your goo-goo ga-ga eyes at Mr. Charming don't go as far over my head as you might think." With that closing statement, Rose turned her attention back to the phone and kept dialing. Part of me was skeptical that she even knew the number for the police. Surely she wouldn't call 911?

God I hoped not.

I thought about flashing a frantic look in Alice's direction, but face set with determination, she'd already started toward Rose.

"Rose, sweetheart," she cooed, all sweetness and light, attempting to make us forget the evil pixie that lurked inside, "you need to take a deep breath and put the phone down."

"No," Rosalie replied, but I could see her hands stall on the buttons. Either she'd forgotten the number or Alice was a greater miracle-worker than even I'd given her credit for.

"You know you don't want to do this." Alice was all emotionless logic, and it was hard to deny that it was the truth. Maybe a little more unvarnished than we typically gave Rose, but honest truth all the same. She didn't really want to turn Emmett into the cops. We all knew that—except maybe for Emmett, who didn't look like he'd taken an easy breath in the last minute or so.

Rosalie sighed and placed the phone back in its holder. Like most of Rose's temper tantrums, we'd just had to ride her out until she calmed down. I'd seen a few of them in my time, and the only one who seemed truly capable at luring her out of the zone was Alice, though I'd managed a few instances on my own. But even those times, with Alice, Rose had never looked as peaceful and relaxed as she did in this particular moment.

I wondered if maybe Edward had been right to let them go at it. Maybe this was a fight that had been six long years in the making, and now that it was finally over with, they could both calm down and spew a little less angst in our general direction.

"Let's make more pancakes," Alice suggested, clearly changing the subject and trying to move on while the going was good.

I nodded, and both Edward and Emmett chimed in their agreement. Jasper stayed silent, but then I was beginning to realize that he was much quieter than anyone else. I found it strange that Alice, who was one of the most talkative people I knew, and the most hyperactive to boot, would desire someone who seemed resolutely calm and collected. I chalked it up to the mysteries of life and love.

Edward bent over my palm solicitously, checking the burn I'd incurred earlier.

"Looks good," he pronounced, "I'm glad we got ice on it right away."

"What are you, a doctor?" I teased, smiling up at him.

"No," he laughed, sending my heart into stutters, "my father is, though. Dr. Carlisle Cullen. And I'm glad it's fine. You scared me there for a minute."

"So did you," I said, and knew triumph and glee when he grinned sheepishly.

"I'm sorry about that, by the way. Really. . .it was unbearably rude of us to just come walking in."

"No," I replied, in what I hoped was a low enough voice that Alice and Jasper, starting a new batch of pancakes, couldn't hear, "that wasn't what surprised me."

"Me standing in your apartment, uninvited, didn't surprise you?"

I laughed inwardly at the loop I was about to throw him for. "Well, maybe a little. But that wasn't the real surprise."

I glanced backwards, quickly, hoping that Emmett and Rosalie weren't paying any attention either. Thankfully, they had fallen into some sort of discussion over a magazine on the coffee table. I was surprised to see them talking again, and not just screaming at each other, but at that moment I didn't care. I wanted to rock Edward Cullen's world and I knew exactly how to do it.

"So what was the real surprise?"

I reached out and up under his t-shirt and snagged a finger on the waistband of his shorts, reveling in the look of shock on his face, and the way the simple brush of my skin on his had sent shivers down my spine. I pulled him a little closer to me and smiled conspiratorially.

"This," I nearly whispered, "was the _big _surprise."

The green of his eyes darkened and the pupils expanded. I swore I thought I heard a rustling sound right under my finger, and heat whooshed through me.

"Tell me," he murmured, "that you have to get something in your room right now."

"I do?" I asked almost innocently.

"You do," he replied, his eyes making me all sorts of promises of what I might get if I complied with his demand.

I turned to the rest of the group, who were still not paying any attention to us at all, and announced, "I'll be right back."

Alice looked up distractedly from the griddle and didn't even say anything. I figured it was probably because Jasper was so close to her that they were nearly touching. The air crackled between them, and I wondered how long it would take for them both to stop fighting the inevitable.

Rose and Emmett were still deep in whatever subject they'd started before, and didn't respond either. It was just as well. I didn't really want anyone putting two and two together.

I quickly walked down the hallway, waiting for the sound of the footsteps behind me. I heard them almost immediately.

Turning, I grabbed Edward's hand and pulled him into my room, and shut the door behind us. _We were alone, really alone,_ I thought, giddy with the possibilities. Edward clearly thought the same way because the second I leaned my back on the door behind me, laughing and trying to catch my breath, he swooped down and grabbed me.

"You are an evil, _evil _tease," he mumbled into my ear, "and you need to be taught some manners."

"Oh?" I asked coquettishly, looking up at him from under my lashes.

"Yes," Edward replied, right before his mouth descended on mine and I stopped thinking completely. The kiss was wild and hot, his lips slanting over mine hungrily, like he couldn't get enough of the me.

"God," he stammered, briefly coming up for air, "you taste like fucking chocolate."

I managed to get one incoherent giggle in, before he slammed me back against the door and proceeded to devour me all over again. I hitched a leg over his hip and he must have liked that idea because he grabbed my other leg and held me there, against the door, as he completely and totally ravished my mouth.

"Bella, you are amazing," Edward whispered fiercely, cradling my head in his hands, before they skimmed down my body and slid under my shirt. He pulled me close to him, his palms flat on the sides of my torso and I felt the immediate sizzle through my body at the feeling of his hands on my body. It felt amazing and I wanted _more._

"Um, thanks?" I offered a bit dizzily, not exactly sure what to say, and really, at this moment, not sure which way was even up. "You're pretty awesome yourself," I added lamely, but his face broke out into a huge, genuine smile. As if he didn't already know he was spectacular, I grumbled.

His hands, with those incredibly long fingers, were stroking my skin, and I wanted to purr like a cat. Suddenly, without warning, he stopped mid-stroke.

"What?" I asked self-consciously, wondering if he'd found something he didn't like. Then, before he could even open his mouth to answer, I realized what he'd felt on my skin, and I had to school myself not to blush. Maybe it was better that we were going to have this conversation now.

"Is this what I think it is?" he inquired with wonder in his voice.

I nodded. I didn't trust myself to talk right now. We hadn't had any time to talk about what this was between us, but before we could even do that, we were going to talk about having sex. My whole body burned for it, but my mind fluttered with butterflies.

I was completely unprepared for his reaction.

He grabbed me hard, and pressed me to the door with his body, and started kissing me like he could never get enough.

"Wait," I said, barely managing to crane my neck so he couldn't reach my lips with his. He simply changed tactics and trailed kisses down the column of my neck. I frowned, despite that whatever it was he was doing felt _amazing_.

"Wait!" I said again, this time with a lot louder and firmer voice. He looked up at me, green eyes questioning.

"That . .. turned you on? That I'm wearing a birth control patch?" My voice was unsure and a bit shaky. I might talk a lot about freedom and self-expression, but I rarely practiced what I preached.

"Bella," he breathed out, "I like you. A lot. And if we ever make it into bed, I'm going to thank my lucky stars that I don't have to worry about getting you pregnant, because I'm already sure that any self-control I have dissolves around you." And then he bent in and kissed me again, while I was still weak-kneed at that incredible declaration.

If Edward kissed that well, I didn't even want to know what he was like with everything else.

We finally broke apart, gasping, when I heard Alice call me from the kitchen. _Damn it_. She knew exactly what was going on, and she'd obviously decided to call in part of what I owed her from interrupting her Jasper dream. Apparently if she wasn't getting any, none of us could.

"We need," he said, holding me close, "to continue this. But we need to see what Alice wants, since she seems determined to ruin our fun. I'll go first, and you can follow in a few moments."

I nodded, and felt an instantaneous loss when he released me, gave me a last quick peck on the lips and taking a few deep breaths, opened the door. He was clearly trying to calm down, and I couldn't help myself—I stole another look in his shorts and felt my eyebrows raise. He couldn't go back out there like this.

"Do you want to use the bathroom first?" I asked, trying to keep the laughter out of my voice.

Completely unselfconscious, he nodded. "That would be good. Where is it?"

"Next door, to the left," I said, leaning out the doorway a little and pointing in the general direction.

"Good," he said, and walked towards it.

Taking a deep sigh of my own, I squared my shoulders back and went to face the Grand Inquisitor that was Alice.

* * *

APOV

I didn't need to be psychic to know why Edward and Bella had decided to sneak out. The issue he'd been having with his shorts earlier coupled with the shit-eating grin on her transparent face as she waltzed out of the kitchen said it all. I still had no reason to trust Edward, but I felt unable to really get a clear handle on the situation when Jasper was standing practically on top of me, apparently supervising.

I tried to tell myself that having Jasper as a supervisor wasn't nearly setting the soles of my feet on fire, but I was sick of lying to myself. I wanted him, and it pissed me off that, though he clearly felt the same, he refused to do anything about it. Apparently the last six years were meaningless in that regard. He still couldn't come up with the balls to make a move. Luckily, I'd managed to grow a pair since our first encounters, and this time around, I was determined to make a move on him if he continued playing hands-off.

Clumsily, I turned a pancake, the batter splattering in droplets over the griddle. I could feel, but not see, Jasper's frown. I wasn't great in the kitchen on the best day. With Jasper overseeing my every movement, and my hands shaky as a result, I was mostly, if not completely, incompetent.

The thick sickly-sweet smell of chocolate filled the air around us and I swore I felt Jasper move even closer behind me, the fabric of my slip so thin that I could distinctly feel his body heat grow hotter.

Then I felt what could only have been his granite cock nestle right up against my silk-covered ass, and my immediately-weak knees threatened to give out on me.

"Jasper," I hissed helplessly, panic streaking through me that he was going to draw Emmett and Rosalie's attention over here.

"Hush," he whispered, his voice caressing me, and I had a sudden, steaming hot flashback of my dream from last night, "they are so absorbed in each other they wouldn't notice if a bomb went off."

"And is that what you're going to do, Mr. Unibomber?" I replied weakly, my usually snotty attitude shrinking in the face of his undeniable lust for me.

He chuckled, clearly amused until I, unable to help myself one second longer, arched my back and rubbed every so slightly against him. Letting out the most painfully adorable squeal, he jumped back from me, and I felt disappointment swell in my chest. _Why had he pulled away?_ I nearly groaned in frustration.

As if none of this had just happened, he reverted back into professional mode and pointed out the rapidly burning pancakes. "Pay attention, Alice," he chastised, "there's only so much batter left."

I wanted to pout and beat my small fists against his deliciously broad chest. I swear the man played hot and cold better than any girl I'd ever met. But I feigned complete disinterest and carefully flipped the pancakes, proud that the trembling in my hands had completely subsided.

"Bella!" I yelled, determined that if I wasn't going to get any, _nobody _was going to get any.

Bella appeared in the kitchen, looking suitably ashamed of her swollen lips and overly bright eyes. The look that she exchanged when Edward walked in was pure sex. I wondered how much they'd managed to get done before I'd interrupted them.

All six of us sat down at the dining room table, and though I'd initially been apprehensive, considering all the conflicting emotional baggage, but this gathering was night and day from our dinner the evening before.

Who would have known that letting Rosalie hatchet into Emmett would have relaxed her so completely? It was almost, I sniffed, as if she'd managed to get laid in the ten minutes I'd been completely distracted by Jasper. I would have noticed if she'd left, right?

"Pancake?" Edward asked me solicitously, handing me the steaming platter.

"Yes, thanks," I answered distractedly, trying not to watch as Jasper turned all that incredible focus onto his plate. Whatever needed his attention got the full dose. I never thought that would ever send a wave of lust through me, but I so desperately wanted to be the one in his crosshairs.

"So how long have you guys been planning this business?" Rosalie asked, jerking me out of my fantasy of being on Jasper's plate instead of the pancakes. She was talking? Without anyone prodding her? And if I wasn't mistaken she'd directed that question right at Emmett, despite the general pronoun she'd used.

Emmett, clearly picking up that particular signal, answered for the Cullen brothers.

"Since high school really. We make an awesome team—each of us really has a different talent, and they all work so well together."

"Let me guess, yours is the cars," Bella teased.

"Yep," Emmett beamed and if I wasn't mistaken, he exchanged some sort of look with Rose, who, _holy shit_, smiled back.

I sat back limply in my chair, pancakes and even _chocolate_, forgotten.

"And what about Edward?" Bella asked, sending him a sly little smirk of her own.

"Edward? He sits in front of the computer and wanks off a lot."

Bella snorted with laughter. "Oh, I bet he does," she knowingly gloated.

"And how would you know _that_, Bella Swan?" I asked sternly, eliciting giggles from my prey.

She shrugged, but her face was so full and happy, I felt another slight twinge. The last thing I wanted to happen to her was what had happened with Jas and I. Speaking of Jasper, he was being his typically quiet self. Obviously I'd have to change that.

"And Jasper?" I asked, my eyebrows raised, "does he wank off too?"

The expression in his eyes as they met mine was pure scorching amber. He'd probably never get over that comment, but I hadn't been able to help myself.

"I," he ground out, clearly not happy in the least, "work up all the engineering plans. Emmett experiments, which let me tell you, isn't pretty, and I have to make sense of it all."

"And that's hard?" I asked innocently, even though I had a good idea of how tough it must be. Emmett was neither the neatest or the most consistent guy on the earth.

Jasper glared at Emmett. "It's hell, most of the time. Besides, if anyone has time to wank off, it's Emmett."

Rosalie laughed, knowledge rife through the sound. I was still flabbergasted at the amazing turnaround her attitude had taken, but I certainly wasn't going to oppose such a welcome change.

"It's true," Edward smoothly cut in, "he's had most of this stuff figured out since high school. We're just really refining concepts at this point."

"What's the name?" Bella asked, and I saw the remnants of a serious blush on her cheeks. Bella, the little prude that wanted so desperately to ditch her innocent exterior. However, from the looks that Edward kept giving her, he seemed to like her exactly as she was.

"Cullen Brothers Automotive," Jasper chimed in. Trust him to answer the most boring question that was asked. I rolled my eyes and reminded myself that lust was just lust. I could quench that particular thirst with anybody. It didn't have to be Jasper. He was such a damn stick in the mud.

Still, it was almost as if in the last ten minutes, we'd ceased to be a group of six individuals lugging too much emotional baggage, and we'd forged ourselves into a group.

The pancakes had disappeared and I got up and started to collect the empty plates and used silverware.

Bella started drifting in the direction of the hallway and so did Edward. Big surprise there, I nearly snorted. They were as transparent as a plate glass window. I just hoped they could keep their leg-humping quiet enough.

What was really astonishing, however, was the conversation that Emmett and Rose had launched into again. I caught part of it as I walked between table and kitchen, clearing the dishes, and it sounded like they were talking about her car. I grimaced. I found nothing interesting at all about cars, except that they had to go fast and be nice, with leather and shiny paint. Rosalie was the one who lived for diving under the dirty hood and figuring out how it all worked together.

I had to work to get my jaw up off the floor when they walked out the front door together, clearly going to the garage space where Rosalie's car was parked.

"Amazing, isn't it?" Jasper asked me. I whirled around and he was way too close for my comfort level.

"Uh, yeah," I answered noncommittally, skirting around him with the last of the dishes. I was still kind of pissed that he'd pulled away earlier. What if he was even more of a prude than Bella? _If he was_, I told myself, _I'm going to stop this obsession at once._ No point in lusting after someone who couldn't deliver.

"Do you need any help with the dishes?"

I turned around and, setting the dishes on the counter next to the sink, placed my hands on my hips and sneered. "You don't have to be so nice, Jasper."

He was definitely taken aback by the bitterness in my tone. "Of course I do," he argued, "I couldn't bear to be anything else."

"Oh really?" I said, marching right up to him, despite the warning bells that were going off in my head. I poked my finger right into his chest, and continued. "You can't seem to bear me, so I figure I should just let you off the hook, and you can act however you want."

Jasper smiled, a little too knowingly for my peace of mind, and I backed up a little, suddenly uncomfortable and not entirely sure of what I'd just accused him of.

"Nope," he said, wrapping his arms around my shoulders, and persistently dragging me back to him.

I looked up at him murderously, annoyed that he was so much bigger and stronger than me and that really, I had no choice here. Though, who was I kidding? I'd been dreaming about being in Jasper Cullen's arms for six freaking long years, so I resisted my natural urge to pull away. For ten seconds, neither of us said a word, just warily met each other's eyes, and I knew what was about to happen, and I wanted it and dreaded it all in the same instant, because how could reality live up to my many fantasies?

Instead, I decided to say something entirely _stupid _in a ridiculous attempt to break this tension. "You're so. . .tall," I observed lamely. I was a very verbal person. How could I have dropped the ball so completely? All I could come up with some expository sentence about his height, like he didn't know just how tall he was? _Jesus fucking Christ._

"I'm glad," he murmured, and I felt a sudden roaring in my ears, "because it's a lot easier to do this, if I am." He leaned down slightly, and finally, after six long _long _years of waiting, brushed his lips with mine.

I'd always envisioned our first kiss as some wild thing, fraught with passion and heat. This was entirely different, but _oh so much better_. He kissed me delicately, simply, honestly, like he'd put a lot of thought into this, and kissing me any other way was a travesty.

My arms went around his neck, to pull him closer to me, to try to somehow ignite the passion I'd always imagined. This gentle kiss scared me even more than I'd thought a simple kiss could. There were _feelings _here, and anything to do with Jasper and emotions tended to make me a little crazy, since he was so infernally inconsistent.

He deepened the kiss slowly, taking time to explore my lips and mouth, and figure out exactly what made me squirm with impatience.

When the kiss finally ended, I felt completely disarmed, and totally terrified. His expression was happy, I thought, but he said nothing.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I mumbled, "I guess you're right." I looked up into his eyes and felt my smile wobble a little. Why couldn't he _say something_?

"Alice," he began, with a sigh, and my heart tensed up, waiting for the inevitable, "you're so irresistible."

I was _irresistible_? Okay, I could live with that. At least for now.


	16. Chapter 16

**AN:** Thanks for everyone who voted for me in The Twilight Awards and congrats to the winners!

Check out my new story with my beta, tamelaine, _Going for the Gold_. It's up on my fanfic profile and also on twilighted.

For anyone that's curious, theoretically I'm writing one chapter for TDIG then one for GftG, so chapter 2 for that story should be forthcoming.

Thanks to the wonderful ladies at the twilighted forums for making me laugh so hard I nearly pee my pants and encouraging me. Also my betas: tamelaine, CallistoLexx, Madeleine, and Theresa.

* * *

JPOV

I was a complete tool.

I was self-aware enough to know that from the moment we'd walked in here this morning, I was on dangerous ground. From the way Alice had moved, those slight yet sumptuous hips sliding around to the beat, to that outrageous silk _thing _she'd been wearing, my temptation level had hit a new high.

I hadn't been able to resist supervising her make the new batch of pancakes, even though that amazingly curvaceous butt had been way too close for my brain's comfort. Not my body's, naturally—certain parts of my anatomy had eaten up her adorable lack of finesse in the kitchen. Who knew that watching someone bumble their way through pancakes would be such a turn-on?

Watching as Alice flitted around the kitchen, clearly trying to do anything but meet my eyes, I knew an intense regret for finally giving into my baser, lusting self. I should never have kissed her.

The situation between us had been bad enough before the kiss, but now with my terrible judgment, it had reached epically bad proportions—not just for me, but for her as well.

Resisting the manifold attractions of Alice before had been difficult. Now that I knew what she tasted and felt like, how perfectly her short curvy body could conform to mine, every second of my resistance was now painful.

Now, she believed that my feelings were anything but pretend. Now she thought I wanted her.

_God, I did._

I'd forgotten how insanely crappy it was to be around her and want her so much it hurt.

For the two months or so that Emmett and Rosalie had been together in high school, the two of us had been thrown together pretty frequently. At first, I'd seen it as purely a chore. Stupid, fashion-conscious and ditzy were all words I could have used to describe Alice when I first met her. It didn't take long for those assumptions to fall by the wayside. When she wanted to, she could easily keep up with me in a discussion of any number of topics. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, we rarely agreed, so we spent a good deal of our time together locked in intense debates about music, movies, books, and pretty much anything else we could think of.

Often during lunchtime, when we got sick of Emmett shoving his tongue down Rose's throat, we would escape to the theater, spread our food out on the empty stage and continue our debate, uninterrupted by silly demonstrations of puppy love.

Alice was a fierce arguer, her temper and her determination to win at all costs often overshadowing her diminutive size. Frequently when we were arguing, I'd completely forget that I was even arguing with a girl, and attractive one at that, until she'd twist a ring on her hand or tuck a choppy strand of hair behind her ear, and then suddenly, like a fist to the face, I'd remember far too well.

Every single mannerism of Alice's, every piece of clothing she'd worn, every single conversation we'd had in those two months was branded in my brain and the last six years had done nothing to dull the memories.

I remembered our last lunch debate like it was yesterday.

We'd snuck off again, as Rose and Emmett were snogging in the middle of the lunchroom, and it made both of us a little sick. Also, we disliked the attention that we drew by sitting near them. I mentioned it to Alice as we exited the cafeteria and headed down the hallway to the theater. She shook her head stiffly in response.

"They're not looking at Em and Rose. They're looking at us."

"Us?" I was completely incredulous. What was so interesting about Alice and I?

She hesitated, and then responded so quickly I could barely follow her words. "They think we're together."

"Together?" I could barely wrap my mind around the idea. Alice and I were friends and while I found her nearly criminally attractive, I hadn't had the guts or the glory to take it to the next level. I kept telling myself that I liked her friendship more than anything else, but I could tell that this argument was losing its potency in the fight of brain vs. body.

"Yeah," she mumbled, clearly blushing now.

"Really?" I responded, just as ill at ease as Alice, and having no idea how to right this sinking ship. "Do the girls ask you about it?" I asked, latching onto the first idea I could find.

"Sometimes," her eyes raised level with mine and I felt unmanned and unsteady. Why was it that I felt perfectly comfortable arguing with her for hours but as soon as our conversation headed into anything remotely resembling normalcy, I felt shaky and weird?

_Better not to ask that question,_ I told myself, _you wouldn't like the answer._

"I have to admit I'm a little surprised by that."

Alice chuckled. "You shouldn't be. Girls love to gossip."

"About me?"

Alice sent me a cute little sideways smirk as I opened the door into the theater and she slid past me.

"Jasper," she said patiently, "girls like to gossip about anybody and everybody. Especially," she smirked again, "someone like you."

"Someone like me?" I squeaked.

Nodding in affirmation, Alice nimbly lifted herself up to the stage. Crossing her ankles, she turned toward me, annoyance rife on her face. "Of course someone like you," she said with a indelicate snort I found unbelievably hot. _God_, I thought, _I'm losing what's left of my mind._

I simply raised one of my eyebrows at her. She frowned back and cracked open her diet Coke.

"Are you going to tell me or not?" I finally was forced into asking.

"You really want to know?"

I groaned. "I _did _ask."

"Fine. You want to know, I'll tell you. You're hot, Jasper. Smoking hot. Every girl in school wants to jump your bones."

I felt my jaw hit the floor in record time. "Wh-wh-what?"

Alice crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me. "You're not going to make me say it again."

"I don't want you to say it again," I snapped, "I want you to _explain_."

"Explain why girls think you're hot?" Alice seemed incredulous. Who could really blame her? But I couldn't seem to help myself.

"Well. . .yeah," I stammered.

Alice's lips pressed into a tight line and I felt her annoyance resonate through me. She stayed silent, only sipping out of her diet Coke and nibbling on the sandwich she'd bought from the cafeteria.

Obviously I'd have to backtrack—or try a different angle.

"So, you said _every _girl in school. . ."

"Yep, everyone except Rosalie, that's because she's forgotten other males besides Emmett even exist," Alice replied absentmindedly, not even bothering to look up from her sandwich. "Why do they put pickles in the turkey? That's gross."

I shrugged. "It's Forks High School. Very little they do makes logical sense." I paused, half-thinking I was cracked to even bring this up, but I continued anyway. "So you think I'm hot, then?"

Alice stopped fussing with her sandwich, and those incredibly expressive gray eyes met mine. Her face was so blank I had no idea what was going through that convoluted head of hers, but I wanted to know. _Desperately._

"Yes," she whispered.

"You think I'm hot?" my voice dropped down a decibel to mirror hers. I had no idea why we were taking so quietly but it seemed to make sense.

She nodded slowly. "Yes."

I couldn't take my eyes away from her face. Of course she was beautiful and I should probably say so right now, but my tongue felt swollen and the words stuck in the back of my throat like phlegm. I wanted us to be _friends_. If I told her I thought she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever met, fifty times more stunning than her cousin Rosalie, I wasn't sure what would happen to this comfortable camaraderie that had unexpectedly grown between us.

Suddenly, she tore her gaze away from mine and focused it back on that damn sandwich. I spotted bright red flags of color burning high on her cheekbones. She was embarrassed.

_Correction_, I told myself, _you embarrassed her._

"Alice," I stammered, desperate to say something to fix my obvious mistake in not speaking up sooner, but before I could get anymore out of my mouth, the bell rang.

She jumped down off the stage faster than I'd thought possible, and before I could even grasp what was happening, she was halfway out the door.

Great. I'd have to catch her after school and grovel. And I knew that the more time that passed between this incident and the subsequent apology, the more groveling I'd be forced to do.

Except that I never got the chance.

I couldn't find her in the halls, and as I walked to the parking lot to meet Emmett and Edward, I felt a fearsome combination of worry and anger surge within me. All I wanted to do was sit in my room and try to figure out what had imperceptibly changed between Alice and I in the last twenty-four hours.

Unfortunately, I knew the moment I stepped through the door that they'd left me. _Again_.

There was no sleek silver Volvo in the parking lot. I marched down the steps, enraged at my brothers for not waiting. Just as I was about to pull my cell phone from my pocket, I heard my name being called across the lot. I looked up and there was Edward, sitting by himself, on a small field beside the parking area.

I stalked over to him, and was even more annoyed at his unconcerned expression.

"Hey Jas," he said to me, his eyes closed, soaking up the little bit of sun that was trying to fight through the stifling clouds.

"Where the fuck is Emmett?" I asked, purposefully neglecting to match his friendly greeting.

Edward shrugged. "He tackled me, took the keys to the Volvo and drove off."

I gaped at his cavalier treatment of the events. "He took your car and you're not pissed?" This seemed completely unlike Edward.

"Oh, I'm furious as hell, but what am I supposed to do? I already called Esme by the way."

"Well that's great news," I replied more than a little sarcastically, "good thing we won't end up stranded here."

Edward sighed and I grew suspicious.

"What did you do?" I asked, suddenly comprehending that Edward's _laissez-faire_ attitude had everything to do with what he thought he deserved and nothing to do with outrage.

He was silent for a good minute and I began to wonder if he'd heard me at all.

"He and Rose broke up."

I gaped at his news, and tried to stamp down the fear that was rapidly ballooning at the thought of never being able to talk to Alice again.

"What did he do?" I demanded. I knew that Emmett never would have dumped Rosalie. It had to be the other way around.

"He kissed Lauren Mallory." Edward's voice was clipped and emotionless, but I had a pretty good idea about what was running below the surface. Edward wasn't as quiet as me, but he and I understood each other the best.

"Was he _insane_?" None of us liked Lauren, with her crazily predatory ways.

"Unfortunately no," Edward sighed again, "it was a bet."

I instinctively knew who had been the one to initiate the bet. "I don't feel sorry for you at all. Even if he wrecks the Volvo," I said, incredulously.

"He won't. It would take too much time to fix."

I considered telling Edward just how angry _I _was for him likely ruining the beginning of what could have been a great friendship with Alice, but before I could say anything, we saw Esme drive into the empty lot. Standing up and brushing off my jeans, I took in her angry expression from behind the steering wheel and gave Edward a sympathetic look.

"If Esme finds out that you broke up Emmett and Rosalie, you're going to be in such deep shit."

"Dude," Edward said, "I'm already in deep shit." I couldn't deny that he was right. Both Emmett _and _Esme were going to kill him, then Carlisle was going to come home to pick up the pieces.

When we climbed into the back of Esme's Mercedes SUV, her lips were pressed tightly together and there was a terribly fury etched on her face.

"Could you please tell me," she asked, her tone short and dangerously calm, "why Emmett has the Volvo and why he left the two of you at school?"

I opened my mouth to try to explain, but Edward smoothly cut me off. "I'm so sorry. It's my fault."

Esme waited patiently for him to continue but obviously more explanation was not forthcoming. "Are you going to tell me why Emmett took off with your car?"

"Nope." Edward's eyes never left the window, not once turning towards Esme's in the rearview mirror.

She sighed with frustration. "Fine. But I know that when your brother and your father get home, this is going to get discussed." Esme's voice was in inexorable, and though she was the kindest, sweetest person, we all knew that a spine of steel lay underneath. We also knew that Carlisle was not going to be very happy with us.

When we finally reached the house and pulled in the driveway, it was hard to miss the silver Volvo sitting in the asphalt loop in front of the porch.

Entering the house, I couldn't blame Edward for heading right to his room and the protection of a locked door. We'd both pissed Emmett off enough times to know that hiding was much safer than direct confrontation. It was also safer for Esme's furniture. Carlisle was going to be mad enough at us without destruction added to the mix.

The house was so quiet, I had a feeling I knew where I'd find Emmett. In the garage, trying to working out his anger the only way he knew how.

Before I could head out the door, Esme grabbed me by the arm and steered me into the kitchen.

"Tell me what happened," she ordered, motioning to a bar stool.

I decided that there was no point in being anything but honest—and Esme knew I'd feel that way. I was the most straightforward of the three of us, and the least likely to evade her questions.

"Emmett and Rosalie broke up."

"Oh no," Esme gasped, her dismay evident, "what happened?"

I shrugged. I knew a little and had surmised a bit more, but all the concrete information I had was that they'd broken up and it was, unsurprisingly, my stupid brother's fault. Which one remained to be seen.

"That's really too bad," Esme said and I had to nod in agreement.

"I was going to find Emmett and see if he wanted to talk. . ." I trailed off, hoping that Esme would wave me off, which she did.

"Go find him and see if he'll talk. I'll deal with Edward and your father when he gets home."

I jumped off the stool and headed out the back door towards the shop. As soon as I opened the door, I knew I'd found him.

Stone Temple Pilots were blaring over the speakers and I heard a determined metal banging noise adding to the cacophony.

"Emmett!" I yelled, wandering around the shop, looking for the source of the banging.

Finally I found him, in the corner of the building, hammering out a piece of sheet metal. I wasn't sure why the music was so loud if he was wearing ear protection. I tossed a dirty rag at him to get his attention. He looked up, startled, and I noticed then that his eyes were suspiciously red.

Emmett pulled his protective eyeglasses and the headgear off. Reaching over towards the stereo, he turned down the angry 90's rock.

"What are you doing here?" He certainly didn't look happy to see me, but then Emmett had constructed a whole image based on looking strong and tough. He hated it when anyone saw him looking weak or vulnerable.

"Are you okay?" I asked, responding to his question with one of my own.

He shrugged and his eyes returned to the metal he'd been working on.

Finally he spoke up. "It was my fault anyway. I mean, only I would be stupid enough to mess up one of the best things that ever happened to me."

"So you really did kiss Lauren then," I stated, rather than asked. Somehow I hadn't believed it could be true. Emmett was stupid, yes, but not insane.

He nodded. "Worst mistake of my life."

I gestured to the metal on his work table. "You need any help?"

"No. Kinda just want to be alone."

"Okay," I replied, taking his hint. Emmett was not a good person to cross on his best days—in this mood, you'd have to be crazy to take him on.

As I walked back into the house, through the garden that had somehow become so associated with Alice and the "good times," I had a feeling that everything had changed. I didn't need to go grovel tomorrow morning. She wouldn't want to see me—and not because I hadn't told her she was beautiful. She was never going to want to see me again because she loved Rosalie and it would be wrong to continue being my friend when my brother had treated her sister so monstrously.

I'd been right. Alice and I never spoke again, unless it was absolutely impossible to avoid it, and even then, we did it without exactly looking at each other and our sentences were as clipped and short as possible. Then a year and a half later, we'd both gone off to college and left Forks behind. I'd honestly never expected to see her again, and in the still of the night, if that left me feeling bitter, so be it. I'd come to the conclusion that Alice had been an anomaly. I wanted someone so much different. Someone romantic and sweet and kind. Someone who wouldn't argue with everything I said. Someone who could care less what they put on in the mornings and who didn't carry around a ten pound copy of Vogue magazine at all times.

"Jasper?" Alice asked, snapping me out of my reverie, "do you still like Weezer?"

"Uh, yes. Of course," I replied, surprised she even had to ask.

She nodded her head briskly. "Thought so." She went over to the iPod, selected a playlist and grabbing the remote, sat down on the couch in the living room opposite the kitchen.

Cautiously, wondering what this was all about, I joined her on the couch.

The music started and I immediately recognized it. Of course she'd picked Pinkerton. Maybe she'd remembered as much about me as I'd remembered about her.

As the opening chords of "Tired of Sex" blared over the speakers, all I could think was that the _last thing _I could possibly say was that I was tired of sex. Especially not with Alice sitting here barely clothed.

"You know what I heard recently that made total sense?" Alice asked, during a lull in the music.

"Hmmmm?"

"Pinkerton is loosely based around Puccini's opera, _Madame Butterfly_."

"It _is _not," I spluttered, "whoever you heard that from is _wrong_."

Alice's voice edged up in volume. "If you really took the time to listen to the lyrics, and knew _anything _about _Madame Butterfly _you'd see you're wrong."

I was becoming more and more annoyed. Weezer had been one of my favorite bands forever and the thought that Alicecould know more about them than me was galling. Even more infuriating was her assumption that I knew nothing about opera. _She should_ _know me better than that._

"Excuse me, I definitely know _something _about both Madame Butterfly and Weezer. There is no way that they are interconnected at all." My voice took on that official tone that I used when I wanted to end a discussion with my opinion as the last word.

"For fuck's sake, it was called Pinkerton, Jasper," she drawled.

"Pinkerton?"

"I thought you said you knew _Madame Butterfly_."

"I do."

She sighed. "What, then, is the main male character called in the opera?"

"How am I supposed to remember minor details like that?" I snapped back, annoyed that instead of my proclamation ending the argument, it had instead incited the must-win streak in Alice.

"The main character's name is hardly a minor detail and in any case, it's fucking Lieutenant B.F. _Pinkerton_."

"Coincidence," I insisted, more rattled than I wanted her to see.

"Okay, fine, maybe. But the themes of the songs fit so well into the opera's plot."

"Like?" I countered.

"Well let's start with possibly the greatest song off the album. . ." she started, and glared at me when I almost jumped in to correct her, "Jasper, I know you think that 'Pink Triangle' is the greatest Weezer song but I have to submit 'El Scorcho' for that particular honor."

I raised my eyebrows in doubt. I found 'El Scorcho' hooky and dumb. Nothing resembling the deep introspectiveness of 'Pink Triangle.'

"Anyway, "Alice said pointedly, continuing her argument, "in 'El Scorcho,' Rivers refers to Cio-Cio San, which is the real name of Madame Butterfly."

"Just because he uses two characters names from Madame Butterfly in the album and songs doesn't mean that Pinkerton is influenced by the opera."

"Fine. You obviously don't want to be convinced. But you should really give Rivers more credit. He went to Harvard for god's sake. Clearly the man is smart enough to rework an opera in a punk album. Just check out Wikipedia sometime and then you'll understand." Alice's voice was shrill and bitchy and I recognized this as a good point to stop arguing, at least for the time being.

Besides, 'Falling for You' was just starting and I didn't want to audaciously talk through such a masterpiece.

As we sat and listened, I tried hard not to pay attention to the lyrics, but I failed both at blocking them out and at not managing to apply them to my own personal situation.

I was _not _falling for Alice. That way lay disaster. I needed to stay strong and emotionally uninvolved. Unfortunately this song, even more than usual, seemed to hit a resonating note within me, and I remembered again the way I'd felt that day in high school when I'd realized our friendship was over.

Cursing myself a million different ways, I slowly reached out a hand toward hers. She looked at me strangely for a half second, wondering what I was after I suppose, then, finally, she smiled in comprehension. And with the last chords of 'Falling for You' echoing around us, our fingers intertwined and for the first time since seeing Alice again, I began to feel some measure of peace.

* * *

EmPOV

I'd never seen Rosie this schizophrenic. First, she'd been beyond furious. I'd never been so grateful to Alice as I was in the moment she talked Rosalie down from calling the police. I suppose I should have said something, but the words had stuck in my throat. It shouldn't have been, but it was extraordinarily hurtful, _still_, to have her hate me that much. I told myself that I hadn't spoken because I hadn't wanted to piss her off more, but in reality, I'd been stunned into silence by her virulent hatred and the subsequent pain it caused.

_God damn it. When was I ever going to get over this? Maybe sometime in the next hundred years? Longer?_

I nearly groaned in frustration. I'd thought that the police incident had been the worst I'd have to endure during this visit, but I was _so wrong_.

Having Rose furious at me was bad enough—having her be friendly was like walking through the Gates of Hell.

As soon as our explosive argument ended, the frozen shoulder she'd been giving me since forever had promptly melted, throwing me more for a loop than the anger had.

She'd asked me if I'd read the new Car & Driver magazine and had indicated on her coffee table that she had the most recent issue. I'd mentally thrown up my hands and decided that if she was going to be civil, I could follow suit.

"Yeah, I thought the article about the new 'Vette was pretty interesting. Nice styling. Good power package."

Rose nodded, listening carefully and obviously thinking out her response as I spoke. As hot as she was, what had always made her fifty times hotter to me was her love and understanding of my greatest passion.

"It seems like GM finally got their head out of their collective asses," she replied, with a cautious and almost shy smile. Nervously, she nudged the magazine underneath it and I paused.

"You subscribe to _4x4_?" I asked incredulously.

If I hadn't thought it patently impossible, I could have sworn Rosie blushed and in response to those flushed cheeks I felt something thrilling rush through me.

"Um," she stumbled, clearly disarmed by my discovery, "occasionally. I find the technical help sections invaluable."

"Really?" I said, trying to tell little Emmett that now was not the best time to get excited about Rose's apparent enthusiasm for automobile mechanics.

This time the blush was unmistakable and little Emmett, far from being dissuaded, roared in delight.

She ducked her head slightly, as if she was trying to hide her reaction, and I was both horrified and fascinated by it. The former because as much as I might try to fight it, my feelings for her had never completely died out. The embers clearly still burned in the corners of my heart. The latter because I wanted nothing more than the very best for Rosalie, and I was convinced that could never be me.

"Bella has a Grand Jeep Cherokee," she finally admitted, "and I keep trying to convince her to upgrade some of the engine and the exhaust."

"Did you at least get a K&N on her?" _Good Emmett_, I told myself, _talk really technical and get even more turned on._

Rosie looked at me like I'd just come unhinged. "That's an insult to my skills, Emmett Cullen."

"I was just testing you," I joked jovially, lightheartedly hitting her on the arm. For a half second her expression was one of shock, but she quickly rearranged it back to normal and smiled again—much bigger this time. I didn't know what it was, but screaming at each other had seemed to burn all the old anger and bitterness between us away. Truthfully, I was more worried now than I'd been before. The old heartbreak had been a nice safe wall. Now that it was broken down and gone, she was in danger of causing me to fall for her all over again.

We were interrupted by Alice announcing that the pancakes were done. Sitting down at the table with my brothers and Alice, Bella and Rose, I had to admit that we made a pretty cozy, comfortable group. I couldn't have been more surprised.

After the pancakes were gone, I approached Rose again, emboldened by her clear interest in my work at the table, and by the conversation we'd had earlier.

"You want to show me the mods you've made recently on the R32?" I asked casually, half-hoping she'd deny me flat the way she'd done the night before when I'd asked her to dance. She could never know that I was more in danger of tackling her to the hood of a car than I'd been of seducing her on the dance floor.

Unfortunately an amazing and genuine smile bloomed on her beautiful face and I felt like I'd just been slammed in the face with a metal folding chair, WWE-style.

I was in such deep shit. There was almost no way I'd be able to keep my hands to myself with her dressed that way and in a garage, talking about what she had under her hood.

Still, I followed her out to the garage she rented from the townhouse community, reading myself a litany of what I was absolutely forbidden to do.

* * *

RPOV

I couldn't believe how I'd acted since nearly calling the police on Emmett and his brothers. Okay, I couldn't believe I'd almost done that either. But at least calling the police had made some logical sense. I had every right to be as furious as I was that they'd just showed up in _my _townhouse on a Sunday morning, uninvited and unwanted.

Okay, maybe two out of the three of the Cullens had been wanted. Alice had clearly renewed whatever high school _tendre _she'd had for Jasper, and Bella could barely keep her eyes or her hands off Edward.

As for me and Emmett, we were just the odd ones out, and even taking my broken heart into consideration, it made me extraordinarily edgy. That edginess, combined with my sleepless and emotional night, had combined to push me into the deep end where Emmett was concerned.

But the way I'd felt around him after our fight was completely unexpected. It was as if every ounce of anger, resentment and hatred I'd carried around for the last six years spilled out of me, and now I felt strangely empty. Empty and comfortable.

Truthfully, I liked feeling empty a lot better than being a mass of burning bitter rage, so I rolled with the punches, and asked him about the new Car & Driver as my own version of a white flag.

Now we were outside, headed to my garage and I had no earthly idea why I'd agreed so readily. I was supposed to hate Emmett, except that hatred was the last thing I was feeling right now, much to my dismay.

"My garage isn't that big," I threw over my shoulder apologetically, as we walked the short distance from the townhouse to the shed-like building that housed my most precious possession.

Emmett simply shrugged, as unconcerned about that as he'd ever been. One of the reasons I'd loved Em was his laidback attitude. The only time I'd ever seen him truly rattled was the day I'd caught him in the classroom kissing Lauren Mallory.

_Bad. Don't go there._

Good thing we'd reached the garage because I was now distracted by how close he stood as I pushed the garage opener and the door raised.

Emmett was immediately inside, prowling around the small space that the R32 didn't occupy.

"It's still gorgeous," he sighed.

I smirked at him. "That was unlikely to change."

He rose from the bent position he'd been in to peer inside the driver's window, and looked me straight on, his dark blue eyes boring into my lighter ones.

"Definitely," he said in a low and serious voice, "unlikely to change." It was hard to mistake that instead of my car, he was referring to me. I suppose I should have felt gratified that he still found me attractive. I certainly still found _him _way too good-looking. But instead of relief, I knew only a straight shot of panic as I felt my heartbeat accelerate.

An easy but charged silence built between us, as Emmett gave the R32 an incredibly careful and thorough examination. I had to counsel myself not to remember the way that Emmett had seduced me with that same controlled passion. I sighed and leaned against the wall. It was inevitable that I would remember. I'd never felt such incredible oneness and pleasure as I'd felt with him. Of course, I would _die _before I admitted it to him. He didn't have to know that his sex had pretty much ruined me for every other guy's.

"You've done a great job, Rosie," he finally admitted, running a hand carefully along one of the graceful sleek lines of the car.

"As good a job as you could have done?" I asked.

He only grinned.

"Guess not," I snapped back with annoyance.

"Rosie, seriously. It's a fabulous car, and you've done a magical job with it. But, this is my job, and it's just your hobby. There's a few propositions I might have for you." He'd fully circled the R32 now and came to a stop beside me. _Way too close for comfort_, I thought.

"Propositions?" My eyebrow lifted and his grin grew wider.

I felt the burning low in my stomach at his frankly sexual smile, and attempted to block my much wetter panties from my mind.

"You know. Propositions." Emmett stepped even closer and my heartbeat skittered out of control.

"What kind of propositions?" I asked, my voice growing quieter. We were on such dangerous ground now that I couldn't help but indulge. There was something about him that had always egged me on, and _god damn him_, he was doing it now, irregardless of what a truly awful idea it was.

"Let me draw up a few ideas and I'll run them by you. Just some performance-enhancers." His voice had never seemed more seductive to me than in that moment, and I probably would have done anything he'd asked of me: jumping off a bridge, trying crack, maybe even kissing him.

I didn't reply that I remembered all too well his lack of need for any performance-enhancers. His sexual ego was already large enough.

"Okay. We should probably get back to the house," I said, a little too breathlessly for my liking, "whenever you get the plans done, just email them to me and I'll take a look."

He glanced up at me from under heavy-lidded midnight blue eyes. "I'll make sure to do that."

"Good," I said, moving out of the garage, ready for this interlude to be over. I didn't know much more my heart or my panties could take.

"Okay," he said, smirking at me again as he followed me. I tried to reason with myself that he couldn't possibly know how flustered he made me. There was no way.

I clicked the button to shut the garage door and tried desperately not to imagine me plastered against him, my back to the wall, our hands and tongues exploring. . .

_Rosalie!_ I yelled at myself, _that is not helping at all._

* * *

EPOV

I had to get myself under control. From the moment I'd woken up this morning with the fantasy of a naked Bella playing through my head, I'd had little to zero finesse. I'd been attracted to women before—plenty of times—but never had I felt as if I were spiraling out of control.

_Bella is going to be disgusted by you_, I told myself, _and that would be unbearable._

So when, after breakfast, we returned to her room by mutual silent agreement, I firmly told my hands to keep to themselves. No matter much my body screeched at me to take a stand and make her mine _now _this was neither the time nor the place.

Initially I'd come to see her because I wanted to get to know her better. Rolling around on the bed, intertwined in as many ways as possible, might be an extremely pleasant way to pass the time but it wouldn't bring me any real knowledge of what made her tick.

Bella closed the door with a decisive click and her eyes gleamed as they met mine. _Uh oh_.

For all my vaunted preaching, I hadn't taken into account that maybe Bella wanted the exact same thing that I was trying to resist. How on earth was I going to be able to help myself if she threw herself at me?

_I would_, I decided, _just have to cut her off before we ever got going in that direction. _After all, it was truly a desire of mine to get to know her better—that desire just often got overshadowed by my desire for her amazing body.

I hadn't had a chance to look about her bedroom earlier, but I took the time to do it now, my eyes roving over the neat white modern furniture and the funky colorful accessories she'd added to brighten it up. There was a row of pictures on the top of one the bookcases, and I walked over to examine them, feeling her eyes follow me as I moved.

The pictures were almost entirely of Alice, Rosalie and Bella, with the exception of one that featured an older man with a pretty woman who resembled Bella. _Her parents, _I thought.

My gaze fell lower on the shelves, to the books that were carefully arranged. There were a lot of them—clearly Bella was a reader, and from the look of it her taste varied widely from the classics to even romance novels and mysteries. Jane Austen and the Brontës joined Agatha Christie and Elizabeth George and Nora Roberts. Despite the latter, her library impressed me. Even I, upon occasion, needed a break from serious literature and would devour a Stephen King or a James Patterson novel. I could hardly hold the Nora Roberts against her.

"Are you done yet?" she asked, coming up behind me, amusement rife in her voice.

"Done with what?" I responded, as though what I was doing wasn't painfully obvious.

"Examining me."

I turned, and was surprised to find her very close to me, her beautiful brown eyes shining with mirth.

"I'm not examining you, necessarily. . ." I started to say, but my voice died as she ran her fingertips up the bare skin of my arm.

"You're just examining my things," she finished for me, her inquisitive hands feeling the strength of my shoulder now.

"Uh . . ." I could barely spit any words out, I was so distracted by how much I wanted her. The bed, my denied body purred, was only several feet away. It would be so easy.

I wrenched my body away from her, and I saw her face turn confused and almost embarrassed. I had to reassure her that _none _of me pulling away was her fault.

"Bella," I said soothingly, reaching a hand up to stroke her smooth cheek, "don't. It's not that I don't want you, I just want to get to know you_ more_."

She shook her head slightly, her ponytail of thick hair bobbing along with her response. "Sometimes I don't think you're real, Edward," she said, in an almost awestruck voice.

"Oh, I am, believe me. I'd like nothing better than to continue right where we left off, but that doesn't help me get to know the real Bella any better."

She smiled wide. "You want to get to know me?"

"Of course, silly," I teased, tweaking her ear. Bella moved to her bed and sat on it, legs criss-crossed. For half a second, I thought about joining her then decided against it. Me, plus Bella, on a bed, was a bad idea all around if we actually wanted to talk and get to know each other.

"So you know all about me," I said, sitting down on her desk chair and propping my legs up on the bed, "tell me about you."

"Actually," Bella said, "I know barely anything about you. I only found about you four days ago."

"Just me or all of us?" I had to say I wasn't all that surprised. Rosalie wasn't the type to talk about her humiliation, even with someone who was a good friend, and Alice would have respected her wishes.

"All of you. I had no idea you existed at all." Bella sounded a bit perturbed by this and I felt immediately protective. I didn't want her to feel slighted or less important. I wanted her to feel secure and _loved_.

_God, _I thought, _where had that thought come from?_

"Bella, I don't think they didn't tell you because they wanted to exclude you. I can tell just how much you mean to Alice and Rose—they adore you. I think it's hard for Rose to tell anyone about Emmett because she felt so betrayed."

"As she should," Bella retorted.

I sighed. I could hardly argue with that.

"Listen," she said, reaching in the pocket of her sweatpants, "I want you to hear something."

"Okay. . ." I trailed off, not having a clue what it could be.

She pressed several buttons on her phone and handed it to me. "Listen to this."

I looked down on the screen and saw it was a video playing. There was nothing on the screen except some wavy blue lines. In fact, it kind of looked like bedding. Stupefied, I had no idea what to expect. Then a bad, a _very _bad thought hit me. What if Bella had. . .recorded . . .herself performing for me? Sexually?

I nearly dropped the phone. "Bella," I asked, with a voice thick with desire, "please tell me this isn't what I think it is."

She frowned. "What do you think it is?"

Suddenly, I was too embarrassed and too unsure to confide what I thought it was. I shook my head minutely and held the phone back towards her, hoping she'd take my temptation away from me. How was I supposed to possibly keep my hands off her if she kept up this form of persuasion? A monk wouldn't be able to resist.

"Just listen to it!" Bella said, pushing the phone back to me. "I don't have a vocal recording feature, so the video recorder was the best I could do."

Okay, so I wouldn't be able to _see _it but I was still going to hear her amazing little moans and groans. That was going to be the acutest form of torture. Put anything the Chinese could come up with to shame.

But as I tuned the rest of the crackling noise the speakers were making out, I began to hear something completely different than I'd been expecting. These weren't moans of pleasure, they were sobs!

Then I heard a voice and I knew it was Rosalie. Suddenly, everything made sense. Bella's choosing this particular moment to show me this, her insisting on me listening, and even what the blue squiggles meant. They were threads on a bedspread. Rosalie was sitting in bed, sobbing at how much she still hurt over Emmett.

I felt my heart plummet to the ground. If I'd been honest with myself, this was what worried me most of all. The solemn and serious expression in Bella's beautiful eyes lit a spark of worry in my heart.

Maybe I never should have admitted to her that the reason Emmett and Rosalie broke up was me. Maybe this was a tactical error from which I couldn't recover. I knew how loyal Alice and Rosalie were—they would never a pick a friend who wasn't equally loyal.

"I just wanted you to know," she said to me, drawing her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them, "what you _really _did to her. And this is six years later, even."

"It was wrong, I know." What else could I say? _Please don't dump me before I can even make you mine over a mistake I made six years ago?_

"If I didn't really believe that you had their best interests at heart, I'd never let you do this, but I can see how good this is for Rosalie, and even for Alice. I just wanted you to really _understand_."

I nodded. She might be annoyed with something that my younger self had done, but she wasn't going to throw me out for it. _Thank god._

"So tell me about yourself," I asked again, handing back the cell phone and feeling an immense relief that the worst that had happened was that I now felt even guiltier about six years ago.

Bella shrugged. "There's not much to tell. I grew up in Phoenix. You saw the picture of my mom and dad. I'm an only child. I went to University of Portland where I met Alice and then Rosalie. Now I work selling medical equipment."

"Your major was literature?"

A smile broke over her face. "How did you know?"

"All the books."

She giggled, and it turned me on so much I could barely resist jumping on the bed and ravishing her. What _was it_ about this girl that shredded my self control so completely? I was beginning to suspect I wasn't ever going to figure it out.

"Yep," she smirked at me, "Alice and Rose still can't believe all the books I have."

"You do have quite an extensive collection," I said, taking in the several large bookshelves in the room—all packed full.

"Alice keeps saying I should sell them back to Powell's or something, and get the money for clothes."

"Alice would say that," I said, smiling.

"But I couldn't, you know? They're all like. . .friends."

Was there anything not absolutely fucking adorable about this girl? I was rapidly running out of reasons to _not _jump in bed with her.

"Favorite music?"

"Oh, I like a bit of everything. Rock, pop, that sort of thing."

"No, 'that sort of thing,' about it. You're going to have to be more specific than that." I encouraged her with a grin.

"Well, I love John Mayer," she said, and I had to force myself not to make gagging noises. Of course she liked that douchebag.

"I love the Donnas, and Muse. . .the Hives. . ." she rambled on, almost as if she were going through a list in her head.

"If you're trying to discourage me," I laughed at her, "it's not working. Muse is brilliant, and one of my favorites too."

"Really?" she asked, perking up.

"Oh yeah. Absolution is brilliant."

"That's their best album," she agreed and I couldn't help but beam at her.

"What about you?" she asked, turning the tables, "what do you like?"

"Oh, a bit of everything," I imitated her almost perfectly, causing Bella to frown momentarily then burst out laughing.

"You jerk!" she exclaimed, but she was clearly not angry at all. I gave myself a mental pat on the back. I'd made her laugh and I hadn't tried once to seduce her so far.

"Well, really, I do like all kinds of music. Except country. Country makes me want to use someone's intestines for guitar strings."

She guffawed some more at that, and I felt like I was on a roll. I couldn't remember ever having this much fun with a girl or sharing this much chemistry.

"I hate country too," she confided, leaning towards me and tempting me with her lips.

_Maybe,_ I thought, _it would be okay to give her one kiss. Just one. For the road._

"I should probably be getting going," I said reluctantly, getting up from the chair, "I'm sure that Emmett and Jasper are getting antsy."

"Yeah," Bella said, climbing off the bed and joining me by the door. If I wasn't mistaken, she looked just about as disappointed as I felt. _Excellent_.

"Do you want to say goodbye to me here, or in front of everyone?"

That brought a huge smile to her face, and before I could even take it all in, she tackled me, grabbing me and pulling me toward her.

I'd never particularly liked aggressive girls, but there was just something innocent yet _dirty _about Bella that made me like everything about her. Especially the way that she threw her whole soul into kissing me.

My tongue drifted over hers, and I let my hands wander some, probably more than was prudent, but I couldn't seem to help myself. They stopped just under the curve of her breast, and I nearly panted into her mouth with the restraint. Finally, I broke the kiss and moved away a little, before I devoured her all over again.

"Bye," she said breathlessly and I opened the door, extremely reluctantly, not wanting to leave this cocoon that we'd enjoyed so much and re-enter the real world.

"I'll see you soon, hopefully?" I asked, and she nodded, enthusiastically.

"Great. Bye, Bella," I said, giving her one last kiss before I had to drag myself down the hallway to find my brothers.

* * *

**as always, reviews equal MORE WRITING  
**


	17. Chapter 17

**Author Note: thanks for all your support and reviews, as always--on this story AND on Going for the Gold, both Tami and I have been kind of overwhelmed by the amazing response for that story.**

**Also, thanks to my emergency beta CallistoLexx, who got this back to me very fast so I could post before I go to Seattle in a few hours. I really wanted to post it before I left.**

**FYI, Ground Kontrol and Rock Band Tuesdays do really exist, John is my boyfriend John, who helps host it every week with our good friend Anthony, who is the co-owner of Ground Kontrol. I'm in there briefly, referred to by my RB alter-ego, Daphne.** **John, by the way, is really excited that he is now a character (no matter how minor) in the story (though he has never actually read this)--he says "now I'm going to be famous!"**

**One last thank you: to the wonderful twilighted forum ladies, who stroke my ego (and various other body parts) anytime I need it: TZ, moon.witche, pwtf, birdee18, acireamos, devadasi7, mommyofboth, barbarito, angel, jenniesmith, Cristygen, lothlorien, Goo82, Ereeen, ECEyesplease, InsaneGrizzlies and LAST BUT NOT CERTAINLY LEAST, the FABULOUS Twinster (aka Debussythis). I'm sure I missed someone, if I missed you--I'm sorry!!**

* * *

BPOV

It had been two days.

Two infuriatingly long days since I'd seen Edward.

I'd gone to work like I always did on Monday morning, and tried to pretend to myself and to everyone else that this was a Monday like every other Monday, but it wasn't. By Tuesday evening I'd come to grips with the fact that while I might wish differently, the rhythm and composition of my life was undeniably altered now.

Tuesday evening had been, for as long as I'd known Alice and Rosalie, our sacred girls night. Nobody was allowed to go on dates, and there was a firm no boys rule. The male sex was typically talked about ad nauseum but their presence was forbidden. Normally, this was not an issue. Rosalie simply told off the guy of that particular week, and neither Alice nor I dated regularly. Sometimes we went out, and sometimes we stayed in, but I definitely preferred it when we did the latter. Getting all gussied up, drinking too much and staying up late during the week was not my idea of a good time. I much preferred putting on sweats, ordering Chinese, watching cheesy, fluffy movies and gorging on popcorn. I usually had to fight both Alice and Rosalie, though, and I tended to lose more than I won.

I'd come home from work today exhausted, expecting the usual Tuesday argument. Surprisingly, the three of us had been on the same page. Rosalie had come in the door looking even more tired than I felt. I wondered if she was having the same issue with sleeping as I was, but I didn't ask. Out of a mutual unspoken agreement, we hadn't discussed the Cullens since they'd left Sunday afternoon.

Rosalie had been quieter than normal, working longer hours than normal, and spending an inordinate amount of time in her room, by herself.

Even Alice hadn't been her normal spunky, talkative self. We'd all been unusually introspective, but I suppose that was to be expected. Our lives had been shaken to the core by the introduction of the Cullen brothers.

I had a feeling, though, that we'd all had enough of our own thoughts, and that tonight, the truth about what had happened over the last week was bound to come out.

I plopped down on the couch, hearing it squeak, and stretched my long pajama-clad legs out. Almost automatically, I picked my cell phone up from the coffee table and checked it for missed calls or messages, even though I had it turned up to high volume plus vibrate. _You, _I told myself, _are a sentimental fool. Stop obsessing!_

Edward had called once, last night, and we had talked for about ten minutes. It had been a casual conversation but even that was enough to set my heart racing and my insides fluttering. Mostly we'd just talked about work, yet there had been something so private and personal about telling him about my day and he'd been undeniably interested, despite the lack of interesting news I had to impart. In turn, he'd filled me in on more details of their business. It was in this conversation that I found out that Rosalie was location shopping with all three of them on Wednesday.

This would likely explain Rosalie's late nights and also her silence. Not for the first time since I'd met her, I wanted to know what was going on inside her head. I hoped that Sunday hadn't been a fluke and that she was really willing to at least tolerate Emmett's presence in the future. It would great if they could even start as friends.

Alice danced in the room, looking more energetic than I'd seen her since Sunday afternoon when Jasper had left. I wondered if she missed him even half as much as I missed Edward. If she did, that would explain her uncharacteristic behavior.

"I ordered the Chinese!" she sang out, her voice bright and cheerful.

"Did you get the Kung Pao?" Rosalie asked, emerging from the kitchen, holding three cans of Diet Coke. She'd changed into a t-shirt and athletic shorts and twisted her gorgeous hair into a ponytail. It amazed me the kind of transformation that Rose could make from the austere businesswoman that I barely recognized to the college girl I knew so well.

Alice rolled her eyes in response. "Have I _ever _forgotten?"

"Yes," I piped up, earning a glare from Alice, "it was our junior year, and Rose nearly strangled the delivery man before she discovered that it was really _your _fault."

"The key word in that sentence is _almost,_" Rose added. "There was no actual physical harm caused." She plopped down on the couch next to me and it let out another loud squawk. "Hmmmm," she continued, more to herself than to me or Alice, "I think we may need a new couch."

Unfortunately, Alice jumped on it like a fish on fresh bait. "A new couch?" she jumped and down excitedly, "that's a great idea!"

I groaned, loudly. "Great, Rose, now you've done it."

"What? We need a new couch," Rose defended.

Alice was jumping up and down, clapping her hands, and Rose laughed, turning towards her. "Except that you don't get to pick it out yourself—you only get to help choose," she said pointedly to Alice.

"Fine," Alice pouted.

"That means no going out and just buying one without telling us first, like the rest of the furniture," I lectured.

Alice's pout deepened. "But . ..but. . .you liked the furniture!"

Rosalie and I exchanged looks. Under the false impression that the townhouse came fully furnished, we hadn't even discovered that Alice had furnished the townhouse herself until it had slipped out three months after we'd moved in. Understandably, both Rose and I had been extremely disconcerted by the revelation, but we'd eventually agreed, without too much torture from Alice, that she'd done a good job.

"So," I began, thinking it was time to change the subject, "what should we watch?"

Alice started bouncing again. "I know! I know!" I wished I could say that Alice's enthusiasm was atypical, but it wasn't. Even a movie on girl's night turned her into a hyperactive nut.

"Yes, dear?" Rose asked indulgently. If anyone was used to Alice's nearly constant emotional high, it was her.

Alice shoved the movie she'd picked in our faces and I couldn't help but laugh. We were fairly typical girls, but this seemed like a bit much.

"Clueless?" I asked hesitantly, scrunching up my nose, "I don't want my IQ to drop by ten points."

Despite my reaction, the excitement on Alice's face didn't diminish at all—in fact, it only seemed to grow.

"I think it would be good for you. Obviously you've never seen it," Rosalie snarked back.

I was kind of surprised to see her take Alice's side on this. Sure I'd never seen the movie, but did I even need to watch it to comprehend how ridiculous it was?

"Don't you dare roll your eyes _one more time_, Bella" Alice yelled, and I covered my ears automatically, "this is a movie that _every girl _should see. Obviously we have to remedy this travesty."

"It's not a travesty."

To my dismay, both Rosalie and Alice nodded their heads emphatically.

"Really, Bel," Rose added, "she's right, as much as I hate to admit it." Alice emitted a strangled and offended shriek and I couldn't help laughing at that point.

"Fine, fine," I agreed, "it's not like it's life or death or anything. It's only a two hour movie."

Alice wagged her finger at me, "It's really our job to make up for your tomboy past, Bella. You need to let us help you."

"I was perfectly fine as a tomboy," I argued.

"No, you weren't," Alice sang, "and if you were still a tomboy, I bet you that Edward Cullen never would have looked your direction."

Both Rosalie and I swiveled our heads in Alice's direction. _Great, she's done it now_, I thought to myself with resignation.

"Well it's true," Alice defended herself, no longer quite as enthusiastic,

I shrugged my shoulders, "It's hard to say," I answered lamely.

Rosalie turned toward me, those incredible aquamarine eyes boring into mine. "Yes, Bella, why don't you tell us what is _really _going on with Edward Cullen?"

"Uh. . .uh. . .uh. . ." I stammered, my eyes wide with fear.

And then the doorbell rang, essentially saving me from having to answer at that particular second, though I knew that the unspoken gag order was gone and I was going to be pounced on later.

"I'll get it!" I said, scrambling to my feet and heading towards the front door.

When I came back into the room with the bags of takeout, the steam filling my nose with delicious smells, I noticed that the TV had been turned on and the DVD was already set up, ready to go.

Resignedly, I set the bags on the coffee table and Alice reappeared from the kitchen with a stack of plates and silverware.

"This is so exciting!" Alice enthused. I stopped myself from rolling from my eyes just in time and good thing, because the little pixie was looking right at me.

"Sure," I said sarcastically. "I have to admit I'm more excited about the food than the movie."

"That's because, Bel," Rose replied, sneaking a first piece of chicken from the container with her fork, "you haven't yet been exposed to the deliciousness that is Paul Rudd."

"Paul Rudd? The old guy in Knocked Up who, instead of cheating, went to fantasy league baseball?"

"He wasn't that old," Rosalie defended, "he was at least better to look at than that Seth Rogen. He was gross. I couldn't imagine anyone like Katherine Heigl liking him. . ._ever._"

"This coming from our resident Katherine Heigl," I drawled.

"Please, Katherine just _wishes _she looked this good. Anyway, Paul Rudd is _mucho _younger in Clueless, and _mucho _adorable."

"I thought he was pretty cute in Knocked Up," Alice added, and I groaned.

"Enough with the Knocked Up," I yelled, "I only _wish _we were watching something _that _intelligent."

"Clueless is a font of all wisdom for girls, Bella. You should pay good attention. The only thing Knocked Up teaches you to do is wear a condom and not smoke so much weed your brain melts," Alice scoffed, curling up in her favorite pixie-sized chair with a plate heaped with food. How did someone so small eat so much? That was a question I'd never been able to find the answer to. Maybe it had something to do with the amazing amount of energy she needed to get through a day at her frenetic pace.

"Watch and learn," Rosalie taunted in me in a sing-song voice as she hit the play button on the remote.

I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back on the couch. I was here under incredible duress. Nothing _ever _would convince me that a movie about a dumb blond high school girl could be in any way enlightening.

Two hours later, the food devoured and the movie finished, I sat on the couch with a shell-shocked expression on my face.

_How had I missed this important and undeniable rite of passage? _I cursed inwardly at Charlie, who had been a good dad but had lacked some important anatomical features to make him a good conductor on the wild ride of being a young girl.

I sighed in delight, not wanting to move.

It was only then I became aware of Rosalie and Alice, who were wearing the biggest cat-ate-the-cream grins I'd ever seen. Still, I didn't care if they were right, all that mattered was that they had been _right_.

Then they exchanged a not so subtle high five as Alice got up and started to collect the empty dishes and food containers to take to the kitchen.

"Nice, guys," I uttered sarcastically.

"What?" Alice asked, all sweetness and light. "I'm just glad you liked it."

"Of course you are, but you're even happier that you were right."

"Duh," Alice deadpanned as she disappeared down the hall.

"Alice you better get your butt back here soon so we can interrogate Bella about Edward," Rosalie called after Alice's disappearing form.

_Shit. This was no good. _Vividly, I suddenly remembered the part of the plan where Rosalie was not supposed to know about me and Edward. _Was that still in place? Had we moved to a different plan? God damn this plan. I hated it._

I jumped off the couch suddenly, causing Rosalie to look at me strangely, but then that was not exactly an atypical reaction.

"I'm going to go make some popcorn!" I said quickly and was nearly down the hall before Rose could even think about responding. I _needed _a last-minute conference with Alice before I went back out there and Rose dragged something out of me that she wasn't supposed to know and our plan imploded.

Alice was loading the dishwasher, her back to me.

"Alice!" I hissed as quietly as I could, checking behind me every five seconds to make sure that Rosalie hadn't followed me. That would be just my luck.

She whipped around, her face confused. "What the hell are you doing now Bella? First you argue about Clueless, when you should _know _that I would never steer you wrong. Clueless. . ."

I never let her get the second thought about Clueless out. There was no time for a play-by-play recap of the movie right now. I was in a _bad _situation and I didn't know how Alice could be so blithe about it when she'd heard Rose just as well as I had.

"Alice!" I interrupted her. "We _need _to talk!"

A tiny crease formed between her perfect brows on her perfect forehead. "Why are you whispering, Bella?"

"Gah," I exclaimed in whispered frustration, more to the universe at large than at Alice. She could be so _obtuse _sometimes.

"Seriously, I can't believe that . . ."

Before she could even think about getting started again, I slapped a hand over her mouth.

"Shhhhhh! We're whispering because I need your advice on what I should tell Rose."

"About?" she managed, shoving my hand off her face.

"Edward, DUH!" my voice rose, and I frantically looked behind me, hoping that Rose hadn't chosen this minute to appear in the kitchen.

"Oh. That. Well, I think that it wouldn't be a bad thing to tell her, I mean, obviously, it's going to be hard to deny. You two were nearly about to eat each other on Sunday."

_She had no idea. No fucking clue._

"Ahhhh," I stammered, "good point. It's a little late to say nothing's going on."

"You think?" Alice said, a bit tartly.

"Should I just tell her everything?"

"There's something to tell?" Alice's eyes widened. "You work fast, girl. And here I thought you needed the invaluable lessons that only Cher could teach."

"No, no, no. Nothing's _really _going on. Just a few. . .kisses. That's all. And he told me he really liked me."

"That's great, Bels!" Alice said excitedly, clapping her hands.

"Keep it down," I whispered.

"Why? You're just going to tell her anyway."

"Well, maybe not _all _of it. Maybe I want to keep some of it to myself."

"Yeah right," Alice scoffed. "You know you're dying to tell me and Rose everything. Besides, don't underestimate her abilities to tear it out of you."

Alice did have a good point. Rose was unbelievably good at forcing people to tell her things they didn't want to. I might as well go into the living room with the expectation that anything that had happened between Edward and I was about to enter the public domain.

"In any case," Alice added, "I think that with me and Jasper together, so to speak, and you and Edward growing closer, that will only push Rosalie and Emmett together even more."

"Or it will it scare them away from each other," I added doubtfully.

"Nope," Alice proclaimed with a huge sunny smile. "It'll work, just you watch."

_Great. Another one of Alice's feelings. . .I swear she only uses those to get her own way about everything._

"Fine," I grumbled, "we'll do it your way. Now let's go get this over with."

Rosalie was smiling slyly when we walked back into the living room together.

Her smile reminded me that I had said something as I exited the living room earlier. . .

_Damn. Shit. Fuck. The popcorn._

"Forget something, Bels?" she asked me sweetly, the undertone of her voice laced with poison.

"Uh. . .that's right. . .the popcorn." I turned to retreat back to the kitchen and to whatever sanity I had left.

"Just leave it," Rosalie ordered, "and come here and tell me _right now_ what is going on between you and Cullen?" She patted the empty spot on the couch next to her.

"Cullen?" I squeaked.

"As if you were interested in anyone but Edward," Alice rolled her eyes.

I gingerly sat next to Rosalie and turned to her with what I thought might be a hopeful smile, but probably looked more like I was being led to the guillotine.

"Tell me _everything_," Rose insisted and I nearly trembled. I started praying that Alice was right here. Not that she was ever wrong.

"Well. . .I like him of course."

Alice groaned. "Nothing mushy, please! Just the hot, smoking details."

Rosalie nodded, clearly agreeing with her sister.

"Like what?" Not having much of a physical relationship with anyone in college, I'd been spared the interrogation before. I never liked being the center of attention and even though this was just my two best friends, I felt myself breaking out in a cold sweat.

"Let's start with the basics," Alice said in a only mildly patronizing voice. "How does he kiss?'

My eyebrows shot to the ceiling. This was the _basics_? I didn't even want to know what anything more advanced was.

Of course I'd heard details of their experiences for years—okay, mainly Rosalie's experiences—but never in a million years did I ever think I would be sitting here, telling them what had happened between me and someone like Edward.

"He kisses. . .good," I said proudly, glad I got out the sentence without blushing like a prudish maniac.

"Good?" Alice sounded disappointed and I didn't understand.

"Isn't that a good thing?" I challenged.

"No," Rosalie added. "Guy looks like that—you want him to be able to curl your toes with a kiss."

_And he definitely did._

"Um. He certainly does," I mumbled.

"But you said he was just a good kisser."

"Isn't good the same as toe-curling?" I know I sounded lamely confused, but I couldn't help myself. Even through six years of friendship and four years of college with Rosalie and Alice, I still didn't get a lot of normal girl stuff. Damn Charlie for not having boobs and a doo-dah.

"Of course not," Rosalie scoffed, apparently shocked at my naivety.

"Okay, well, then he is an _amazing, mind-blowing, hot as hell _kisser. Is that better?" I asked innocently, enjoying the way that Alice's jaw had dropped.

"Yep," Rosalie said satisfactorily. "Now what else have you guys done?"

I almost added that he'd said he was barely able to resist me after feeling my birth control patch, but I didn't think I could actually force that sentence past my awkward lips.

"That's it," I lied. I didn't mention that he'd held me against my bedroom door devouring me like he could never get enough and then not even two hours later I'd done exactly the same to him without a second's thought. Or that we'd already talked about having sex eventually. I wanted to keep those memories and savor over them myself.

Alice shot me a glare like she knew I was lying, but I was Fort Knox, locked down tight.

"Fine," she grumbled, obviously far from pleased at my discretion.

Rosalie jumped off the couch. "I have an early morning so I've got to get to bed."

"Don't you have the boys tomorrow?" Alice asked, clearly trying not to sound too eager. Anyone could see she was dying to ask about Jasper. When it came to him, Alice was just about as transparent as a mirror.

"Yep," Rose offered noncommittally. "We're meeting at the office early."

"Great," I enthused, so jealous that she was going to see Edward I could barely keep the venom from leaking into my voice.

"Wonderful," Alice echoed. "Good luck."

"Thanks for the great night, bitches," Rose tossed over her shoulder, as she headed down the hallway.

I relaxed back into the couch and for the millionth time that night checked my cell phone to see if maybe he'd texted or called me. _Damn it. Still nothing. What if he'd forgotten all about me?_

* * *

EPOV

I palmed my phone surreptitiously so that Jasper or Emmett wouldn't see and wondered if she'd called yet. _Nope, _I thought as I glanced at the screen for probably the thousandth time in the last twenty minutes. I ran a hand through my hair, probably making it stand straight on end, and thought about banging the phone on the wall in frustration.

I'd loved talking to her the night before, even if our conversation had been of the most mundane variety. Knowing what she'd done all day made me feel almost as if I'd been there beside her, watching her make phone calls and type emails, her delicate yet capable fingers tapping lightly on the keyboard.

"Yo Edward!" Emmett called out, jerking my attention away from yet another sexual fantasy of Bella—this time I was the phone she cradled to her ear, and the keyboard she plied on.

One of these days I was going to kill my brother.

"What?" I asked in a bored, annoyed voice.

"Did I see you looking at your phone again?" he asked, the goofy grin he typically sported entrenched on his face.

"No," I lied, "what's up?"

"Dude, I swear I saw you holding it."

"Emmett," I said patiently, since sometimes you needed the patience of a saint to deal with Emmett, "it's dark in here, there's lights flashing, I don't think you saw what you think you did." I felt a slight twinge of guilt at lying to him, but I pushed it away and reminded myself what kind of shit I would be subjected to if my brothers found out exactly how much I was mooning over Bella.

After all, it was guys night out, and we were supposed to be having a good time.

"Okay," Emmett agreed reluctantly, obviously having some kind of inkling that he was getting lied to, but not really interested in pursuing it any further.

"So what's up?" I asked again, changing the subject.

Emmett's face lighted up like a tree on Christmas. "John just told me they have the new Muse downloadable content."

"Muse?" my ears perked up and I felt slightly justified in coming out tonight, after all. Muse was one of my favorite bands.

Typically, I didn't exactly enjoy Rock Band night, hosted by Ground Kontrol, a retro gaming arcade and bar, in the Pearl District, but it was Emmett's passion and he browbeat us into coming every Tuesday night. I liked to escape as much as I could to the upstairs pinball gallery in an attempt to block out the bad singing we were subjected to.

"Hell yes. I signed us up to play 'Hysteria.'"

I was even more gratified to know that for once, we'd be playing something I had an interest in. Usually Emmett and Jasper conspired to pick the worst possible songs, and I was forced to sing them. Finally, they had picked something good.

"Good," I said casually, not wanting Emmett to sense my gratification. If they knew, I'd never be able to feign total disinterest again.

"I just wish we could go somewhere we could play _real _instruments," I whined, before I could help myself.

"Yeah, except that we don't _play _real instruments," Emmett grumbled back.

"I do," I said, not even bothering to tone down the self-satisfied smirk on my face.

"Bastard," Emmett boomed, not upset in the least.

"Hey guys!" I turned to see John, the guy who helped the co-owner of Ground Kontrol, Anthony, put Rock Band night on every Tuesday. John was a super cool guy—he'd played in a punk band in high school and college and knew something about _real _music. Unfortunately he was also a serious video game addict and even more enthusiastic about Rock Band than Emmett.

"John," I replied, taking and shaking his hand firmly. "Great to see you."

"You, too. I saw that Emmett signed you guys up for 'Hysteria.' I'd be careful if I was you—the bass line in the song is wicked fast and intense."

I nodded. "And the guitar?" I tended to sing, since I was the only one out of the three of us who could even dream about carrying a tune and since we needed four players, I also played the guitar, which was a feat that not many other players could manage. Unfortunately, the first time I'd done this I realized what a mistake it was. I was now one of the more popular and successful players who came to the event and it made my studied disinterest much harder to maintain.

"Still pretty rough," he admitted. "If I were you, I'd have Emmett take the bass, and you should stick to guitar because you're going to fail out otherwise."

"I could sing 'Hysteria' in my sleep," I boasted.

He looked a little incredulous, but before he could say anything else, Jasper walked over and handed me the beer he'd left to get. Lifting his own to his lips, he asked, "Did Emmett tell you about Muse?"

I nodded. "John here is saying that it's a rough track."

"Man, it's great to see you," Jasper said, and John agreed. Of all of us, he'd hit it off with John the best, and they were friends outside of Rock Band night.

"Is Daphne here?" Jasper asked, referring to John's girlfriend.

"Nah," he said and if I wasn't mistaken I detected a slight note of regret in his voice, which didn't surprise me in the least—Daphne kicked ass and John would be insane not to be crazy about her. "She said she needed to write tonight, so I let her off the hook."

"The fact that you can get her to come at all, I give you total props, man," Emmett said, giving him a hard high five.

John smiled, and there was just enough feeling behind it that I felt suddenly overcome with jealousy. I wanted to be able to smile about _Bella _like that. I wanted her to be supportive; I wanted to share my life with her.

I was momentarily floored by the strength of the feelings coursing through me.

_Feelings? God, I am now certifiably lame. I just used the F word._

But could I really deny that I did have feelings for Bella? It wasn't as if I hadn't already dipped into the lameness category more than once tonight. In fact, I was nearly pouting because she hadn't called—not because I felt like I'd lost any kind of stupid game we had between us but because I just wanted to hear her god damned voice.

_Yep, I'm now officially a total fucktard._

Before I could delve any further into my fucktardedness, I heard Anthony, the host of Rock Band night, call our band to the stage.

"And now, playing 'Hysteria' by Muse, we have the incomparable Cullen brothers!" he yelled into the microphone, and there was an ungodly amount of cheering as we made our way to the stage, sprinkled in with some loud catcalls by the few girls in the audience.

A small rush of adrenaline moved through me, but it was only a fraction of what I would have felt if we'd actually been playing in a band, on a real stage, with real instruments. Still, I had to admit it was better than nothing, and probably one of the main reasons I kept coming back to this godforsaken event.

I grabbed the plastic guitar, inwardly grimacing like I did every time at how cheap and fake it felt in my hands, and stepped up to the microphone.

Emmett situated himself on the other side with an identical guitar, ready to play the "insane" bass line. Jasper was in the middle, looking as relaxed as he always did on the drumkit.

"You guys ready for this," I yelled into the microphone, feeling the adrenaline surge even a little harder than normal. Maybe because I had suddenly, insanely, wished that Bella could see me now, singing some of her favorite bands' music and even playing this ridiculous plastic guitar.

I glanced down at the TV monitor, ready to get started. The song finally finished loading and the ripping bass chords started almost immediately.

"SHIT. FUCK," Emmett yelled, frantically trying to keep up with the sixteenth notes. I thought I heard John laughing on the side of the stage, but I was too busy with the opening lyrics, crooning them into the microphone, and running my hands over the buttons of the guitar.

_John hadn't been kidding,_ I thought as I started feeling myself begin to sweat, _this was a hard song_. I almost felt sorry for Emmett, who hadn't let up on the string of continued profanity since the song had started.

Luckily, I could sing the words to the song without having to look at the lyrics. If I'd had to, I would have been totally screwed and doubly grateful that Bella wasn't here to see me fuck up.

I loved the song, but I couldn't deny I was glad to see it end. Still, the applause at the end was sweet, though not as sweet as it would have been if Bella had been standing on the side of the stage, ready to give me a big kiss as a reward for kicking ass.

As it was, there was definitely no lack of females to greet us as we tromped off the stage. None of them were even remotely palatable, though, and I inwardly shuddered at even beginning to compare them to my sweet Bella. Still, I was as nice as I could be while brushing them off as quickly as possible.

As soon as we'd managed to do that, Emmett sank against the back of one of the arcade games and let out a huge sigh. "That was _rough_ man," exclaimed, kneading his hands, "I can't even feel my fingers. That was sixteenths through the whole _damn _song."

"If you'd heard it before," I sighed, "you would have known that they were coming."

"Muse is weird," was his only response. I rolled my eyes.

I walked off to the bar, chugging the rest of my beer as I went. I needed another if I was even going to dream about sleeping tonight. I hadn't had a case of blue balls since I was in high school but I was definitely balanced on that thin line now. I could no longer deny that she'd completely unraveled me. It was embarrassing and almost a little humiliating and I dreaded her finding out.

Signaling the bartender for another beer, I leaned against the hardwood bar and closed my eyes. I had to get control of myself _now._

I was so tempted to call her I nearly forgot all about the beer and went right out the door and dialed the number. Except I forced myself to stay rooted to the spot. _Mustn't sound too eager, _I lectured myself.

Finally I decided a compromise was in order. We'd all be downtown tomorrow to meet with Rosalie. First thing in the morning I'd call her office and say I was coming to see her. Then I could drop by and make it seem casual, like I was already downtown, and I could even make the appointment around noon so I could ever so charmingly take her to lunch. _Brilliant, _I reassured myself, _you've got it all under control._


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: This chapter is dedicated to devadasi7 -- HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE!!**

**Also, check out the "Tieward" pic on my profile--that was much of the inspiration for this chapter.**

**And once again a reminder that this IS a NC-17/M rated story. . .thanks also to my betas: tamelaine & CallistoLexx**

* * *

RPOV

I stepped out of the elevator, saw Emmett leaning against my office door and felt my heart drop into my stomach. I didn't think I would ever get used to seeing Emmett again. For six years I'd seen him in my dreams and in my thoughts, a lot more than I liked to admit, and now, suddenly, he was back in my life.

Sunday afternoon had been, I had to admit, a turning point for me. I hadn't forgiven him—I didn't think that was even possible at this point—but at least we could maybe be civil acquaintances, maybe even friends again someday, and with the relationships between Bella and Edward, and I suspected soon, Alice and Jasper, Emmett and I would be spending a lot of time around each other. Amazingly, that thought filled me with a buoyant happiness, not the bitter hate I was used to.

We'd agreed to meet early, except I'd expected to see him along with his two brothers. I had never thought we would be alone together, and I hadn't prepared myself for that eventuality. Being alone with him was the one situation that scared me, and not because I was afraid I'd kill him in a horrible, rankling anger leftover from six years ago. No, I was afraid that I'd lose myself in him all over again.

And he was in definite danger of making me do that right now. His leaning position definitely enhanced his muscular physique and I remembered, in the split second I could look at him before he realized I'd arrived, how beautiful he had been, even in high school. Of course, he looked fifty times better now, and I tried to tell myself that admiring him was understandable. Probably every woman who passed him on the street checked him out. I was simply one of the many, despite that I'd been lucky enough to see what the other women had only dreamed of.

_Not the best time to start picturing Emmett naked_ _because thinking about him naked is only going to lead to thinking about you naked with him._

Thankfully, before my thoughts become too X-rated, Emmett turned around and saw me standing there, staring at him.

"Rosalie," he said quietly, and I knew deep down in my heart that he'd been thinking about me. The tone of his voice was unmistakable.

I was dressed in my typical austere business black, hair up, minimal makeup. Yet he still took his time eyeing me up and down. I supposed that was only fair. I'd been doing it to him only thirty seconds earlier.

I wondered briefly if he liked what he saw, but I very firmly told myself that it didn't matter if he did or not—he was never going to be allowed to touch it again.

"Why do you wear your hair up?"

"It's work," I answered succinctly, unlocking the door to the main office. "Where are Edward and Jasper?" I was so determined to stay professional and on-topic; I had even rehearsed mentally how the morning would go. So far, I was improvising and not doing that good of a job. The plan definitely had not included ogling Emmett's muscles.

"They're getting coffee," Emmett replied, and I breathed a sigh of relief that my answer had laid the uncomfortable personal topic to rest.

But Emmett was unfailingly diligent and stubborn, and as he prowled around the office, examining the generic artwork on the walls, he asked mildly, "What does work have to do with your hair?"

"A lot of things," I snapped, losing patience with how off-track the morning was so far. "Why are Jasper and Edward not here?" I glared at Emmett's back, wishing suddenly that I had laser vision so I could burn a hole into him.

He, however, refused to get riled. "I told you," he said smoothly and way too calmly, "they're getting coffee. We're in no rush." Sorting impatiently through papers on my desk I didn't realize he walked right up behind me until he was nearly on top of me. Alarm bells went off in my head. _What was he doing and why did I like it so much?_

"Rosie," he said with ingratiating calm, "you really need to calm down before you get a hernia or an ulcer or something." Like it was the most natural thing in the world, he placed his hands on my shoulders and began to knead the tense muscles there.

His touch sent a wave of electric shock through me, even through several layers of clothing. _Not good._

Emmett was being way too nice and well, way too damn sexy for my comfort level, but I didn't want him to know how strongly he affected me, so I didn't move. Of course, I wasn't sure if I really could. Like I remembered all too well, he had magic hands, and they seemed to know exactly where my trouble spots were. I started to relax in slow increments, though I was furiously telling myself the whole time that this was a terrible idea and that I should be more upset instead of less. Of course, as usual, my traitorous body won out over my mind.

"I'm calm," I half-moaned, before I could even stop myself. He chuckled, the vibrations rumbling through his chest and seeping into my back.

"So now are you going to tell me the many reasons you wear your hair up at work?"

He was like a dog with a bone and his curiosity was making me nervous. Not to mention that I could feel his body flush against mine and his hands were burning holes into my skin.

"Um. . .no?" I ventured hesitantly, and in response felt his fingertips dig a little harder into a particularly tight muscle. "Ow!" I shrieked. "That hurt."

Laughing, Emmett stopped his ministrations for a second, and just rested his hands on my shoulders. "Shoulda told me," he teased.

"I shouldn't have to," I replied stubbornly, "it's pretty self-explanatory."

"You mean you wear it up for me?"

I snorted. "Hardly. Egotistical, are we?"

"You know it," he boasted cockily and my heart started hammering. Despite that I knew I shouldn't, I couldn't help but be invariably attracted to the super confident, full-of-himself Emmett.

"Fine," I nearly growled, as his hands started moving again but his motions were a lot nearer a caress than a massage. Was the man _trying _to seduce me?

I paused for a second, reveling in how good his hands felt on me and knowing that I'd have to enjoy this while it lasted because I was _never _going to allow it to happen again. It was far, fartoo dangerous.

"I'm waiting." Emmett's voice was playful and never had I ever wanted to forgive him more. But the resentment was nearly hard-wired into my brain and I didn't know how to change it. Closing my eyes at the strength of will it took to pull myself away from him, I took an unsteady step forward and turned to face him. His eyes were so dark I could barely see the rim of sapphire around his pupils.

I looked up at him and felt something strong and warm coalesce under my breastbone. I could feel the tears begin to form inside my throat but I forced them down with a hard swallow. I was _not _going to cry in front of Emmett Cullen, no matter how much he'd hurt me or how much I'd missed him.

"I dress like this, wear my hair up because I want to be taken seriously. I want to be seen as more than just a blond bimbo, more than just a model masquerading as a businesswoman. And it makes men _and _women feel more comfortable if I can downplay how I look. Thus the all black and the hair in a bun." I swallowed hard again, desperately trying to keep the wall up, to prevent him from seeing too deep into my soul.

But it was too late; he'd already seen it all. He knew me better than I knew myself.

"Rosalie," he murmured, and took a step closer to me, our faces nearly brushing, "you couldn't hide your beauty, even if you wore a garbage bag. It pisses me off that you have to do anything to prove how smart and capable you are. It only took me a minute after I first met you for me to realize that you were probably the most intelligent woman I'd ever met."

The hands that hung loosely at my sides clenched together at his words. I knew I was going to cry. There was no way out of it, no point in even a last ditch effort to prevent it. I could sense the tears forming in the corners of my eyes, and finally, at last, I felt one single tear drift down my cheek.

"Oh, Rosie," Emmett sighed, raising one hand and gently brushing away the tear, "don't cry. I know I'm no good, I know I'm a jerk. You have no idea how sorry I am. . ."

There was stark honesty in his eyes and pain etched on his face. I believed then, for the first time, that his regret over our failed relationship maybe equaled my own.

Before I could try to answer through the tears that were filling my throat, I heard the faint echo of footsteps down the hall. Emmett's brothers.

I sprang back from him and frantically wiped my eyes, hoping that they weren't red or too watery.

His eyes followed me, still solemn, but a little amusement had crept in at my reaction.

Edward and Jasper entered the office, and I breathed out an unsteady sigh of relief. The moment was over and I'd gotten through it without falling to pieces completely. Mostly, yes, but I could still salvage this. Somehow I had to get things back on track, back to the way I'd planned for this meeting to go.

"Edward, Jasper," I said, coming forward to greet both of them, and hoping that neither of them caught the remnants of sadness in my voice.

Jasper looked both tired and already bored, which was to be expected. He could do his job anywhere, as could Edward. Emmett was the one who needed the perfect space. Probably I shouldn't have insisted that all three of them accompany me on this search, but I'd wanted the protection of Edward and Jasper. Unfortunately, the last five minutes had made that even more necessary.

I couldn't let Emmett get that close again. I'd been five seconds away from pressing my lips to his, regardless of any bitter resentment I still held inside or how much I still tried to tell myself that I hated him.

Edward, however, looked interestedly from Emmett to myself, and smirked a little. Damn him for being so observant. He knew something had just happened between Emmett and I, and I was sure he had a good idea of exactly what it was.

"Rosalie," he drawled, "it's great to see you again." I wanted to smack him. I could swear he was laughing at me behind that casual exterior and I wanted to take a folding chair to him for it, but I firmly held myself in and smiled back.

"You, too. Shall we go? I have several excellent locations for us to look at this morning," I replied, using exactly the phrase I'd practiced in front of the mirror this morning. Finally, we were back on track.

* * *

EPOV

I'd called Bella's office while Jasper was inside the Starbucks getting coffee, and let the receptionist know I'd be dropping by at lunchtime to see Bella. She'd been extremely cooperative, more than I'd expected, and had informed me that I was now blocked off as her lunch date. Just the word 'date' thrilled me and I couldn't help but think of how lame I'd become since meeting Bella. I just hoped she never figured it out.

The three hours I spent with Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper looking at locations was both exciting, because I was dying to finally get the business off the ground in a way we'd always dreamed, and also excruciating because I honestly didn't care where we settled. I just wanted to see Bella. The last two days had been the longest I cared to remember and I was done fighting the inevitable. I couldn't push her away again. If she threw herself at me the same way she'd done on Sunday afternoon, there was no way we were keeping our clothes on. At the very least hers were coming off because at the very thought of her undressed, a different, far more rabid, Edward emerged and I was ready to wave the white flag. I wanted her, and she wanted me.

Finally, I managed to escape before the last location by begging a lunch meeting, which in all fairness, was technically true. I did have a lunch meeting. I just wanted to stop by the little flower booth at the corner of Pioneer Courthouse Square before it and get Bella a nice bouquet so it didn't look like I was just dying to get into her pants—which I was.

I'd even made reservations at Bluehour, one of the nicer lunch spots downtown, in hopes that I could impress her enough to let me come back to her apartment for a little afternoon delight.

Naturally, I didn't expect the "main event" right away—this was Bella we were talking about and she was a beautiful, classy woman. I couldn't expect anything, but my hopes were definitely up for some more kissing and touching and. . .

Gah. I was getting hard again, and since I was wearing my lightweight summer suit in deference to the heat of the June day, it noticeably tented the material. Obviously I couldn't even _think _about what could possibly happen this afternoon after lunch. I knew Bella's schedule was free, since I'd charmingly told the receptionist that I didn't know how long our business lunch would last and she'd helpfully informed me that her whole afternoon was free. The sex-obsessed Edward inside of me had gleefully rubbed his hands together at the possibilities of a whole afternoon in bed with Bella, but I had tried to put a stop to that. There would be no thinking of her like a piece of meat I was dying to sample.

The cab stopped at the corner of Pioneer Courthouse Square, and I got out, paid the driver, and made my way to the flower stand that sat on one corner.

Examining the choices I wondered which would be the best possible selection considering the possible afternoon's agenda. Something sweet? Something straight-out romantic? Roses? Daisies? Tulips?

I'd picked out dozens of bouquets for my mother, Esme, but none for a girlfriend. My hand stalled on a grouping of chrysanthemums and I suddenly felt myself gasping for air.

_A girlfriend_.

The thought made my knees weak and my lungs spasm, but could I really deny that ultimately, that was what I wanted from her? Last night I had come to the conclusion that I wanted to share my life with Bella, yet I had purposefully refrained from putting any kind of label on that realization. Today, in the warm June sunshine, it seemed impossible to call it anything else.

_Great, yet another thing not to tell Bella._

Of course, girls tended to react more favorably to those kinds of intentions than just, _I want to screw your brains out_. Bella was a reasonable woman. Theoretically she might be okay with a combination of the two, if I let her in to what I wanted from her slowly and carefully. Deliberately.

With that in mind, I selected a beautiful combination of lilies, daisies, and chrysanthemums. Really, it represented all the different ways I wanted to enjoy Bella in the future. Not that she would be informed of this fact when I presented the flowers, but, I told myself, it was the thought that counted.

Walking to her office building, I whistled lazily to myself, completely unable to contain my joy at nearly being able to see her after this insufferable nearly three day break. For sure, that was not going to happen again for a long damn time.

* * *

BPOV

I'd walked into work this morning nearly bereft and totally sleep-deprived.

He hadn't called last night or even texted me. I couldn't count how many times I'd nearly done it myself, but that pesky bit of self-doubt had stopped me every time I'd clicked on his phone number in my cell.

Today I was determined to at least text him once. I would be brave and strong, and not timid and scared of his rejection. Why would he reject me anyway? He was clearly interested—I just needed to get over this stupid self-consciousness around him.

The elevator door opened and I tried to walk confidently into the office, hoping that an all-over confident outlook on life would help me gather together enough guts to send the text to Edward.

I headed down the hall to my office, but right before I reached the door I heard Lucy call out my name from behind me.

I turned and saw she was breathless, either from running or excitement I couldn't tell because her eyes sparkled.

"I have some _great _news for you!" she exclaimed, barely managing to keep herself grounded on the floor. Sometimes Lucy reminded me so much of Alice it seemed impossible that they weren't related.

"Hmmmm?" I asked, barely able to pay attention to her, since I was so busy composing the all-important text message in my head. It needed to be casual _yet _personal. . .a very important combination that communicated how I felt while at the same time not communicating too much.

"Earth to Bella!" she responded with irritation. "You're going to want to pay attention to this."

"I am? What is it?"

"Edward Cullen called this morning."

At her first word she had my immediate attention.

"He did WHAT?" I nearly lost my balance on my heels I was so shocked at Lucy's revelation.

"He called," she replied, with a bit of a self-satisfied smirk.

"And?" I replied, so eager that I almost couldn't wait to see what she would say.

"He made sure you didn't already have a lunch meeting, and then said he'd be by for you around noon."

"He's coming _here_?" I squealed.

"Here. At noon. To take you to lunch, presumably." This time the self-satisfaction was impossible to miss.

If I hadn't been at work I would have broken out into a white girl on heels dance. But I didn't. So I merely beamed at Lucy and hugged her quickly.

"Thank you," I raved, "this has just made everything better. No text message is necessary!"

"You were going to text message him? Girl, you two are obviously way beyond that."

I couldn't help but smile giddily at her pronouncement. "You are _so _right."

"And lucky you, you look _amazing _today, if I may say so, perfect for a lunch date."

"Thank goodness. I'd have had to go buy something else if I hadn't dressed up today." I smoothed down my black pencil skirt and knew I'd have to thank Alice when I got home for doing an amazing job through the years from converting this tomboy into someone who at least knew how to dress. Seven years ago I would have thought that jeans and a sweatshirt were appropriate for a date.

Now, I was thankful that I'd dressed a little sexy today, even though I hadn't thought I'd see Edward. The black pencil skirt made the most of my curves, and was topped off with a clingy, silky midnight blue blouse that undeniably did great things for my skin.

"Well, good luck, and I'll make sure to get a peek at him when he comes around. He sounds positively yummy on the phone."

"Oh he is," I reassured Lucy, as I opened the door to my office. "Beyond yummy."

"Fantastic," she said, "well, I'll let you get to work."

"Great, thanks," I said, walking into my office as Lucy disappeared back down the hallway.

Work. How was I ever supposed to concentrate on my job when I knew that he was going to be here in three hours? My stomach fluttered nervously in response.

I sat down at my desk chair, crossed my legs, and tried to force myself to go through the motions that I typically did first thing in the morning, but I had to admit that my heart definitely wasn't in them this morning. I definitely didn't feel like checking my voicemail or my email or making any calls. All I wanted was for it to be noon already for Edward to be here, smile on that incredible chiseled face, laughter in his green eyes.

_Who was I fooling? I was so far gone._

What I really wanted, I finally let myself admit, was for us to continue where we'd left off on Sunday afternoon. During the last three mostly sleepless nights, I'd had plenty of time to imagine just what I wished had happened between us.

I wished that he'd stopped being a gentleman and responsible altogether and had pushed me back towards the bed during our "goodbye" kiss. I wished that he'd let his hands drift over my abdomen and up towards my breasts, barely brushing them as his tongue explored my mouth. I wished I'd had more time to let my hands play in his incredible hair and more time to explore his undeniably hot body.

_Time, Bella_, I ordered myself, _you just need time to get to know each other better._

_Oh, I want to get to know him better, _Naughty Bella cooed, _a looooot better. Preferably naked better._

Whoops. I was in a bad way when Naughty Bella started taking over. As long as it was just in my thoughts, everything should be fine. The moment she started taking over _me, _there would be real trouble.

The next three hours were possibly the slowest three hours I've ever spent.

I spent most of it dreaming up scenarios for Edward and I, and most of them were heavily promoted by Naughty Bella, who was a lot closer to taking over than I wanted to think.

I squirmed in my desk chair, trying not to think that my panties were definitely wet and I was definitely horny.

Edward was going to be dismayed at how forward I was likely to be when he showed up. I told Naughty Bella to stuff it one last time, and took a quick trip to the bathroom to check my appearance ten minutes before he was due to arrive, then I settled down at my desk to wait out the last few minutes of my torture sentence.

My heart was thrumming madly, and a whole cloud of butterflies had taken up residence in my tummy. Not to mention how my lower regions felt. . ._Jesus Christ. Naughty Bella was at it again._

But before I could issue another warning to Naughty Bella, there was a knock on the door.

Shooting to my feet, I smoothed out my skirt one last time, said a prayer that he wouldn't suddenly hate me or have sudden feeling of disgust. Sexual disgust, that is.

_God I wished there was more time to put Naughty Bella back in the hole she popped out of but this was it._

I walked to the door, took one last deep breath, having a good idea it was the last one I was going to be able to take in awhile, and turned the handle.

Edward was standing on the other side of the door, just as I'd expected, but the way he looked was so completely unexpected, I felt Naughty Bella immediately start to croon in victory.

His suit was a lightweight and beautiful tan fabric that looked expensive and just plain indulgent. Even better, he'd removed his jacket, probably in deference to the heat, and it was slung casually over his shoulder. The white button-down shirt was a bit wrinkled and mussy, like he'd been doing a bit of sitting and standing already today, and the tie was loosened, as if he couldn't take its constriction a moment longer. The tie itself was like a piece of art, all jewel green tones that nearly matched his eyes. I wanted to grab it and haul him towards me, office rules be damned.

Naughty Bella did a self-indulgent victory lap, and before I even knew what was happening, the silk of Edward's tie was curling around my fist and I was dragging him, nearly by the tie around his neck, into the office with me. I threw myself into him, and he staggered back briefly, throwing something down on the floor in the process before our mouths fused together.

Clearly, Naughty Bella had taken matters into her own hands.

I couldn't even think as his hands traced the lines of my hips, made surprisingly curvaceous by the fit of the skirt, and I heard him hiss in delight as he made contact with the bare skin of my leg. I angled my head, trying to get deeper into his mouth, one hand lost in the glory of hair, the other, fingertips extended, biting into the muscles of his back.

"Bella," Edward panted, briefly pulling his lips from mine, "I. . ."

But Naughty Bella allowed no distractions when she was in pursuit of pleasure, so she tugged his head closer to mine. Clearly, he didn't mind so much either, as his level of eagerness seemed to only increase, and I could plainly feel his erection against my leg.

We stumbled back towards my desk, and with one sweep of his arm, he brutally cleared it off all the papers and pens that were on it. Like I was weightless, he lifted me up, his lips never once leaving mine, and set me down on the desk. I groaned my approval into his mouth.

His hands coasted up my legs, his long fingers setting off the most delicious electrical pulses against my bare skin. I didn't think about his destination until I felt my skirt slowly being peeled upwards. Normal Bella would have shrieked and fallen over in surprise. Naughty Bella, however, took it all in stride, and even rejoiced at the thought of what such actions might mean.

Having deemed the skirt high enough for the time being, his fingers traveled up my torso and closed over my breasts. I moaned into his mouth, happy that at least a _little _progress had been made. However, Naughty Bella didn't think was nearly sufficient, and I wound my legs around his waist, pulling him in closer, until his wonderfully prominent erection was right in line with my panty-covered core.

"God, Bella," he hissed, lips barely leaving mine before he ran a trail of kisses down the side of my neck to my ear, "you're going to kill me, I don't have that much self-control left."

Normal Bella would have been afraid of him losing the last of his self-control, but Naughty Bella welcomed it and _even _encouraged it.

I pulled him even closer and my head fell back at the wave of pleasure that rolled through me at the feel of his hard cock grinding against me.

"Please," Naughty Bella moaned, and apparently Edward was just as bad as her, because he didn't even blink. He simply lifted his hands from my breasts, and his mouth from my neck. I opened my dazed eyes and couldn't believe what I saw and then, what I felt.

He'd dropped to his knees and was now kneeling in front of me, eyeing my lace panties like he'd just found the Holy Grail.

Normal Bella would have died in shame and embarrassment to see Edward so lustfully staring at her crotch. Luckily for everyone involved, Naughty Bella had no such qualms. She knew what she wanted, and she demanded it.

Leaning forward slightly, I grabbed his tie and pulled his head up a little so I look straight in his gorgeous eyes that were glazed over with such lust that I felt the world tilt a little beneath me.

"It's lunchtime, don't you think you need something to eat?" I couldn't believe that was my voice, saying those dirty, incredibly outrageous things, but I couldn't seem to stop myself.

Apparently, though, Edward must have liked it because, though I didn't think it was even possible, his eyes morphed into an even darker, smokier green, and he murmured, "I really think I'm hungry, now that you mention it. . ."

I dropped the tie in shock and my head fell back as he ran his tongue on the lace of my panties, making me sob a little. "God, Edward, don't tease me now," I mumbled, hardly even hearing my own voice through the roar of pleasure.

"Don't worry," he said with relish, as his fingers reached up to pull my underwear off, "I don't intend to."

His mouth immediately descended into my wetness, licking upwards as if he was drowning and I was the rope saving him. His tongue flicked my clit and I moaned involuntarily.

"You like this, Bella?" he murmured wickedly, sending the vibrations through me, intensifying the pleasure even more.

"God," I could only whimper in response, "God, Edward."

"You've been such a bad girl; I want you to come for me." His hands snaked up my leg again, the teasing patterns sending me into sensory overload and I felt one finger begin to trace outside of my entrance before slowly circling its way inside.

"I want you to come for me _now_," he growled, doubling his licking efforts on my clit and I nearly screamed when he added a second finger to the first.

"Edward," I panted, unable to even take more than the shallowest of breaths, "YES."

"Good, Bella, come for me now," he demanded, wringing yet another level of incredible pleasure from me.

I did exactly as he said, and the room went black then neon as I climaxed.

I came to gradually, only half-realizing at first that he'd just eaten me on my desk at work.

_At my desk at work._

Holy fucking shit.

"Edward," I exhaled, barely able to open my eyes. When I finally lifted my lids, he was smiling like he'd just won the lottery. Then his lips were on mine and he was kissing me with such incomparable joy I felt floored. I could still even taste me on his tongue.

"Edward," I said again, letting my hand drift downwards towards his straining erection, "let me. . ."

He snapped upright, his arm still half cradling me on the desk.

"Absolutely not."

My jaw dropped. "You don't want me to return the favor?"

"Oh, I do," he smirked, "but I want to do it when we have more time, and a bed or a floor even, or maybe a door, and I want to bury myself in you right afterwards."

"You do?" I gaped, really unable to process anything mentally after what had been possibly the best orgasm of my life.

"Oh hell yes I do. Don't you?" His green eyes gleamed with mischief.

What else could I do but tell the truth, even though Naughty Bella had apparently left right after being satisfied. "Of course," I answered, "you know I want to. Let's go right now."

Edward took a deep breath and leaned over to pick something up off the floor. Apparently the thing he'd dropped right after I'd attacked him.

He reappeared with a bit bruised but still beautiful bouquet of flowers, and that finished me. I felt the beginnings of tears threaten the corners of my eyes and I tried to push them away. He was so . . . something. Perfect? No, not quite. I didn't think I'd like him so much if he was perfect. Not perfect. But perfect for me? Maybe. The jury was still a bit out, but they were rapidly coming to a decision, a lot faster than I really felt comfortable with.

"I actually made a reservation for us at Bluehour and I wanted to take you to lunch, maybe seduce you," he grinned boyishly at me, a bit giddily, and it filled me with the most overwhelming sense of being at exactly the right place at the right time, "but we got a little. . .distracted." He leaned over and picked up my discarded underwear, handing it to me. I gingerly slid them back on and moved off the desk, pulling my skirt down. I tried to rearrange my hair and I straighten my clothes.

"We could go grab a quick bite somewhere?" I asked hopefully, never wanting this to end.

"That sounds wonderful," he agreed, and I made one last final check of my clothes.

He extended the hand with the flowers. "Do you have a vase somewhere?"

"Oh yes, I do actually." I walked over to the bookcase and pulled a rather dusty vase off the bottom shelf.

I tried brushing the dust off but all I succeeded in doing was getting it all over my hands and face. Laughing, Edward took it from me and proceeded to do a far better job.

"This vase is going to see a lot more use, I predict," he smiled at me and I felt my heart jerk in response to what I thought he just said.

"Really?" I let myself ask, a little too hopefully.

"Definitely," he said, wrapping a hand around my waist and pulling me close.


	19. Chapter 19

**Author Note: ** Thanks to my betas, CallistoLexx and tamelaine. Also to the Twinster and Angel, who have been unbelievably supportive during the last few days, when I thought I had either writer's block or a serious case of burnout. The good news is that it's clearly not either of the two, cause we're totally back on track.

This is a bit shorter of a chapter than usual for me, but it's so sad, I figured you guys wouldn't want to deal with 5,000+ words of heart fail. So only 3,000+ words of heart fail.

Songs are up on my profile.

Oh, one more thing. I swore to her I would do this, so here it is: PLEASE CHECK OUT THE TWINSTER (Debussy-This)'s NEW STORY. . .PAGING DR. LOVE--IT KICKS MY ASS WITH ITS AWESOMENESS.

* * *

APOV

After kissing me, Jasper had said I was irresistible.

Why did I think that to him, in that moment, irresistible was the worst thing on the planet? The expression on his face had been virulently self-loathing. I knew, deep down, that to him, the kiss was a mistake. I just didn't know why he hadn't been honest.

Wishing desperately that he hadn't tried to hide the truth, I stood facing the spot in the kitchen where our lips had met for the first time. I'd been trying to resist coming here since I'd gotten up, and I'd failed about fifteen times so far. My heart kept wanting to return to the scene of the crime.

The clock on the microwave read 2 PM_._

_2 PM and nothing had gotten done. Not one single closet, not one cupboard._

When the alarm had gone off this morning, I'd simply ignored it and rolled over, my eyes closing, but sleep wasn't forthcoming. I knew I couldn't work, so not even leaving the bed, I'd grabbed my cell and called in sick, thinking I'd have an opportunity for some apartment reorganization without the bothersome presence of Bella or Rosalie.

I couldn't even remember the last time I'd called in sick when I wasn't sick. Except maybe I _was _sick—just in mind, not in body.

I was beginning to realize that I'd let him close enough to break my heart all over again. I wasn't sure who I hated more, Jasper or myself.

Why couldn't I be smart enough or at least self-preserving enough to keep away from him?

During the last week, I'd watched as Bella waited patiently—or not so patiently—for Edward's calls and texts. I watched Rosalie retreat into herself, trying to preserve the wall she'd kept between her and the world.

And I waited, for something I knew was never going to happen.

Unlike Bella, I had no reason to believe that Jasper would call.

And unlike Rosalie and Emmett, there was no past history that drew us together, like moths to a flame.

Like always, I was alone, but this time, it was harder to resign myself to this inevitable fate. I'd tasted something infinitely better, even for a few seconds, and trying to shift my life back into normalcy was proving onerous. _More like fucking heartbreaking_, I grumbled to myself.

Last night, I'd been forced to watch Bella come floating home on a cloud, and I'd known for sure that something important had happened between her and Edward, though I didn't have the heart to pump her. I'd noticed her hurt expression at my reticence, but I hadn't been able to find the voice to ask the question to her answer.

I'd gone to bed almost immediately after, unable to meet her sympathetic eyes one second longer. I supposed the despair was written all over my face. I told myself that really, it was better that I hadn't asked. If I had, I would have burst into tears, and then I'd have been subjected to Bella sympathy.

I loved my sister, and I wanted her to find happiness with Emmett, but surely there had to be a way that didn't cause me to cry my eyes out every night. I couldn't continue this. Using my heart as bait for Jasper was no longer a feasible plan if I wanted to stay out of a straitjacket and a padded cell.

I straightened my shoulders and my back. I already felt better. Okay, that was a lie. I felt worse, but I was determined to feel better regardless. I would _not _wander aimlessly around my apartment because Jasper Cullen had broken my heart _again_. I was stronger and better than that. At least that was what I liked to think.

This self-empowerment lasted about five minutes until my phone rang, and diving for it, I noticed the caller ID.

I dropped my 400 Blackberry like it was a hissing cobra and it bounced on the hardwood floor.

Gingerly, I edged towards it, and took comfort in the fact that there were no small black plastic pieces littering the floor.

I picked it up and hesitantly clicked on the missed call button. _Damn. _I hadn't been hallucinating before. He really _had _called. Christ.

I plopped down hard on a barstool and just sat there for about five minutes, staring at the phone in front of me. At his name. _Jasper Cullen_. I traced the characters on the screen.

At that moment, I knew that there was no way I'd be able to walk away. I didn't even care why he had called. All that mattered was that I knew I loved him, and I would do whatever it took to be close to him—even if he didn't feel the same way about me. It was almost enough just to be near him. _Almost._

Who was I kidding?

I was going to stick by his side like glue until he realized that he loved me too.

Taking a deep breath, I clicked on my most recent call, and stared for one last minute before I clicked Jasper's number. There was no going back now.

I tapped my foot nervously on the floor as the phone rang.

Finally, just as the wait was beginning to be unbearable, he picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hi. It's Alice. You called?"

"Um. Oh yeah."

_What? He'd forgotten he'd called me less than ten minutes ago? Did he have zero short term memory?_

I could feel myself growing annoyed. "And why did you call me?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"About?" I knew there was a harder than typical edge to my voice but I couldn't turn it off. It was all that was saving me from going all swoony and breathless and shit at the fact that he'd _wanted_ to talk to me_._

Maybe this wouldn't be as difficult as I'd thought. Maybe he'd really meant that I was irresistible.

"Well, what I have to say would probably be better in person. Can you take a break from work?"

_Shit. There's no way I can tell him the reason I stayed home from work._

"Sure," I lied as smoothly as I could. "But actually I took a vacation day today, so I'm free whenever. What did you have in mind?"

"Can I come to your house?"

My heart dropped to the floor. "Of course," I replied, completely unable to keep the hesitation and stutter from my voice. "When?" _Please tell me I have at least an hour. Just one hour, God, that's all I ask for._

"An hour?"

It was almost as if God and Jasper had melded into one being. All these were good signs so far.

"Great. Sounds good." Adrenaline was racing through my veins and I could barely see or think straight, the thoughts were flying through my head so fast. Almost instantaneously I had a mental list of about fifteen things that had to be done before Jasper showed up.

"Okay, see you then." He hung up and I shot to my feet. I had to look my very best in only an hour. Typically, this would not be a problem. After all, he'd kissed me the first time with me straight out of bed. But I had to look more irresistible than before. So irresistible that he forgot everything he wanted to say and took me straight to bed. Or to the floor. Or against a wall.

* * *

Exactly one hour later there was a knock on the door.

What? He'd decided to knock this time? Not just come barreling in and scare the shit out of me?

I took one last look in the mirror, tweaked a hair into place even though it already looked perfect, and headed toward the door.

When I opened it, he was standing there, and all I could think was that it was so _unfair _that he was so uncompromisingly gorgeous. He looked sterner than I'd seen him since high school, and I felt a small tremor of foreboding shiver down my spine.

"Jasper," I said brightly, trying to dispel the sudden sense of despair that threatened to envelop me. He had _not _come here to metaphorically kill me. He was here to tell me he cared about me—that he wanted me. I had to keep believing that for my own sanity.

"Alice," he replied, and I stepped aside to open the door wider and let him in. Suddenly the foyer that had seemed perfectly sized before was too small for the two of us. Jasper wasn't an enormous person, by any means, but his presence filled the space, and the distance between us felt like it was closing. If only he would stop looking at me so strangely, so intensely. That in itself was worrisome.

"You look. . ." he drifted off, then cleared his throat, and tried to continue, "beautiful. Really _really _beautiful." His voice was low and rough.

"Oh?" I raised one eyebrow and tried to give him my most seductive look. It was, however, difficult to look seductive when you were short and small and flat in all the places you should be round.

Apparently, though, it must have worked because all of a sudden my feet were off the floor and he was surrounding me, and kissing me. This kiss was completely different than our first kiss—that had been acknowledged and almost agreed upon by both of us before it happened. It had been passionate, but he had been completely in control.

This time, it felt like his control had just snapped. And oh, that was a wonderful thing.

"Alice," he nearly moaned as our lips moved frantically together, like we couldn't get enough. Well, I knew for sure that _I _couldn't.

Then, just as suddenly as the kiss began, it ended.

He thrust me away from him, and stared at me like I was some sort of temptress a la Hester Prynne.

"Alice," he repeated, and this time I could tell that his control was back and unfortunately for me, stronger than ever. "We need to talk."

The bad feeling at the base of my stomach grew.

"About what?" I tried to smile, but I knew it came out looking more like a grimace instead. _Why did he do this to me? Did he get his rocks off on torturing me?_

"Alice," he sighed. "This has been such a . . .mistake."

I could only gape at him as he continued, my heart shattering one word at a time.

"I know that we pretended to be close to help out Emmett and Rosalie, and I would be willing to still do that. Obviously, they want each other."

I nodded, transfixed by the dark, bleak look in his eyes. Maybe if I focused on something other than what he was saying, it wouldn't feel as if he were plunging a dagger into me, over and over.

"But I never should have touched you when we were alone."

_Don't cry, _I ordered myself_. Please don't cry. Don't let him see that he is tearing you to pieces._

"What about. . .just now?" My voice cracked at the end, and I wanted to sink through the floor in humiliation. If he hadn't known what his words were doing to me before, he knew now, and I wanted to kill him for it. Could I retain none of my pride?

Jasper ran his fingers through his hair, and I was just dumb enough, just stupid and naïve and girlish enough, to still want him in that moment, even though he was doing the best job he could to break my heart.

"That was. . .another mistake."

I wanted to kick him in the shins, then castrate him slowly and painfully.

How could he kiss me one moment then tell me in the next that it was a mistake? Obviously he wanted me in _some _way—and how could that way be so wrong?

I was determined to talk him out of this. There was _no way _he could really mean what he was saying.

"But you did kiss me. It's not like I forced you to. You did it twice, even. Both times were at your instigation." I made sure my voice was hard and a little tough. That way he couldn't hear the pain.

"I know, god, I know. And I am so sorry." He sounded so bereft and sad and lost that in any other circumstances I would have felt sorry for him. I would have comforted him. But right now, I was the only one who needed comfort.

"Don't be sorry!" I yelled. "Make some damn sense once in awhile. You don't just go around kissing girls and then apologizing for it."

"You're mad. I deserve it," he mumbled, his face contorted in some form of masochistic pain.

I didn't want him to deserve it. I wanted him to take it back.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I stayed stonily silent. I was still afraid I'd burst into tears and then he'd see what he'd really done to me.

"God, Alice, I just want to be friends again."

Friends? _Friends? _Did he really think that we could be fucking friends again after this shit he'd pulled?

Yet, even as I opened my mouth to tell him to go fuck himself, I knew I couldn't actually say it. I still wanted him. I still loved him. _God, would I ever learn?_

"Okay."

His head shot up, almost as if he was surprised I'd be so agreeable. Hell, I didn't want to acquiesce to his over-the-top demands, but what could I do? I knew it would be worse to say no, and then probably never see him again. I was like an addict and I needed my Jasper hit.

"Are you sure?"

_Absolutely not._

"Of course."

Jasper sighed again, but this time it was in relief. How could he be so convinced that he didn't want me, but then be so relieved when I didn't kick him to the curb? There was something here that wasn't making sense, but in my fragile state, I didn't want to go poking around the logistics.

"So we're fine?"

Was he crazy? Of course we're not fine, but I can't deny you a single damn thing, so we're going to have to be—at least for now.

"Yes," I replied, far from sure, nearly destroyed even, but determined not to let him know the truth.

"Great," he smiled, and it was genuine. He was _glad_. Gah. Why had I been so easy on him?

Oh, that's right. I loved him aka I was stupidity personified.

"Yeah," I said, not trusting myself to either throw myself on him again, or tackle him to the ground and kill him.

"Well, I've got to get going. I'm just glad we're on the same page." Jasper moved toward the door and I had to fight the urges again. Love and hate swirled inside of me and if I wasn't forcing my head up and my knees straight, I would have crumpled to the ground.

Oh me too. _Me too. _Dickhead.

"Okay. I'll see you later," I said. _Just go now before I start sobbing hysterically in front of you._

"Bye," he said, and I shut the door behind him and immediately sagged against the wood, my knees no longer wanting to hold me upright.

All my hopes and dreams had come to this? _To this? _To him apologizing for wanting me?

I sank down to the floor and stared blindly at the tile I'd picked out only a year ago. I'd been so happy. So ridiculously happy to be able to pick out some damn tile. I would trade every material thing I owned for Jasper to not see me as a mistake.

This time I couldn't stop the tears. There was nothing to prevent them from falling in a cascade of destroyed hopes. I sat in front of the door, on the hard tile floor, for what felt like hours, and cried until I felt empty. Empty, but still in pain.

Finally, I got up off the floor, my disused muscles shrieking at me, and made my way to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I saw the remnants of the destroyed makeup I'd spent so long perfecting before his arrival. My face was gaunt, the emotional upheaval I'd gone through clearly evident. Glancing at the clock on the clock on the wall, I was shocked to see it was only 4 PM. I would have enough time to calm down and try to repair the damage before Rosalie and Bella came home.

Part of me knew that I should tell them about my conversation with Jasper, but most of me hated the idea of them sympathizing with me over my great humiliation.

Glancing around for something to do to fix my ruined face and heart, I knew instantly that a hot bath was the best idea I could come up with.

I ran the water as hot as I could stand, lit some nice calming aromatherapy candles around the bathroom, turned the overhead lights off, and sank down with a deep relaxing breath into the hot water.

The water was so hot it nearly scalded my skin and I felt the emotional upheaval of the last hour slowly begin to seep out of me. _This was exactly what I'd needed._

Finally, a good half an hour later, I was finally feeling marginally better. The water had cooled, and as I climbed out and wrapped a towel around myself, I started shivering a little bit.

I glanced at the mirror and felt an intense relief that the shadows and pain on my face had finally dissipated. I still looked a bit bloodshot from all that crying, but it was a lot better than it had been.

_Good, _I thought, _cause Rosie and Bella are going to be home soon and they'll notice pronto if I look hideous._

I opened the bathroom door and headed down the hall to my room, and had almost gotten there when I heard the front door open. _Damn it, I thought I'd have more time._

"Alice?" Bella's voice rang out through the townhouse. She sounded disgustingly happy.

"I'm here," I called, and tried to dance out into the living room with some semblance of my normal self intact.

Luckily, she was so self-absorbed in her own happiness—_it was practically radiating off of her_, I thought with disgust—she didn't even notice my pallor or my reddish eyes.

"I have great news," she sang, sounding suspiciously like an old version of myself. Before Jasper had come back into my life and dismantled me.

"Yeah?" I asked, fidgeting with the top of my towel.

"All of us are going to dinner tonight!"

My heart sank into the bottom of my stomach. "All of us?"

"Yep! You, me, Rose, and all the boys."

I wanted to ask her if Jasper was coming, but that would have piqued her curiosity and I wasn't in the mood to deflect her inquisitiveness.

"Great," I tried to enthuse, not being able to think of a single thing I'd rather do less than go to dinner with Jasper and try to pretend that he hadn't just ripped the heart from my body and stomped it into pieces.

"We've got to hurry and get ready," she said, eyes shining with happiness. I didn't have the heart to tell her how I really felt about the dinner plans that she and Edward had clearly concocted together.

"So you and Edward then?" I asked with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

"Well yes," she said, giggling rather inanely, "but dinner was actually something Rose and I came up with."

My eyebrows shot to my hairline. "You and _Rose_?"

She was voluntarily offering to break bread with Emmett? This was bad. Very bad. Or good, if I could try to focus on someone other than myself for half a second.

As if on cue, the front door opened again, and Rose walked into the living room, a big smile on her face.

Was I the only one who remembered that the Cullens were trouble? Had aliens taken my two best friends and brought me these happy, lovesick zombies in their place?

"Al, did Bella tell you our plans?" Rose was trying, at the very least, to retain some of her bored sophistication, but I saw right through that. She was excited, and couldn't really hide it.

"Oh yes." How many times was I going to have to fake excitement?

"You need to go get ready," Bella insisted. "Did you take a bath when you got home from work?"

"Yeah," I lied, "it was just a bit of a rough day." _Understatement of the century._

"Oh, are you okay?" Bella asked sympathetically.

I waved my hand blithely. "I'm fine. All good."

"You sure?" Rose asked with concern.

"Oh, I'm fine. Not a problem."

"You're up for dinner then?" Bella asked excitedly.

"Definitely."

"Then go get dressed, we need to leave in half an hour."

Normally, this would have sent me into a panic attack, but the emotional upheaval of the day had drained me even my usually bottomless energy. I could get ready in thirty minutes—especially if I didn't care what I looked like.

I turned to walk toward my bedroom to get dressed, knowing I wouldn't be able to fake those two out for much longer. I had to get away before I broke down again.

_How on earth was I going to get through an entire dinner? With Jasper?_

I shut my bedroom door behind me and felt the tears start to leak again.

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**You have no idea how reviews make my life. Keep it coming guys! I love to hear what you think.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Author Note:** Thanks for all your reviews on chapter 19!! I know a lot of you hated what Jasper did and I hated it too, but it was necessary. Let's just say that he's scared of emotional commitment and so he acts sometimes with his heart (which embraces how he feels about Alice) and sometimes with his head (which doesn't). That may help with understanding his actions better.

Thanks to CallistoLexx and tamelaine, my betas, and also to the Twinster (Debussy-this), and Angel and JDSK. You guys are awesome and without you, this all important chapter would never have been completed.

There's a youtube video of Holden's speech from _Chasing Amy _on my profile, if you'd like to see it in the actual movie.

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BPOV

I watched Alice disappear down the hallway, her hunched over shoulders emphasizing her slight form. Something was definitely up but with my head feeling like I'd filled it with helium, I couldn't focus hard enough to pinpoint exactly what it was.

I turned toward Rosalie, but she too had a small furrow between her eyebrows, as if she were trying to make sense of what had just happened.

"What do you think that was?" I asked in a hushed tone.

Rose shrugged her shoulders. "Hell if I know. You know Alice and her strange moods."

"Yeah, but usually her moods have something to do with legal addictive stimulants. Just now she looked. . .drained."

What I'd said must have resonated with Rose because her eyes took on a slightly wild, helpless tinge. _Uh oh_. _Rosalie hated feeling helpless._

"I'm sure it's nothing," I quickly backtracked before I had two upset females on my hands. Besides, it had been so good to hear the happiness in Rosalie's voice this afternoon when she'd called me, bubbling like a spring as she'd told me all about how glad she was that she and Emmett were friends again.

My jaw had nearly hit the desk at her words, but with a minimal amount of surprised stammering, I'd done my best to encourage her. After all, it was clear to everyone, except Emmett and Rosalie themselves, that they were still in love. They just needed a bit more encouragement, and the bubble of insane lust and happiness that surrounded Edward and I, not to mention the sexual tension emanating from Alice and Jasper, should definitely help them along.

"I'm not sure . . ." Rose trailed off dubiously, but I didn't want her to spend the evening worried about Alice, so I had to get Plan Rosalie-Emmett back on track.

"It'll be fine," I almost interrupted, flashing her a big smile. "I'm sure Alice was just stressed about getting ready so quickly."

"Yeah, probably," Rosalie replied absently, her focus shifted out of our conversation and onto one of the car magazines lying on the coffee table beside us.

"I'm just going to go . . .freshen up a bit," I lied, needing an excuse to go interrogate Alice. Clearly, something was going on, and I needed to know what it was.

I walked down the hallway to our bedrooms, trying to make as little noise as possible on the hardwood floors. If I could, I wanted to surprise Alice, catch her a little off guard. Though Rosalie was definitely the most contained and private of the three of us, Alice could easily give her a run for her money in certain situations. I had a feeling this was one of those.

I neared Alice's bedroom door, and quickly I laid my head against the wood, trying to make out any noises from inside. There were none.

Stepping back, I rapped lightly on the door. "Alice?"

Nothing but silence met my knock.

I waited about twenty seconds, then tried the door handle. Unlocked.

Just as I was about to walk into the bedroom, I heard footsteps behind me, and I whipped around only to see Alice looking at me with amusement. Clearly, she hadn't been in her room.

"Channeling 007 are we?" The sparkle was back in Alice's eyes, and the dark shadows underneath them had disappeared. That yucky pasty look of her skin had completely disappeared, and while she still wasn't exactly her glowing self, she looked about fifty times better.

"Uh, I just thought I'd borrow some of your shoes."

Alice raised one perfect eyebrow. "You _want _to wear a pair of shoes that's two sizes too small?"

"Well, no," I began, but as I watched Alice's face grow suspicious, I quickly changed my tune. "Yes, I mean," I finished, adding a big smile for good measure.

"Fabulous!" Alice said, eyeing the rest of my outfit. "Really, Bella," she added, "I can't even express how much _better _you look lately. You're like Sleeping Beauty—waking from a long sleep to embrace your couture inner self. Or even better, Cinderella, finally ditching her dirty rags!"

Slack-jawed at her sudden reversal, I could only gape as Alice pulled me into her room, and then into her walk-in closet to examine the rows and rows of shoes she kept there.

Walking around me, Alice carefully perused both my dark jeans and my dark fuchsia ruffled tank with the cute satin tie belt.

"You need some really hot boots to tuck those jeans into," she finally decided. "Those flats were probably good for work but we need to amp you up a bit."

I felt a momentary panic of having to cram my poor feet into boots that were two sizes too small, but I knew I'd do that and more if I could keep Alice cheerful and her from dragging Rosalie down with her.

"This is really beautiful," Alice said, almost in awe, as she stood on her tiptoes and fingered the scooped, beaded neckline. "I've never seen your skin glow like this."

I wanted to tell her that the glowing skin came not from a color but from being so far in lust with someone that you nearly felt the top of your head explode when they were close by.

"Ah, yeah, I'm using a new moisturizer," I stumbled, hoping that Alice was too far distracted in the rows of shoes she was examining that she wouldn't know it for the lie it was.

"Here we go," Alice said, holding up a beautiful pair of black leather boots.

"Are those your new Nanette Lepore boots?" I gasped, reaching out one hand to reverently touch the leather, knowing my little show would send Alice into orbit.

"Yes, and you'd better be damn careful with them, but for you, anything," Alice beamed at me. "You lose these like Cinderella, and I swear I'll track you down harder than Prince Phillip."

I nodded gravely, knowing that she wasn't joking around. Hurting Alice's shoes was like stringing Alice up by her toenails and performing Chinese water torture.

Handing them to me, she turned back to her closet and began rapidly pawing her way through some dresses.

"Help me find something to wear," Alice said, not even bothering to look behind at me. I had relegated myself to a chair to try to leverage the tightly-fitting boots on. They were gorgeous but I wasn't even sure they were hot enough to make up for all the pain they were going to cause me.

"Uh," I stammered, gritting my teeth and pulling with all my might, "just a second. Let me get the boots on first."

Alice had gone into full-on fashionista mode, tossing dress after dress onto the bed in a whirlwind of arms and fabric.

Finally, I managed to pry the boots on, and standing up, I wobbled over to where Alice was standing, trying to ignore the way that the boots pinched my toes.

"Just something simple," I recommended, in the most calming, soothing voice I could come up with, "we're probably going to be late as it is."

Alice turned and glared at me, and continued working her way through her closet.

"How about this one?" I asked, catching a raspberry colored jersey dress as it came perilously close to flying into my face.

Glancing at it quickly, Alice shrugged uninterestedly.

I held it up. "No, no, it's gorgeous. The color will be fabulous on you," I insisted sweetly, "and besides, we're not going anywhere really nice. Something simple is probably best."

Alice took a second look at it, this time with her eyes speculative. "Well, I suppose that could work," she said hesitantly.

I made a big show of glancing at the watch on my wrist and finally she threw her hands up and gave me a playful shove toward the direction of her bedroom door.

"Fine, fine, fine. Give me ten more minutes and we'll go."

"Excellent." I tried to hold back the victory in my voice, but I think she caught of a whiff of it, as she rolled her eyes while shutting the door behind me.

I took off down the hall, the shaky clickety-clack sounds of the boots on the hardwood floor proving just how awkward I was walking in them.

I came around the corner, saw Rosalie sitting on the living room couch, flipping through one of her many car magazines and shut my mouth before I could say a word.

I wanted just ten more seconds to take in the tender, almost secret expression on her face before I clued Rose into my presence and it disappeared entirely, hidden behind the wall she kept up so vigilantly.

I knew she was thinking about Emmett, maybe even dreaming about him, from the way that her lips curled up into that nostalgic, almost bittersweet smile. Glancing at the magazine she was thumbing through absently, I guessed that her thoughts must have been triggered by its contents, as I saw the title, _4x4_, blazoned in bright yellow on the cover.

Understanding that Rosalie was still in love with Emmett was one thing, seeing it written all over her face like this, was completely another. I wondered if I looked like that when I thought about Edward, and decided that yes, I probably did, though likely my expression contained more lemonade than lemons.

I was so caught up in these thoughts that I didn't even hear the footsteps behind me until it was too late.

"Bella!" Alice scolded, her voice so loud in my ear that, in surprise, I lost my balance and started teetering on the skyscraper heels. "If you want to be the next James Bond, you're going to have to be a lot more subtle than that."

Grabbing the wall for support, I glanced over at Rosalie, whose face had closed over like a nuclear winter.

"I uh. . .ah. . ." I mumbled, totally aware of my incompetency at this moment in time, "I was just stretching a bit."

Alice rolled her eyes at my ludicrous excuse. "Whatever, Bella, I won't even ask why your muscles are suddenly sore."

I blushed a bright beet red at the way Rose cackled in response to Alice's comment. They had _no _idea how awkward lying on a desk was while you were being given the most incredible orgasm of your life. Really, it was a testament to Edward's sexual prowess that I hadn't even noticed the uncomfortable nature of my position until after it was all over.

"Whatever," I grumbled, "let's go before we're irreparably late."

"I didn't take that much time," Alice whined happily, much to my relief. It appeared that she'd recovered her spirits almost entirely. I'd have to do my best to watch her when she was around Jasper to make sure that nothing bad had happened between them. The last thing we needed was for them to get cold feet and encourage Rosalie and Emmett in their same direction.

Rosalie drove again, of course, and though Alice tried to protest, I kicked her so swiftly in the shins with my—okay, well, _her_—Nanette Lapore boot, that she ended her bitching before it even began. I needed to try to balance out the happiness of both Alice and Rosalie and so far, this was proving a lot more difficult than I'd imagined.

When I'd called Edward, all excited at Rose's dinner idea, he'd mentioned that he would try to get Jasper and Emmett there in better than usual moods. I'd agreed whole-heartedly that any emo-ness had to be eliminated from the evening, and that I would do my best to get everyone there in a lighthearted mood. Walking into the apartment tonight and seeing Alice look so downtrodden had sent me into an immediate panic spiral but I was pretty proud of myself that I'd managed to yank her out of her funk. Alice was an extremely cheerful person, but whenever she did descend into a foul mood, she tended to brood for longer than was entirely necessary.

Luckily, we had avoided that. Unfortunately, it was at the cost of my toes' circulation.

Rosalie pulled up to the curb and parked. As we climbed out of the car, I almost considered pointing out snarkily that my Jeep had two passenger doors as well as the driver and front passenger door, but remembered just in time that I was supposed to be delivering Rosalie to Emmett in a stellar temper. Complaining about being shoved into the back of her R32 like a sardine in a can wouldn't exactly accomplish that goal.

Edward had suggested we go to Voleur, which was a classy little restaurant right in the heart of downtown, by the water, that was renowned for its late night dining. I was glad he'd picked it because dinner at a regular hour was generally pretty quiet there, and after our first experience all together at Montage, which, with extended exposure, could possibly cause a serious hearing loss.

Voleur would be a much better venue for actually talking among the six of us—which was another point in our plan. The more used to the six of us hanging out that Emmett and Rosalie became, the less they could back out of any plans and the more time they'd spend in each other's company. Theoretically, they were then supposed to succumb to the temptation and hook up again. I wasn't exactly sure how that part of the plan worked yet, but I figured we'd get to that after tackling point number two.

As we walked in the front door, I slid a quick glance over to Alice, checking her state one last time. While she wasn't exactly dancing along like she normally did, excess energy flowing around her like smog, she was definitely looking a lot happier. I breathed one last sigh of relief. I must have misread her earlier.

Rosalie stepped forward to talk to the _maître d'_ about our reservation, and I pondered, not for the first time, what had prompted her to take all this initiative. Only a few days before, she'd nearly called the cops on Emmett, but slowly, something seemed to be shifting inside of her, and that shift had only wrought positive changes so far.

Edward had told me that when he and Jasper had walked into Rose's office for property tour, Emmett and Rose had nearly been on top of each other, and he'd added that they'd spent nearly the whole morning in almost exclusive discussion over cars and garages and business. Add to this the phone call I'd gotten from her this afternoon about dinner, and there was definitely something up, but naturally, this was Rosalie and so unless she decided to divulge, we'd all remain in the dark.

The _maître d'_ showed us to the upstairs, which Rose had apparently called ahead to reserve. I don't think Alice saw, but I certainly noticed her slip him a folded bill and my eyes widened. One of us was going to have to drag this out of her, because not knowing what she was thinking was killing me—and probably killing whatever plan we had, too. With Rose, you couldn't always assume the obvious. Her methods were kind of notoriously twisted and different. For all we knew, this could be some way of driving us all apart.

I hugged my arms around myself, both at the over-chilled room and at the sudden fear that Edward and I would never discover all that we could be. Just thinking about him made me hot and weak all over, and I'd done almost no work for the last two days because all I could think of when I looked at my desk was his tongue. And what a tongue it was.

Much to my dismay, we hadn't had an opportunity to finish what we'd started and every time I complained about it—loudly, to my own dismay and embarrassment—Edward had laughed and told me that when the time was right it would happen.

I was getting to the point where I didn't want rose petals and candles. I just wanted him. _Tonight_, I told myself, _you're going to get him to give in. _And that was the part of the plan that was unknown to him. I'd dressed to kill, thanks partially to Alice's boots and also partially to all the years of rigorous fashion and beauty training she'd put me through, and tonight, I was going to make Edward Cullen mine.

My stomach felt jumpy with butterflies, but these were a new, different breed—butterflies on crack. Still, I was determined to ignore them, and instead listen to the fire in my panties.

The _maître d' _left us and we settled down at the table to wait for the Cullen brothers.

I set my purse on the floor and Alice let out a strangled gasp.

Reaching over me, in direct contradiction to all those dinner time rules that her mother had likely taught her, Alice grabbed my bag and nearly threw it on my lap.

"Never," she huffed, "treat a Coach that way again, or I may have to slit your throat."

Angling her body towards me, Alice crooned to the purse, "No matter what happens, I'll always be with you. Forever."

I did a double take and so did Rosalie. Our concerned eyes met over Alice's head and Rose shook her head almost imperceptibly, as if she were trying to tell me to leave it alone. But I couldn't—I had to know what the fuck was going on so I could figure out the ramifications of Alice totally losing her mind and what that would do to our plan.

"Alice," I asked cautiously, "what are you talking about?"

She smiled brightly—the brightest, in fact, that she'd smiled all evening so far, and I almost shouted out to her that I didn't care if she was straightjacket and padded room nuts, as long as she was cheerful, but it was a little late to take it back.

"That was _Pocahontas_," Alice chirped.

"_Pocahontas_?" I gaped, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Rose attempt to stifle some laughter. _What the hell was going on?_

Before I could complete the thought, I heard footfalls on the staircase and my head swiveled in the direction of the noise.

I had never been so glad to see Edward, and not because I felt as if I was about to self-combust from sexual frustration but because he was going to save me from a potential lifetime in an asylum. Me and Alice, both.

I worried for a brief second that Alice would greet the boys with another quote, but I let out the breath I was holding when she said hello in a friendly and _normal _voice. I almost missed Edward's quick peck on my cheek I was so damn worried about my best friend. I was beginning to wonder if she'd actually cracked.

Even her greeting with Jasper seemed friendly enough, though I hadn't been exactly sure what to look for. Surely, if they'd fought, neither of them would be here tonight. Besides, what would they fight over anyway? They were clearly crazy about each other.

Edward leaned over the table and grabbed my hand, caressing it in the most delightful way. "Hey baby," he purred, his voice dark and exotic, and full of unspeakable secrets, "I missed you."

Staring into his perfect green eyes while admiring his incredibly chiseled cheekbones and bronze hair, I wondered how lucky a girl could get.

"I missed you too," I whispered, glancing down the table to make sure nobody else was paying attention to us. They weren't.

Emmett and Rosalie were deep in conversation, almost as if they were disagreeing, but their faces were so close, their noses were nearly touched. I noticed Emmett's arm draped casually around the back of her chair, and I did an inward cheer.

I leaned back a little to look around them, and I noticed that Edward was following my sneakiness with an amused smile. "You're so cute," he mumbled so quietly that I almost didn't catch it, "like a female James Bond."

Teasingly glaring at him, I told him, "You're not the first person who's accused me of being that, except that Alice's reaction today was not nearly as adorable."

Edward's eyes twinkled, and I felt my heart stuttering again. _God, I was so close to falling for him. I felt like I was hanging over the cliff face with only my fingernails holding me up._

But before I could completely lose myself in Edward's eyes or bear to tear myself away so I could see what Alice and Jasper were up to, I heard a very loud throat clearing behind me. Whipping my head around, I turned bright red at the waiter standing there, clearly ready to take my order.

_How long had he been there? I suppose he's probably used to hearing sweet nothings._

I willed the blush away and was about to order a glass of wine when a tiny pixie voice behind me spoke up instead.

"Will you get your head out of the clouds and back in the water where it belongs!"

My mind was blank except for a rapidly increasing line of exclamation points.

This time it was Alice, in the restaurant, with _The Little Mermaid_.

_You shouldn't even be surprised, _I told myself, _she's never been completely normal._

This time Rosalie was definitely laughing, but at least she was attempting to hide it behind her hand. Emmett, on the other hand, was doing no such thing. He was loudly booming out his amusement at the situation. Edward was shaking his head, smiling at me, but the smile hadn't quite reached his eyes. He knew something was up too, and as I looked down the table, I could see that Jasper's expression wasn't quite right either.

_He knew what was going on. Oh shit._

But the second before my brain went into full-on panic mode, complete with red flashing lights and emergency sirens, Jasper broke into a huge smile, bright enough to send Alice to the ER for third degree burns, because it was focused solely and completely on her.

If any of us were surprised at his behavior, Alice looked positively floored, but then hesitantly, she smiled back.

"Awesome, Alice!" he said genuinely, and held his hand up for a high five which she smacked enthusiastically without even hesitating. "_The Little Mermaid_ kicks some major ass."

I wasn't sure what I was more shocked at: the sudden reversal of attitude or the fact that Jasper knew _The Little Mermaid _well enough to recognize a quote from it.

In any case, I wasn't sure if it even mattered, as long as the crisis situation was averted, and I could concentrate on ordering an excellent glass of wine, staring sappily into Edward's glorious eyes and undressing him mentally.

Five minutes later, right when I was heavily involved in the latter, tracing Edward's heavily muscled V with my tongue right before it descended lower, I got another wakeup call.

My ears perked up and I knew the worst had come to pass. Alice had stopped the small talk altogether and was now exclusively quoting Disney to Jasper, and even stranger, he was appearing to enjoy it.

"For every to, there is a fro, for every stop there is a go and that's what makes the world go round," Alice sang, and beamed at Jasper, waiting for his reply.

He appeared deep in thought for a second and then a matching smile lit his face up.

"_Sword and the Stone_!" he exclaimed excitedly. _Okay, this was just too weird._

The purpose, I told myself sternly, of this dinner was for _all six of us _to interact, not for me to daze off, imagining all the things I'd like to do to Edward. Clearly, if left to their own devices, Rose and Emmett were going to be absorbed in each other and Alice was not to be trusted to carry on a normal civilized conversation.

Edward and I were going to have to become the moderators. We did anything else and nothing would be accomplished.

Clearing my throat to get the attention of the table, I looked straight at Rosalie and prepared to blow Emmett's world apart.

"Rosalie," I said sweetly, "I just wanted to say thanks for coming up with such a brilliant idea."

"What idea?" Emmett asked, a frown growing on his handsome face.

Rose's eyes widened in dread and she sent me a death look—so I was right, she didn't want Emmett to know this was her idea. _Stay strong, she can't hurt you too much._

"For us to all have dinner together," I finished, sending one last saccharine sweet smile in that pair's direction.

Emmett was clearly taken aback by this particular tidbit.

Under the table, Edward's feet had become intertwined with mine, and he was using one of his legs to rub mine so seductively that I nearly melted into a puddle on the floor of the restaurant.

"Stop that!" I hissed at him, under the cover of the waiter refilling water glasses, "you are totally distracting me. I need my game face on."

"What, you've noticed the disaster too?"

I rolled my eyes. "You need to help me."

"I'll try, I promise. Let me think if I can come up with something."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes again.

_Think, Bella, THINK, _I chanted to myself.

I glanced over at Rosalie, wondering if maybe she could give me some ideas, but her gaze was fastened on Alice and Jasper, who were laughing so hard at their quoting game that they were nearly falling off their chairs.

"I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food," Alice gasped in hysteria.

"_Finding Nemo_!" Jasper yelled.

"You know how men are. They think 'No' means 'Yes' and 'Get lost' means 'Take me. I'm yours,'" Alice guffawed.

The quote from _Hercules_, which Jasper again correctly guessed—who would have known the man knew his Disney?—gave me the idea.

"Hey Rosalie," I nearly had to yell to be heard over the racket that Alice and Jasper were making, "speaking of how men think no means yes, I listened to the quote again today."

Rose turned her head back to me, and smiled conspiratorially.

"Again? Bella, you are such a romantic. It's kind of sick."

"Well, yes and no. It's romantic, yes, but the situation he's in is fairly dire. He has to do _something_ and not something normal—like something completely out of character and totally desperate. The desperation Holden feels pushes him to do something completely crazy. That's why it's so romantic. His speech is a total Hail Mary pass that he knows has almost no chance of succeeding."

"Which movie?" Edward asked, smiling at me in gratitude.

"_Chasing Amy_," I replied, just a touch louder than normal—just loud enough to get Alice's attention. As I expected, her head swiveled immediately toward me.

"Did you say _Chasing Amy_?" Alice asked, her eyes lighting up. She looked twenty times better than before, with her gray eyes shining mischievously, and a wide smile invading her face.

"Oh I did." _And wait just . . one. . .two. . .three. . ._

Alice shot up, her chair sliding backwards. "No, he does it because he _has _to. That's the only way he can win her over."

Jasper was clearly intrigued by this point. He'd shifted his chair just slightly so he could take in the rest of the table _and _so he could have a better view of Alice. _Point one accomplished._

"Why is it the only way?" Emmett asked.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and said rather patronizingly, "Because she's gay, dumb ass."

"Wait a second," Emmett said, making the timeout sign with his hands, "this guy is trying to win over a girl that's _lesbian_? Is this that movie with all the girls kissing each other?"

"Yes," Edward added, his voice long-suffering, "but I can safely tell you that none of us have seen the speech part, or whatever Bella is talking about. Cause I sure as hell don't remember any romantic speech."

"That's because we stop watching as soon as she turns straight," Jasper added.

"So you've _never _heard it?" Alice gasped in surprise. "Not even once?"

Jasper nodded, and I felt my heart surge with win. _This was actually going to work._

"That settles it," Alice said decidedly. "Girls, we have to do this."

I jumped to my feet, and gave Edward a sly little wink. I'd saved the day and he was going to have to do some major repayment for this later. Physical repayment, if I had any say in the matter.

Rosalie groaned, but Alice danced over to her, her dress flipping as she walked, and Jasper's expression as she passed by him was priceless—like he'd just been hit over the head with a hammer. _Good, _I thought, _whatever mood she was in definitely had nothing to do with Jasper. _Of course, not that Alice's bad mood was a concern now—she had totally snapped out of it and everything was back on track. Without any more Disney quotes.

Alice dragged Rosalie up, and clapped her hands excitedly. "I'll start," she announced, clearing her throat.

An expectant silence fell over the table as we watched Alice.

"I love you," Alice began in an overly dramatic way, complete with pause, "and not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends.

"And not in a misplaced affection, puppy dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple. Very truly," I continued, my eyes meeting Edward's the whole time.

"You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore," Rose said, looking, I noticed, everywhere but at Emmett. I wondered how true those words rang for her. _Probably spot on,_ I thought, with a twinge of sadness.

Alice started stalking up and down the hardwood floor, really getting into character.

"I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't, I can't look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels," Alice extemporized, meeting my glance and winking. "I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship—no pun intended—but I had to say it, because I've never felt this way before. And I don't care, I _like_ who I am because of it."

Rosalie continued, her voice dropping in tone and volume, and there was an unbearable bitter echo there, "and if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome—which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shootdown." Finally, she looked at Emmett, and he gulped a little, clearly uncomfortable with how real the emotions Rosalie was channeling were.

Knowing I had to lighten things up, I decided to way overact. Or act badly. Either or, but probably both.

"And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know—I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment. And if there is a moment of hesitation," I begged, my voice rising to terribly hysteric levels, "then that means you feel something too. All I ask, please, is that you just, you just not dismiss that, and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds." I pulled out the last part as dramatically as I could, and I heard Edward chuckle in response to my terrible acting.

"Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you. And I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau," Rosalie continued, looking to Alice to continue to the end.

"Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me," Alice finished, almost quietly, her gaze dropping to her hands, which were twisted together.

"Alice!" Jasper jumped up, embracing her, "that was _amazing_!"

She looked at him like he'd just come from another planet. "Really?"

"It was . . .wow. We were really missing something by not watching after she turned straight, weren't we guys?"

Both Emmett and Edward nodded, though I could tell that the latter was having trouble holding in his laughter over the whole situation.

Alice was clearly relieved at Jasper's enthusiasm though, and she sank into his arms, resting her cheek on his chest. "Thank you," she said, and I felt a collective 'awwwwww,' coming.

The waiter, _damn him_, chose that moment to show up with our food, and Alice and Jasper broke apart, though I could see it was with reluctance on both ends.

"Did you find any good possible locations?" I asked both Rose and Emmett, as we ate.

"Actually yes," Emmett said, sending a sly, but very fond look Rose's way. "Rosie is a fantastic resource, and we've found several great locations."

I looked on in shocked surprise as Rosalie nearly blushed in response to Emmett's compliment. "I just do what anyone would do in my position—try to find you a good location that's within your budget," she explained modestly, but I could tell from the glow that was now emanating from her that she was flattered by his praise. _Point number two down._

"And what about you, Alice?" Jasper asked, intensely focused on her, despite the full plate of food in front of him. "How goes your job?"

"Oh, fine," she replied, looking up from her salmon, "I actually had a bit of free time today, and I got a lot of reorganizing done at the apartment."

I groaned. "You didn't reorganize my closet again, did you? Please say you didn't," I begged.

"I didn't get to yours," she teased. "So you're safe."

"You'd hate to come over to our house," Jasper confided, leaning over the table and staring deeply into Alice's eyes, "you'd go nuts."

"Where _do_ you guys live?" I interrupted, sending a pointed look in Edward's direction. It was time to implement the Get Edward's Pants Off Plan.

"A townhouse in the West Hills," Emmett said, in between shoveling in huge mouthfuls of steak.

"That's a great area," Rosalie murmured, smiling at him.

"It really is," Edward added. "Though a bit tricky to navigate when it ices over in the winter."

"But I'm sure that Emmett has a solution for that," Rosalie teased.

"Oh, I do," he boomed back, "nothing like four wheel drive."

"Amen," I chimed in. "I love my Jeep."

"Not you too!" Edward slyly poked at me.

"Believe me; nothing makes a girl feel safer than having steel roll bars surrounding her."

"What about steel arms," Edward joked, grabbing my hands and wrapping it in his. "I'd protect you; you know that right, Bella?"

"And you're going to protect me from a semi going sixty?"

"I'd try," Edward said, mesmerizing me with the emotion swirling in his beautiful green eyes.

Alice made a gagging noise, and we broke apart, both smiling.

"You guys are sick," Jasper whined, yet somehow, his arm had ended up around Alice's waist, even though they were both eating.

This was definitely an interesting development.

I scooted closer to Edward and rubbed my leather-boot encased leg on his. "When do you think we can get out of here?" I purred into his ear.

* * *

APOV

_When _could we get out of here? I wanted to castrate Jasper for acting this way.

I wanted to pull him outside and tell him exactly what I thought of him. Then I wanted him to tell me every single thing he had done and said that was a lie. Because though he'd insisted earlier today that it had been all a mistake and pretend, it sure didn't feel that way tonight.

_At least_, I told myself, _the Disney quotes did their job and sent you to the Happiest Place on Earth._

Quoting Disney movies always had improved my spirits, ever since I was a little girl, and they had seemed appropriate to use today, even if Bella had looked at me like I'd lost my mind. In high school, it had even been a little game for Jasper and I, and he'd caught on tonight like six minutes had passed, not six years.

I suspected that perhaps Bella had brought up _Chasing Amy _as recourse to get me to drop the Disney, but honestly, by that point they'd done their trick, and I felt comfortably relaxed, even with Jasper.

Jasper snaked an arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. Closing my eyes at the sudden electricity that wove its way through me at the contact, I felt lost for the first time in a long time. One part of me wanted to demand that he leave me alone, and we'd stop the pretending once and for all. The other part of me wanted to go on pretending forever.

The waiter finally came and cleared the plates away. I noticed that Bella was practically on Edward's lap and Emmett and Rosalie were clearly engrossed in arguing over some sort of car modification.

Jasper and I were, for all intents and purposes, alone. Again.

And that meant he could stop pretending. I tried subtly disengaging his arm from my waist, even though the thought shriveled my heart down another size. _Just do it, Alice, _I told myself, _he won't do it so you have to try to keep some measure of honestly between you._

But unfortunately, Jasper gripped my waist harder, and sent me a questioning look as to why I was trying to get rid of his arm.

"You're being ridiculous," I hissed as quietly as I could. "Just let me go!"

"Why?" He actually had the nerve to look surprised I'd want him to remove his arm.

I glared at him. "Do I actually need to _tell _you?"

"I wouldn't have asked otherwise," he crooned into my ear, swiping his tongue delicately over the ridges.

I jumped back, feeling like I'd just been electrocuted.

Throwing myself up from the chair, Jasper was required to loosen his grip and I sprang free.

"I need some air," I mumbled to the five surprised faces surrounding me, and I took off down the stairs and out the front door the restaurant. It'd grown dark in the time since we'd arrived, and I leaned on the side of the brick building and let my head tip back, so I could admire the stars.

Before I could really calm my breathing, I heard the front door open and shut again. I snapped my eyes shut and said a quick prayer to preserve my sanity. I knew he had followed me out here. The real question was _why_.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, not even opening my eyes to meet his.

I could sense his hesitation and his reluctance to answer. Maybe he couldn't explain it either.

"I don't know," he finally said, "I can't explain why. But I knew I had to."

"Because it was your fault?" I challenged, stepping away from the wall and facing him front on.

He spread his hands out in supplication. "You know it was; you don't have to tell me."

"Maybe I want to make you feel half as bad as I feel right now," I told him angrily. I could have cared less if he knew how I felt now. After all, I didn't have to say the words for him to know.

"Mission accomplished," he whispered, moving towards me, and effectively pinning me against the wall. His arms settled on either side of my head and suddenly I was trapped.

I glared at him. "Move," I demanded.

"No," he mused, "I don't think I really want to."

"You are insufferable," I barked. "I really hate you right now."

"No, you really don't," he murmured, moving his face closer to mine. I felt the beginnings of a panic attack start deep inside me. _Why was he doing this to me? Did he get off on torture?_

"Really, I do. Or at least I hate your evil twin."

He liked that, apparently, because a wide grin spread across his face. "Evil twin. That's a good one. Hot, even."

"It's hot?" I asked in surprise. "Hot that you play me so hot and cold I don't even know which way is up anymore?"

"Do I really do that?" Jasper asked, with a hint of teasing affection in his voice.

"You do," I snapped back. "You're doing it right now, god damn it."

"Do you want me to play hot, Alice?"

I really, _really _wanted to be able to tell him that no, I didn't.

But that would have been a lie and he would have known it as one. My heart was pounding and I couldn't deny that I was more turned on than I'd ever thought possible. I was lightheaded and dizzy from the amount of blood rushing from my head.

Jasper took one more step in, and then I knew how turned on he was, too. I closed my eyes in entreaty, knowing that I was totally letting him take control of the situation, and I couldn't find it in myself to care anymore.

"Yes," I whispered. "Yes, I want you to play hot right now."

He leaned in, and kissed me, hard. Suddenly I felt my body being shoved up hard against the wall, his thigh was in-between my legs, and I was panting into his mouth.

"I was crazy, Alice," he said between soul-wrenching kisses, "I'm sorry. So sorry."

"It's okay," I gasped, refusing to let the part of me speak that insisted it _wasn't _okay. As long as he came around, I insisted to that inner feminist, it would be okay.

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**reviews EQUAL chocolate sparkle peens from Charm City Cakes**


	21. Chapter 21

**AN: Thanks for everyone's support & reviews, as always, and thanks to my betas: tamelaine and CallistoLexx, as well as my honorary beta, The Twinster (Debussy-This). Songs for this chapter are up on my profile.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

EPOV

I knew what Bella was trying to do. I knew it and I was doing nothing to stop it.

Did she think it was easy for me to tell her no whenever she begged?

Because it wasn't. Whenever she begged, I wanted her to be on her knees, with me behind her, her luscious ass swaying in my line of vision until I broke down and finally slammed into her.

_Not good, _I told myself, _don't go there or you're going to have her on the floor in approximately five seconds._

I couldn't even think about the "lunch" we'd had a few days ago. Even the briefest thought of it sent every blood molecule in my body rushing to my dick. I still didn't know why I'd been stupid enough to say no to Bella's thinly-veiled suggestions that we both ditch the rest of the day and go back to her place. Of course I'd been interested, but even more than I'd wanted her; I wanted her to know that I cared.

I could still see myself, complete with HD picture quality, telling her no and the way her face had fallen at my evasions. What was I supposed to tell her? I like you too much to screw you right away? I want you to know how _much _I like you first? I couldn't tell her that. I'd sound like the biggest girl since Lance Bass. No good.

Right now, we were just finishing up what could possibly count as one of strangest dinners I'd ever had. Between good ol' Walt Disney and the lesbian in _Chasing Amy, _I was feeling like I'd been drop-shipped to some surreal cultural reference convention.

Really, at this point, with all the undercurrents at the table, Bella and I having sex on the floor of the restaurant in front of everyone wouldn't be that big of a surprise. With her rubbing up on me through the last half of the meal, it was amazing my control hadn't snapped yet. Though I supposed the dinner wasn't totally over and anything could viably happen in ten minutes.

As I watched the waiter reappear at the top of the stairs with the check, I felt Bella's hand creep up my thigh. _Was she trying to kill me? Or maybe she was simply interested in exhibitionist sex. Whichever. _My body didn't care anymore, as long as she was in my bed and underneath me within the hour.

"What are you trying to do to me?" I whispered to her, trying to make my voice stern but unfortunately it came out sounding seductive instead. Which, of course, only encouraged her hand's exploration on my thigh.

"Do you like it?" she asked, her low voice so close to my ear I felt rather than heard her question. Her hand dipped down and her thumb gently brushed my inner thigh. I could barely even think as the top of my head nearly exploded due to excessive sexual tension.

There was no way I could let this continue. I'd been turning down Bella's more than blatant suggestions only because my mind and my heart told me that I wanted her to know that this was about more than just lust.

But right now, the lust and the affection I had for Bella were swirling inside of me so hard that I couldn't pull them apart anymore. All I knew was that I had to have her. Fuck everything and everybody else.

"God, Bella," I groaned as quietly as I could, "let's ditch these losers and get out of here _now._"

It wasn't even a question. I couldn't bear to make it one because I was terrified she'd turn me down. Not that she seemed adverse to a little private time. Still, I wouldn't rest completely easy until we were totally alone and she was screaming my name.

"Yes," she hissed, letting her hand drift even further up until I was about two fingertips away from committing a public felony.

Roughly grabbing her hand, I raised it to my face and placed a passionate open-mouthed kiss on her palm. "Let me take care of the rest of this," I told her with definite sense of urgency in my voice. The minutes until the hour was up were ticking down way too rapidly and my self-control was cracking.

But before I could even reach the waiter, Rosalie was there, and she was discreetly pressing cash into the waiter's hand to my surprise. Emmett was kind of gawking and who could really blame him? Rose was probably the most aggressive female he'd ever noticed, and from his expression tonight, he was more than noticing. I mentally applauded then turned my attention back to the incredibly captivating creature next to me.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked, leaning down close so I could nip a bit at her ear under the pretense of simply being heard in a noisy environment.

"You know it." Bella's eyes flashed mischievously.

Alice and Jasper still hadn't returned, but I figured we'd meet up with them outside.

Letting Rose and Emmett go down the stairs ahead of us, I took the opportunity to trace the beautiful curves of Bella's lower back. I couldn't wait until I could touch the silky smooth skin that hid under her clothes.

Inside, I was jumping up and down like a giddy school boy. Or girl. I could almost feel my inner Miley Cyrus stretching awake.

_Down, Miley, down_, I ordered her. I wanted only to focus on the woman in front of me.

A blast of cool air hit us as Emmett opened the door and we walked outside.

"Alice?" Rosalie asked questioningly, and when I moved slightly to the side so I could see better what she'd observed my jaw dropped.

Alice was pressed up against the wall by my _brother _who was nearly eating her alive.

I moved a little to get a better angle and decided that they were eating _each other_ alive.

Apparently even Rosalie's rather loud tone hadn't clued either of them off to our presence.

Beside me, Bella had stiffened momentarily, then softened, a huge smile playing over her face. Glancing at Rosalie, she too, looked relieved, as if a big load had been lifted off her shoulders.

Honestly, I hadn't even been sure that Jasper was really interested in Alice. I'd always kind of felt that he carried a torch for her, but not until this moment did I truly believe it.

I guess when Jasper really wanted something, he proved his point in a big way, because there was no way I'd ever doubt the strength of his feelings based on this display.

Emmett cleared his throat loudly, and since nobody on earth was louder than Emmett, their heads jerked up, lips finally separating. When Jasper finally stepped away from Alice, her embarrassment was evident in her bright red cheeks. He couldn't even meet our eyes.

Part of me wondered how they'd ended up in that situation in the first place if they were both so damn shy. I wanted to yell at them that their mutual lust was nothing to be embarrassed of. After all, the lust I felt for Bella was clearly tenting my jeans and I'd long since lost my sense of shame. I wanted her and I kind of wanted everyone to know it, because as long as they did they'd know she was _mine_.

Nobody knew what to say, as there was this long and drawn out uncomfortable silence. Really, I just wanted to snatch Bella's hand and drag her to my car so we could get away from all these _people_. People who could turn us in for indecent exposure.

And really, I pondered, what was stopping me? Clearly, Bella herself had acclimated to the idea of some nice long alone time. Rosalie had a car. Emmett had Rosalie, in whatever capacity they'd reached, and Alice had Jasper—and their roles were even more clearly defined.

Silence was still falling around us, and I decided in that split second to take action and to take what I wanted. I was too far gone to worry about propriety or manners or anything but getting my woman back to the car and going all caveman on her ass.

My hand crept down her back to that same fine ass, and I smiled. And before she could even anticipate it happening, I grabbed her hand and took off running, pulling her after me.

Nobody even spoke or attempted to follow us at first, though when I glanced back, I could see their eyes tracing our movements in shock. _Good, _I thought with satisfaction. _We're going to be alone soon. Now let's just hope that Jasper decides to take Alice somewhere else to finish what he started against that wall._

Our feet pounded on the pavement, and I didn't hear Bella's whimper for a good minute. I didn't know why we were still running at that point, since we'd left the group behind a good three blocks ago, and I stopped, gasping for breath, to find out why she'd made that adorably painful noise.

Bella bent over, her breath whooshing in and out and her hair creating a beautiful brown curtain that meant I couldn't see her face and diagnose what the problem was.

"You okay?" I asked, lifting a strand of that gorgeously silken hair and peering inside the cave she'd made for herself.

"I'm fine," she laughed, a bit out of breath still, "but I think you're totally nuts."

Finally she straightened up, and as she shifted her weight from one foot to another, I noticed a wince flash across her face.

"Did you hurt yourself?" I asked with concern, immediately at her side. I grabbed her elbow and forced at least part of her weight off her feet. Didn't matter that I didn't know which foot hurt—I was going to do something regardless. I hated the thought that Bella might be in pain, and that the pain could possibly be _my _fault.

"No," she laughed again, and pushed me away with a smile. "Not at all. Though these stupid boots of Alice's are too small and keep pinching my toes."

"Can you walk?" I selfishly prayed the answer to that question was no. I wanted to be the world's most considerate gentleman and carry her the rest of the distance to the car.

Of course, I knew there was little to zero chance of her ever letting me do that on a public street. Maybe if she broke an ankle or something—but I could hardly wish a broken bone on Bella just because I wanted to cart her around like a modern day Heathcliff.

"Of course," she said, and if I wasn't mistaken she looked at me a bit strangely. Ruh roh. She was beginning to divine that I had less than honorable ideas about her in my arms.

_And me carrying her is just the beginning,_ I thought, inwardly rubbing my hands together with glee.

"You ready to keep going?" I questioned her solicitously. She couldn't know I was going to ravish her very bones until we were all alone and she'd been seduced. No matter that she was now stepping closer to me and running her fingertips along my arms most seductively herself.

Who was I kidding? I was the one being seduced here. My self-control had been literally shredded into pieces by the brown-eyed witch in front of me.

"Yes," she murmured, so quietly I could barely hear her, "but not until I do this."

She took one step closer and kissed me so passionately I staggered backwards. In my surprise, I was barely able to keep up with her as she aggressively slipped her tongue inside my mouth and proceeded to kiss the crap out of me.

A good minute later we staggered apart, breathing harder than we had after running three blocks.

"That," I gasped, "needs to not happen if we're ever going to make it to the car."

"Oh really?" Bella asked with a false innocence that sent even more blood rushing to my cock. She stepped toward me, and I held one hand out.

"For the love of God, please. If we get started again, I'm going to take you right here," I nearly begged.

"So?" Bella raised one eyebrow questioningly.

God was it even a surprise that I was crazy about this woman when she said things like that to me?

I closed my eyes in supplication. "I am going to jump on you in approximately thirty seconds and I can guarantee that nothing, including a full SWAT team and the possibility of spending the next two days in jail, is going to stop me. So you better get a head start."

Flashing me a playful smile, she took off running again, and I followed her—well, okay, I followed her incredible ass in those tight jeans.

I caught up to her easily—she couldn't run that fast in those ridiculous boots that I wanted to strip off her—and grabbing her hand, I led her to the car.

In a jumble of arms and legs, we fell inside my Volvo, and immediately she was on me again.

"I'm sorry," she gasped between long, deep kisses, "I just can't get enough of you."

"Believe me," I groaned into her warm, tasty mouth, "the feeling is mutual."

I let myself sink into her gloriousness for about thirty more seconds, my hands tracing the smooth curves of her waist and creeping down to grab her butt.

She giggled as my fingertips dug into the flesh there, and I kissed her even harder. There was something hard-wired in my brain that made me want this woman more than anything else on earth.

Finally, I forced myself—and I almost couldn't do it—to pull away from her lips for long enough to tell her: "We need to stop."

Bella's beautiful, full mouth turned down into the most adorable pout, and I was nearly putty in her hands—_nearly_, _but not completely._

I wanted her too much to give in to her because I wasn't going to take her for the first time in the Volvo, though the backseat held definite possibilities for the future.

"No," I gasped again. "Home. Bed." Apparently I'd left the ability to form sentences back with my self-control.

"Fine." Bella fell back into her seat, and crossed her arms over her chest. I wanted to bellow that she better never cover up her breasts again, as long as we both shall live, but I refrained.

If we stopped talking, we might make it home in one piece.

I started the car and managed to navigate out of the parking garage without letting my trembling hands (and when had a girl ever made my hands tremble?) affect me too adversely.

Hoping my hands would stop shaking, I decided to turn some music on to try to calm myself down. Bella had me wound so tight I thought I might have a stroke.

Unfortunately, the song that popped up on random was not one that would help calm me down. In fact, it was just about the opposite.

I heard the opening drum beats and I wanted to groan in frustration and beat my head repeatedly on the dashboard. Unfortunately I was driving and that's a no-no.

"Ooooh," Bella piped up and I wanted to roll my eyes. Of course there was no way she was going to stay silent with this song playing.

I reached over to move onto the next song, but Bella slapped my hand away and I glared at her.

"I don't think you understand," I nearly pleaded at this point. "Every guy has a sex song—a song that automatically makes him want to get it on, and this is mine. We keep listening and I'm going to pull over."

Clearly, this information was not having the desired effect on Bella that I wished it was. Instead, she was smiling rather slyly and looking ready to defend the iPod as if it was the final frontier and she was masquerading as Captain Kirk.

"Bella," I warned again, with a tight and controlled voice. I wanted to fuck her like an animal. I wanted to take her over and over again—and I knew that would bring me closer to God.

"I thought music was supposed to be calming," she teased, glancing in my direction and the lustful expression on her beautiful face nearly undid me. I felt myself break into a cold sweat as my self-control neared dangerously low levels.

"It is," I growled at her. "And if the 'random' song had been Debussy or fuck, even Rachmaninoff. Or Muse. Or Blink. I could have made it. But not fucking 'Closer" by Nine Inch Nails. That's a control-destroying song." _Never mind it was like six fucking minutes long. I didn't think there was any way I could possibly last another three minutes with it playing. _My cock was twitching to the hardcore drum beats and I could feel rather than hear the throbbing. I wanted to sink into Bella and never come up for air.

Naturally the car in front of us was going slow as shit. I was almost relieved because if that car hadn't existed, I would have been breaking every rule of the road simultaneously in my need to get home _now_.

"Does that mean when it's over we should listen to it again?" Bella asked, the innocent tone returning to her voice. That was almost more of a turn-on that her seductive voice because I knew she was anything but prudish.

"Fuck no," I nearly yelled. "Definitely not." I slammed on the brakes as I realized I was following a little too close to the car in front of me again. Tailgating when my attention span was about zero was bad news all around. If we got into an accident, we'd have to wait like three times as long to have sex and that was absolutely unacceptable.

"Are you sure?" Bella let her hand waver just a bit too close to the iPod and I tightened my grip on the steering wheel. I knew that her repeating the song wasn't a matter of if but when.

Finally, she did it as the song drew to a close, and I closed my eyes in supplication as we waited for yet another interminable, cock-blocking red light to change to green.

"Bella," I whispered. "You need to _stop now_." And that's when I felt her hand on my leg. I opened my eyes and felt her grip close over my diamond-hard length. I could probably perform as a human drill at this point.

"I meant it," I said again, more frantically. Pleasure was spiking through my system and the shakes were definitely back. The light _finally _turned green, and as suddenly as I'd decided to drag Bella away, I whipped the wheel around and pulled into a dark side street.

As soon as I flipped the lights and the key in the ignition, we met in a sudden clash of lips and tongues and hands over the gear shift of the Volvo.

Bella was panting into my mouth with need, and I pulled her with all the strength I had over the gear shift and halfway into my lap. There were legs and arms jumbled everywhere and I didn't think that either of us was probably very comfortable but we didn't notice. At least I didn't, and from the amazing breathy moans Bella was making, I didn't think she cared either.

_Screw foreplay, _I thought, as I saw rather than directed my hand to move up to Bella's jean-covered crotch. As I rubbed her, she arched into my hand, and her moans grew even louder.

With my other hand, I managed to work my way halfway up her shirt but gave up as I kept meeting the resistance of the belt or tie she had around her waist.

"God damn it," I breathed into her neck, as I explored as much of her skin as I could, tracing patterns on the silkiness of her stomach.

"I want you," Bella groaned, as I rubbed her harder through her jeans. "I want to take my clothes off. Will you help me?"

Her words catapulted me back into the reality of the situation. We were in a dark side street, in my car, about three minutes away from actual penetration, and while said penetration was a single track thought in my head, I knew I'd regret it if we did it here. I _had _to get us home. Now.

"Bella," I sighed, pulling away from her, and hating myself for the need to utter this. "We shouldn't do this here."

Her eyes grew wide and her hands floundered as she tried to pull me back towards her.

"What are you saying?" she asked, her eyes glazed with lust and arousal. I couldn't blame her for being confused. Hell, there was so much blood in my cock right now it was amazing I could put words together to form a sentence.

"We should go home," I told her, touching her forehead to mine as I closed my eyes. "It will be better that way."

Bella sighed, and I knew she saw I was right. Gingerly, she climbed back off me, over the gear shift, and back to seat. Reluctantly buckling her seat belt she looked up at me.

"Then get us home. Now."

She didn't have to say anything else. I tried to adjust my painfully hard cock in my pants, gave up after about two seconds, gunned the engine, flipped the lights back on, and took off down the street like a bat out of hell.

Five uncomfortable minutes later, we finally pulled up into the driveway of our house. All the lights were off and I breathed a silent sigh of relief that Jasper and Emmett had been smart enough not to come home.

I shot out of the door, and Bella followed me. We met in another passionate embrace at the bottom of the stairs. Clearly, the fire between us had only been put out momentarily—or not at all. After all, I'd spent the whole intervening five minutes thinking of all the things I couldn't wait to do with Bella as soon as we had a bed or hell, even a floor.

Our bodies fit together like they were made for each other, and as I kissed her, I tried to somehow convey to Bella that this was about more than sex—that I cared about her. But I had no idea if it was successful, and I guessed probably not, because soon I was dragging her up the stairs, kissing her every other step, molding her breasts with my hands, and generally making her squirm in my grasp.

_All part of the plan, _I thought to myself with pride. _You're going to make her feel so good she's never going to want anyone else._

I fumbled my keys, nearly dropping them on the ground twice, as Bella draped herself around me, kissing my neck and my ear and anywhere else she could reach, as her hand descended pretty determinedly down my torso towards my pants. Before I could even manage, with decidedly shaky hands, to get the key in the fucking hole, she had my belt undone. Damn, she was fast _and _efficient. I was half in love with her already.

Oh shit. Look what you've done now, I yelled at myself.

My hands stilled on Bella's flesh as I processed what I'd just realized. _No. You're not. That was just a . . . a . . .a momentary thing. Nothing more._

Bella looked at me questioningly and there was just a bit of hurt in her eyes. That was all it took to undo me and make me realize I never wanted to put that there again.

I forced my mind back to the plan of action, and brushed the underside of her breast with my fingertips.

"Let's go inside," I breathed into her ear.

She simply nodded in agreement and sagged against me.

I shoved the door open with my hip and we made it about two steps into the foyer until I had her against the wall, my tongue in her mouth.

Bella made easy work of the button and zipper on my jeans and pulled them down. Her hands immediately went to my cock and the slight chill of her skin, even through the fabric of my boxers, felt like heaven against my overheated body.

"Edward," she groaned as my hands untied the sash keeping so much skin from my questing fingers, "I want you so badly."

"Me too. Trust me. Me too." My voice ended in a hiss as she found the slit cut into the middle of my boxers and grasped me with her bare hand. Nothing could have ever prepared me for how good her bare skin would feel. Then she moved her hand and I knew that if I didn't put a stop to that immediately, this would be over before it even began.

"Bella," I said coaxingly, "let's go to my room." I had to distract her before I completely embarrassed myself.

She pouted a bit, but she did let me take her hand and guide her into the living room. A soon as we got there, though, that was where her acquiescence ended.

Without a warning, she pushed me back against one of the living room walls and kissed me with such lust that I forgot where I was and the plan completely. I had to have her now. There was no such thing as waiting. No such thing as foreplay.

I was going to die if I wasn't inside of her within five seconds.

I pulled up on her shirt and she lifted her arms obligingly, letting it slip off. I cupped her breasts and my thumbs rubbed her nipples as her hands went toward my cock again. This time, I didn't think I could possibly stop her. There was just too much need pulsing between us to even think about stopping.

And that was even before she sank to her knees in front of me and I felt her hot breath against my boxers. I closed my eyes and the back of my head hit the wall. _Lord, Bella was pretty damn amazing._

She started to pull my boxers down and I told myself, _thirty seconds. You let her do what she wants for thirty seconds and then you can finally be where you've been wanting to go for two freaking weeks._

But before I could feel those gorgeous lips around my cock, I heard a key in the lock on the door. Bella must have heard it too because she scrambled to her feet, grasping for anything to use to cover herself. For a split second, I almost handed her the boxers around my feet but I decided I wasn't that self-sacrificing. Hurriedly I yanked them up and grabbed Bella's arm as she looked at me frantically. We'd taken about two steps toward the hallway and my bedroom when the front door opened and in walked Jasper. . .with Alice.

_Damn, could this get any more awkward?_

There was just enough light in the living room that Jasper, then Alice, who was a step behind him, saw us immediately. They both froze in their tracks, and I knew that both Bella and I were wearing deer in the headlight expressions like they'd been made for us.

"Uh," Jasper stammered, and I wanted to die. This was not the way I had envisioned Bella and I getting freaky at all. Getting caught nearly in the act by my brother pretty much qualified as a total disaster.

Alice's jaw was halfway to the floor, and I could almost feel Bella reddening in embarrassment next to me.

"We'll go out . . .again," Jasper finished lamely, but he spun around and headed back towards the front door. Thank god, at least they were leaving. We'd at least get some privacy to try to get this back on track.

Alice stayed just a hair longer than Jasper, but she looked Bella straight in the eyes and then turned to follow him back out the door.

As soon as the door clicked shut and I heard the key turn in the lock, I sagged against the wall.

"Oh my god," Bella screeched a little, "that was horrible."

What else was there for me to say? This whole thing was definitely not my finest moment. I only wished that it hadn't been our _first _moment.

"Do you still want to go to the bedroom?" I asked gently, taking a hand and holding up her chin gently so that I could see directly into her eyes. I hoped she could sense that I wasn't just being an insensitive jerk and begging for her to still have sex with me. I just wanted to know if she still wanted to stick around here after that hideous incident.

"Yes," she whispered, and tucked herself into my arms. "Yes, I want to stay."

I blew out the breath I didn't know I was even holding. She'd understood.

"Good," I whispered back, letting my chin balance on the top of her head. We stayed there, wrapped in each other, for a good moment, until I felt myself begin to recover from the humiliating incident of earlier. The nasty boogey-man was gone, and Little Eddie had decided that it was safe to come back out and play.

Bella could probably feel me growing harder, and she shifted against me sinuously, letting me know exactly where she stood in this latest development.

Taking a step back, and a breather of a sort, I decided, had only helped the situation. I felt much more in control now and like I could actually do this like I'd planned all along. There would be no rushing, no urge to get this over as fast as possible. I just wanted to savor Bella.

"Come on," I murmured to her, and intertwined my fingers with hers as we walked down the hallway to my room. I led her over the edge of my big king bed, and she sat down, her eyes never leaving mine.

"Do you really want this?" I asked. I hated the thought of her saying no, but if we got started, I knew there was no way I was going to ask, and I never wanted to do anything she wasn't ready for.

"Yes." Her voice was firm and sure and she reached out her arm towards me. "Come to bed, Edward."

When she said it like that, in her soft, lovely voice, with all this feeling behind it, there was no way I could possibly even think about arguing with her.

Kicking my shoes and socks off, I watched as she leaned down and unzipped those incredibly hot boots she was wearing. We crawled up on the bed and I wrapped my arms around her and as gracefully as I could, pulled her on top of me, hoping that she'd like that.

I should never have doubted. Bella took to the position like she was made for it, grinding down on my once-again hard cock so well that I felt my eyes roll back in my head. I wrapped one hand around her upper arm and dragged her upper body closer to mine. Taking advantage of the way her back dipped closer to me, I smoothed a hand up skin that had the texture of heavy cream and found the bra clasp waiting invitingly.

In that moment, though I was a bit ashamed of my past experience, I _was _glad that I'd long ago learned how to open a bra one-handed. Flicking my wrist I had it open in a second and she giggled a little as she kissed me.

"What?" I teased her playfully, stripping her bra off, and tweaking one nipple as I did it, "you like that?"

She nodded, trying to be solemn, but the upturned corner of her mouth gave it completely away.

"Fine," I said, tensing my muscles and switching our positions. The smile in her eyes died, to be replaced by such lust that it almost took my breath away. Lust like that _for me._

I captured her mouth with mine and used one hand to strip off my own shirt, gasping a little inwardly as our torsos met, skin to skin, for the first time. Nothing had ever felt so good, though I had a feeling that this process was going to include a lot of those "firsts."

I kissed my way down her neck, loving the way she felt under me, and loving the little breathless moans she kept making as I traced the line of her neck with my tongue.

"Edward," she gasped, as I found a particularly sensitive area on her collarbone, "I really want you."

"And I want you," I replied, never taking my attention from her incredible skin. I didn't think I could tear my gaze away even if I wanted to.

"You don't understand. This is all. . ." she gestured around, "kind of unnecessary."

"Unnecessary?" I asked, the word taking on a twinge of disbelief.

"Here," Bella said, a bit impatiently, tucking her hands between our bodies for a second, and I was lost until I realized she was unbuttoning her jeans.

"But I wanted to do that," I whined.

"You can. Later," she smiled up at me. "Here," she continued, grabbing my hand and dragging it into her pants. Not that she ever needed to force me. Jesus. "Feel."

She placed my hand right against her core, and in that second, I nearly swore a blue streak. She was so wet she'd soaked right through her silky panties. A fire ignited in me, and I almost growled in pleasure.

"Okay," I said, a little harshly, because I wasn't sure I could even really breathe anymore, "you want it, you've got it."

She laughed, a pure clean sound, but so sexual that if I'd been standing up, she'd have brought me to my knees.

I grabbed her panties and her jeans and ripped them both off with one swift movement. Then, Bella, _my _Bella, was lying naked on my bed, looking like she belonged there. _Because_, I thought simply, _she did_.

Then my head fuzzed over with lust, and I could barely think as she wrapped her long bare legs around my torso and kissed me hard, rubbing her wet slit against my hard cock.

"Okay," I ground out, "you win." I stripped my boxers off, said a single prayer for that birth control patch I'd found, and sank an inch inside of her.

There was a loud groan in the air, and I wasn't sure if it was hers or mine, but it didn't matter because she felt so damn fuck good that I knew I was going to sink into her and never want to leave.

I pushed in a little farther and she was so wet and tight and hot and eager that I nearly came right then. Taking a deep breath, I tried to hold her steady, but she kept wiggling out of my control, trying to work me even deeper.

Finally, I gave up, and slammed into her, and I knew then that the first loud groan must have been mine because I let another out then and a single thought echoed through my mind: "mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, _mine._"

I tried moving slowly but like before, Bella was having none of it, her head tossing from side to side, her eyes squeezed tight in pleasure. "Edward," she begged, "harder. _Please._"

Like I could even say no to that. So I slammed into her so hard I saw stars and she screamed my name in the best way I'd ever heard.

Like I'd thought it would be, it was over fast, but I worked one hand between us for the last thirty seconds so I could rub her clit. I barely touched it and she exploded and that was it for me. A few more hard thrusts and I felt like my insides were being sucked out of me.

I collapsed on top of her, and wasn't surprised at all to realize she was laughing. Bella was like no girl I'd ever met, and I was never going to let her go.

* * *

JPOV

This was possibly one of the worst days of my life.

It was only the second worst because the first worst was easily the day Rosalie caught Emmett kissing Lauren Mallory in Robert's classroom and Alice and I were separated before we ever had a chance.

Now the only one separating us was me. I kept insisting to myself that it _had _to be this way. I knew, as deep down as you could go, that this was the right thing to do. I'd reasoned it all out in my mind.

But every time I saw her, it was almost as if every ounce of logic flew out the window and all I had was this pounding, fierce desire to have her. It was insane and crazy and ludicrous, and I knew I was breaking my heart. I swore I could hear the cracks in my own as I told her that we should only be friends.

When Edward had told me that we were all going to dinner, I'd considered for about five seconds the possibility that maybe Alice wouldn't come. As I'd walked out the door, she had not looked good, and it had killed me inside to leave her. In fact, I'd hoped she wouldn't come.

But of course, she had, and she'd been so beautiful and funny, and completely Alice that the part of me that liked to fuck with my logic had taken over and flirted with her, followed her, and then had done the most unacceptable thing of all: kissed her.

I sat at the bar that we'd escaped to after seeing way too much of Edward and Bella, and lifted a finger in the direction of the bartender to fill my glass with another few fingers of Grey Goose.

I felt rather than heard Alice climb back on her barstool but I didn't have the energy or the inclination to look her way. I felt like I'd spent the whole day stabbing myself and I couldn't wait for it to end. Maybe that was why I was doing my best to simply drown the pain.

"Would you like anything?" the bartender asked Alice, who up until this point had stuck with some snooty white wine. I glanced over and saw she had finished her second glass.

"Let's have another," I told the bartender before Alice could reply.

He poured her another glass and disappeared. I knew as soon as he left, I was going to get a lecture, and bingo, the moment his back was turned she twisted in her barstool toward me.

"What if I didn't want that?"

"You did," I said. "Trust me; it's that kind of night. We just walked in my brother and your best friend nearly having sex in my living room."

Alice sighed. "That has nothing to do with why it's that kind of night or why you're drinking vodka neat."

She was right—she was so right, just like she always was.

Earlier this afternoon I could see in her eyes that she'd thought I was lying to her. It was hard to know why I'd felt like I was lying too when I'd been so sure before that I was going to tell her the truth.

I ran my hands through my hair and wished that I'd managed to forget with all the Goose I'd managed to ingest. Forget her face; forget her broken voice when I'd told her that everything had been a mistake.

Part of me thought that everything was a mistake—and part of me had never felt so right as when hers lips were pressed on mine.

I gulped down the Goose in my glass, hoping that maybe the alcohol would perhaps help erase the memory I had of us kissing, of how right it had felt.

"You're right," I said bleakly. "Alice. . ."

She must have recognized the tone of my voice because she immediately slid off the booth and threw a bill on the bar.

"No," she said, her voice too hard to be Alice's, "no, you are not going to do this again."

"Do what?" Except we both knew what I was going to do and I hated myself so much in this moment that I wanted to slam my head into the hardwood bar and just end it all because I was such a bastard.

She'd turned to go and her head whipped back so her eyes could meet mine. Such a clear, beautiful gray. I never wanted to look away. And maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should be selfish and have her while I could—until she discovered that I was a total asshole and that I was using her. But until that point, I could enjoy her.

And god, I wanted to. Okay, so I was going to be a selfish bastard. I'd never been one before, but at this moment I didn't care. I wanted her too much to care.

"Alice," I said, as I stood. I flipped an identical bill on the bar, and held one hand out to her.

She looked at it hesitantly and I knew she didn't know if she could trust me. Hell, I didn't know if she could either, but suddenly it was intolerable that she thought she couldn't.

"Alice," I begged, "please. I'm sorry."

Her eyes lifted to mine and I saw the sheen of tears there. _I _had put those tears there, and _I _needed to fix it.

"Please," I said again, and this time her hand hesitantly moved towards mine.

"Okay," she told me in a small voice, but even through the Goose, I couldn't ignore the hope there and that hope made my heart expand infinitesimally.

We walked towards the door, and I was glad that I hadn't drunk too much because I wanted to talk to her, be with her, and be a selfish asshole.

The door closed behind us, I let my fingers slip through hers, and I pulled her close to me. "Forgive me?" I asked and she only nodded, her face radiant with happiness.

And as I asked for Alice's forgiveness, I wondered if I'd ever be able to forgive myself.


	22. Chapter 22

**AN: **Another day, another chapter. Thanks again to my betas, CallistoLexx (who has a great story, **Blame it on the Cuervo**) and Tamelaine. Also, to the Twinster, for just being herself. You know you complete me.

"Everlong" by the Foo Fighters is the song in the first part of the chapter. PLEASE go listen to it. You will NOT regret it. Songs are up on my profile, as always.

Now, I hate to do this because I generally despise people who beg for reviews, but guys, seriously. I have SO many author alerts and story alerts, and a kind of pathetic number of reviews lately. I pour my heart into these chapters and I honestly just want to know what you think. So I'm not going to threaten you or anything, but yeah, I am begging a little.

* * *

RPOV

I climbed out of my car and looked up at Emmett's big _empty _white house with more than a little trepidation.

Emmett had called me early yesterday morning before I could even get into school, an overwhelming excitement leaking into his voice. He hadn't even been able to wait to see me to let me know the good news. He'd managed to get out of an upcoming family camping trip and would be staying alone at the house.

I'd immediately known what that meant. We'd been together for a tumultuous yet incredibly exciting six weeks, and this was our first real opportunity to be alone together. I would have to be stupid not to know what that meant.

Not that Emmett had ever pushed me—in fact, I felt like maybe I was the one pushing him during some of our rather steamy makeout sessions in his Jeep or my R32. More than once I'd tried to take things to the next level but he'd always stopped me, saying that he respected me too much to take me in a "subpar performance in the back of a car."

While I'd appreciated his concern about showing me a good time, I just wanted to throw his fine ass onto the hood and make him eat his words because I knew that anything that happened between us couldn't be bad.

We were so good together and I was beginning to wonder, even with my persuasive tactics, how Emmett had been holding out because I was so on the cusp of totally losing control. I'd had no idea before now what lust was really like. Now I knew; and I was dying to find out even more.

_And tonight's the night_, I thought as I opened the passenger door and took out my small overnight bag.

I couldn't deny that now that the moment was finally here, I was feeling more than a little nervous. I'd been expecting the actual act itself to happen more spontaneously and the idea of planning for it instead caused a herd of crazed butterflies to start flapping in my stomach.

I looked up again towards the house and saw Emmett looking down at me from a top floor window, beaming with happiness and I couldn't help but beam back.

_Shit, I was so far gone._

I walked up the driveway to the front door, and surprisingly when I opened the screen door to knock, Emmett was already there, nearly bouncing on his feet with excitement. With any other guy I would have believed that it was because he was about to get laid—but I already knew better with Emmett. Fuck it, he was probably more excited about having me here to work on his cars with him, uninterrupted, than the possibility that we might have sex.

_What the fuck was I talking about? Of course we were going to have sex._

"Rosie," he murmured in the sweetest voice, pulling me close to him so quickly that I barely had time to drop my purse and bag before he started kissing me long and hard and deep. His hands snaked through my hair, because, like always when we were together, I wore it down at his request. Turned out he had a serious thing for blond hair. Especially when it was mine.

"Hey you," I said, slightly pulling away from his lips, and giving him the opportunity to lick and suck his way down the side of my neck.

"Emmett!" I exclaimed, trying to move away from him so we could talk before he proceeded to turn every bone in my body into mush.

"What is it?" he asked, lifting his head so his eyes could meet mine directly. "Can't I kiss you?" His voice was whiny and petulant like a little boy's and I was so far gone that I even thought it was cute.

"Oh, you can. Just not at this second."

Emmett stuck out his bottom lip and pouted just enough that I wanted to kiss it all better, which totally went against the purpose.

I'd tried to talk myself into informing Emmett about my virginal status ever since the phone call yesterday morning. On the drive over here, I'd given myself an enormously unsuccessful pep talk. Unsuccessful because now that I was faced with a moment where I could tell him face-to-face, I, Rosalie Hale herself, was chickening out.

_I was so incredibly lame. Unbelievably lame. Was I scared that he'd not want me if he found out?_

Honestly, I wasn't sure. After all, he'd stopped us from having sex before in his car because he wanted to make it good. Emmett was clearly a caring person—but would those same feelings jeopardize us finally sealing the deal tonight? I didn't want them to.

"Rosie?" Emmett asked, a questioning note in his voice at my reluctance to tell him what was on my mind.

_Chicken shit, chicken shit, chicken shit . . ._

"Nothing," I told him brightly, grabbing him by the shirt front and dragging him close to me and I kissed him. The second his lips touched mine I knew I'd already made my decision. I wasn't going to tell him.

Of course, not telling him meant that we had to do this sooner rather than later, before I totally lost my nerve.

I attacked Emmett's mouth with mine, and we'd been together long enough for me to know what his typical response was when I was aggressive; he loved it and he wanted more.

Before I could even grasp what was happening, in between wild, completely out of control kisses Emmett was slowly pulling me towards the staircase.

He wanted to go upstairs. Perfect. I redoubled my efforts, our tongues moving in perfect tandem, until Emmett finally pulled away.

"Rose," he gasped for breath, "you're going to kill me."

"And wouldn't you die a happy man," I told him rather smugly, letting my hands slide up his shirt to caress his incredible abs. I wanted him naked and on top of me, before I stopped to consider that sleeping with him was like running across a slowly dismantling bridge—there was no way back.

"You know I would," he moaned into my shoulder, his hands dragging me even closer and molding my body to his. "Let's go upstairs," he finally murmured in my ear.

_Perfect. The magic words._

I nodded, and I tried to take a steady breath as we climbed the stairs, except I felt like I'd been running a marathon and all I could manage were unsteady, shallow gasps.

Finally, we came to Emmett's bedroom. I'd been in here before, but never for more than a few minutes at a time. When we were at Emmett's, we were almost always in the garage, working on the cars. Or in the kitchen, letting Esme feed us.

The moment we were inside the bedroom, Emmett grabbed me close again, like he couldn't bear to let me go, and I knew the feeling was mutual. I held onto him like he was my lifeline as we stumbled toward the big bed. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to focus on the pleasure surging through me at Emmett's kisses—not on the fear that was threatening to cut off my oxygen supply.

My knees hit the bed and I fell back, my hair flying around me. Emmett leaned over me, smoothing it back from my face. "You're so beautiful," he whispered and his heart was in his eyes as he gazed at me. A lump formed in my throat and I recited to myself the reasons that I wasn't telling him.

I smiled waveringly, and I hoped he missed the tremble of my hand as I reached up to pull him down towards me.

"No," he said, beginning to turn away. "Let me do something first."

"What?" I asked, praying that he wasn't changing his mind. We had to do this _now _before I chickened out completely. And I never wanted him to see the part of me that was scared and weak—he loved the strong, relentless, resilient Rosalie. I _had _to be that right now.

He didn't answer, but went over to his CD player, turned it on, and inserted a CD he'd picked out of his huge selection. I was too far away to see what it was, but the moment the song started, my eyes threatened to fill with tears again. This was why I loved this man. He was incredibly thoughtful and thorough in his love for me.

_Hello, I've waited here for you. . .everlong. . . ._

Pulling his shirt over his head, Emmett stalked back towards the bed, smiling mischievously at me. "Now where were we?" he teasingly asked, as I scooted back and he covered me with his body, dark blue eyes meeting mine.

"Right here," I told him as I pulled him down towards me, this time more successfully. His lips met mine, and our kiss was long and deep.

_Tonight, I throw myself into and out of the red, out her head she sang. . ._

I heard shoes hitting the floor, and Emmett's hand caressed the soft skin of my stomach, before traveling upwards to cup the weight of one breast in his hand. I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and pulled it upwards, taking no chances and refusing to let the butterflies in my stomach take over.

_Come down, and waste away with me, down with me . . _

My hands ran up and down his back, and pleasure shot through me as Emmett gently tweaked one nipple, then the other, through the fabric of my bra. I moaned into his mouth and finally he slipped a hand under my back to release the clasp.

When my bra was finally off, he pulled up a little and gazed down at my half-naked form worshipfully. "Beautiful," he murmured again, "so god damned beautiful."

_Slow . . .how you wanted it to be; I'm over my head, out of her head she sang . . ._

Then his head was back close to mine and his hands and lips were everywhere at once it seemed, as I arched into him, grinding my needy core against his hard length. "Emmett," I gasped, the nerves dissolving in the onslaught of pleasure, "please."

_And I wonder. . .when I sing along with you. . . ._

He chuckled a bit into my skin. "You are so impatient."

"Of course I am," I snapped back with a little heat, "I want you. _Now_."

"You do?" he asked. "Like this?" His hand slid down my body and began to unbutton and unzip my jeans. I wiggled out of them as fast as I could, and he laughed again at my eagerness.

If anything could ever feel this real forever; if anything could ever be this good again. . .

A groan came out of Emmett's throat as my bare legs hit his jean-covered ones. "Just a sec," he purred into my ear, "let me get out of these. I want to feel you."

"I want you to, baby," I murmured back. He shed his pants so quickly I could barely assimilate how incredibly gorgeous he looked with only a pair of navy blue cotton boxers slung low on his hips and a incredibly sexual smile lighting up his face.

The only thing I'll ever ask of you . . .

"Rosie, I'm going to treat you so good," he moaned as I rubbed my legs along his.

"Good," I cooed, "that's what I like to hear."

_You've got to promise not to stop when I say when . . .she sang. . ._

Almost in direct response to my words, he rubbed me through my silky thong and I nearly lost it. Nothing had ever felt so good, _ever_.

"Emmett!" I shrieked.

"Oh yeah, baby, I love to hear you scream my name. And it's going to happen a lot more." He pushed the underwear aside and true to his word, I moaned again, loudly. I couldn't believe that I hadn't internally combusted yet, from the way that his fingers dragged up through my slit and rubbed against the bundle of nerves that circled at the top.

Breathe out, so I can breathe you in. . .

I babbled incoherently as Emmett toyed with me until my hips were lifting off the bed in supplication.

"Please," I begged again, desperate for him.

Hold you in. . .

He groaned a little as my hips bucked upwards again.

"Rosalie," he ground out, "you need to _stop that_.

"This?" I asked innocently, as one hand reached out and wrapped itself around his hard length.

"Oh lord Jesus, _yes_," he hissed, and I knew I had him, literally, in the palm of my hand.

"Does that mean you want me?" I asked, slowly pulling the boxers down and letting my fingers run up his dick. I felt only a momentary panic at how large it was and how it was ever going to fit inside me. Almost nobody ever died from sex. This was totally possible.

_And now I know you've always been . . ._

"God, yes." His tone was desperate as I slowly twisted my hand, pumping it slightly.

"Then take me," I told him, voice not entirely steady.

I saw him hesitate for a split second, then clearly make up his mind as he reached into a drawer on his bedside table and pull out a condom. The butterflies were threatening to make another entrance, but I tamped them back down. I wanted this and I was determined that nothing was going to stop us now.

Out of your head, out of my head I sang . . .

Emmett settled back between my legs, and I fought a rising panic. All I had to do was pretend I liked it right away—he never had to know he'd taken my virginity.

The head of his cock pushed in my entrance, and he moaned and closed his eyes. _Good_, I thought, _keep your eyes closed, so you can't see that I'm grimacing in pain._

He pushed a little farther in and I was not surprised to find that though definitely tight, it wasn't totally unpleasant so far. In fact, it was almost the opposite. Then suddenly, he hit what felt like a wall, and he stilled, eyes popping open.

"Rosalie," he said in a low voice, "is there something you didn't tell me?"

I felt panic well inside of me. "I'm a virgin?" I whispered.

Emmett's head dropped onto my shoulder. "Rose, why didn't you tell me?"

I closed my eyes in guilt and rage and frustration. "I just. . .couldn't. I just wanted you to have it without you knowing."

"Look at me, Rosie," he demanded as he shifted inside of me just slightly. "I _love you._"

And I wonder. . .when I sing along with you. . .

The tears finally began to seep out of my eyelids. "I love you too, Emmett," I said so quietly he could probably barely hear me, but he did anyway, because he smiled so wide, I thought his face might crack in half.

"Okay, good, because I still want you, but I know this is going to hurt you. And I don't want you to hate me for it."

"I couldn't," I protested, but before the word was halfway out of my mouth, with one short quick thrust, Emmett broke through the barrier, and I gasped in pain.

"God, I'm sorry," Emmett murmured to me, "but it had to be done and I'm honored you let me do it."

"I wanted you to," I said again, in a small voice. It was the most precious thing I had to give—why wouldn't I have wanted it to go to him?

It was in that moment I realized that the pain had almost disappeared and I found I rather . . .liked. . .having him inside of me. In fact, I rather loved it.

If everything could ever feel this real forever . . .

"Emmett," I gasped, moving slightly, feeling him sink in a little deeper. "More."

He laughed a little and slid in, slowly, until he was in me completely. My mouth dropped open a little bit and the smile on his face wobbled a little bit, turning more and more intense by the second. "God, Rose, you're so damn hot and tight. I've got to. . ." he groaned.

He moved back a little and I moaned along with him. I'd never felt so close to him as I did in that moment and it felt so god-damned good.

If anything could ever be this good again. . .

Emmett picked up speed a little bit and within thirty seconds, with just a touch of his finger on my clit, I exploded into a million messy pieces.

"Oh god," I repeated over and over. "God, Emmett."

_The only thing I'll ever ask of you . . ._

My orgasm triggered his and he shuddered and groaned over me.

"So good," he whimpered into my shoulder.

I had to agree with him. I'd never felt anything like that—never even dreamed that anything so pleasurable could exist.

So I said the only thing that I could to thank him for what he'd given me.

You've got to promise not to stop when I say when. . .

"Emmett, I love you."

"I love you too," he said, burying his head in my hair.

_She sang. . ._

"Rosalie!" Emmett's voice snapped me back into reality. Well, not exactly reality—the memory had been reality too, in its own way, but back into the reality of our current situation.

I started the R32 and the engine purred to life. I shifted slightly in my seat, feeling the arousal that had leaked out of me during my memory.

That memory was both my most beloved and most hated I had of Emmett. Most beloved because I'd never felt so cherished and adored that night. Most hated because three days later, I'd found him with Lauren Mallory in his arms.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concern in his voice.

Not even a little. Not at all. Not even close.

"Fine. I'm fine."

Emmett sent the seat back, and stretched his long legs out. "You just seem jumpy, is all."

"And who could blame me? That was one of the weirdest dinners I've ever sat through."

"No kidding. So where are we going?"

"Let's go play some pool," I improvised. Obviously he wasn't going home—Bella and Edward's abrupt exit had painted that picture pretty clearly.

"Great idea," Emmett enthused, but all I wanted to do was go hide so he wouldn't see the remnants of bitter love lingering in my face. That I'd chosen this moment to relive that particular memory either meant I was cracked or that I'd already spent way too much time in his company lately.

It was for this reason I'd be encouraging Alice and Jasper. The faster they sealed things up between them, the less I'd have to play matchmaking older sister with Emmett. Spending time with him was wreaking havoc on my sleep and on my nerves. I needed to get away, get some time away from the memories that were plaguing me before I gave in to the feelings that were threatening to envelop me all over again.

And Emmett? He was so jovial and friendly lately, almost so completely platonic that most of the time, I felt safe indulging in his presence. But every once in a while, I'd catch him looking at me a certain way—probably much the same way I looked at him when I thought he wasn't paying attention.

This worried me, and worried me so much that I'd even called up Bella today and suggested tonight's dinner in an attempt to speed things along for Alice and Jasper. I knew I couldn't take much more. My will was buckling and I knew if it cracked all I'd get would be rejection. Emmett hadn't wanted me six years ago, and he certainly didn't want me now. End of story. _Now if I could only really believe that_.

I parked a block away from a local bar that I knew had excellent pool tables. I dug for my purse in the backseat, and went to open my door, but Emmett was surprisingly already there, gallantly opening it for me. I felt a corner of my heart melting at the endearing smile on his face and the prominent dimples in his cheeks, but I forced myself to be strong and not smile back like I wanted to.

"Thanks," I said as shortly as I thought I could get away with, but like always, Emmett had me figured out, and he smirked a little as we walked up to the bar.

"You know, I was just trying to be nice. Nothing wrong with nice."

About fifteen rude retorts scrolled through my head, but I literally bit my lip so that none of them could escape. Emmett and I were trying to be friends—there was no need for me to be so damn hostile.

_Yeah, cause you know if you're not hostile and all up in his face, you're going to be all up in his junk._

I ignored that part of my consciousness. That part of me must be a closet nymphomaniac.

After showing our IDs to the bartender, and walking into the smoky bar, I turned to Emmett. "You want to go find us a table, and I'll get some beers?"

He nodded and took off towards the pool tables, while I walked towards the bar.

There were several men, all youngish and alone, sitting on bar stools watching a baseball game on a TV behind the bar. I ignored them, but of course, blond hair and a shapely ass were like magnets for the opposite sex.

"Hi, I'm Mark," the one closest to me said, and extended his hand. "Can I buy you a drink?"

I ignored him, hoping like an annoying fly he'd eventually go away without me expending the energy of smacking him down.

The bartender approached. "Two Drop Tops," I told him, and slid a twenty across the hardwood bar.

Out of the corner of my eye, Mark was still staring at me like he'd been electrocuted. Or rather, I should specify, he was staring at my tits.

I rolled my eyes. Men were so unoriginal.

"Thanks, keep the change," I told the bartender, who smiled at me, and miracle of miracles, his eyes actually briefly met mine before descending to breast level.

I grabbed the beers and turned to find Emmett but I was trapped. There was a man right behind me—well, right in front of me now.

Not "Mark," but yet another one. I barely suppressed another eye roll.

He opened his mouth to introduce himself and I snapped at him before he even had a chance to get a word out.

"Listen. I'm not interested. I'm here with someone else. Of the male persuasion. Get over yourselves and move away please. You're seriously invading my personal space."

I put on my best bitchy face, and unsurprisingly the guy cleared out like his very life was in danger. Which it was.

"I see you didn't need any of my help," a voice I knew all too well drawled. I turned the other direction and Emmett was standing there, one hand on a muscular hip, his mouth twitching with amusement as he tried not to dissolve into laughter.

"I'm fine thanks," I snarked. After Tweedledum and Tweedledee I was in no mood for the male sex. Even if the particular member of the male sex dripped muscle and had the most gorgeous pair of blue eyes God had ever put in a face.

"Need any help with those?" Emmett asked, gesturing to the beers, keeping his temper remarkably well.

I knew I was being a bitch, and while those idiots at the bar had deserved it, Emmett didn't. Well, theoretically he did, but I was finding it difficult to dwell on that afternoon six years ago these days.

My inability was frustrating and I nearly felt like I'd betrayed myself. Emmett was supposed to be the _enemy_.

Emmett had reserved a pool table near the back and I sat and sipped my beer as he racked the balls expertly and picked a cue stick. Lazily lifting myself from the chair, I meandered over to look at what was probably an extremely poor selection of cue sticks. As I examined each choice, I grew more and more frustrated. This was why I almost never played pool out.

I felt rather than heard Emmett come up behind me. "See anything you like?"

"No," I scowled. "These are terrible."

"Well we'll both be equally bad then," he said with a trace of amusement in his voice, the air expelled out of his lungs shifting the hair above my ear.

I tried to stop the shiver that went up my spine at having him so close to me, but I couldn't do it. Inwardly, I slumped in defeat. I still wanted him, but there was no way I could trust him. This was why I needed to get away from him as fast as possible.

"I'm never bad," I argued as I finally picked one from the rack and whipped around to face him.

He looked first at the cue then at me. His eyes sparkled with hidden mischief. "With that cue, you sure as hell will be."

I lightly punched him on the shoulder and couldn't help but smile. "Bastard. But you should know I never lose."

I sidled over to the table and picked up a block of chalk and began running it over the tip of my cue.

"Neither do I, so it should be a real interesting game."

Emmett was the only guy I'd ever met who could actually meet all my challenges head on without cowering. I was going to enjoy playing him, I decided as he leaned over the table to take a quick practice strike with his stick. The angle pulled his shirt tight on his broad muscular shoulders and let me stare at his incredibly hot ass without interruption.

The trick would be to not become distracted by all of the gorgeous male on display.

And that, I thought with a toss of my blond hair, would be a cake walk because he was going to _so _be distracted first.

"Are you ready?" he asked me, and I nodded. Wordlessly, I let him break the balls beautifully, with a gorgeously powerful stroke. Straight and even, with just enough spin.

And he sank two balls, both stripes. In spite of myself, I was fairly impressed and a twinge of awe resonated in the vicinity of my heart but I steadfastly ignored it.

"Good shot," I told him, with as little enthusiasm as I could communicate.

Emmett laughed, and caught my hands in his. "You're such a bitch, Rosie. Why? You were so nice at dinner. Did I offend you?"

"No," I told him shortly, grabbing my hands back. "Sorry," I added, with a bit of a softer tone. What was I supposed to tell him? I just remembered the first time we had sex and it reminded me how much you betrayed me and how much I want to have you again all in the same instant?

_God, what was wrong with me?_

"Did you miss?" I asked solicitously, wondering why he was waiting for me to shoot.

He shrugged and I instinctively knew that he hadn't missed at all. He'd simply been playing defensively, setting up ball positions for both my shot and his subsequent turns. Bastard. I needed to get my head in this game and stop moping if I wanted to have any chance of winning.

I approached the table like it was a chess board, wishing that I'd been paying attention during his earlier shot. Finally, I found a solid I liked the look of, and I bent down, knowing Emmett was getting a clear and full view of my ass.

I let the cue stick slide smoothly through my hands, and watched with satisfaction as it hit the pocket perfectly. _Damn, I was good._

"Not bad," Emmett enthused, and I shot him a calculated look.

"Pool is all about angles and I excelled at geometry in school," I told him succinctly, though he clearly was not a pool novice.

He was behind me again, before I even realized it, and before I could bend down to take another shot, he was surrounding me, all rippling masculinity.

"You were good at other things, too, I remember," he whispered in my ear, and I could feel the heat of his breath wash over me. I shifted backwards slightly and came into direct contact with a hardened extremity that I remembered all too well. Okay, so he still wanted me. Not that this was a big surprise or anything. Every man wanted me.

I turned around and he was even closer than he'd been at the cue stick rack. So close, in fact, that the top of my head nearly touched the bottom of his chin. I cursed at myself for remembering all too well how perfectly we'd fit together, both clothed and naked.

"You remember?" I asked a little innocently.

"Rosie," he said, his voice a little rough with what I hoped was need, "I remember it all."

"Really?" I asked. I was way too breathless and interested, but fuck it all, I couldn't help myself anymore. Being with Emmett was like playing with lighter fluid and a match but I couldn't seem to remember all the reasons I didn't want to get burned again.

"Every single thing. I remember the way you looked under my cars, and under me. I remember how we'd sneak off to Roberts' classroom to make out. I remember driving to La Push with you, to look at the stars. I remember how god damned ridiculous you looked climbing down your tree. I couldn't forget even if I wanted to. It's burned into my brain." His expression was so intense, I didn't know how to read it, but if I was being honest with myself, I didn't know how to read or respond to any of that. I was drawing a complete fucking blank.

"Uh," I wavered helplessly, and his gaze drifted to my lips and I knew what was about to happen, and I felt suddenly paralyzed, as if there was nothing I could do to stop—as if fate was stepping in and lending us a much-needed hand.

But right before his lips could meet mine in that fateful kiss, I felt a buzzing in my pocket. My cell phone. I wasn't sure whether to scream in frustration or shout a hallelujah chorus. All I knew was that part of me was profoundly relieved that this, whatever it was between us that was going on, would be put off for at least another day.

I dug in my pocket and he moved away slightly. For one mad moment, I wanted to grab him and drag him back but I resisted it, barely. I heard him sigh just as I looked at the caller ID on the phone.

"It's Alice," I said apologetically, knowing that he knew I didn't have to take the call. But I knew I had to, for my own sanity.

He inclined his head, nodding that he understood. But I could see the same relief and anger warring in his eyes that was inside of me. We were in the same boat. We both hated and wanted each other.

"Alice?" I said, putting the phone to my ear.

"Rose!" she shrieked excitedly. "I have great news."

"Okay, shoot." I leaned against the pool table as I watched Emmett gulp his whole beer down in three swallows. _Not good._

"I pulled a few last minute strings and guess what I got us? All six of us?"

"I couldn't possibly have a clue."

"Foo Fighters tickets in one of my clients' special box suites at the Rose Garden. In two days!"

My stomach plummeted to the ground.

"The Foo Fighters? I didn't even realize they were coming to Portland." _Yeah, because I'd totally rejected their music in the last six years, for obvious reasons._

At the name of the band, Emmett's head shot up and his gaze locked with mine, and I knew from his expression and my own, that we were so _screwed._

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**You know you want to review and make my day. . .so DO IT!!**


	23. Chapter 23

**AN: So you guys did AWESOME with the reviews--but that doesn't mean you're safe yet. . .keep 'em coming!! Thanks to my betas, CallistoLexx and Tamelaine.**

**Check out this awesome story my friend wrote: "There Are Worse Things I Could Do" by angel4ever. On my favorites list and soon to be up on a list of links in my profile, along with all the other stories I've rec-ed.**

**Also on my profile is a link to the acoustic, live version of Everlong by the Foo Fighters.**

**Enjoy!**

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APOV

"I'm not going," Rosalie said with total determination in her voice.

"Of course you are," I told her with little to no real concern. Rose might wish she wasn't going, but she was. She was incapable of staying away from Emmett.

Just the way that I was incapable of staying away from Jasper. Or the way that Bella followed Edward with her eyes every time he was in the same room. Truly, we were a pitiful and spineless lot of females.

Bella meandered into my bedroom, her glow still firmly in place. When she'd come home late, _late, _two nights ago, we'd all guessed what had finally happened between her and Edward. While I knew that while we were both happy for her, there was a definite bittersweet pain in my heart that was clearly echoed in Rosalie's eyes.

We wanted it be _us_.

I wasn't stupid enough to think that Jasper's latest apology and attempt to make peace was permanent. I was playing with fire, and it was only a matter of time before he changed his mind yet again. I'd been trying to dredge up the courage to tell him once and for all that anything between us was done, but I was beginning to realize it was totally useless. I loved him too much to give him up; even if I knew he would only hurt me.

"You're not going?" Bella asked with a confused expression on her face.

I wondered if Rose would tell Bella why exactly she didn't want to go, and though I turned toward the closet, pretending I wasn't listening—I totally was.

Ever since Emmett and Rose had parted ways, she'd loathed the Foo Fighters. I couldn't deny that part of me had gotten the tickets because I really wanted to see her response. Would she totally chicken out? Would it prompt Rose and Em to remember their past? My bet was yes.

Music had always brought Jas and I together, and I wanted it to do the same for Rosalie and Emmett.

"No, I don't think so," Rose said,

"Why not?" Bella asked, clearly not understanding the undercurrent of what was going on. Even better. If I'd asked, Rosalie would have known there was a deeper purpose behind the question. If it was Bella, her innocence in the whole situation would totally work in our favor.

"I'm tired," Rosalie hedged, "I have a lot of work to do."

"That's ridiculous," Bella laughed. "You're totally coming with us. It's the _Foo Fighters. _Work can wait, and I've got some diet Coke in the fridge if you're tired." She crossed her arms over her chest and gave Rose a straight-up antagonistic look. _Go Bella, _I thought.

"Uh, well. . ." Rose stammered, and I knew Bella had done her job. Not that I truly believed that Rose wouldn't have gone otherwise, but still, Bella's rather innocent prodding had done the trick.

"Excellent!" Bella yelped and threw her arms around Rosalie's neck. "I'm so glad you're going."

"Oh, me too," Rose enthused sarcastically.

I tried to stifle a laugh but Rosalie clearly must have heard it because she called out, "And thanks for all the support from you too, _dear_ _sister_."

I poked my head out of the closet. "What?" I asked in mock outrage. "This is a great opportunity. You know, to . . ._network_."

Rosalie rolled her eyes and told us she was going to go change before we left.

I caught sight of Bella. "Is that what you're wearing?" I tried to ask casually.

"This?" Bella said, gesturing to her t-shirt. "Of course."

I shook my head. "A t-shirt and jeans?" I asked with a dubious voice.

She looked at me like I'd grown a few extra heads. "Alice, it's a rock concert, not tea with the Queen of England."

I didn't like her patronizing tone or her insinuation that she might know how to dress better for this occasion than me—which would be correct, though I would have died a thousand deaths rather than have her find out. My experience with music had everything to do with research and deep listening than rocking out at a concert.

"Go," I said with a teasing irritation. "I need to find something to wear and you're distracting me."

"Ok, I'll be in my room when you're ready to go."

I heard Bella leave and I turned back to my closet with a sigh. Bella was right; we were going to a rock concert. I needed to . . .loosen up a bit. Or maybe just stop stressing about what I was going to wear.

After ten minutes of flipping through my closet and muttering that every single thing was way too dressy, I finally settled on the rattiest pair of skinny jeans I owned and an old black tank top that I'd last worn while doing spring cleaning. I debated for another five minutes over a pair of black knee high boots with four inch heels before deciding on the black flip flops I wore to get the mail.

Mussing up my hair, I stared in my full length mirror and tried to decide if I looked casual enough. I knew Jasper didn't like high maintenance girls, and like a stupid infatuated teenager, I was determined to prove that I could ditch the matching couture outfits.

A little outraged voice told me that I was pretending to be someone I wasn't, and that Jasper wasn't so much turned off by my stylish clothes as intimidated by them, but I refused to listen. I wanted Jasper—that was all that mattered.

Walking out my bedroom door, I took off down the hall yelling, "Bella, Rose, let's go!"

EmPOV

I'd momentarily considered telling Jasper that I wasn't going.

God. The fucking _Foo Fighters._ It just _had _to be the Foos.

After Rosalie, I'd gone and smashed my The Color and the Shape CD into a million tiny fragments, unable to bear listening to it or myself any longer. Of course that didn't mean that I didn't have the lyrics to "Everlong," and its corresponding memory, on repeat nearly 24/7 six years later.

Going to the concert with Rose would only be a hideous reminder of the trust I'd betrayed when I'd taken her virginity then forced myself only a scant three days later to close on the bet with Lauren Mallory.

I deserved to get shoved off the nearest cliff. That, really, was the only reason I'd decided to go. Because I deserved that she look at me like the bastard I was.

I also knew I couldn't stay away. I wanted Rosalie so damn bad. She was so tantalizingly close, and every cell in my body ached for her.

I could feel both of us spiraling out of control, headed for some kind of massive explosion full of lust and confusion.

If her phone hadn't rang two nights ago, I would have had her on the pool table in under fifteen seconds. And the lust wasn't only physical—I wanted to know her again, soul-deep, like I had before. I knew I wasn't strong enough and that eventually, I'd give in, but I was convinced of my ultimate inability to deserve her. We'd eventually part ways a second time, but at least I could give her the healing ability to break it off when she realized she deserved better.

"This is it," Edward said, examining the tickets in his hand and motioning to a door in front of us. We were on the exclusive Suite level in the Rose Garden arena, and though I'd been up here a few years back for a Blazers game, I'd totally forgotten how luxurious it all was.

The carpet was so plush I felt like I was sinking and there was gold-plating everywhere. Edward opened the door to the suite and we walked into our own private oasis that looked out on the incredible arena area set up for the concert.

The girls were already there, and my eyes immediately latched onto Rosalie. Her back turned to me and she was wearing jeans and a blue t-shirt, but it didn't matter. She was always glorious to me. _Probably to every other man too_, I conceded, but when I looked at Rosie, I saw not only the beauty of her features but also the beauty of her soul.

"Rosie," I called and she turned around, smiling, more generously than I knew I deserved.

"You want a drink?" she asked rather conscientiously, especially for her. Rosalie never served anyone—she was _always _the one being served. I guessed that she was probably nervous and that this wasn't easy for her either.

"Sure," I said, "a beer would be great."

Rosalie leaned down to the mini fridge sitting next to her, and my mouth went dry as her jeans tightened over her incredible ass. _Don't pant, don't pant, don't pant._

She finally straightened up with a bottle of microbrew and my breathing returned to normal. I was so riding the edge here.

"Thanks," I told her as she handed it to me, and I prayed she hadn't noticed the rough need that was shading my voice.

Who was I kidding? Of course she knew I was desperate for her.

Alice came dancing over looking, well, not quite like herself. But I couldn't exactly place why. . .

"Guys! You missed the opening band!" Jasper followed closely behind after Alice, his eyes a little wide, and Edward and Bella, holding hands, drifted over too until we were all paired off and standing around together in a loose circle

"Who was it?" I asked, shifting slightly closer to Rosalie. She shot me a look, but she didn't move away—in fact, she moved closer too. Okay, maybe she was crazy but she clearly wanted me too. Damn it. So much for not being able to resist her.

BPOV

"Supergrass," Alice said excitedly. "They were really _raw_."

I thought of how Alice had sat through the entire opening band with her arms crossed, her earplugs in, and her blackberry out, doing some online shopping. She was a horrible musical elitist and in her words, Supergrass had "sucked major ass."

I couldn't help the snicker and Alice frowned at me, clearly not wanting me to give away her secret. "What? They _were_."

"Um, Alice. If you thought Supergrass was raw, you're really going to love the Foos." I tried to sound genuine but I knew that my voice definitely veered towards sarcastic.

I heard Edward chuckling behind me, and Alice glared again. "Of course I am. I _already _love the Foos _and _Dave Grohl."

Jasper spoke up. "Dave Grohl _is _the Foo Fighters."

"Hardly," Alice scoffed. "I loved his first band."

Jasper smiled, more than a little patronizingly, and I elbowed Edward, who looked up from his drink to see Jasper go in for the kill.

"You know, I think pretty much everyone loves Nirvana."

Alice's gaze narrowed and she walked towards him, voice staccato and more than a little annoyed. "I wasn't talking about Nirvana, dumb ass." She punched him, not exactly lightly, in the arm as punctuation to her assertion.

"Huh?" Jasper's jaw dropped open slightly and I wasn't surprised to see a pretty self-satisfied expression settle onto Alice's face.

"I'm talking about Scream. You know, the band he was in before he joined Nirvana? When he moved from Washington, DC?"

"Shit," Jasper muttered. "You make me look like a rank amateur."

Alice gave a little shrug. "I've been a fan of Dave Grohl since I was little. I have to know everything I can about musicians I like, it's kind of an OCD thing. For example, did you know that Dave played drums for Queens of the Stone Age?"

"Seriously?" Edward asked, moving closer to me and wrapping his free hand around my waist. "I love the Queens."

"Oh yeah, he even played live with them on their 2002 tour."

"Shit. That's crazy," Emmett piped up. "I didn't know any of that."

Jasper frowned, and even from a good five feet away, I could sense the disapproval radiating out from him in waves. _Ruh roh._

"Of course not," Alice said rather smugly and I could sense this whole thing disintegrating before my eyes. _Oh Alice, who was smart enough to dress down to impress Jasper but who didn't realize that he hates it when she makes him look like a fool._

But before I could save anything, the lights suddenly dimmed, followed by the entire stadium erupting into ear-piercing screams.

"Oh, it's starting!" Alice chattered excitedly, clapping her hands.

Edward leaned down toward my ear, as we positioned ourselves to the front of suite that looked out into the middle of the stadium.

"Thank god," he breathed into the sensitive skin of my ear. "I thought it was never going to start."

"Did you think you'd have to play referee?" I giggled a little as he wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me close. I could feel all of him, every part, and I was so ridiculously addicted to that feeling.

"No, I thought you might have to get out the chair," he teased back.

"Never," I laughed again, and then gasped as he nuzzled my ear with his lips.

"Stop that," I whispered as harshly as I was able as his tongue shot out to trace the curve of my neck. "We have to stay for the whole concert and you're going to let Naughty Bella out of the bag." I turned slightly and shot him an extra hard look in the eye.

His face broke into a huge smile. "Naughty Bella, eh? Now I thought she existed, but it's nice to know she's really real."

"Oh, she definitely is."

"Can I release her when we get home?"

I giggled again. "You'd better release something."

Edward grabbed me close, as we both nearly doubled over with silent laughter. "You," he whispered fiercely, "are a little tease. And I haven't even mentioned that Green Lantern t-shirt you're wearing. I never knew having your girlfriend wear a superhero t-shirt would be so _damn _hot. I want to rip it off of you. . .with my teeth." To give me a little demonstration he nipped a bit at my shoulder and I nearly collapsed into him with lust.

"Your girlfriend?" I gaped questioningly.

He definitely looked confused. "What else did you think you were?"

"Uh." _God damn it, Bella, stop gathering flies here and say something_.

"You really didn't think you were?" His voice was positively shocked and I almost glared at him. How on earth would I have known? I wasn't a freaking psychic.

"Um, no. How would I?"

He hit himself playfully on the head. "Of course. Duh. It's just that I've thought of you as my girlfriend for so long."

"So long?" _Huh?_

"Oh it's a long. . .oh, nevermind." And, as if to purposefully distract me from the question at hand, he started kissing my neck again, knowing that I wouldn't be able to hold up my end of the conversation while he did that.

"So your t-shirt," he skillfully changed the subject. "Baby, I love it. Any man that looks at you twice while you're wearing that is going to be _dead meat_."

I laughed again because he sounded so caveman-esque. "Silly," I murmured, "as if I could think about anyone but you. Now, hush," I told him as a single spotlight drifted onto the stage and the greatest rock musician of the modern era, Dave Grohl, entered on the stage to a huge wave of fresh screams.

RPOV

I enjoyed the hard rock edge of the beginning of the concert, but I couldn't deny that my whole body was on edge, waiting for the moment they'd ditch the electric and pick up the acoustic guitars. I knew the Foo Fighters well enough to know they'd play the song I dreaded hearing during their renowned acoustic section.

Every time the song changed, I could feel Emmett tense next to me, and I knew we were both worried about the same thing. Under the cover of darkness I opened my mouth a dozen times to say something joking about it, to dispel the tension, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. The moment we'd shared six years ago was too precious to talk about in a lighthearted way, even if it might help ease our anxiety now.

What didn't help the situation was that Edward and Bella were clearly making out across the private box, and Alice and Jasper were intertwined, dancing to the music.

We were the only couple not touching, and I was definitely beginning to feel it. Even worse, I wanted to touch Emmett. Bad.

In fact it seemed more inevitable than ever that something would happen and it would happen tonight. The air was positively crackling around us as Dave launched into a particularly rousing version of "Big Me."

I forced myself to relax a little and as I compelled every molecule in my shoulders to let go, I felt myself brush against something hard, yet soft. _Emmett_.

I tried to move back in a flurry of mumbled apologies, but he wrapped one huge hand around my waist, and dragged me backward.

"Don't apologize," he told me roughly, "I liked it." _God, I did too._

It had been too long since we'd been close, and as I melted into him, every memory came rushing back in a painful and ecstatic blur. I knew then that there was no way I could ever truly resist. I could try, but I'd never be able to fully succeed. I sagged against Emmett even more, trying to absorb this new realization, and I thought I heard him growl in delight.

Smiling, I rubbed my ass against him just enough to make him wonder if I'd done it on purpose. I heard another groan, this time clearly through the rock music pulsing through the stadium. Nothing had ever sounded so good.

The song ended and the whole stage went black. And then I knew what was about to happen. Emmett must have too, because he tensed slightly, then relaxed. Finally, I could feel him about to give in to this nostalgic madness.

And of course, before the light even shone down on Dave again, I could hear the distinctive chord changes in the intro. It was the song. _Everlong._

_Hello, I've waited here for you . . .everlong . . .tonight, I've thrown myself in and out of the red . . .out of her head, she sang. . ._

Dave's voice purred the vocals out, and the appropriateness of the lyrics hit me like a brick wall to the face.

I turned to Emmett, my mouth gaped, and before I could even mentally prepare myself, his lips were on mine, and they were kissing me with the passion of six misspent years.

_Come down, and waste away with me, down with me . . slow . . .how you wanted it to be; I'm over my head, out of her head she sang . . ._

The shock settled into me, as the words echoed around us, over us, and I regained my senses and didn't pull away, like I was sure I would. Instead, I began to kiss him back.

And I wonder. . .when I sing along with you. . . . If anything could ever feel this real forever; if anything could ever be this good again. . .the only thing I'll ever ask of you is to stop when I stay when. . .she sang. . .

The kiss deepened, and we were suddenly, and yet completely expectedly, devouring each other like we could never get enough. His hands wove through my hair and pulled me even closer to him.

I broke away slightly only to tell him, "Let's get out of here."

He gave one sigh and then a single sharp nod, grabbed my hand and we were suddenly in the bright light of the hallway, and my back was against the wall.

Breathe out, so I can breathe you in. . . hold you in. . .

Emmett covered me with his body, and tenderly brushed a strand of blond hair out of my eye. "Rosalie," he murmured. "Breathe out, so I can breathe you in. . .hold you in."

The Emmett of six years ago hadn't been a romantic. He'd come close on occasion, but never like this, with such an intensely serious expression on his face, repeating the one line that I remembered more clearly than any of the others.

"Yes," I whispered back, my voice harsh with need in the silent and empty hallway.

"Okay," he agreed and then he gave me one more incredible kiss, before he meshed his fingers with mine and we walked down the stairs and out into the warm evening. I watched with half-closed eyes as he hailed a cab.

_Was I really going to do this? Did I want to do this? _The thoughts rushed through my head at warp speed, and my breath came a bit unevenly.

Emmett opened the car door for me, and his smile latched onto me and pulled me toward the cab almost as if my feet didn't need to move on their own accord. The cord between us was so strong, it felt like it could never be broken again—like the last six years had never happened.

I smiled back and got into the cab.

* * *

**You know you want to keep making my day. . .seriously!**


	24. Chapter 24

**AN: Hey guys, sorry this took so long. I was busy, though, I promise! VR is shaping up nicely, there should be an update sometime soon, AND I wrote a one-shot for the Dirty Talking Edward contest. Go check it out!**

**Songs for this chapter are up on my profile.**

**Thanks again to my betas and encouragers: CallistoLexx, tamelaine, angel, jdsk and the Twinster. You guys make my life.**

**--  
**

RPOV

I clamped my teeth together to keep them from chattering with nerves. Why was I more anxious now than I'd been six years ago, when I'd showed up at Emmett's house to voluntarily surrender my virginity to him?

Emmett climbed in the cab next to me—really, he was just _way _too close, though no doubt we'd be getting a whole lot closer soon—and gave the driver his address.

"Rosie," he murmured, throwing an arm around my shoulders and dragging me close to him until our thighs were flush with each other and I was neatly tucked beneath his big arm.

I buried my face into his shirt, savoring the nostalgic scent that was Emmett and Emmett alone, and tried to stop the inevitable tears. It seemed I couldn't do anything these days without bawling my eyes out.

It had been so long, and so much had happened in the interim, but I knew that me trying to deny him and _us _was impossible.

And as if he'd just read my thoughts, Emmett said, "Do you think we should . . .you know. . .talk about this?"

_Talk? Us? No, definitely not._

If we had a conversation about us, us would never happen. I would remember why I wasn't doing this in the first place. Except that I was definitely doing whatever it was we were doing, and getting into this cab tonight was my promise to myself that I would try to forget what had happened six years ago. I was going to try to move forward and trust him.

"No," I said as firmly as I could. "Emmett," I breathed a little more unsteadily as I looked up at him, "help me forget . . . please."

Clearly I didn't have to say anything else, because a split second after my words faded from the air, one big hand was on my thigh, and his mouth was again devouring mine.

As he rubbed deliciously pleasurable circles with his big thumb, the material of my jeans causing just enough friction to reach my skin, I tried to think with the two functioning brain molecules I had left on why it was a bad idea to jump Emmett in a cab. Or really, have him jump me. Screw public indecency laws.

Emmett growled low in his throat as my hands began to feel their way up his muscular chest. _God, I'd missed him_ _and all that incredible sexual magnetism._

I had to choke back another sob as we curled into each other in exactly the same way we always had. Waves of nostalgia peaked over me, and to my abject horror, a single tear leaked out of my eyelid and soaked into his shirt.

But unlike the torrents of tears I'd cried over the last few weeks—really, the last few years—this tear had nothing to do with heartbreak or the loss of the man in my arms tonight. Yet, it did have _everything_ to do with the man in my arms that I'd regained, and the broken heart that was miraculously repaired.

I lifted my face towards his, no longer embarrassed or ashamed of the emotions Emmett was able to evoke in me.

"Rosie," Emmett murmured again, and his hands cradled my head, a finger wiping away the stray tear. "Don't be sad."

"I'm not," I choked, "I'm happy." Three more tears fell down my cheek and Emmett raised an eyebrow.

I burst into watery laughter. If I ever needed a reminder that I loved this man, here it was. I pulled away a little and looked him straight in the eye.

"I am," I said more than a little argumentatively.

Emmett leaned in with his forehead, resting it gently against mine. Those midnight blue eyes bored holes into me. "Prove it," he whispered.

"Okay," I whispered back, and as my eyes fluttered shut, I let my lips touch his, softly, gently.

"Still not feeling it," he murmured with a teasing voice.

I felt the growl rise in the back of my throat. _Okay, he was asking for it now._

I pushed him back against the worn leather seat and started to devour him with every ounce of passion that I'd built up through the years, every molecule of how much I'd wanted him and every lame loser I'd settled for instead.

I moved my hand down his chest again, almost to right where he wanted me to touch him—not that I didn't want it, too—but at the last minute my questing fingers settled for a squeeze at the top of his thigh.

Emmett groaned into my mouth and I swear I heard the word, "witch," being uttered, but before I could protest my own back was on the seat, and his mouth was back on mine, devouring me like I was his favorite treat.

Our tongues meshed together, and one big hand traced patterns up my torso, raising goosebumps, even though he was only touching my shirt and not the skin I was desperate to grant him access to. I groaned into Emmett's mouth. I wanted his hands on all of me. There'd been so much anticipation built up to the one time we'd ever slept together, and as much as I'd enjoyed that one night, there was still so much left. So much that had been put away, and was now being thrust back into the bright light of day. It was all a bit dusty perhaps, but still as strong as it had been six years ago.

Emmett's hand sneakily worked its way up my torso and his thumb brushed the underside of my breast. I hissed and thought, _Okay, maybe it's stronger now._

For the rest of the ten minute cab ride, we kissed _a lot _and every so often he'd stealthily circle a nipple and tease it until it was hard and I was hungry and gasping for breath. Then he'd insistently calm me down, merely allowing me only short, gentle, shallow kisses. By the end of the cab ride, I was a shaking, jittery, incredibly horny mess. To say nothing of the state of my panties.

I was honestly surprised that as I tried to climb out of the cab door, while Emmett paid the driver, that my knees didn't immediately collapse into jello at the exact moment they were supposed to hold me upright.

"You okay?" Emmett asked as the cab pulled away and he walked over to me, my head craned up the stairs to his condo.

"That's a lot of stairs."

"It is," Emmett agreed, his voice a lot lighter, and a lot happier, than I'd heard it since that first meeting weeks ago.

I looked down at the pavement, feeling a fresh wave of nerves wash over me. Six years ago I'd been better at pretending; now all my emotions were so close to the surface that acting normal was difficult, if not impossible. Emmett couldn't think that this was just any other one-night stand, and as if he read my mind, he came up behind me, nuzzling my neck.

"Feeling a bit lazy, are we?" he teased affectionately, laying open-mouthed kisses down the column of my neck, causing me to shiver a little as the air hit my damp skin.

"No," I almost groaned. "Just. . .you're driving me crazy."

"Exactly." I could feel rather than see his self-satisfied grin as he stood behind me, lavishing torturesome pleasure on me.

Except that two people could definitely play this game and I was a little sick of letting him do all the torturing. I shifted my hips back, grinding my ass right into his crotch and couldn't help but smile as I felt his hard cock jump at the sudden friction.

"That's it," Emmett growled. He hooked one arm behind my knees and suddenly my world flipped upside down as I was lifted into the air. I gasped as my head settled against his hard chest.

"What are you doing?" I hissed. "Put me _down_."

"You said you were lazy," Emmett said, sauntering up the stairs, like he was carrying a five pound weight instead of a full grown woman. "And besides," he told me, his voice dropping to a murmur in my ear, "I like carrying you."

"You haven't done it for six years." _Why, oh why was I stupid enough to bring that up? Sometimes I was just too dumb to draw breath._

"I'm making up for lost time," he said simply and seriously.

"Okay," I told him in a small voice. The tears threatened again and I let my eyes drift close, as we finally made it to the top of the stairs. He didn't even put me down as he unlocked the door, though I'm not sure I wanted to know how close I came to being dropped.

He walked through the dark house, not turning on a single light as he went, and I opened one eye but then promptly closed it again as we came to what must be his bedroom.

Nerves coalesced into a hard lump in the base of my stomach as he set me down so carefully on the edge of the bed.

"Are you going to open your eyes now?" he asked, gently, brushing back a few strands of hair out of my face.

I opened them slowly and saw him standing in front of me, even though the room was almost completely dark.

"We don't have to do this unless you want to."

"Oh, I want to," I said reassuringly. "You get your butt over here and into this bed with me and you'll see just how much I want to."

"That's more like it," Emmett laughed, and though it was dark in the room, I clearly saw him move towards an iPod dock.

"No music," I ordered breathlessly. "You're going to go and ruin another song for me."

"Good plan," Emmett agreed, turning back towards me. "Let's just make our own music."

"You're pretty loud," I giggled as he stripped his shirt off. The sound died in my throat and my mouth dried up, just from watching his muscles ripple slightly as he walked over to the side of the bed.

"See anything you like?" he asked, his voice low, and I reached up one hand to curl around his large bicep to pull him towards me.

"You have no idea," I purred as seductively as I could. "Can I see some more?"

Emmett wagged a single finger at me, as he crept onto the bed, and I scooted farther up towards the headboard. Finally my back hit it and Emmett rose above me slightly on those incredible arms, and his lips captured mine again in a hot kiss.

Lust washed through me, so hard and fast I was dizzy.

"Emmett," I gasped, and he took advantage of the way my head fell back, attacking my neck and the sensitive spot just under my ear—the very place he'd discovered six years back. It floored me that he still remembered and I sank my fingertips into his muscled back and pulled him closer towards me, until his body was flush with mine.

My hips bucked up to meet his and he groaned into my throat. "Rosie. _Want you_."

"_Then take me,_" I breathed into his ear, "_please_."

The last word seemed to do, because Emmett finally reached for the hem of my shirt and pulled it up, much to slowly for my peace of mind—but at least it was coming off.

We'd been upping the sexual stakes for a few weeks now, and _finally_ things had reached the boiling point and I refused to wait any longer.

His hands slid slowly up my smooth torso, taking my shirt with them, letting his fingers drift enticingly over my bare skin.

Finally, he pulled the shirt the rest of the way over my head, but instead of going straight for my bra clasp, which was conveniently located in the front instead of the back, he went right back to my mouth, kissing me like he couldn't get enough. Of course, I was sure I couldn't get enough either, but if his tongue hadn't been keeping me occupied I still would have shrieked in frustration.

After what seemed like an eternity, probably because I was totally in thrall of his mouth on mine, I began to feel his hands begin to trace on my skin, the rough calluses on his hands from years of working on engines leaving fire in their wake.

I hooked one leg around Emmett's waist, and managed to lift myself up against him, rubbing as seductively as I could. Pleasure spiked through us, and I thought I heard someone groan, though I wasn't exactly sure if it was me or him. One hand roughly wrenched the front clasp of my bra open, and I couldn't be certain, but I could have sworn I heard a rip instead of the distinctive click it usually made. Really, this was a testament to how far in lust I was with Emmett—the bra was one of my favorites from Agent Provocateur's collection.

Emmett didn't even miss a beat after removing my bra. Instantly, his hands were covering my breasts, teasing my nipples into hard points, until he finally dipped his head low and ran his tongue over one. I arched into his mouth, unable to control myself or my reactions any longer—conscious only of massive gathering of heat between my thighs.

I never wanted him to stop, but the single coherent thought left in my head was _cock _and _now_.

Tightening my leg around his waist, I pulled hard while he was distracted with sending huge shots of pleasure down my spine, and flipped him over until I was straddling him.

"Rosalie," Emmett breathed, with a confused, lust-dazed expression on his face. He looked just about as out of it as I felt.

I put one hand on his chest as I moved slightly off him, to shimmy my jeans off, leaving the matching Agent Provocateur panties on, which caused Emmett's eyebrows to shoot up somewhere in the vicinity of his hairline.

"So incredibly sexy," he crooned, as he reached a hand out to touch. His fingers barely brushed the lace, but it was enough of a sensation to make my knees buckle. I slapped his fingers away.

"Stop it," I ordered. "If this was up to you, we'd still be on foreplay two days later, so I'm taking control."

Emmett smiled so broadly that I just barely stopped myself from rolling my eyes. Clearly, that had been his plan all along. What a jerk.

I gazed down at his broad muscled chest, and the jeans just hanging off those hips, and yeah, he was a _real jerk. A real hot jerk._

I refused to comment on Emmett's maneuvering verbally. Instead, I just went straight for his pants, undoing his belt buckle and zipper, then ripping them off him with probably more force than was necessary 'cause _yeah, he was going commando_.

My vision was obviously lust-infected too, 'cause seeing him completely naked made the world around me turn all hazy and red.

I think I must have mouthed _holy shit '_cause Emmett's grin only widened.

"Still like what you see, baby?" he boasted, and if I hadn't been so incredibly, frustratingly horny, I would have flounced out the door. Unfortunately, he had something I really _really _wanted. Leaving wasn't even an option.

I knew he was expecting the typical timid, _am I doing this right? _blowjob, so I made an executive, pussy-in-charge decision, and instead settled his rock hard cock right at my entrance, pushing my barely-there panties out of the way slightly and I slid right down.

The moan came from both of us this time, I was sure. Mainly because it was something I repeated about fifty more times as I rode him alternatively hard and soft, making him groan and swear until he was gripping the sheets by his hips with his fists, his head thrown back in crazy pleasure as we came together in a huge explosive force.

I collapsed on top of him, unable to hold myself up any longer, and Emmett wrapped those big arms around me and pulled the sheets up over us.

As I drifted into an incredible orgasm-induced sleep, Emmett smoothed my hair away from my face and muttered something that I couldn't hear and that I wasn't sure I was meant to hear anyway.

But it didn't matter because I was happier than I'd been in six long, _long _years.

--

EmPOV

As the morning sun crept over the West Hills, the room began to fill with golden summer light, and I watched Rosalie as she slept.

Was I stalker? Maybe. But all I knew was that I'd never seen anything as beautiful, inside and out, as Rose right now, her golden limbs tangled naked among my sheets, her blond hair spread out like a fan from her face.

Her expression was peaceful, and her lips were curled into the sweetest, happiest little smile. I would have traded my life for her at this instant—and probably at every instant in the last six years, and in every instant in the future to come.

The little voice in my head told that I never should have touched her. Or let her touch me. But now that the damage was done, I knew I'd never be able to let her go as long as she wanted me.

My cock twitched just at the thought of her "wanting" me again.

Watching Rosalie ride me had been the secondhottest experience of my life—it was only eclipsed by the day when she'd given me her virginity.

Rose began to stir and I forced myself not to jump on top of her and wake her up the rest of the way. My cock twitched its approval of that particular idea, and my hand slid into the sheets, grabbing a handful of cotton to try to stop myself from ravishing her all over again.

We needed to talk instead. I'd tried to do it last night, but the lust had been too strong between us for it to happen then. Instead we'd had hot wild sex.

But this morning, it had to happen. Talking _and _the hot wild sex. I had to tell Rosalie the truth of what I had done six years ago.

Finally, those beautiful eyes of hers fluttered awake, and she beamed up at me with so much happiness, I nearly felt my heart stop in my chest—to say nothing of what my dick felt.

"Morning," she said, stretching her arms above her head, and causing my _problem _to become even more pronounced. If she glanced down, we were both in trouble. Her because she needed to hear what I was going to say, and me because I knew she'd never let me out of the bed without at least one bout of red hot sex.

I wanted to slowly strangle the man, or men, who'd taught her everything she'd shown me last night. I'd taken her virginity, but she hadn't really learned about sex from me. That had come from someone else. I took a deep breath, and told myself that the three holes I'd had to repair in the last three weeks were because I'd let myself think too much on other men touching Rosalie. It had been their right—and not mine. I was going to have to come to terms with that.

"Morning," I said, picking up one of her hands and intertwining the fingers with mine.

"I want to tell you something," I began, "and I want you to just listen. Don't . . .judge me until you hear all of it."

A furrow creased Rose's perfect forehead and I could nearly see the wheels spinning in that incredibly clever mind of hers.

"About what?" Her voice was guarded and I wanted to burst into long line of four letter words. _Why had I thought she'd ever understand?_

I took another long cleansing breath and started praying to whatever God existed that she'd hear me out without freaking first.

"Six years ago. . ." I got out and she shot up in bed, the sheet dropping to her waist and momentarily blinding me with her gorgeous body.

"What?" she nearly hissed at me. "_What? _You're going to bring up six years ago after _last night_?"

Yep. That did it. I was too dumb, too lame, to even draw breath. I had thought it would be better to tell her right away, maybe move past it before it became a sticking point when she did find out, but clearly that had been the wrong choice. _No bueno_

"Uh, uh, uh," I backpedaled as fast as my words could take me. "Just . . .forget I mentioned that. We don't have to talk about it."

Rose's gaze narrowed, and I hastily added, "_Ever_," though I certainly had no intention of never telling her. She just was going to have to get used to the idea first.

"Good," she smiled, the hard lines melting away from her face, and she wrapped her arms around my chest. "Now where we?"

I decided to take a page out of Rose's own playbook and take control.

"I was just. . ." I set her up by the headboard and slid down her body until my eyes were level with her dripping core, "about to figure out how to make you scream loud enough to wake my brothers up."

Rosalie giggled unsteadily and I gave myself a mental high five for extricating me _and _my blue balls out of that situation.

An hour later, when we finally emerged from the bedroom, with Rosalie wearing one of my t-shirts as a tunic and a fabulous head of sex hair, Jasper and Edward were in the kitchen. Clearly, I was a sex god as well as a human alarm clock.

"Hey guys," she said nonchalantly as Jasper's eyes nearly fell out of his head. Edward chuckled, and I was just pouring a glass of orange juice for Rose when Bella came down the hall, wearing the _exact _same thing as Rosalie, except that maybe her hair was a bit smoother.

The glass nearly fell out of my hand and shattered, but Edward grabbed it just in time.

"Jasper had a rough night of it," Edward observed with a huge grin. I could just imagine—between me and Rose and Edward and Bella, though personally I was sure that me and my girl could best any possible noise that those two could make.

"Hello Emmett," Bella chirped sweetly, wrapping one arm around Edward's waist and pulling his head down for a quick kiss on his cheek. "Nice to see you, too."

As far as I knew, Edward had _never _brought a girl home. He had never even stayed the night with one. I breathed a little easier. Clearly, my home boy was in uncharted territory, which was only good news for me. Nothing like being booted out of bed because your girl's best friend is dating your douche of a brother.

"I got some bad news this morning," Edward said with a frown.

I was torso-deep in the fridge looking for eggs as he said this, and I asked him what it was without even bothering to emerge.

"The house we were going to rent for the 4th is closed for the summer. Terrible water damage apparently. A pipe burst."

I glared at the carton of milk in front of me. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, it sucks. And it's way too late to find another. They're all booked."

"You mean we're going to have to stay in _Portland _for the 4th of July?" I whined.

Edward sighed and I knew this was exactly what he meant.

"Damn it," I muttered to a stick of butter.

"I have a solution," a way too chipper voiced tinkled, and in surprise I hit my head nice and good on a plastic shelf.

Rubbing my bruised skull, I carefully poked my head around the fridge door.

"Alice?" I asked in disbelief. _She _had spent the night too? I was kind of surprised I hadn't heard her and Jasper, but then, Rose and I had been making enough noise for the whole townhouse.

"What's your solution, babe?" Jasper asked pointedly, glaring at me.

_What? Of course I was surprised. Jasper had less game in his whole body than I had in my pinky finger._

"We're renting a house in Cannon Beach. There's three bedrooms—enough room for all of us!" Alice's voice was way too high and way too excited this early in the morning, but her idea definitely had potential. More than potential. All I could think was screwing Rosalie through a fun and firework-filled long weekend. _Excellent_.

"That's a great idea," Bella added, and I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Rosalie was nodding in agreement. _Perfect. Screwing like rabbits it is._

"Too bad the 4th is _weeks _away," Alice pouted.

Bella put her arm around her. "But think of all the time you have to plan now!" she said, clearly familiar with Alice's moods.

Alice smiled brightly. "Good point. There's _so _much to do!" She clapped her hands excitedly and I sagged against the fridge door, barely managing to suppress a groan.

Beaching with Alice was going to be like going on a hellish Girl Scout bonding trip—every second filled with lanyard weaving or campfire building or _Kumbaya_ singing.

_Great._

However, I, too, had three weeks to figure out every possible excuse to get Rose alone so I could screw her brains out. I smirked at her and her eyes brightened. _Ok, time for the bedroom again_.

Nobody even looked surprised as I dragged her out of the kitchen, eggs never found, back down the hallway to my bedroom.

"We need to sound proof that shit!" Edward called after us, with laughter in his voice.

"You know it baby!" Rose laughed, the happiness of six lost years filling her lungs.

--

**Woot!! Guess y'all know what's coming up now, right?**

**Yep, they're going to the beach, baby.**

**Review, review, review!!  
**


	25. Chapter 25

**AN: Thank you guys for waiting for me to get my butt in gear. This chapter has given me absolute fits. I even had about 1,000 words written and I had to can them all because I was going in the wrong direction. So it is finally done, and I really hope you like it. It has been either a labor of love or a labor of well. . .frustration.**

**So a quick word about reviews. I hate to say it again, but I feel like I should. A LOT of you read this story--really a staggering amount--but honestly very few of you review. I'm not looking for novels or paragraphs. Even a simple "good job" would suffice. Thanks!**

**The final round of the Dirty Talking Edward contest starts tomorrow, and my one-shot, PUTTING LESSONS is up, so make sure to vote! Link on my profile.**

**Song links are also on my profile. Thanks to my beta, Tif, and also to jdsk, angel & debussy-this for being their awesome & supportive selves.**

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**_Three weeks later . . ._

APOV

I felt the tips of five fingers slide down my bare torso, curling around my hip, digging slightly into my skin. I sighed and settled into my pillow. These were my favorite kinds of dreams—dreams where I could just barely see the glints of gold in Jasper's hair reflected in the dawning sun.

I shifted slightly allowing the seeking fingers access to my lace panties. Instead they veered off-course, cupping the curve of my ass. I groaned half-heartedly, and Jasper chuckled low, the sound so unbearably sexy that I nearly came without him touching me once.

The stubble on his cheek deliciously scraped my neck just right as he leaned down to whisper in my ear, "Alice, I am so ready for you," and his lips descended on mine, catching me for a deep, hard, quick kiss that communicated better than any words how much he wanted me.

_Yes, this was the best kind of dream_, I thought lazily as the fingertips danced across my skin yet again, getting closer and closer to my dripping core where I wanted them so badly.

I reached one hand out, and it brushed a hard warm chest. My eyes sprung open and I nearly squeaked in shock. Never in my dreams was I able to actually _touch _Jasper back.

As I looked up into his amused amber eyes, I realized that I hadn't been dreaming. Well, not really, even though the last three weeks felt like every good dream and wish and hope I'd ever had rolled into one big happy chocolate ganache cupcake.

"Did you think you were dreaming?" Jasper murmured into my ear, his voice sleep-fogged and deep.

I nodded, burying my head into his chest—something I didn't think I could ever get tired of doing. I had imagined Jasper in my life and in my bed for so long, believing when it was long past rational to do so that he was the right one for me, that having him here now was a dream come true.

His hand swept over the line of my back, and snuggled me close against him.

"Jasper?" I whispered, even though I knew that the entire townhouse was empty because Rosalie and Bella were spending the night at the boys' place.

"Yeah, babe?" Jasper whispered back, just the corner of his mouth curved up into a cute little smirk—I knew he was inwardly laughing that I couldn't bring myself to talk at a normal volume in our bed. He'd done it enough over the three weeks we'd been sleeping together.

"You _know _I can't," I hissed. "I've tried. It doesn't feel right."

Jasper guffawed—way too loudly. "Babe, you are totally killing my mojo here." My breath drew in sharply as his hand found me again and rubbed me through the lace, soaking the fabric.

"Sorry," I moaned. "I'll stop."

"You'd better," he chuckled, dipping his head to swipe his tongue over my nipple, which hardened instantly in response. "'Cause I'm gonna make you scream."

"Jasper," I whined as he teased it mercilessly with just the tip of his tongue, and I rubbed myself against him, trying to force him to move faster.

My head hit the pillow behind me as suddenly he was sliding down the bed, tangling the sheets; that I could have cared less spoke volumes about how good Jasper's tongue was, stroking over the lace between my legs.

I hissed as his teeth just grazed my clit, aided and abetted by the lace of my panties.

Then I hissed as a loud sound echoed through the room. The fucking _alarm clock_.

Jasper shot up from between my legs, a frantic expression on his face at the hideously loud squawking. "What the _fuck _is that noise?"

I grinned sheepishly, making a grab for Jasper's hair and trying to drag him back to me. Damn but he did look fine this morning, with those eyes all sleepy and sexy and filled with lust. _For me._

"Come back here," I groaned futilely. "It's just my alarm clock."

He groaned and grumbled a bit, but settled back inbetween my legs again—_thank god_—and had just dragged the flat part of his tongue through my lace-covered slit when I heard the front door slam shut.

"Alice!" Bella's overly-cheerful voice called out through the townhouse, and I heard her footsteps coming down the hallway.

_One. . .two. . .three. . ._I counted down the seconds before we'd hear the inevitable.

This was _so _not happening.

"Alice?" Bella shouted and then I heard it. She was pounding on the door. Just three weeks ago, I would have been her. I would have been the door-pounder. But now all I wanted to do was lose myself in Jasper.

Jasper's head shot up again and he didn't have to say a single word—my head fell back and I hit a fist on the mattress.

"Alice?" Jasper whispered, and I was too damn depressed to even tease him about how quiet his voice was.

"We're going to have to stop," I said, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to ignore the very distinct throbbing between my legs. "She's not going to give up. I practically created her, and I _never _would have given up."

The last thing I really needed this morning was a case of blue pussy because today we were leaving for the beach and there would be _no _time to possibly get a quickie in until much, much later tonight and by that point I was going to need a lot more than a quickie—unless it was about four quickies in a row.

The pounding continued, until finally Jasper yelled, "God almighty, she's coming!"

"She'd better be," Bella chirped with nauseating cheer. Giving Bella copious amounts of what had to be great sex was really having unforeseen consequences.

"I should be," I grumbled as I climbed out of bed and searched for anything resembling clothes. We'd ripped them off so fast that I wouldn't have been surprised if I'd seen my panties hanging from the lamp.

I settled for Jasper's t shirt and boxers, and instead of protesting, he just crawled back into bed.

"What? I have to get up and you don't?"

He just raised one golden eyebrow. "Babe. You've got my clothes on."

I turned and flounced out of the room, shutting the door behind me perhaps a tad harder than I needed to. The great thing about Jasper and I was that our bickering hadn't stopped—it had just become a lot more playful and teasing and well. . .sexual. I'd discovered that all that time we'd spent fighting had really just been verbal foreplay.

Even better? We had a _lot _of time to make up for.

I barged into Bella's room without even knocking and didn't turn a hair when she yelped, turning her naked back toward me and hurriedly throwing on a bra.

"What the hell," Bella growled, but even that had a lighthearted, eminently satisfied edge to it. I wondered if it were possible that Bella and Edward were getting it on more than Jasper and I.

Nope. Totally not possible. I tried to contain my smile inside but it was so big and bright it just burst through. So much for being annoyed at Bella for interrupting.

We were still standing there, giddily beaming at each other when Rose burst in.

"What? You're not knocking either?" Bella asked, but again the heat just wasn't there. We were all too sexually sated to really be mad at anything right now. We wanted to save our precious energy for more important things.

"Nope," Rosalie yawned and stretched her arms upward. I ignored the chain of love bites that appeared on the sliver of exposed skin between her tank top and her low slung yoga pants.

Bella, as usual, was not as smart as me.

She giggled and pointed—not her finest moment—and I waited for Rosalie to blast her a new one.

But I, of course, had not adjusted to the new Rosalie. The post-Emmett fucked Rosalie, who wouldn't have gotten offended if you said her face resembled a sewage dump, just ran a hand across her stomach and smiled sappily.

"It was so hot," she confided, her voice going into girl talk mode in a way she hadn't even done when she was sixteen. "He said he wanted to mark me as _his_."

Bella rolled her eyes and lifted her hair. We all gasped. There was the mother of all hickeys on her neck. It was huge, a good few inches in circumference, and all kinds of interesting colors.

"Oh my god," I exclaimed. "That is a _monster_. Why did you let him do it, Bels?"

She chuckled and the smile that lit up her face was huge. "I couldn't have stopped him. You know how they are," Bella said a bit self-consciously.

"So what about you?" Rose asked innocently, but I saw the meaning behind the question in her blue eyes. She wanted to know if Jasper was treating me right—if he really wanted me. Though I had never told either of them about that afternoon when Jasper had rejected me, they both sensed that the road to happiness had not been an easy one.

No matter how deliriously happy I was, a slight undercurrent of distrust ran through me. _What was to stop Jasper from deciding again that he didn't care for me?_

I forced the thought from my mind, as I always did. I wanted to be happy and with Jasper. I refused to spend these precious weeks of bliss doubting him. Even if it ended badly, then maybe the happiness I'd experienced in his arms would be worth the pain.

"What about me?" I asked, just as innocently. She was crazy if she thought I was just going to spill everything. Some of it I hated taking out of bed—I liked the idea of there being things between Jasper and I that nobody else knew.

Of course, this did not stop Rosalie and Bella from trying to get me to share too much information like themselves. I now knew how Edward kissed and tasted and well. . ._shudder_. Pretty much everything about him. Stuff his mother didn't even know about him. As for Emmett, the same was unfortunately true, but in addition, I also knew well. . .certain sizes that I now had branded on my brain.

If I didn't know Rosalie so well, I wouldn't believe that she had actually measured, but that was my sister for you.

"Duh," Rosalie snarked. "Where did Jasper mark you? It appears to be a Cullen brother trademark."

"Well," I hesitated, "he _definitely _marked me, but I don't know if I should tell you where."

Bella nearly bounced up and down. "You have to tell us!" she screeched. Rose nodded vehemently, clearly agreeing.

I shook my head. "Nope. No can do."

Rosalie groaned. "God, Alice, you _have _to tell us _something_."

"I totally did. I told you we had sex. And it was well. . .good. Followed by amazing, then spectacular, and then I definitely ran out of adjectives."

"It was speechless sex?" Bella asked breathlessly.

I rolled my eyes at her. "You know it," I said with a self-satisfied smile on my face. Let them dwell on that for awhile. I wasn't kissing and telling—at least not yet.

"That's lame," Rosalie said. "A shriek can really say a million words. Are you telling me that you don't _say _anything at all during sex?"

Yes, Rosalie was my sister. But there were moments when I _really _wanted to cut her.

"No, but for love of God, I wish that was you _and _Bella here. You guys make more noise than a whole fleet of dying elephants."

Bella crossed her arms and Rose's gaze narrowed. "_What_?" Rosalie questioned, her voice rising to a dangerous octave. Bella nodded at her question.

I decided that no matter how much I wanted to tell them that the earth shook and the bells rang the first time Jasper and I had sex, honesty was really the best policy here if all six of us were ever going to be able to survive under the same roof.

"Dude, you two were _so loud _the first night Jasper and I had sex that it was like listening to the audio of a porno—except it was _worse _because it was our friends and family we were listening to. Talk about monumentally awkward." I fiddled with the edge of Jasper's t-shirt, not used to being quite so honest, but still managed to meet their eyes.

"Oh my god," Bella exclaimed. "You guys had bad sex because of us?" She looked mortified and I felt a small twinge of glee at her embarrassment. Of course it didn't come close to making up for what Jasper and I had experienced that first night, but it was a start.

I nodded, and then I heard Rosalie sigh. "I'm sorry, sweetie." Rose walked over and put her arms around me. "I was definitely _not _thinking of who else might be there though."

I sighed and hugged her, and tried to ignore that she smelled like Emmett all over. Or at least what I assumed was Emmett. Gross.

"I know," I said, "and it's okay. But you guys certainly didn't make things easier on us."

"I honestly didn't expect you guys to come back for hours," Rosalie confessed.

"Yeah, well, we couldn't wait that long," Bella interrupted cheekily. "And then Jasper invited Alice, too, much to everyone's surprise." She shot me a look, almost as if she was daring me to argue that I hadn't been absolutely floored by his offer.

Of course I'd been—I'd still been reeling from his confession the week before, and then his quick reversal. The last thing I'd expected him to do was invite me to spend the night.

But when Edward and Bella had come up to us halfway through the concert, right after Rose and Emmett's sudden departure, holding hands and had told us that they were leaving, too, Jasper had smiled and said, "We'll come, too."

He'd held a hand out to me and I'd been so shocked, I'd just done the instinctive thing and took his hand and we'd driven back to the boys' townhouse, only to have Edward and Bella disappear immediately into Edward's room—big surprise there.

We'd been left together in the living room, and neither of us had known what to say. Finally, I'd screwed together enough courage to ask him what I was doing here.

He'd turned off the TV and pulled me close to him, pressing a kiss down on the top of my head. Without a single word, he'd swung me into his arms and for a second it had felt like I was floating as he carried me to his room and laid me on his bed and covered my body with his.

Twenty minutes and five less pieces of clothing later, I'd been gasping as Jasper demonstrated how adept he was with his tongue, and I'd realized that all the noise I'd been hearing wasn't just coming from me.

That was when everything went downhill.

We'd turned on music, but nothing seemed to drown them out. We theorized, awkwardly, that maybe it was because there were _four _of them. Finally, Jasper had told me that he was going to try to ignore it and I should too. We'd finally slept together but the whole experience had suffered significantly because of what we'd been forced to listen to.

After that night, we'd gone to my townhouse and spent each progressively better night alone. We'd made love and had hot wild sex and a dozen different ways in-between. As much as I'd tried not to, I'd fallen a little bit more under his spell every single night, and I didn't think I was wrong when I concluded that the opposite was true as well. Jasper, ever since that one horrific afternoon, had been attentive and sweet, and his absorption in me seemed completely genuine. Of course, I was so far gone I hated to contemplate any other possibility at this point.

Truth was, we were right in the middle of being sexually enthralled with each other, and now, we were being forced under the same roof as two couples who couldn't be quiet if their lives depended on it. I was definitely going to be as honest with Bella and Rosalie as I could with the hope that the next three nights weren't going to be intolerable.

"Okay fine," I admitted, "I didn't expect to go home with him that night. But now that I have, I'm definitely not arguing. _And _I don't want to have to give up the next three nights because neither of you can keep it down to a mild shriek."

"I highly resent that. Blame Emmett, not me," Rosalie huffed.

I raised one eyebrow at her. "So you want me to tell Emmett that he needs to be worse in the sack so that you make less noise?"

Rosalie looked like she was rapidly reconsidering this plan, but before she could say so, Bella spoke up. "Listen, Alice, we're sorry. It's just hard, as I'm sure you know, to be quiet with a Cullen."

I nodded in agreement. "Believe me, I know. I just think we should try this weekend to be a little . . .considerate of each other and of who else is in the house."

"I can agree to that," Bella said, though she looked a little doubtful. Hell, I was, too.

"I don't know," Rosalie hedged, and I didn't hesitate to glare at her. "Okay," she amended, "it isn't that I want to be rude or inconsiderate, I just don't want to promise you that I'll be quiet when it might be impossible."

"Maybe you should get a gag," Bella supplied helpfully, before dissolving into giggles. Rosalie smacked her, but that only made her laugh harder. I was even having a hard time keeping the smile off my face.

"Maybe it would even make it better," Bella managed to get out between gasps for air.

"That's it," Rosalie said, her lips compressed into a tight line, "I'm leaving before we choose to poke fun at my honest sexual confession anymore."

She turned to go, but Bella grabbed her arm. "No, no," she pleaded, "don't go. I got something for you."

At the mention of a possible gift, Rosalie turned back from the door. Dear, materialistic Rose.

"What?" she asked. "Is it clothes?"

"Noooo. . ." Bella teased, watching the light in Rosalie's eyes brighten, no doubt. Nothing excited my sister like clothes. Except maybe no clothes and Emmett, lately. And besides, who was I to criticize? I loved them even more than she did.

"Then what is it?" I asked impatiently. "And there better be some for me too," I added, watching as Bella brought out a bag and plopped it on her unused bed.

"Don't worry," she reassured me, "there's some for all of us."

"Really?" I exclaimed, clapping my hands excitedly. "Let me see!"

Bella pulled a handful of panties out of the bag and my excitement died a little. "It's just underwear?" I asked, my mouth turning into a pout. "I have dozens and dozens of pairs, and these aren't even from Vickie's."

"Nope." Bella appeared totally unfazed by my pouting. "These are even _better_."

Rosalie elbowed her way in to have a look. "How is that possible?"

We both watched in earnest as Bella unfolded a pair. They appeared to be just normal white boyshorts, some with a nice colorful edging—but fairly simplistic.

Then Bella turned a pair over and Rose and I let out a squeal.

"Ohmigod," I screeched, "those are _yours_, Rose, they _have _to be."

On the ass it read, in bright red letters, "Your key cranks my engine."

Rosalie just smiled, and grabbed them from Bella's hands. "Mine," she said possessively, and nobody argued with her.

I stuck my hand in the pile on Bella's bed and pulled another out, hoping they would be mine. The front read, "purr," in a beautiful mint green. I held them to my chest and beamed at Bella.

"Jasper is going to love these," I told her and she nodded.

"There's a few more pairs that are yours," Bella said, pawing through the pile and handing me a few more scraps of white cotton. I glanced at them and couldn't help but giggle as I read their sayings: "Property of Jasper," "Bite Me," and "Slippery When Wet."

"Ooooh!" I exclaimed as I read them off. "I like!"

"Where are mine?" Rosalie asked—as usual, only thinking of herself.

"Right here," Bella said, scooping a few pairs into her waiting hands.

"Thanks, Bels," she replied, and turned to go. "I've got to finish packing and getting ready to go. What time are we leaving? Two?"

"Yeah, that sounds about right. We'll get to the coast in time to cook dinner. I'll call Edward."

"Have him tell Emmett too," Rosalie piped up. "Oh, and Jasper."

"Jasper's here," I added with not a single blush. "And I can't believe you're leaving without showing us your panties, Rose. Get your butt over here so I can see them."

Rosalie rolled her eyes but she did walk over, and we oooed and aahhhed over the various sayings she had written on them: "Rawr," "Too much car for you," and "Property of Emmett." There was even a pair that had "Park Here," written on the front and "Emmett's Garage," on the back.

"Emmett is going to die when he sees these," Rosalie confided, her lips tilting up in the corners in amusement. "Honestly I cannot wait until tonight." She giggled and headed out the door.

"Let's see yours," I told Bella. Hers were much of the same. One of the pairs said "Lunch," on the front and had a cute "Eat at Bella's," midnight blue sign on the back. I tried to ask her what that was all about, but she blushed and clammed up.

"I think that Edward is particularly going to like these," I said a bit slyly, pointing to a pair that read, "Fuck me," on the butt in bright pink.

Bella blushed again, and the expression in her eyes as they met mine was full of such joy that I was momentarily floored.

Bella had fallen in love and I hadn't even noticed.

I felt a momentary twinge of regret that I hadn't been there to see it—but it was okay because I was here for it now. I wondered if she'd realized it yet. I decided to take matters into my own hands and pry a little.

"So things are going well then?" I asked innocently.

"Yes," Bella enthused, her face glowing with happiness. "So well that sometimes it feels like a dream when we're together. . .you know?"

Yes, I did. In fact, case in point this morning. I hadn't known the difference between reality and a dream. Because having Jasper in my life combined the two in the most terrifying, heart-stopping, amazing way.

"That's great, Bels. I'm so happy for you," I told her honestly. "Happy for us all, really."

"I know!" she squealed. "You and Jasper are doing good then? I hardly see you anymore. I guess 'cause you guys have been spending the nights here."

"Yeah, we're great. Better than great. Is there even a word that means something more than great?"

"Nope," Bella smiled at me. "But I totes get it. You've always loved him."

There was that word again. Yes. I loved him. But that same love scared the ever loving shit out of me. I was so afraid, deep down, that my love would end up killing me in the end.

"I should go get him up," I said a bit self-consciously, knowing that Bella had nothing to fear from love like I did. Edward clearly had serious, steadfast feelings for her. Lucky Bella.

"Okay, yeah. I've got to finish packing if we're going to leave by two."

I left Bella's room and opened the door to mine. Jasper was sleeping, curled around a pillow, his long lean muscled back exposed to my eyes.

I crawled into the bed next to him, my personalized panties falling to the floor, for the moment totally forgotten as more of Jasper was revealed to my eyes. His lower back, his incredible ass. . .his muscled legs. I could look at him all day. Too bad I couldn't today.

"Jasper," I whispered in his ear. "You need to get up."

"Cold feet," he mumbled sleepily. "Cold everywhere. Go away."

I torturously nestled those same cold feet even more into the cocoon of sheets and blankets he had covering him. He shrieked, and I giggled unrepentantly.

"That's to force you to get up," I said smugly as he rolled over, with sleepy eyes, to glare at me.

"Fine," he groused, kissing me quickly on the forehead and gracefully slipping out of the sheets.

Jasper looked at me pointedly and I sighed. "I suppose that means you want your clothes back."

"Yep. You got it, babe." He stood there, completely unapologetically naked, and I never wanted him to put anything on ever again. He could remain naked, in my presence, for the rest of my life, and I'd die a happy woman.

Grumbling, I finally stripped off the t-shirt and the boxers, just leaving on my baby blue lace panties. Jasper's eyes narrowed in lust, and I felt another doubt pierce my heart. What if he was only sleeping with me because he wanted me?

_No_, I told myself, _do not go there. Do not think that. He has given you every indication that he cares for you. Just because he does not say the words does not mean that they are not true._

He made a move towards the bed, just like I knew he would, and I shook my head, playfully wagging my finger at him. "Nuh uh. You stay away from here. I need to get ready to go and so do you."

He sighed and caught the t-shirt I threw him, followed by the boxers. As he wrestled to get the shirt over his head, he asked, "So did you talk to them?"

"About the noise? Yes. They have both promised to try. Rosalie almost did not promise because she didn't want to make a promise she couldn't keep."

"Of course she did," Jasper replied a bit sarcastically. "God forbid Rose would ever do anything for anyone else."

"Well she _did _eventually say she'd try. So that's better than nothing, right?

"I suppose," Jasper groaned a little, pulling on his shoes and on a hoody sweatshirt. "Okay babe, I'm ready to go. I'll see you at two. So that gives me what, a couple of hours?"

"Yep," I said, folding my legs underneath me as I sat in the bed. He caught my lips for a brief kiss and then he was gone.

Precisely at two, I was dragging my suitcase clumsily down the townhouse steps when Jasper drove up. His black BMW SUV glinted dully in the sunshine and he quickly parked and jumped out.

"Babe, let me help you with that."

I adjusted the strap of my white sundress and sulkily wondered why boys always caught you in the moment of you trying to figure things out for yourself—and they persistently took away your opportunity to do it on your own.

"I had it," I argued, but the handle of the suitcase was already wrested away from me and Jasper had it down the staircase in about five seconds flat. I had to admit it was nice to admire him in his jeans and tightly fit black t-shirt, and the way the latter stretched over his muscles as he carried it, but that was hardly a feminist way of thinking, I told myself. I hated feeling helpless, no matter how many muscles bulged.

"Hey Jasper!" Bella called from the top of the stairs. She walked down, followed by Edward, who was loaded down with Bella's suitcase. Okay, so I was clearly not the only one considered incompetent here. That made me feel a little better.

"Where's Emmett?" I asked Jasper, as we walked towards his BMW.

"He's in the car. Hiding from Rosalie."

My brows slammed together, and an uneasy feeling built in the pit of my stomach. Three days at the beach with Rosalie and Emmett not speaking sounded like hell. "They aren't fighting, are they?"

"Nope. Not exactly."

"What do you mean, 'not exactly'?"

"Well. He's hiding because he's afraid that Rose is going to jump his bones again."

"You'd think that Emmett would like that," I said, confused.

"He does. Believe me. I have to hear about it all the freaking time. He really, really does. But he's tired," Jasper's voice dropped and I could tell he was barely holding in his laughter.

"Does that mean it's possible they might sleep on the drive there?" I asked, barely able to hold back the undisguised glee in my voice. Emmett and Rosalie, despite their undeniable sexual chemistry and attraction, bickered more than a couple who had been married for fifty years.

We finally got all the luggage loaded in the back of Jasper's BMW, and I climbed in the front seat. Glancing back as Rosalie climbed in the back seat, I had to smother my laugh when I saw Emmett, head crooked, already asleep. Rosalie smiled and fixed his head, and smoothed his hair back, clearly not aware I was watching. The tenderness she showed with him was sweet, and I couldn't even express how glad I was to see it. The Rosalie of the last few years had been so hard and embittered. I was thrilled to see that some of her external walls were beginning to melt away.

Edward and Bella, in his silver Volvo, pulled out of the driveway first, followed by us in the BMW. Finally, we were on the road.

Two hours later, I was crankily thumbing through Jasper's iPod and trying to ignore the loud ass snoring from the backseat. Jasper and I had long since given up trying to talk, and had focused on trying to find music to drown them out.

So far, we hadn't managed to find anything that could put a dent in the noise.

"Are we almost there?" I nearly had to shout so that Jasper could hear me over the music.

"I think so. I think our turnoff is coming up soon. You want to look at the directions real quick?"

"Sure," I told him, as I dug around in the pocket in the door for the Googlemaps printout.

"You mean you're not too worried that taking directions is going to kill your testosterone levels?" I asked him a bit slyly.

Jasper shook his head. "All I know," he said, "is that if I don't get you back in bed in approximately an hour—I will self-combust. If that means I take directions so be it." He looked over at me, and the edges of those glorious golden eyes crinkled a little as he tried to communicate how much he wanted me. . ._right now_.

"You know," I told him, moving as close as I could, with a huge center console between us, "I have a special surprise for you."

"Am I going to like it?" he grinned and I felt my breath whoosh out. I didn't think I'd ever get used to the frankly sexual way he looked at me and smiled. It was almost too much for my system to handle.

"Oh yeah. Definitely."

"Good. That means your clothes are going to be off _even faster_."

"Okay, I think I need my mind permanently wiped," Emmett announced from the back seat.

We'd apparently been so absorbed in our sexual sparring that I hadn't even noticed that the snoring had finally stopped. Damn.

"Uh," I managed to get out. I didn't know why I was so determined to keep private what Jasper and I had, but I was completely embarrassed that Emmett and Rosalie had clearly overheard us.

"Oh look," Jasper said, trying to change the subject, "we're here. Without the directions even." He pointedly looked at the printout lying unused on my lap and I blushed. Whoops.

I escaped the car before Jasper even turned the engine off. I couldn't wait to see the little bungalow that we'd rented.

It was white and small, with the most adorable veranda that wrapped all the way around the house. I sniffed the air and knew we were only a few hundred feet from the beach. Surprisingly, even, the weather had held out on the drive from Portland, and it was sunny and warm for the Oregon coast, at a mild seventy-five degrees. It was going to be a great vacation; I could already feel it in my bones.

Thirty minutes later, all the luggage was unloaded and we were unpacked. I was in the kitchen with Bella, examining the newly-stocked fridge, trying to decide what we wanted to make for dinner. Or what Bella wanted to make for dinner. I was there purely for emotional support.

"Definitely margaritas," Bella said, as we stood side by side, staring into the refrigerator. "And how about tacos? That seems pretty straightforward and simple. I don't know about you, but I'm tired."

"Exhausted," I agreed. "And you didn't have to listen to the snoring twins during your ride down here."

"No. . .but Edward was all trying to be musically educational. It was . . .well. . .annoying," she whispered.

"God, tell me about it. Between the snoring twins and the craptastic music on Jasper's iPod, well, let's just say I was glad to get here."

"Seriously," Bella agreed. "Okay, so tacos and margaritas it is. I brought strawberry puree, so us girls can have flavored ones."

"Great. I'll take those, and leave the food to you. We brought a blender, right?" I looked around the kitchen, trying to find it.

"Yep," Bella said, pointing towards it, halfway hiding behind a paper bag on the counter. "Get going. I'm going to need some liquid fortification soon."

We both would because Rosalie and Emmett had disappeared straightaway into their bedroom and had so far refused to come out. There hadn't been any loud noises yet, but we were all waiting for the inevitable.

Ten minutes later Jasper sauntered into the kitchen and his jaw dropped. "Babe, what on earth are you _doing_?"

I glanced his way, as I was trying to jam more ice cubes into the stubborn blender.

"This is not that easy, I'll have you know," I told him warningly.

He examined me from head to toe. "Clearly," he said with amusement laced through his voice. "You're covered in. . .in. . .what _is _that?"

"Uh. Either sweet and sour mix or strawberry puree," I said distractedly, as I pressed the crush ice button the blender repeatedly, trying to break up the frozen mixture in the blender.

"Babe, seriously. You need some help here."

"No," I glared at him. "I am fine. Just go back into the living room or whatever with Edward, and I will have your drink ready in a minute."

"Trust me. Don't want to go back there."

"Oh no! Emmett and Rosalie?"

Jasper nodded. "I think they may be cracking the wall with the headboard. At least that's what it sounds like."

I groaned and was so busy contemplating both a sleepless and sexless night that I didn't even notice that the mixture inside the blender had finally managed to break up a little or that I had neglected to put the blender lid on.

The stream of strawberry margarita that hit me was very cold and very sticky.

I screeched, wiping hopelessly at the rivulets of reddish icy slush that were making their way down my pristine white sundress.

"Oh my god," Jasper guffawed and reached for me, but stopped dead in his tracks. I looked down and realized that I wasn't wearing a bra and that the liquid had turned the top part of my white dress almost completely see through.

Jasper grabbed my arm, pulling me out of the kitchen.

"Jasper!" I yelled, my patience totally gone. "What the _hell _are you doing?"

"I have to get you out of here, Alice. I have to have you _now_."

I looked wildly around the mess I'd made of the kitchen. "But I have to help Bella clean up." She was looking at both of us like we'd just lost our minds. Then, suddenly, her face softened and she smiled. "No," she told us, "just go. I'll take care of it."

Jasper tugged again and I finally followed him, but as we walked toward the bedrooms, I heard the noticeable banging noise, followed by a shriek that was undeniably Rosalie.

"Jasper," I hissed. "No, let's wait. Until they are making less noise."

Jasper stopped and turned to face me in the dim hallway. "Alice. I don't think you understand. Suddenly, I could care less that we have to listen to them. I want us to make twice the noise they do. I want to make you _scream_ my name."

I swallowed hard. What else could I say to that? I nodded, slowly, giving him the permission. He suddenly swung me into his arms and his long strides ate up the last of the hallway, and finally we were in the bedroom.

"Jasper," I gasped between long kisses, as he settled me on the bed. "You're going to get margarita on you."

"I could give a fuck," Jasper said, breathing hard as he stripped his t-shirt off and threw it to the side. "I want to lick every molecule of it off of you."

"Okay," I agreed with an unsteady voice. The lust filling my veins made me feel molten and alive in a way that I'd never felt before, even during the last few weeks. Whatever this was between us, it was special and incredible.

His mouth fused to mine and his tongue lapped at mine, tasting the sips I'd been taking of the mixture. "God you taste so damn good, Alice," he moaned, running his hand up my thigh, spreading the sticky liquid up my bare leg.

I wiggled against him, feeling how hard he was under his jeans.

"Jasper, I need you now," I gasped. "_Now_."

He shook his head, taking his other hand and using it to turn me so he could unzip me. He wasn't careful and I thought I might have heard the fabric rip but I couldn't find it in my heart to care, as the dress was probably ruined anyway.

Finally he yanked it off of me, and his eyes devoured my nakedness. All I wore were the white panties that now were smeared with strawberry.

"God, I could eat you alive," he groaned, burying his head in my neck, nipping and licking at the skin there.

"Then why don't you?" I asked him teasingly.

"I want to clean you first. With my tongue. You witch." His voice was harsh with his breathing and gravelly with lust.

His head moved down my body, his tongue tracing the red pathways that had splashed on me. I tangled my fingers in his hair and tried to focus on breathing at least semi-regularly.

His tongue moved over one nipple, sucking on it to make sure that all the strawberry was gone, before he moved onto the other, brushing it lightly at first and then harder. I squirmed. I was already so hot—I didn't think I could bear to get any hotter.

"Jasper," I gasped. "I meant it. _Now_."

"Just a minute," he said, "I want to do one more thing."

My heart nearly stopped beating in my chest as he moved down the bed and lifted one of my legs and placed it on his shoulder, running his tongue over every bit of margarita that was left on my legs.

He pulled at my underwear and threw them over his shoulder. His mouth went straight for my dripping slit and I cried out as he drug his tongue through it. "Jasper," I panted, "I'm not going to be able to. . .hold out much longer."

One finger traced over my folds and slid halfway inside of me before teasingly retreating, while his tongue danced in a mind-blowing pattern over my clit.

"Good. I want you to come for me. Right now. Come for me," he demanded.

His tongue circled my clit and suddenly sucked and I came faster than I'd ever come before, exploding in a huge shower of sparks. As I came down, I opened my eyes and Jasper's head was above mine, an incredibly tender expression on his face. "Now," he said, "I want to make love to you."

"Okay," I breathed unsteadily.

He slipped into me gently, almost, and didn't even move right away. We laid there, almost overwhelmed again by how good and how right it felt to be so close to one another. He shifted slightly and I moaned, needing more.

"I'm going to move now," Jasper said, his teeth grazing the over-sensitized skin of my shoulder.

He did, excruciatingly slowly, and I closed my eyes, wanting to experience the feeling of every inch of him sliding in and out of me.

"Alice," he whispered, and his voice was like a benediction and it felt like there was something holy happening between us. Something holy and sacred and terrifying. I felt like I kept falling more and more in love with him and there was nothing I could do to prevent it.

I hitched one leg around his hip and he slid even deeper inside of me. I could feel his muscles shaking with the control he was exerting over himself. "Jasper," I told him, "you can move faster. Please."

"No," he shook his head. "No."

"Please, Jasper. Please _fuck _me."

He hissed and at that second his control totally broke. He slammed in and out of me, the incredible friction causing me to come yet again. I went rigid, and he pumped once, then twice, and then collapsed into me, his sweaty body covering mine.

I started to push his hair back from his forehead, and almost stopped myself. I was doing what Rosalie had done earlier, and it was totally an action of love and tenderness and the last thing I wanted to do was scare him away.

But then I remembered. He'd said he'd wanted to make love to me. _Make love. _Maybe that was his way of saying he loved me. Maybe he was just waiting for me to say it back.

I opened my mouth to speak, to finally say the words that had been hiding inside of me for the last six years, but nothing came out. The fear had them locked up so tight; they weren't coming out anytime soon.

I sighed. Maybe this was enough for now.

Jasper rolled over, and he pulled me toward him, until we were spooning, my head resting on his arm, and his other arm wrapped tightly around my waist.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked, and I closed my eyes tight, trying to blink away the sudden tears there.

"Yes." It was enough for now.

* * *

**Quick one more note. First. . .REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. You know you want to!**

**Also, thanks to jdsk for help with the personalized panties. I totes think she should sell those. What do you guys think?  
**


	26. Chapter 26

AN: GAH, guys I am so sorry this took so long. I promise, next chapter will be done a LOT faster. But some exciting things have happened. Halo & I have posted the first NEW chapter of VR, both on Twilighted and on fanfic, so you should totally check out Volterra Rocks! if you have not already. Also, thanks to your support, Putting Lessons tied for 2nd place in the Dirty Talking Edward Contest with the fabulous Ninapolitan's story, Eduardo's Lessons of the Sexing.

Thank you also to everyone who reviewed. I try to respond to as many reviews as I can (usually the ones with a specific comment and/or question), but I do want to take this moment to say THANKS for reading and reviewing. You guys rock!

Song links are up on my profile and thanks to ALL my great forum buddies and friends, you are such great cheerleaders!

* * *

EPOV

From the first moment I'd seen her, I'd pursued Bella with an intense tunnel vision. Our first morning at the beach I laid in bed, watching her sleep, and tried to figure out when things had gone all topsy-turvy and wrong.

She was the one who was supposed to fall hard like a rock.

She was the one who was supposed to be lost without me.

She was the one supposed to be staring at me for hours while I slept.

I frowned and rolled over, turning my back to her, thinking that maybe some visual space might help me clear my head.

_Nope_. The vision of Bella's milky white limbs sprawled out against the sheets, a cloud of messy long brown hair a halo around her beautiful face, was still stamped across my retinas.

The only explanation was that I had totally lost my mind—over Bella.

I refused to admit that my heart was lost too. Just the possibility sent that very same organ into palpitations of fear and dread. I'd never loved a woman before besides my mother, Esme, and that had taken years and years of trust building. I still had trouble saying the words to her. My freaking mother, for god's sake.

I had always known I would care about Bella—I knew I would from the moment I first saw her, and I'd gone to work in making her mine, never thinking beyond my ultimate goal. And now that I had undoubtedly had Bella, what on earth was I going to do with her?

Before I could panic any further, Bella yawned and rolled over, her arms tangling around my waist.

"Edward," she asked sleepily, "are you awake?"

It spoke volumes that even though I was suddenly terrified, just Bella's voice was enough to harden my cock almost instantly.

"Oh yeah," I told her, loving the feel of her hands exploring my bare chest and abs. "I'm definitely awake now."

Bella giggled as I suddenly rolled over, meeting her mischievous gaze. "Did you get _any _sleep last night?" she asked.

I shook my head and laughed at her faux-innocent question. Nope, I wished I could say that I'd slept, or even if I hadn't, that Bella and I had spent the whole sleepless night burning up the sheets.

But instead, we'd tossed and turned on the sheets, having to listen to Rosalie and Emmett try to destroy the wall with their headboard.

I'd never known that having to hear such over-enthusiastic sex would turn me off so much. Even with Bella lying next to me, neither of us had done anything but laugh over Rose and Emmett for awhile, cuddling and exchanging sweet kisses that were loving but not exactly sexual.

Until this moment, all our physicality had been raw and passionate and sexual. Last night was the first time we hadn't had sex in weeks. At about 3 AM this morning, as Bella slept restlessly next to me during one of Rose and Emmett's breaks, I'd realized that was why I was so uneasy.

I'd been using sex to hide my heart away and to try to keep my emotions unengaged.

So far I thought I'd failed, but I still couldn't help but keep trying. It was so ingrained in me that I didn't even know what else to do. So I gathered Bella's naked body and pulled it toward mine.

"Edward," Bella breathed unsteadily, as my fingertips ran lightly over her skin, teasing her.

"Do you want me, Bella?" I asked as her eyelids drifted downward and her lips tilted towards mine pleadingly.

She barely could nod before I kissed her hard, her head bowing back and my body covering hers possessively.

There was a particularly loud whack against the wall behind us and I raised my head and let out a groan.

"No, no, no," Bella chanted, her hands digging into my back, trying to drag me back to her.

"No," I told her firmly, climbing off Bella and grabbing a piece of fabric—anything, really—before I walked toward the door.

I wrapped what I'd grabbed around my waist and knocked firmly and with as much annoyance as I could convey on Rose and Emmett's door. As it was, I had to knock about fifteen times before they decided to acknowledge me.

By the time Emmett finally cracked the door open and glared through the opening, my expression was positively glacial.

"What the hell do you want?" Emmett hissed, using the door to shield his nakedness. "I'm kind of _busy _here."

"Yeah, that's the problem," I cut him off. "You getting busy is not only putting a dent in the wall, but a serious dent in my time with Bella."

Emmett had the nerve to smirk with obnoxious self-satisfaction. "Putting a little crimp in your groove, huh?"

"I can't believe you're not putting a crimp in Rose," I responded dryly. "But yes. You are. And you need to stop. Now."

Emmett crossed his arms. "No way, man. Not gonna happen, even if I wanted it to, and I don't. Rose is freaking insatiable."

"And you think Bella isn't?" I arched an eyebrow and watched Emmett's mouth open and close, flounder-like, for a good thirty seconds.

"Could you make up your mind sometime this century?" I asked with annoyance rife in my voice. "It's cold as fuck in this hallway and I'd like to get back to Bella."

Emmett opened his mouth to answer but before he could get a single word out, Rosalie bellowed from behind the closed door, "Emmett! Tell him to go to hell and get your ass back in here."

Shrugging Emmett began to close the door.

"No!" I yelled and stuck my foot between the door and the frame.

"I swear," Rose hollered again, "if you don't leave in five seconds, Edward, you're going to wish you weren't born."

"Is that because I'm going to have to see you naked?" I raised my voice so it would definitely carry through the crack that was left. Emmett's expression grew positively territorial, and it was only then that I remembered how many times he'd kicked my ass in the last twenty years. Yeah, time to go.

I turned abruptly and, removing my foot from the doorway, headed back to the room I shared with Bella.

Right before I closed the door behind me, I heard Emmett's cackling laugh and him call out, "Nice doughnut pjs there, buddy!"

I glanced down and grimaced at what I'd grabbed from the pile of clothes at the foot of the bed: Bella's Victoria Secret pajama bottoms with brightly colored doughnuts all over them. Lovely.

Bella took one look at me and burst into uncontrollable giggles. Even better.

But she was so gleeful that I couldn't help but smile too.

I unwrapped the pajama pants from around my waist and tossed them on the floor with one last glare before I climbed back into bed. I'd just gathered Bella back into my arms when the insufferable banging began again. Clearly Rose hadn't wasted a speck of time once Emmett had returned to bed.

Bella groaned and wiggled out of my arms, nearly causing me to groan in unison with her. Her head fell back against the pillow and she was so adorable with her nose scrunched in annoyance that I nearly forgot how much I wanted to screw her.

Almost.

"Let's take a walk," Bella said, turning her head slightly so she could look at me.

The sun was just rising and no doubt the beach would be beautiful. Still, I was embarrassingly reluctant to leave the confines of the bed and the possibility of sex.

Bella frowned, apparently not liking my long pause, and crawled out of bed, to my dismay.

"Bella. . .?" I asked beseechingly, my hand reaching for her. She slapped it away and continued to look for her clothes.

Finally turning back towards me, she asked, "are you coming or not?" before slipping out the door.

I was an idiot, but I wasn't stupid. I threw on some jeans, a hoody and slid into the slip-on Converse I'd brought and was ready in under two minutes.

Bella was outside on the porch, her feet tucked under her, and her head resting on her knees. She had a contemplative, almost sad expression on her face and I felt a fission of fear work through my heart.

_How could she be mad?_

_She was a woman, wasn't she?_

_All I did was pause and think about whether I really wanted to go for a walk. It's like six freaking AM in the morning—who wants to walk then?_

_Watch out or she's going to start thinking you only want sex from her. . ._

I continued my inner debate for a good ten seconds before finally sitting down next to her and trying to make right what I hadn't realized I'd screwed up.

"You okay?" I asked softly, putting one arm around her shoulders and pulling her close.

She turned to look at me and to my surprise her eyes were clear and untroubled. I could have sworn she'd been upset just a moment ago. Clearly, I was losing my mind. My own worries were beginning to overflow and spill into Bella. I didn't need that sarcastic twit in my head telling me that wasn't good. It went without saying.

All I knew was that I couldn't mess this up. Not here. Not with Bella.

So I stood and offered Bella my hand and we started walking towards the beach.

Having not really been outside of the house yet, I hadn't realized we were only a block from the beach.

"This is a great location," I said casually, still unable to beat the feeling that something was wrong into submission. Better, I decided, to act like was nothing wrong and go from there.

"Yes, we come here every year. For years." Bella said, and though her voice did sound normal, there was just a tinge of _something _that worried me. Something that sounded a little bit too much like resignation.

Hell, the last thing I wanted Bella to be was resigned to me. I wanted her to be just as happy she'd found me as I was that I'd found her. And I was pretty fucking thrilled.

"Really? Isn't it hard to get a rental this many years counting?"

Bella turned toward me and stopped in the middle of the road. The skin between her brows puckered and she said, "This isn't a rental. She owns it."

I couldn't contain my shock. "What? Are you kidding me? Do you _know _how much these are worth? Not even the house—but the land too."

Bella nodded and began walking, and didn't answer me until we had gone a few feet and were right on the edge of the stone steps that wound their way towards the beach below.

"Careful, these are slippery," Bella advised.

As if illustrating her own point, the first step she took almost sent her sprawling onto the rocky ground, but I caught her arm just in time and dragged her toward me. I held her until her balance was restored and couldn't help but laugh at her self-recriminating frown.

"What is it sweetheart?" I asked playfully, tucking her head under my chin, and tracing the length of her spine with my hands.

"I'm so lame," Bella said, rolling her eyes and blushing slightly.

"No, never," I exclaimed, my head dipping down to graze the side of her neck with my lips. "You, Bella" I murmured into her skin, "are the most beautiful, the most intelligent, most charming girl I have ever had the luck to meet."

She giggled a little, and she sounded so ridiculously, perfectly happy that my heart stuttered and I felt it begin to race harder in my chest.

But I knew I had to get control of myself and my stupid fears before I totally fucked this up. Even though what I could potentially feel for this girl scared the ever living shit out of me, the possibility of losing her was a far, far worse proposition.

"Come on," I said softly, tugging on her hand, and leading her carefully towards the steps again. "I'll help you this time."

Slowly and carefully we picked our way down the rocks and I kept a close eye out for Bella's footing. Of course, about halfway down, I'd teased her about her choice of flip flops for hiking conditions, and she'd playfully slapped my arm. But of course, since this was Bella, it totally threw her off balance and I'd had to hold onto her yet again so she didn't go toppling down the cliff.

By the time we made it down, though, I had her laughing at her own clumsiness, which was something I hadn't even managed so far. This was one of the few times when I thought that maybe the far too charming Masen genes were good for something.

Of course, Bella had been right. The sunrise on the beach was beyond glorious and it was nearly deserted which meant I could grab her and kiss her nearly anytime I wanted on our walk down the beach.

We'd rolled up our jeans and I held our shoes in one of my hands, and we were enjoying our little stroll tremendously when Bella pulled the sand out from underneath me again.

"So Edward," she began far too casually, and instinctively, my antenna went up. "You were adopted by the Cullens."

She didn't ask a question but I answered anyway. I knew what was coming and I didn't like it. "Yes," I replied shortly, hoping that the conversation would end there but knowing it wouldn't.

"How old were you when you went to live with them?" she asked, looking up at me with so much god damned kindness, I wanted to bleed out right there, onto the sand. But not talking about it and holding back were relentlessly ingrained in me and all I could manage to get out was, "Ten. I was ten years old."

Her grip on my hand tightened and though I refused to look, I could sense that her eyes were brimming with sympathy and understanding.

Bella was too good to leave it alone, though probably she would temporarily if I asked her to. So finally, letting out the breath I didn't know I was holding, I decided to just tell her the whole story and get it over with. I hated dwelling on the misery of my childhood and I believed wholeheartedly that I'd begun living the second I'd met Esme and Carlisle, who I considered my _real _parents.

"My dad was a pimp. My mom was his prostitute. She wanted to keep me; he didn't. He couldn't beat her enough to convince her to get rid of me, and even after I was born, he hated her for it. For taking something he didn't want to give. Finally, when I was ten, he killed her. He went to jail. I was adopted by the Cullens."

I heard Bella's shocked gasp next to me, but I couldn't turn to look at her. A good minute or two passed before she spoke again. I stood staring at the ocean, but not seeing a single drop as I waited for her to figure out what to say.

"Edward, that's awful. I am so sorry you had to go through that," Bella murmured, so sweetly and with so much emotion clogging her voice that I wanted to run.

But I couldn't run. This was _Bella_. She deserved better. So I forced myself to turn towards her and gather her back into my arms. I felt the remnants of her tears leak through the fabric of my hoody and panic welled inside me. She cared a lot—obviously. This should have thrilled me, but instead I wanted to turn back the clock and make her care a little bit less.

"Edward," Bella said softly, and I brushed the satiny smooth skin of her cheek and down to her chin, and tipped her head up.

Before she could say another word, I let my lips brush hers softly, once, then twice. I let her deepen the kiss and she did, opening her lips and letting her tongue touch mine.

I tightened her against me and felt the all too familiar hunger course through me. I told myself that I wasn't using sex to distract from my confession, but I didn't examine my motives too closely. My body told me it wanted Bella, and hell, I was going to indulge.

"Let's go find an abandoned part of beach and have some fun," I murmured into her mouth.

Bella gasped and then laughed. "You're crazy."

"Surely you haven't done it on the beach before?" I asked slyly, hoping to appeal to her sense of adventure.

No such luck. "Uh yeah," she said, pulling away and crossing her arms over her chest. "It was sandy and cold and unpleasant."

I arched one eyebrow. "Do you _really _think it would be unpleasant with me?" I asked, running my hands up her arms and resting them on her shoulders. I wanted her so bad I thought my cock would burst out of my jeans. After a steady Bella diet for three weeks, apparently certain parts of my anatomy couldn't handle even a tiny fast.

"Well. . ." she paused. "No. But yes. I'd be cleaning sand out of me for a week. And that is enough to make me want to at least request a non-sandy surface." Her expression was determined and I wanted to howl in protest.

"So sand-cleaning is trumping headboard banging then?" I asked grumpily, wondering how much longer I could really hold out without having her.

"It is," she responded with a smile. "Besides, I bet they're done by now."

I doubted it, but I still nearly ran back to the house, dragging Bella by the hand behind me.

As it turned out, Bella was right, they were done, but both of us had failed to think of the Alice factor. She wasn't doing any headboard banging—at least at the moment—but she was all excited about our plans for the day and couldn't wait to get started with them.

Alice had decided, and had managed to convince Jasper, that the best thing to do today would be to drive two hours to Newport and visit the aquarium that had housed Keiko once upon a time. I thought this was an incredibly lame idea and argued that I didn't want to travel more than five minutes away from the bedroom, but I was soundly vetoed.

In a final act of futility, I'd attempted to pull Bella into the shower with me, but she'd resisted pretty soundly, pointing to the 4x4 size and how we'd probably both need a chiropractor if we attempted that.

I argued, pointlessly, and ad nauseum, that she was worth any chiropractor visit, but she'd only laughed and left the bathroom and my blue balls behind.

As I soaped up in the shower, I tried to think of how long this aquarium trip could even take. We'd be home in a few hours. I could even wait a few hours, especially since I'd be spending some quality time with Bella. I'd just tell her to wear a skirt.

It turned out that Bella and I surprisingly similar ideas regarding clothing choices, and she was wearing a rather short denim skirt that was already a new favorite. That one was definitely going to go in the spank bank for later.

We climbed in the car and I prophesied direly that we'd all regret making this trip. Both Alice and Bella threatened my life and I shut my trap, but knowing I was right.

* * *

BPOV

Edward was right.

We never should have gone to the aquarium. It had seemed like a rather fun idea when Alice had suggested it, but both she and Jasper _and _Emmett and Rosalie liked to bicker. Loudly.

Suffice it to say, it was a very long two hours.

Alice had talked up the aquarium big time as being the one time home of Keiko, the doomed whale, but when we got there, we quickly realized our mistake. Or Alice's mistake.

We soon learned that there were way too many types of fish and that the Newport Aquarium had way too many of them. An hour into the tour, I grabbed Edward by the pocket of his cargo shorts and hauled him into a dark corner in the underground dolphin tank, or wherever the hell we were.

"We need to get out of here," I hissed at him, arms crossed in annoyance.

"Hey, I'm all for that," Edward said with a rather infuriating smile, "but let's remember this was _your _idea."

"Actually it was Alice's, if we're going to get technical," I snarked back.

"You supported her. I didn't want to leave the bedroom," he pointed out self-righteously and I hated to admit that he'd had the right idea. My panties were wet, and we'd barely touched since getting here. All I had to do was think of everything that the last three weeks had been, and I was on like a faucet.

"I don't care!" I nearly screeched in desperation, and several people looked my way strangely, "I just have to get out of here. Now. I need you."

Edward chuckled and I felt a strange desire to fuck that particular self-satisfied sound out of him.

"Let's go to the car," I suggested seductively, feeling Naughty Bella, who'd been in control more and more lately, begin to take control.

"Right now? What about your fear of exhibitionist sex?" Edward asked innocently, his green eyes going wide. He was being a little bitch, all because I hadn't wanted to scrape my insides with sand earlier. He was totally going to pay for that.

I snaked my hand halfway up his shorts and let my fingers stroke his thigh muscles. "I know you're angry about this morning, baby," I cooed, "let me make it up to you."

Edward's eyes darkened and his lips twisted into a rather sexual grin. "You're on."

He slipped his hand in his pocket and took out his cell phone. Pressing buttons quickly, he muttered, "I'm just going to tell Emmett where we are. He'll keep the hysteria down if anyone notices we're gone."

I snorted. "Everyone's so bored they're nearly catatonic. That's not going to happen."

"Exactly. Now let's split." He grabbed my hand and we wandered back through the entrance. The ticket taker waved at us cheerily and we waved back with equal happiness to be out of that oceanic hellhole and onto something a lot more interesting.

"Backseat," I breathed unsteadily, as Edward slipped his hands up my skirt, the calluses on his fingers rubbing against the sensitive skin on my inner thighs.

"Just a second," he whispered. "There's something I want to do first."

"We're outside the car!" I hissed at him. Sure we'd parked in the far corner of the parking lot, and it wasn't that busy, even considering the holiday weekend. Clearly most vacationers were a lot smarter than us.

"I'm hiding you, mostly. Nobody can see," he reassured me, sliding his fingers up further and taking my panties with them. He slid them down my legs quickly and stuffed them in a pocket in his shorts, before returning one hand up my skirt.

"I don't want you to make a single noise," he breathed into my ear. "Not a peep."

My knees wobbled unsteadily and I nodded.

"Okay, good. Now, Bella, I want you to come for me."

His fingers rubbed my exposed pussy hard and I nearly fell into his hand the pleasure was so sudden and immediate. In the last three weeks he'd learned to play me like a virtuoso, and I was nearly singing now as his thumb rubbed my clit in maddening circles.

I panted hard, and Edward ducked his head, sucking my earlobe into his mouth. I groaned a little and with a swift admonition he slapped a hand over my lips. Sinking my teeth into his skin, I felt him jolt, and then in reciprocation, he sank two fingers into me.

I couldn't take it anymore. The pleasure was building fast and hard and I felt myself begin to lose control a little, but not quite enough. It was so good and I wanted to come so much that I strained a little against Edward's hands, needing more.

He bit down hard on my earlobe, and I clenched around his fingers and nearly hit the side of the car.

"Steady, steady," Edward murmured as I came back down to earth. "Let's get you in the car."

I couldn't argue with that logic, and I climbed in the open door he held for me. The second Edward was in the car and the door closed behind him, we fell on each other, kissing as though we could never get enough.

Edward dragged me onto his lap, and I straddled him as my mouth devoured his. "Have to have you now," Edward panted, breaking contact for a second to hurriedly unzip his pants. I moved against him and we both groaned.

He pushed my skirt up, and I sank down hard onto his hard length.

God, it was better than chocolate or roses or even dinner at the Rogue Brewery.

Edward was better than anything good, all rolled into one man who was sensitive and charming and intelligent and all mine.

I knew it in that second, in a completely irreversible way, and I had to bite down on my lip to keep those three little words from simply exploding out of me.

I loved Edward Cullen.

Edward hissed in pleasure and anchored his hands hard around my hips and I grasped his shoulders as we moved together perfectly in unison. The car jerked as we moved harder, and finally, as his fingers dug into my hips, I exploded, and he followed soon after.

I collapsed onto his shoulder, breathing hard, and he curled one arm around me possessively.

The words welled up again in my throat and I nearly had to blink back tears of happiness and realization. I knew I was stupid not for not just letting them fall lightly off my lips, but Edward had been behaving strangely the last few days, almost as if he were scared of the place we were inevitably heading. I didn't want to run him off. I would wait until he told me first, and I never doubted, not for a single second, that he didn't love me too.

* * *

I know, not at ALL what you were expecting. Neither was I, really. I wanted to make these next few chapters really light and fluffy, and well, the characters decided that was not meant to be. Yes, Edward cares about her. Yes, Edward is terrified. Yes, there will be more about this in future chapters! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!


	27. Chapter 27

AN: Promised a new chapter pretty quickly and here it is. By my outline, only a few more chapters left which is just crazy to me. I never thought it would go this far, and all your support over the last six months has been amazing. I am constantly floored by it. So thank you for all the reviews and the forum comments and suggestions. And yes, PLEASE join us on Twilighted. I have a thread for TDIG in the AH AU forum, and there's lots of fun stuff going on there.

So the beginning of this chapter does bear a resemblance to my short one-shot, Putting Lessons, but originally that whole idea was meant to go in TDIG anyway and I decided to borrow some of it for my DTE contest entry. I think it's fairly different from PL, but keep in mind if you do like this, you'll probably like that story as well, so check it out (and yes, there will be some one-shot prequels and sequels to that, I promise).

So, a lot of you have been wondering what I'll tackle after I finish TDIG. At the end of this chapter, I'm going to post a small little teaser for my next story, and I'll be doing that all the way up to the last chapter. When I say small, I mean small though, and they're a bit ambigious on purpose.

Thanks to my betas, tamelaine & CallistoLexx. Songs are up on my profile.

* * *

EmPOV

I was a bad, bad man.

I'd done exactly the thing I'd sworn to myself that I'd never do.

All I'd had to do was keep a promise that I'd never even _dream _about touching Rosalie ever again. She deserved better than a fuckup like me, but what had I gone and done?

Yep. I'd gone and made my affectionate nickname for myself a self-realizing prophecy. I'd fucked up again, and not just once. Oh no. For three weeks straight I'd fucked up.

And for the life of me, I couldn't even find a morsel of regret inside me. I supposed it was there somewhere, but with Rosalie leaning against the wall, her mini golf putter dangling from her dangerously elegant fingers, all I could feel was this blinding, completely hopeless love.

Yeah, I was a real Debbie Downer. Hopeless indeed 'cause though she seemed to like me well enough now, sooner or later she'd find out the truth about me, and all that hate would come crashing right back. This whole interlude was temporary and it was getting harder and harder to keep reminding myself of that fact.

I knew I was turning into a real girl when I acknowledged how much I dreaded the day she'd say fuck off and how much I knew that day would hurt.

Truth was, I wanted Rose to be mine. Forever. She fit me so perfectly it was like we were made for each other and we'd just spent the last six years existing instead of living.

Each time we were together I couldn't help but feel like it was all fleeting and this time might be the last time. I had to get as much of her now as I could, before it all evaporated.

"Your turn, Em," Rosalie cooed, sauntering over towards me. Rosie was always beautiful, but lately she'd begun to glow with happiness, and she was so unintentionally stunning today in her simple shorts and t-shirt that no man on the entire course could take their eyes off her.

I wanted to rip their eyes from their sockets, but since I knew I was privileged to have what none of them ever could, even if it was fleeting, I simply put my arm around her possessively and glared.

"God, Emmett," Edward complained loudly. "How long are you going to keep us all waiting?"

I rolled my eyes and reluctantly let go of Rose. She smiled and tapped my ass affectionately with her putter. "Do me proud, baby," she breathed seductively in my ear and I almost forgot what we were doing.

Oh yeah. Group bonding activities. Jasper needed to chain Alice to the bed so she couldn't plan any more of these. The aquarium yesterday had been bad enough—not to mention that Bella and Edward had obviously snuck off for some screwing—but this was reaching a new low.

Of course, mini golf did have a few small advantages. I'd watched Rose make two shots leaning over and the vision of her ass had made me hard as a rock.

I casually dropped the ball down, eyed the green grass covered volcano and wondered if I should try to hit it softer, to prevent it from popping back out of the hole.

I tried to tap it in carefully, but as usual, underestimated my own strength and sent it hurtling over the other side.

Rose drawled, "Nice shot," and I felt no compunction in shooting her a glare. The great thing about Rosalie and I was that we almost never took each other seriously. She gave as good as she got, and the look I got back would have fried the ball hair off any normal guy. Grinning hard, I observed that both not being normal and not being afraid of her were two significant advantages I held over any other guy.

I could count on one hand the number of serious conversations we'd had these last three weeks and two of them had been over the advantages of Asian engineering over European. Rose was still miffed she'd lost that argument twice and I'd had to seriously work my ass off in the bedroom to make up for every salient point I'd made.

"My turn!" Alice sang, sashaying up to the green and putting it perfectly into the hole on top of the cone.

"Hole in one!" she yelled, jumping up and down with Bella in celebration.

Jasper, standing next to me, rolled his eyes.

"You've been playing golf with your dad for twenty years, Alice," he called out. "If you were as bad as Emmett is, I'd really think your hole in one was something."

I whacked him upside the head and Alice blew a raspberry and stuck out her tongue at him before trying to turn around and walk away.

Jasper laughed and pulled her back against him. She struggled for half a second, but then contentedly settled back into his embrace.

Bella sighed and tried to tap her ball as carefully as Alice, but like me, she had no luck. As her ball rolled off the top of the cone and down the other side, Edward gave her a reassuring smile and she returned it a bit wistfully.

"Your turn, Rose," she spoke up and I immediately turned my attention to the woman uncoiling herself from the reclined pose against the wall. I knew every other man in the room, with maybe the exception of my brothers, watched her too.

_How could they not?_ I reasoned with myself. _Just look at her. The woman you're privileged, at the least for the moment, to call yours._

Rosalie tossed a sheaf of golden blond hair over her shoulder and eyed the volcano like it was a man she wanted to seduce. I couldn't help myself. I grew hard—or rather, _harder_. Whenever I was around her, it seemed that being turned on was a permanent state.

"You get 'em, baby," I called, and she looked back over her shoulder, blue eyes playful, and she blew me a kiss.

I liked the sex kitten act she put on occasionally, but it certainly wasn't what I liked most about her.

Then I watched her hands slide down the shaft of the putter, and my mind abdicated in favor of my cock and I couldn't think at all.

I didn't care that she was turning on anything with testosterone that was lucky enough to see her little show. All I cared about was that she was doing it, and I knew it was for me and me alone.

"Rose," Alice said good naturedly, "cut the 'Pretty Woman' reenactment and get your butt moving."

She laughed, and bent down a little farther, and I swore I heard a groan from somewhere behind me.

"You can do it later, baby," I said to her, "in the _bedroom_."

I didn't care how proprietary it sounded. I just wanted everyone else in and on the damn golf course that Rosie was _mine _and that the only one who could ever release her was Rosalie herself. No other man would or could ever change what we had together, and I wanted to almost dare them to try, if the trying wouldn't totally kill me.

She looked at me again, and her expression had turned from playful to annoyed. _Whoops._

"Baby," she enunciated sarcastically, "I might not _feel _like it later." And with that, she straight up caressed the putter. In front of everyone and God.

I think I felt my jaw drop, and I heard Alice laugh more lewdly than I'd ever heard her before. That probably sent Jasper into the stratosphere, but I couldn't look back to check, because I was still trying to send enough blood molecules to my brain so I wouldn't forget to breathe.

* * *

RPOV

I glanced over at Emmett, and felt like singing in triumph. He was floored by my little display with the golf putter and I couldn't be more thrilled.

Okay, maybe I could.

But I'd have to involve him. . _.personally_ . . .in my act.

"Emmett?" I asked as innocently as I could, sliding my tongue over my bottom lip. I was well-versed in pretend seduction, so this was a cakewalk, but Emmett now knew that it had all been an act. Hell, if we weren't already sleeping together, he'd probably think this was all an act too. But for him, and _only _for him, it was all real.

"Yeah, darlin'?" he charmingly smiled at me and though I could nearly feel the force of his lust from across the course, he remained where he was. Of course, he'd make me ask. That was so Emmett. I sighed.

"Come over here. I want to help you learn to putt better," I informed sweetly, smiling up at him like the big strong man he was. He puffed up, and looked like he would burst with happiness that I'd finally asked him to stand with me.

"You think you can help a strong man like me?" he asked, batting his eyes helplessly.

I had to bite my lip to keep the laugh from exploding. One of the things I loved so much about Emmett was that he cajoled, convinced and, most of the time, utterly forced me out of my personal comfort zone. I'd hated it at first, because I liked to rely on what I knew best and what had always worked on the men I knew. But of course Emmett knew that was all bullshit, and if he hadn't before, he did know, because I could barely keep up the pretense and most of the time I didn't even want to.

"You know it," I quipped back, and his smile was so bright, I wanted to sink into him and his dimples and never let go.

"Are we going to play anytime soon?" Jasper's annoyed voice broke into our little bubble.

"We've having a lesson," Emmett said good-naturedly, and Jasper groaned.

"That could go on for awhile," Edward added, "Emmett's pretty dense."

"Watch and learn," I announced, before my little game could disintegrate into the boys trying to one-up each other with lame insults. The rest of the group moved on, Bella shaking her head and laughing at the two of us. I supposed we were lucky that there was nobody behind us to see the show we were about to put on.

Emmett situated himself behind me, and his big hands closed over mine.

"First rule," I told him breathlessly, "is you've got to have the proper form."

"And what's that, Rosie?" Emmett asked, shifting just a hint closer, until there was nothing between us.

I cleared my throat and told myself that my knees were weak because of how turned on he was, not because of the evident tenderness in his voice.

"Slight bend in the waist and don't forge to stick your butt out," I told him cheekily, wiggling mine against him. I heard Emmett mumble a curse, and I couldn't help but smile in response.

"And what next?" he asked.

"You've got to grip the putter," I told him, glancing back and sending the sultriest glance in my arsenal his direction. Then I demonstrated, sliding my hands up and down the stick.

"You've got a real good technique," Emmett whispered in my ear. "Why don't we go back to the house and you can show me some more? Maybe have a practice session or two?"

The idea had its merits, I admitted, but really, we'd been humping like animals for three weeks, and though I was hardly tired of him, it was nice to be out and doing something else. This whole trip to the beach had really added a whole different dimension to our relationship and I felt like I was scrambling to catch up.

"I don't know," I said, turning to face him. Every time I saw him close up, it all came crashing back that we were finally together, here in this moment, and I couldn't deny that more than once I'd teared up. So many years wasted, so many tears cried, and all over what? Clearly he'd been longing for me the whole time, too.

He looked vaguely surprised and I tried not to look offended. "We just started playing. You want to bail and just go have sex?" I asked probably a lot louder than was wise. My voice was one of those that carried fairly easily, and a family a good three holes away glared at me. Whoops.

"No, no, no," Emmett backpedaled fast. "I like doing things with you besides just sex." The last word was nearly a hiss, and the vehemence at which he denied my allegation filled my heart with so much happiness I thought I might burst.

I'd thought it before, probably a million times, but now I knew it. He was in love with me. He'd do anything I wanted, just because I wanted to. And though it would take pliers and some good Chinese torture to make me admit it, I felt exactly the same way about him.

"Let's play the rest of the holes," I suggested, snaking a hand around his back and pinching his fine, fine ass.

I did this often, when he least expected it, because hearing this big handsome hunk yelp like a little girl was infinitely amusing.

"Shall we?" I asked pointedly, already beginning to walk away towards the next hole. "Maybe we can even catch up with them."

I didn't get out of his reach quite soon enough because he circled his fingers around my wrist, and pulled me back towards him.

"That was mean," Emmett told me, but he was definitely more amused than angry. "You teasing me like that and then leaving without even a kiss."

"Oh you're going to get a kiss. Just later."

"On the beach? With the fireworks?" He looked so eager that I didn't have the heart to tell him no. Or tell him that there was no way in hell I'd ever be able to last that long without kissing him.

"Come on," I tugged on his arm. "We need to find the others and finish our game. I was ahead and I want to know if I win."

"Oh you definitely win," Emmett told me, wrapping an arm around my waist and dropping a single kiss on the top of my head.

We finished the game, and like Emmett predicted, I definitely did win the mini golf game, though Edward did make a rather valiant stand toward the end.

As we emerged back onto the boardwalk, the sun was just about to set. I announced that I wanted a frozen lemonade for winning, and right as Emmett was about to reply, I heard his name. From a woman in the crowd.

My gaze narrowed.

He'd turned toward her, away from me, and I had to crane my neck around his oversized body so I could see who it was.

I gave a quick sigh of relief. She was middle-aged, still pretty, but definitely old for Emmett, even if he liked cougars—which of course, he _didn't_.

I was about to turn away, glad it was nothing, maybe only one of his mom's friends, when I heard what she was telling Emmett.

"Tanya's heartbroken, Emmett, and you know I don't have to tell you that. I will tell her you said hello, though."

_Tanya? Who the hell was this Tanya girl? _You'd better believe Emmett would be telling me about her approximately ten seconds after this interfering mother was gone.

Finally, she left, and I pounced. "Emmett," I inquired sweetly, "who was that?"

"Tanya's mother," he told me like I should know who he was talking about, and a bad feeling seeded in the bottom of my stomach.

I crossed my arms over my chest and barely refrained from glaring at him. "And who's Tanya?"

His eyes grew wide as if he realized what had just happened, and he'd just been autopilot, thinking of something else. Screwing me, probably. All while talking to dear, sweet _Tanya's _mother.

"Nobody," he mumbled, and quickly changed the subject to my frozen lemonade and the fireworks and barbeque upcoming tonight. I inwardly resolved to get to the bottom of this Tanya person as quickly as possible.

And I mean, who even was named _Tanya?_ That was just an ugly ass, ho-bag name.

I wouldn't be surprised at all if she was just some ugly ass, ho-bag ex-girlfriend.

At least, I hoped that was what she'd been.

Later that night, we were on the beach, Emmett's arms wrapped around me to ward off the wind from the ocean, about to watch the fireworks, and I decided to try again—catch him off his guard.

"So who was Tanya?" I asked as casually as I could, but I still felt him tense up behind me. Crap.

"Tanya," he responded guardedly, and it was definitely a statement, not a question.

"Yes."

"She's a girl I knew once." Emmett's voice was terribly final and I wanted to kick the sand in frustration.

I glanced around for some feminine support, but both Alice and Bella were with their respective Cullens, lounging around the fire, looking tired and full from the barbeque we'd cooked just an hour ago.

I wasn't going to get any help, so I'd just forge on alone.

"A girl you knew _how?_" I turned to look at him, and I swore I saw him grimace which was just bad news all around. There was definitely a story here that he wasn't telling me.

Emmett sighed. "Just a girl. Just leave it alone, Rosalie."

The panic at the bottom of my stomach was beginning to grow and the seed that had been planted earlier was sprouting.

"No," I told him stubbornly. "There's something you're not telling me."

Unfortunately, right as we were about to get to the meat of the conversation, the fireworks started exploding above us. I relaxed into Emmett's arms again, and I felt his tense muscles begin to loosen.

"This is nice," I said in a small voice, wondering what exactly we were supposed to do. Had that been a fight? Maybe it could have been, if I'd gotten warmed up, but there was no way I was going to fight through our 4th of July fireworks on the beach.

Secretly, I was a closet romantic, and with the waves crashing onto the sand, and the stars, and the fire crackling in front of us, the situation was about as good as it got, so I snuggled into Emmett and tried to forget about girls named Tanya.

I couldn't believe how long they lasted, and forty-five minutes later, even with Emmett holding me, I was shivering. We quickly cleaned up, and headed back to the house.

I yawned the whole way, almost compulsively, and Emmett smirked. "You really tired?"

"Yeah," I admitted, smiling at the expression on his face. He knew _exactly _why I was so tired. It had been a long month since I'd gotten a full night's sleep. Not that I was complaining exactly, but I was definitely tired.

Everyone else must have been tired too, because instead of chatting or watching TV, they all headed to their rooms and so did Emmett and I.

Crawling into bed next to Emmett felt good every single time—each time better than the last. I wondered if I'd ever get used to seeing his face smiling up at me every morning.

_Nope. Probably not._

It hit me then, as I watched him strip his shirt over those incredible pecs and abs, that I'd decided to trust him. Both trust _and _forgive him, actually. What use was it to hold onto something silly that had happened almost seven years ago when we were here together, now? Clearly he regretted his actions, and I highly doubted he'd have energy for any other woman this time around or even that he'd have the inclination.

Emmett slid into bed next to me, and I immediately snuggled up next to him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"You still cold?" he asked conscientiously, rubbing my arms to warm them up.

I shook my head. "No. I'm better." I felt his hands still on my arms and I waited for him to make the first sexual move, like either he or I had for the last month's worth of nights. But he didn't, and I didn't either.

His eyes bored into mine, and though my insides were trembling with nerves, I knew I had to break this moment and ask.

"Emmett," I said quietly, tracing patterns on his arm. "Would you please tell me who Tanya was?"

He let out a frustrated groan, and I wanted to kick myself for ruining our quiet, sweet moment, but every time he refused to tell me, the panic set in a little harder. Like I expected, he didn't answer, only closed his eyes and pretend to ignore me.

"Emmet, please," I begged, hating myself for doing it, but afraid that if I didn't find out the truth about Tanya, my newfound trust in him would just wither and die.

His eyes didn't open, and my stomach quivered with fear.

Finally, he answered. "I wish you would just drop it, Rosie. She's meaningless, I promise. I haven't seen her in months and I never intend to see her again."

I was definitely glad to hear it, but I wanted to hear more. Like what she had meant to him. If she had been important.

I hated the thought that maybe this Tanya had meant something close to what I'd meant to him. I wanted to be the only girl he'd ever loved. The one he pined for over the last seven years.

If it wasn't so important, I would have just let it go, but I couldn't.

So I asked again.

"Please," I whispered. "Please tell me. Trust me."

The request contorted the muscles in his face, and I knew that maybe a little part of him hated me now for not just letting it go.

He opened his eyes. "Rosalie. I promise you, it's meaningless. I just . . .I _can't_."

I wanted to cry. This was something big. Something maybe bigger than me.

Emmett must have sensed me pulling away before I did, and he caught me and held me close, looking intensely into my eyes. "I need you to promise you'll believe me."

"What?" I asked in confusion. "Believe what?"

"What I'm going to tell you."

I shook my head at him. "You know I'd believe whatever you say."

"No matter what," he insisted. "You have to swear to me that no matter what happens, you'll always know this is true."

"_What _is true?" I asked in mock exasperation. "Just tell me."

His head tipped forward, his forehead touching mine, almost in benediction.

"Rosalie," he murmured, "you mean everything to me. Promise me that you'll always know I love you."

I'd been so sure that I'd get an admission about Tanya that Emmett's real confession blew me away. It was the last thing I'd been expecting, and the best thing he could have said—aside from the truth about Tanya, of course.

"Oh, Emmett." My hand grazed his cheek and I cradled him against me. Words transcended the moment. All that I could feel was him and me, and how much I loved this man.

"I love you, too. I always have."

And I fell asleep in his arms, just like that, with no sex and no games. And almost complete honesty between us.

The next morning, we were all up early, packing to leave.

Finally, the house was clean and all the bags were packed in the car. Edward had lost some sort of bet with Emmett over the weekend, probably something to do with that mini golf game or how many hot dogs they'd managed to scarf down at the beach barbeque, and we were driving his Volvo back, and he and Bella had to ride with Alice and Jasper.

I climbed in the passenger seat, and watched from under my sunglasses as Edward walked over to Emmett's window and they consulted about something regarding routes and gas stops and all the stuff I wasn't interested in.

But there was something I _was _interested in that I knew Edward would know, and if I asked him in front of Emmett, I would hardly be going behind anyone's back.

"Edward?" I asked sweetly, "I was wondering if you could answer a quick question for me."

Emmett was so busy gloating that he was getting to drive the Volvo that he barely registered my question—or rather, he registered it way, _way _too late.

"Of course," Edward replied, smiling back at me, having no idea how much trouble I was about to get him in.

"Who's Tanya?"

Emmett's head snapped up and he met Edward's eyes. "Don't tell her," he ordered in a low, desperate voice. "God, I swear. Just don't. Please."

I'd never heard Emmett beg before, and in my stomach, the tendrils of fear began to grow again.

"Edward," I demanded, "tell me. Who was she?"

He looked at me helplessly. Emmett's head fell back against the seat, and I distinctly heard him mutter, "Fuck."

"You sure you want to know?" he asked, and I nodded. I had to know. There was no way around it.

"She was Emmett's wife."

* * *

Yes, I know, I am really really terrible. That was an awful cliffhanger.

On to my next story's teaser. First of all, I want y'all to keep in mind that this is going to be completely different from TDIG. I'm definitely ready for a change.

_"Everyone thought that Bella and Edward had the greatest love story. They were wrong."_

Ideas? Thouhts? Suppositions? Theories? Let me hear them!


	28. Chapter 28

**AN: Y'all knew the heartfail was coming and it's here. Thanks for all the awesome reviews last chapter--it's the most I've ever gotten on a chapter of TDIG. I just can't reply to everyone individually, and I'm sorry for that. If you had a really specific question I did try to respond but I may have missed a few of you. So thanks to all reviewers!**

**Songs are up on my profile and thanks to my betas, CallistoLexx and Tamelaine. And also to the Twinster, Angel & jdsk for being fantastic cheerleaders.**

* * *

RPOV

I sat back in the front passenger seat in shocked silence as Emmett drove out of Cannon Beach like we'd suddenly been transported to a NASCAR speedway.

The cabin of the car was way, way too small and I felt like I couldn't breathe. The suddenly-imparted knowledge that Emmett had been _married_ was thick and hard in my chest and I felt like I was slowly, painfully being suffocated.

I opened and closed my mouth about ten times, wanting to yell and cry and scream at him, but misery and pain had my throat closed off. Never in a million years had I pictured Tanya as Emmett's _wife_. I almost choked even thinking the word.

While I'd spent years and years pining over Emmett, discarding every man as not living up to the high standards he'd stuck me with, he'd been _married_.

While walking in on him with Lauren had been definitely humiliating, this was so much worse. I closed my eyes, and clenched my fists together so hard I could feel my fingernails digging half-moons into my skin.

Gravel sprayed behind the car as we skidded onto the main highway heading back to Portland. I didn't look in the rearview mirror because I knew that we'd long lost Edward in the Mercedes. As I'd sat in shock in the passenger seat, Edward's words echoing in the air, Emmett had jammed the key in the ignition, fired the engine and had torn off like we were an extra in _The Fast and the Furious: Emmett Fucks Up Big Time._

There was no way Jasper could keep up and there was probably no reason he'd want to. Like he always did, Emmett had made the important decision and had driven off before I could demand to be let out of the car so I didn't have to share the same air.

He'd decided our relationship was over when he'd made out with Lauren.

He'd decided to lead me on when we'd met up again.

He'd decided to lie about Tanya despite my pleas for the truth.

And now he'd purposefully separated me from my friends. Divide and conquer.

I clenched my teeth and railed at him in my mind. _Asshole jerkface nutjob._

'Cause I certainly wasn't going to say a single damn word to him. We were going to pass this entire car ride, at least an hour and a half to Portland—wait, probably more like an hour at the rate that Emmett was going—in an utterly disdainful and angry silence.

Really, I was not happy about this, but at least it would be better than having to actually speak to him. The lesser of two evils you could say, because truth is, I wasn't going to be happy about anything. In fact, I'd never, ever, admit it to him, but I was sitting here, in stoic silence, and my heart felt like it was cracking in two. It had hurt a lot when I'd caught Emmett with Lauren but somehow, this second betrayal was so much worse. I should have been smarter, but I'd lost my head and my heart again to a charming smile and a pair of incredible dark blue eyes.

"Rosalie," Emmett began hesitantly, actually taking his foot off the gas, and shooting an incredibly wary look my direction. And he definitely should be wary, 'cause I was in the mood to castrate the hell out of him.

I crossed my arms across my chest and pointedly gazed out the window like it was the most fascinating scenery I'd ever seen. But I couldn't even focus on anything that was flying by. It was all a big painful blur. I closed my eyes and tried to focus so hard on the pain that I wouldn't be tempted to actually answer him.

"Rosie," Emmett said again, and this time his voice was stronger, more determined. "Rose. Talk to me."

I almost shook my head, but that would be responding, so I held myself rigidly straight, giving no movement that Emmett, stupid as he was, might interpret as a response.

And, of course, he took my complete silence as a sign to keep going.

"I should have told you, really. Every time you asked, I couldn't figure out why you wouldn't just drop it. But, the moment Edward told you, I knew. . .I knew it should have been me telling you."

I considered his words, albeit briefly. I decided if this was his way of apologizing, then he had a long way to go.

"Rosalie, talk to me. I love you."

This would have been the perfect moment for a derisive snort, but of course, any noise or movement was out of the question. I mourned the missed opportunity for a second before refocusing back on the pain that was swelling exponentially through my chest.

There would be no more early morning seductions, no more Emmett ripping my panties in his eagerness. No more secret smiles when our eyes met across a dinner table. No more pancake breakfasts with me in his t-shirt and boxers and him naked.

I wanted desperately to bury my head in my hands and sob for all the things I now knew about grownup Emmett that I would miss.

But I couldn't. Not in front of him. In front of him, not one tear would fall. I would rather die than let him see that he'd totally wasted my heart.

"Please forgive me, Rose. Talk to me."

Like hell I was going to, but I really wished he'd shut up because with every contrite and apologetic word he said, my heart broke a little more, and the more I wanted to scream and yell at him.

"Please."

I broke. "God damn it," I yelled at him, suddenly tearing my attention from the blurry trees flashing by the window. I stared straight at him. He looked a little stunned by the sudden response, but the damn had broken and I couldn't hold back now. It was all going to come gushing out.

"You bastard," I screamed, my voice at such a high decibel it was a miracle all the windows were intact.

"Maybe we should talk about this calmly," Emmett ventured. His eyes were a bit wild and panicked looking, but I couldn't stop or calm down. It was all bubbling up.

"You _lied_. To me. Again." I spat the words out in disgust. "And I was stupid enough, so stupid, to believe you. That you cared."

"I do care," he insisted, and the complete honesty in his voice caused a small fault crack to open in the middle of my heart. I wanted to double over in pain, but I also wanted to yell some more. It was a hard call, but I picked the latter.

"Do _not _lie to me. Do _not_," I screeched. And suddenly, I couldn't stand it anymore. All his protestations of innocence and apologies. I just wanted space. I wanted to stare into nothingness and not think at all.

"Let me out of the car," I said into the sudden angry silence. "Let me out now."

"No," Emmett said levelly, and I hated the smugness in his voice. He knew the doors were locked. He knew he wouldn't stop. And there was absolutely zero I could do about it.

"Let me out," I said. "This is kidnapping."

"Don't be ridiculous," he scoffed. "You got into this car on a purely voluntary basis."

"That was before I knew what you'd lied about. Who knows what else you've lied about? I should _never _have trusted you," I yelled.

"Yes, you should have." Emmett's voice was definitely inching up in volume, and soon we'd be in a full-fledged screaming match. Not that I minded. It was a nice distraction from the pain was spreading to my whole body. "I didn't tell you what Tanya was, but I didn't lie to you either."

"You swore I could trust you. You swore that you loved me," I flung back at him, no longer caring how my words cut or hurt him. I only wanted to inflict on him the pain I was feeling.

"I do love you," Emmett bellowed. "God damn it, Rose. Does it matter that much that I was married?"

The words echoed in the space of the Volvo. I stared straight ahead, suddenly sobered by Emmett's question.

Why, in fact, did I care so much that Emmett had been married? Was it my pride? Was I angry that he hadn't told me? It was a lie, but at least it was a lie of omission.

Through the blur of the tears in my eyes I saw we were coming up to a small town. The air in the car had become thin, almost, and I could feel myself nearly gasping for breath.

"Please," I begged, feeling the tears begin to fall. "Please let me out."

Emmett was silent for a good minute. We passed the town.

Finally he spoke up and his voice was dead and full of the pain I was feeling. I supposed I should be glad I'd managed to inflict as much on him as he had on me, but all the knowledge did was make my heart ache more. "You hate me that much? That you'd rather get out in the middle of nowhere rather than be in the same car as me?"

Put that way, it did sound rather ludicrous and desperate, but all I knew was that I was on the verge of a breakdown and I could not let him see. Anything was worth protecting my pride. Even potentially having to hitchhike.

"Yes." My answer was as final as I could make it.

Emmett sighed heavily, and there was so much regret and pain in it that my heart constricted and I almost opened my mouth to take it back but I knew I couldn't. I'd made my choice, for good or for bad, and it was time to pay the price of that choice.

As he stopped the car on the side of the road, gravel flying again, I wondered, almost prosaically, if I would ever see him again. Probably, I decided. Maybe in passing. But it would never be the same. I closed my eyes against the fresh wave of pain as the car pulled to a complete stop and Emmett hit the trunk button without saying a word, his mouth set in a grim line.

He turned to me. "There you go. Happy?"

I wanted to say no. I really, really did. I wanted to tell him that no, it had all been a big mistake and that I forgave him.

And that's when it hit me. I didn't. I didn't forgive him at all. Not for this time. And certainly not for Lauren.

I nodded briefly, opened the door and stepped out onto the side of the road, hefting my purse over my shoulder, and all the while taken up with a single thought.

I'd thought I'd forgiven him that morning so many weeks ago, after the Foo Fighters concert. But I hadn't. How could I, really? Sex and a reunion couldn't possibly erase those memories, couldn't possibly alter them. They were static—almost a part of me by now. I had told myself that I'd forgiven him because despite my better judgment, I still craved him and I'd decided to screw sensibility. But reality had caught back up with me and now I was paying, in spades, for that mistake.

As I trudged back around the car and hefted my suitcase out, I waited for Emmett to get out of the car and make one last ditch effort to stop me. I even dragged the suitcase out as slowly as possible, taking my time to extend the handle and set it on the ground. I could barely make out the outline of his head through the tinted glass of the back window, and not once did he even turn around. He stared resolutely forward, no doubt so angry with me that he would be glad never to see me again.

Fine. He hadn't really ever chased after me in the Lauren aftermath and no doubt he wouldn't do it now. Old dogs rarely learned new tricks.

I held my head high and pushed the trunk down hard. It banged closed and about ten seconds later, Emmett was gone.

I stared at the disappearing silver streak until it was totally out of sight. My tears had begun to fall in earnest, and thankfully, nobody stopped as I just stood on the side of the road and bawled my eyes out.

Finally, the tears began to subside, though the ache inside was still just as strong. I wished that I could cry so hard and long that I could somehow use up all that pain, but I knew from losing Emmett once that getting rid of the hard lump under my breastbone was difficult. And now it would probably be impossible.

I lifted my head and knew what I had to do.

* * *

BPOV

I was really surprised to see that Rosalie wasn't home when we finally pulled in the drive. Something had been bothering Edward the whole trip home and he'd been uncharacteristically silent, not even responding to my jokes about the way that Emmett was driving his car.

Finally I decided he must be tired or having an off day and I shut up. No need to pester him when he so obviously didn't want to be pestered.

I'd actually managed to almost fall into a fitful sleep, mirroring the soundly sleeping Jasper and Alice in the backseat, when we'd pulled into our townhouse parking lot.

Edward was still obviously in a bad mood—the driving hadn't helped, and I got all my stuff out of the car and into the house as unobtrusively as possible.

When we realized that Rosalie and Emmett hadn't showed, I thought I heard him swear under his breath.

When I got a call from Rosalie herself ten minutes later, I thought for a second that Edward was going to wrench the phone out of my hand before I could even answer it.

"Rose?" I asked, all the while keeping my eyes glued onto Edward's worried sick expression. Something was going on that I didn't know about, and I didn't like it.

"I need you to come pick me up." Her voice didn't even sound like Rose. It was muffled and unbearably sad.

"Where are you? Emmett's? Are you okay?"

"I'm at a café in Timber. And no. Not really."

"Where's Emmett?" I asked, growing increasingly alarmed and I saw Edward's eyes grow dark and even more troubled. He'd known that this might happen. I could tell. He'd known and that's why he'd been so upset on the trip back.

"Not here," she said shortly. "Call me when you get close, and I'll give you a better idea of where I am."

"Did Emmett just leave you?" I asked and Edward's eyes took on a horrified look.

"No. I'll tell you about it when you get here. Just get here. Fast."

I was a little gratified that she'd called me instead of Alice, but my sense of gratitude was definitely short-lived.

I snapped the phone shut and gave Edward a look that told him everything he needed to know.

"That was Rose," I said, even though he'd known exactly who it was.

"Yes," Edward said dully, definitely not surprised.

"It appears that she and Emmett have been separated somehow. She's in Timber, waiting for me to come get her. I suggest you call Emmett and ask him why the hell he left Rosalie in the middle of fucking nowhere." I could feel myself growing angry. Why hadn't he told me what was going on?

"Yes," he said again. He looked down at the floor and in that second I felt a huge gap blossom between us. I suddenly had an idea of all the things he hadn't told me. I didn't know what they all were, but I knew enough to know that his being so secretive wasn't okay.

"Edward, talk to me," I demanded. "Tell me what is going on."

He looked old and very tired. "If I told you, you'd hate me."

"So you are saying you _knew _Emmett was going to leave Rosalie?"

"Yes." That one word, so clipped and precise and awful, was beginning to make me crazy.

"How soon did you know?"

"Right before we left the beach." Edward sighed and I hated myself in that moment for being so stupid as to miss these big dark secretive places he hid inside of himself. How had I let myself fall in love with someone who didn't want me to know him at all?

"And you didn't tell me?" My voice rose a bit hysterically and he winced.

"Bella, you need to calm down."

"You're telling me that you knew something awful was going to happen between Emmett and Rose—my _best friend_—before we even left the beach, and you didn't say anything to me or even try stop him? And you want me to calm down?" I was definitely yelling now, but everything was so surreal that I almost didn't feel like it was really happening. This couldn't be real. Edward would never have done those things. He was kind and generous and loyal to a fault. Even to his girlfriend's best friend.

"Bella," Edward said, and this time his voice had a decidedly patronizing edge to it. "You really do need to calm down. This is none of your concern." His face had shuttered, and it was a complete blank to me. The man in front of me was a sudden stranger.

"No. Rosalie called me. She asked me to get her. And I'm going." I turned around and walked toward the front to get my purse. All my bags were standing unpacked in the living room but I didn't care. I had to go find Rosalie and figure out how everything had suddenly gone to hell.

I was beginning to think that all the happiness that we'd ate and lived and breathed the last month or so had just been a temporary insanity. This was real life and this was the real Edward that I was finally seeing.

"You're not going anywhere. I'll go get Rosalie," he ordered, as he followed me into the foyer.

I spun around and poked a finger into his broad chest. "You, mister, are not my boss. I can do whatever I want, and right now, I am going to go get Rosalie."

"Please be reasonable, Bella. Obviously you're not involved. You don't know anything. I think it's better if I go and contain. . .the damage. The fallout, so to speak."

He was referring to my best friend as nuclear waste.

I blinked hard, hoping that somehow all of this would disappear. But no, I'd already woken up from the dream and instead of my warm bed, I'd been dumped right into the middle of a nightmare.

"What the _hell _are you talking about?" I exclaimed. "You are being totally insane. Tell me what is going on. Right now."

"I just can't," Edward said and he didn't even sound the tiniest bit sorry.

"So your whole act of caring about Rosalie as a friend—that didn't extend to you protecting her from whatever kind of mad wild rage Emmett went off on."

Edward chuckled humorlessly and I hated it. I wanted my old Edward back—even if he hadn't really existed.

I crossed my arms over my chest and waited out his silence. I wanted an answer and I knew I deserved one.

"Not an act necessarily. But I guarantee it wasn't like that." He seemed to think this was all nonchalant and yet I couldn't stem the panic that was rising inside of me.

I also couldn't stop the words that came out of mouth. I didn't even think—I just spoke. "And what about me? Was that just an act too?"

The silence stretched between us. I'd been so sure, as I spoke, that he'd immediately deny my accusation. That he'd grab me up in his arms like he always did and we'd laugh all the anger and the pain and the frustration away.

But he didn't. He just stood there, silent like a statue. And then finally, after what seemed like a million seconds, during which my stomach sank to the floor in despair, he gave a little half shrug.

And that was my answer. He hadn't really cared. It had an all been a stupid act, put on by someone who was good at acting. His normally bright, charming green eyes looked dull and dead and I couldn't look at them. Deep down, I'd known this was all too good to be true. Edward, his good looks, his charming personality and successful business. His interest in me.

I felt my knees sag and it was all I could do to wrench the front door open, duck outside, and then slam it shut right in Edward's face.

Tears blinded me as I ran to the car and I dug hopelessly for a good five minutes in my purse for the keys. Edward did not follow me and that fact, though I kept telling myself that I didn't _care _if he followed me, only made me cry harder. By the time I actually got in the car, I had to sit there and let the tears leak out of me for a long time before I felt like my hysteria had finally subsided.

I was just about to pull out of the parking space, still wiping tears from my eyes, when I saw Edward open the door and walk down the stairs. He got in the car and drove away and I felt a terrible finality. I'd probably never see him again.

This thought only made me break down yet again, until I felt like I'd cried every tear I could. My throat was dry and sore, and I decided I might as well venture back into the house and grab a water bottle before I left. Driving dehydrated didn't sound like the best idea. I'd probably have to dodge Alice, but the benefit seemed worth the risk.

Naturally, Alice was sitting in the living room, staring worriedly at her cell phone when I came inside, and she pounced on me.

"Oh my god, Bella, you've been crying. What's wrong?"

I shook my head numbly. I didn't want to vocalize what had just happened. That would only make it more real and I'd burst into tears again.

"Did something happen with Edward?" She definitely sounded concerned, and I supposed she should be. I probably looked like hell.

"Yes," I managed to croak out. "Have you heard from Rosalie?"

"Yeah, she just called. She wanted to know why you aren't answering your phone."

I tried to muster up a molecule of guilt that I hadn't left Portland yet to pick up Rosalie, but in my current state it was honestly pretty difficult to think of anything but the way Edward's eyes had looked as I'd slammed the door in his face.

"I'll call her," I offered, but there was no conviction in my voice. I didn't want to drive to Timber, wherever the hell that was, and pick up a seething Rosalie. I wanted to crawl in my bed and try to forget the last month or so because right now, it hurt too much to remember.

Alice didn't seem to pick up that I was reluctant and so I dialed my phone. Rose picked up on the second ring.

"Have you left yet?" she demanded.

I sighed. "No. I'm just about to."

"Well, don't bother. I'm just going to take a cab," Rose snapped back, clearly annoyed, and I felt the tears beginning to threaten to fall all over again.

She hung up and I palmed my phone nervously, wanting nothing more to throw it against the hardwood floor in anger and frustration.

"Why do you have to go pick up Rose? Where is she?" Alice's voice didn't have her usual chirping quality and was instead rather contemplative.

"God, I _don't know_," I nearly yelled back at her, angry that Edward hadn't told me and not caring anymore that I took it out on Alice.

She looked rather shocked, but seemed to take my sudden attitude in stride.

I turned around and stomped towards my room, no longer caring if I was acting like a petulant child. All I wanted to do was bury my head in my pillow and cry.

"Bella?" Alice asked questioningly, and I could hear her following me.

I whirled around. "Why don't you just leave me _alone_. Go ask Jasper what the hell his brothers are thinking," I sniped venomously, and shut a door in someone's face for the second time this afternoon.

I saw a sliver of Alice's face before the door closed and it was pure white, and I knew I'd done something but I didn't care enough to open it again and ask her what was wrong.

I moved over to my bed and curled into my pillow. The sheets still smelled like Edward and I felt a single tear drip into the cotton, followed by many, many more.

* * *

APOV

I stared at Bella's door for a good minute, not knowing what to do or what to say even. She looked like hell and Rose had sounded like hell, and I had a terrible feeling about what was going to happen when I went to speak to Jasper.

We were like dominoes and we were all falling, one by one. My turn was next, and Bella's words had only confirmed what I'd already sensed.

Finally, I turned and walked down the hall, knowing Jasper would be on the couch, on his laptop, or watching TV.

I was right. He had ESPN on, but it was muted and he was simply staring into space.

The feeling that I knew what was coming grew stronger. I felt helpless in the face of it—like somehow it was a wave comprised of something much more powerful than my feelings for Jasper. Or Bella's feelings for Edward. Or Rosalie's for Emmett.

"Jasper," I said, quietly, and he turned around, smiling at me like he always did, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. They were cold. Dark.

"I have to go," he said. "Emmett called me."

I nodded. "Rose called too."

"And she's okay?"

"Taking a cab back," I said contemplatively, as I shifted a coffee table book nervously, trying to get it perfectly parallel to the lines of the table. Anything but focus on the hideously familiar way that Jasper was looking at me. I should have known it was coming again. In retrospect, I'd been so incredibly stupid. This was inevitable.

"Good." Jasper seemed distracted and it struck me that he was probably trying to figure out what exactly to say.

I didn't even think about it before I said it. "I love you."

Every muscle in his body froze, and I knew I'd done the right thing, albeit the most painful thing. I'd _had _to know, and here was the proof. He didn't love me. He didn't want to. He wanted to leave me.

"Alice," he began and I cut him off. "Don't. Just don't. Don't give me some pity-party sympathy crap. Just go."

He opened his mouth to say something and I headed him off. "No. Just go," I spit out.

He picked up his laptop case and walked out the front door. I told myself that I was glad I'd made the choice this time, but in reality, it didn't hurt any less. At least though, I was finally in charge of my own destiny, and I knew exactly what I wanted to do with that power.

I couldn't stay here and listen to Bella crying in her room, or Rosalie ranting.

I had to go too.

* * *

**AN: I'm not saying where Alice is going b/c it's kind of a big secret--but there is kind of a hint in the last chapter.**

**I want to give a big congrats and round of applause to Alaskangirl who bid and won my services in the Support Stacie auction. She paid an amazing $225 and I will be writing her a 10,000 word short novella, that will eventually be shared with you guys as well. YAY!!!!!**


	29. Chapter 29

**AN: Again, I have to say. . .sorry this took so long. BUT I did write a completely standalone mini-story/novella/long one-shot (as you can see, I have no idea what to call it) for Alaskangirl, who won it in the Support Stacie auction. It's called The Accidental Kiss and it will get posted, one chapter at a time, starting in a few days. So look for that! And for everyone who predicted complete utter fail for TDIG, all I am going to say is this: there are three chapters left after this and three couples. Do the math :)**

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* * *

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EPOV

I hated myself.

More than anything else on earth, I'd wanted to be able to force the words out of my mouth, but my vocal cords had been totally paralyzed with terror.

It was not so much a fear of the words itself, as it was a fear of the kind of power that Bella would gain over me if she knew I loved her. And so I had let her stumble out the door, in tears, and in the kind of pain I wished I could show to the world.

I'd waited until she was gone and then I'd climbed in my car and left.

Ever since that day, even though it was almost two weeks later, a horrible, numbing pain had enveloped me. I'd gone through the motions of living, but I wasn't really. I'd lost the only thing worth living for, and it was all my fault.

I never should have bet Emmett he could get Lauren back in high school.

I never should have kept my mouth shut about it.

I never should have told Rosalie about Emmett's ill-fated and extremely short marriage.

I sighed as I unlocked the front door. There were a lot of things I shouldn't have done, and now that the worst had come to pass, a lot of things I should be trying to fix. But really, all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and never leave.

Of course, my bed still smelled like Bella, and sleeping (or rather not sleeping) had become an exercise in torture.

I walked into the townhouse and purposefully avoided looking at the spot near the entryway where I'd almost taken Bella that first time on the floor. Some things were just too painful to remember.

The TV was on low and Jasper and Emmett were slumped on opposite sides of the couch, staring at it, but clearly not seeing or hearing anything that was going on around them.

Ever since the disaster two weeks, the three of us had barely spoken beyond the necessary words of living. We weren't mad at each other—not exactly—but we were all so wrapped up in our own misery that even speaking seemed impossible sometimes.

I leaned against the wall and watched them for a good minute before Jasper looked up, startled.

"I didn't know you were home," he mumbled, not even bothering to meet my eyes. Even though nobody had expressed it, I knew that they both blamed me for Three Mile Island, and I reasoned that their angry resentment was well-deserved.

And even though I acknowledged that to myself, some masochistic part of me wanted them to say it—to tell me just how angry they were at how much I'd fucked up their lives. So I baited them.

"Jasper, have you talked to Alice yet?" I asked ever so casually, and as I watched, his face looked like it had been hit by a 2 x 4.

"No," he nearly growled at me and still I didn't stop. As dysfunctional as I was, I still knew that it was wrong. We had to fix this. Sitting here and moping accomplished nothing.

"You should," I told him. "You love her."

Emmett snorted, shocked. "You know," he added, in the same conversational tone I'd used, "when Jasper kills you, I'm not going to hold him back."

"I know," I said.

Jasper's eyes had narrowed and I couldn't remember the last time he'd looked so viciously pissed off.

"I don't think that's any of your business," he said slowly.

"Probably not," I acknowledged. "But you should tell her anyway. She loves you, and it's not fair to her to just let it end this way."

"I know," he spat out. "Don't you think I already know that? If she would only see me. I don't even know where the hell she is."

"You don't?" I asked, rather surprised. "I thought she was holed up in the house with Rose and Bella, presenting a unified front."

I was rather impressed with myself that I'd managed to get out Bella's name without choking on the wave of misery that overwhelmed me when I even _thought _about her.

"She's not."

"Oh." I wasn't sure what to say to that. I hadn't expected Alice to simply disappear and this put a crimp in my plans. I'd figured out as I drove home that it would probably be easiest to crack Jasper. After all, he wasn't involved in that whole mess with the past and Emmett and Rosalie and Lauren and well. . .I wanted to start with something easier. Something that meant I didn't have to go confess and possibly get mauled for life by Rose.

Just when I was beginning to think I'd have to try another tactic, Emmett spoke up, and usual, he said more than enough to set Jasper off.

"I don't see why you don't," he said bitterly. "You can just apologize, and likely she'll trust you again."

Jasper shot to his feet, and I could tell by the way he was glancing between Emmett and I that he wasn't sure who he wanted to attack—but by god, he wanted to attack someone.

"Just leave me alone," he ground out. "It isn't my fault that you fucked up, Emmett, and don't even get me started on you, Edward—you've screwed things up for all of us more than once."

Finally, I thought dispassionately, he was at least saying what he felt, instead of brooding about it alone and silent. The words stung, of course, but they were true, and that's why I was doing it. I had undone it all. I had to fix it again.

"Exactly," I argued, knowing I was seriously risking my own health by continuing, "you made a single, simple mistake. You didn't tell Alice you loved her, right?"

Jasper frowned. "It's not that simple," he said sullenly. "I don't love her. And I _don't _want to talk about this." But he remained where he was.

I rolled my eyes. "Why you are lying?" I insisted. Emmett's eyes opened wide at my question and Jasper's fists clenched tightly together at his sides.

"I'm not _lying_," Jasper insisted. "Everyone just assumes that I did. But I never did."

I sighed and sat down in the recliner in the corner. "You totally did. It's okay, you know, to be scared. I'm scared."

"You're scared of being in love?" Jasper scoffed.

Nodding, I examined the fraying threads on the chair's arm. I couldn't look my brothers in the eye when I told them that I was a chicken shit pansy, but I could maybe admit it if doing so would fix anything.

"Wow," Jasper mumbled. "I guess you are."

I was glad I'd managed to convince him but I didn't want this to be about me—yet.

Even though my insides about died with embarrassment, I was just able to look up at Jasper. "You need to be honest with her."

"I was."

"No," I suddenly yelled. "NONE of us were honest. You weren't honest, I wasn't honest and for god's sake, Emmett certainly wasn't honest."

There was dead quiet in the room after my outburst. I wondered, almost idly, if I was about to get my ass kicked.

Emmett's jaw had dropped and Jasper's expression had turned from one of anger to one of contemplation. Good, I was making them think. That was definitely a first.

Finally, after a good five minutes of silence, Jasper spoke up. "You're right. I know you're right. My head knows it. But I'm just. . .fucking terrified."

I told myself that even though we were terrible at sharing our feelings, at least we were trying. Plus one for us.

I was about to open my mouth to offer advice, when Emmett spoke up instead.

"Dude, you don't want to have regrets. I know it's scary. I know it's tough to come to grips with it. But if you want her, you've got to take her."

"How can I?" Jasper asked and he sounded so anguished I hated myself even more, though I'd realized that the problem with Jasper lay inside of him. Not me.

"She's not for me," he continued before we could answer. "I've always known that. But I can't stay away."

This time it was Emmett who rolled his eyes. "That tells you something right there, bro. You can't stay away—that _means _something." Emmett was so emphatic that I knew he knew what he was talking about, and I hoped that Jasper would recognize that too.

"I don't know. . .she's all wrong for me."

"Says who?" I challenged.

That stumped him because he didn't say a word, just stared at the floor.

"Exactly," I said triumphantly. "You can't really say she is or she isn't. Your heart tells you what she means to you—not your head."

"Don't overthink it," Emmett added.

"Even if I wanted her," Jasper exploded, "I couldn't have her. She's _gone_."

"I could find her," I promised recklessly. "Rather, I can find out where she went."

Both Jasper and Emmett stared at me. "Trust me. I can find out."

Emmett shot me an incredulous look and changed the subject. "What are you going to say to her when Edward here finds her?"

Jasper shrugged. "Beg her to take me back, I suppose."

"No," Emmett told him. "You need a plan. Something a hell of a lot better than begging."

"I shouldn't beg?" Jasper looked confused and I didn't blame him but apparently Emmett was going to relate some of the advice he'd gathered from what seemed like a lifetime of womanizing.

"No," I agreed. "You should tell her how you really feel and apologize. . ."

"Dude," Emmett interrupted. "A big grand gesture."

Jasper thought that over for a minute—personally I thought that big grand gestures were overrated, but if that was what it took, I'd do ten to get Bella back.

"I know what to do," he finally said. "I just need to know where she is."

Jasper looked straight at me and I knew I was going to have to make good on my promise.

"I can do it. I can find out where she is."

"Sure," Emmett openly scoffed. "_None _of them are going to talk to you."

He had a point. I wouldn't exactly be welcomed with open arms, but I did have something to say that Rosalie might be interested in hearing. And if I could get her to listen to me for even fifteen seconds, maybe, just _maybe, _I could get her to tell me where Alice was.

"Emmett," I began, knowing I was going to be going up against a huge road block. "You need to let me tell Rosalie about Lauren and the bet. Otherwise, I'll never be able to find out where Alice is."

"No," Emmett said instantly, his voice rising. "Absolutely not."

I really didn't want to beg him for anything. Really, I just wanted to reason him through why it was a good idea Rosalie finally discovered the truth, but I had a feeling I'd be begging. _Anything_, I swore to myself, _anything to get Bella back._

"Come on, Emmett," I said, "she needs to know."

"She said she _didn't_, that it didn't matter anymore," he argued bitterly.

"Yeah, and obviously that was bullshit," Jasper added.

"Obviously," Emmett snapped back. "Thank you for pointing that out."

"And dude, you should have told her about Tanya."

Emmett glared at me and I was only momentarily distracted from my ultimate goal with worries about my own personal safety.

"You shouldn't have," he growled. "It wasn't your place. Why tell her about Tanya and not Lauren?"

I shrugged. "She asked. I wasn't going to lie anymore. And she's _never _asked about Lauren."

"Duh," Emmett roared, "she has no idea you even _know _about Lauren. And guess what? It's all your damn fault."

Finally. Finally, he admitted it. I closed my eyes and let the guilt wash over me.

"Em, it's not just Edward's fault. You kissed her, after all," Jasper argued, and before I could open my eyes, I heard a huge crash.

Emmett had tackled Jasper onto the coffee table and had totally snapped the thin wooden legs. I sighed. That was the fourth coffee table Esme had bought us this year alone.

Sighing, I got up and grabbed Emmett's collar, pulling him back off Jasper with all my strength before they destroyed anything else.

"Stop it," I ordered. "We're supposed to be working together, not tearing each other apart. We need to stick together."

Emmett sullenly stuck his bottom lip out—or maybe it was swollen from Jasper's fist—I couldn't tell. I took a short detour into the kitchen to grab a pack of frozen peas just in case, and tossed them in his direction.

"Thanks man," Emmett muttered, clearly not happy that I had stopped him from destroying our brother.

"Listen," I barked. "Emmett. Jasper was right. I'm partially to blame. And so are you. But you need to stop dwelling on the past and there's no way any of us can stop if you don't come clean. And by coming clean, I mean letting me tell Rose."

"Why you?" Emmett asked, clearly still annoyed.

"I'm the one who started the ball rolling. Yeah, you agreed and did it, but I not only convinced you to do it, I led Rose right to where you were."

I braced myself for the impact, and when Emmett came charging, I just let it happen, not even trying to shield my face from the blows that he was landing.

The physical pain, I told myself philosophically, was a good stand-in for the mental and emotional anguish I'd caused.

I felt rather than saw Jasper drag Emmett off of me, who was swearing a blue streak.

"God damn it," Emmett yelled. "Just let me kill him."

Unlike before, Jasper actually had to keep holding Emmett. Slowly I stood up, holding my aching jaw.

"Emmett, I'm sorry. I never should have done it. It wasn't my place. I caused a lot of problems that I couldn't understand. But let me fix it. Please let me fix it."

I knew it would come to the begging and the moment I said 'please,' Emmett stopped struggling in Jasper's grasp.

He looked defeated and I hated myself even more in that moment.

"Fine," he said, his voice so full of latent pain that I nearly winced.

He turned and walked away, out of the living room, and I heard a door slam shut behind him.

"He'll be okay," Jasper said, coming over to me. "Are you okay, though?"

I took a deep breath and assessed. "Yes. I'm going to go find Rosalie."

"She's not going to want to see you," he cautioned.

"I know."

"She's going to take you apart."

"I know."

"Well," Jasper said, cracking a smile. "Good luck then."


	30. Chapter 30

**AN: I'm a writing demon guys. . .actually I just really want to finish! I've posted the first chapter of The Accidental Kiss and Chapter 2 should go up on Monday so go check it out!  
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**Songs are on my profile and thanks to my beta, CallistoLexx for being super speedy and to Angel & the Twinster for reassuring me that NO, this is not too short.**

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EPOV

I stared at the door to the girls' townhouse and tried to tell myself that really, I didn't need Jasper's words of luck. It would be fine. It _had _to be fine.

I renewed my determination and knocked firmly on the door; even if it scared the shit out of me, I would _make _it fine.

Holding my breath while I waited for someone to come to the door, I prayed that it would be Rosalie. Not Bella. Anyone but Bella.

Of course, the door opened and there she was, standing on the other side.

"Hello, Bella," I said stiffly, and all the blood drained from her face. She looked tired and something else I couldn't place for a second. Finally it dawned on me, as we stood there, staring at each other. It was her eyes—they were terribly, unbearably sad.

She didn't recover from my unexpected presence very quickly, and when she did, she asked in a tight voice, "What are you doing here?"

"I need to see Rosalie."

I'd known what my words were going to do to her, but I knew that at this point, there wasn't anything else I could say. It wasn't time yet for us to talk. I had to fix my mistakes and apologize before I could possibly confess to her, but I still hated the way she froze, like I had physically slapped her.

"Rosalie?" she managed to croak out.

Rose, who could probably hear her name if it was being uttered on the other side of the universe, came walking into the entryway.

"Did someone say my name?" she asked the stone-still Bella, who was gaping at me in abject shock.

"I did," I offered, and unobtrusively managed to shove my foot into the doorway before Rosalie could slam it closed and I never managed to talk to her.

"You," Rosalie growled, appearing next to Bella. "What do you want?"

"I need to talk to you," I said as politely as I could, forcing my temper back in check.

"Me? Don't you mean you need to tell Bella what the hell is going on?"

So the lioness had come to defend her cub. Bella opened and closed her mouth, clearly torn as to what she wanted to say. Finally, she flung at me, "I'm sure Edward has _nothing _to say that I'd want to hear."

"And I feel the same way," Rosalie declared haughtily. "You need to get off our property."

I felt desperation rising inside of me. "No," I insisted. "I need to tell you about Lauren."

That got Rose's attention fast. She still didn't want to talk to me, but she was curious now.

A single tear trickled down Bella's cheek and I wanted to grab her and insist that even though it looked like I was there for Rosalie, really I was there for _her_. But before I could, she turned abruptly and left.

I tried to focus, and not on the woman who I wanted to follow with every molecule in my body.

"Can I come inside?" I asked hopefully.

"No," she snapped. "You can tell me right here, right now."

"Okay," I told her calmly, taking a deep breath and hoping that Bella would take me back even if I was seriously maimed and without balls. "It was my fault that Emmett kissed Lauren in high school."

The truth, surprisingly, seemed easy enough to say when it came down to it. However, I was sure that hearing it, especially out of the blue and after all these years, wasn't that easy.

RPOV

My heart was beating so hard that I could barely hear Edward's words—barely, but I did hear them, and then I couldn't have forgotten them even if I'd wanted to. They echoed in my head, pounding their significance into my brain.

_Edward _was the reason Emmett had kissed Lauren? Somehow I could not wrap my mind around this idea.

How could it not be Emmett's fault?

What would that change if it _wasn't_?

I didn't even have to really ask the question to know that it would change everything.

"Tell me," I demanded. "Tell me _everything_."

Edward sighed and I wanted to shake him hard and make him talk faster, because I had never wanted to hear anything more than I wanted to hear this.

"I was young and foolish and I guess a bit jealous. . ." he said, and I knew I was gaping.

"_You _had a crush on _me_?"

He nodded, and stared at the mat in front of the doorway. "Yes. Well, and no. I wasn't necessarily just jealous that Emmett had you, but I missed having my older brother around. I didn't think that it would matter so much if you broke up. I didn't even think of the consequences. I bet him he couldn't do it, and of course, I knew how to push his buttons so he'd do it even if he didn't want to. And, Rose, he didn't. Not at all."

I let out the breath I'd been holding. "You," I whispered, feeling my knees get weak with the possibilities of this revelation. "You told me that Emmett wanted to see me."

"He didn't. He wanted you as far away from that room as possible. _He _wanted to be as far away from that room as possible."

My knees finally gave out and I slumped down in the doorway, the reality of the situation hitting me hard. "Why didn't he just _tell me_?" I asked, almost to myself more than Edward.

"Honestly, I don't know. I think maybe he blamed himself for taking the bet. And I wouldn't be surprised if he still does."

"He tried to tell me," I said, feeling the tears rising in my throat. "He tried to tell me."

"You should have let him," Edward said kindly. "But really it was me—Emmett never would have kissed her if I hadn't done everything in my power to make him do it."

"I know. I mean I guess I've always known." The tears were coming hard and fast know, and I had to gulp in the cool evening air to get the words out.

"Rosalie," Edward said, crouching down towards me, "I've honestly never been sorrier about anything in my life. It felt wrong then, and it's felt worse and worse every year. I even had to watch him make the worst mistake of his life when he married Tanya."

My head snapped up at her name. "Tell me about her," I demanded.

He shook his head reluctantly. "No," he said and there was definitely finality in his voice. He might feel guilty but I couldn't push him to tell me about this, no matter how I cranked his conscience.

"You need to ask him," he continued. "I'm not going to tell you. I had no part of that."

"Okay," I said in a small voice, too full of questions and conflicting answers to argue the point.

"You should talk to him. Really. Because he's not going to come to you. He thinks you deserve better."

I shot to my feet. "That is a bunch of crap. Total shit."

Edward smiled. "Go tell him that."

Ten minutes later, as I drove up to Cullens' townhouse, I tried to tell myself that this was a mistake. That I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be trying to talk it out with Emmett.

He'd been _married _and hadn't told me about it. He'd left me on the side of the road.

Of course, I argued with myself, I'd asked to be let out. He'd simply been obeying my request.

I gritted my teeth together and turned the car off and got out.

A raindrop hit my nose and I grimaced. _Great_. _Rain_. _A perfect end to a perfect day._

I went up the steps and banged on the door with determination. He _would _answer my questions. The least I deserved from him was some sort of explanation.

The door opened and Jasper was standing there, looking at me with little to no surprise. Clearly Edward had told Jasper that he was divulge the truth.

"Is Emmett here?" I asked hopefully, childishly crossing my fingers behind my back.

"No," Jasper said, and I could feel my face and heart falling.

"But," he added quickly, "he just went for a run. He should be back soon. Do you want to wait inside for him?"

Did I want to wait inside and make small talk with Jasper? Definitely not.

"Thanks, but I'll just wait out here."

"Um," Jasper hesitated. "It's beginning to rain."

"I know. It's fine." I settled down on the steps to wait, and Jasper closed the door with one last incredulous look in my direction.

Ten minutes later, I was soaking wet, the rain dripping into my eyes as I scanned the dark streets in front of me for Emmett's returning form.

I'd just about given up hope when I finally saw him, momentarily passing under a far-off street light.

I got up and half-walked, half-jogged to meet him.

I knew the second he saw me because he stopped dead in his tracks, his expression totally unreadable, the rain dripping down his face.

"Why?" I yelled. "Why didn't you tell me?"

The only sound between us was the patter of the raindrops hitting the pavement.

"You saw Edward," he finally said, and his voice was totally empty.

"Why?" I demanded again walking closer and pushing him hard, the anger boiling up inside of me until I didn't think I could hold it back any longer.

He just shrugged.

"Why?" I screamed, the sobs coming hard and fast and the salt of my tears mixing with the water dripping down my face.

"I didn't deserve you," he finally said. "You deserved someone who wouldn't betray you."

"You didn't," I screamed, my voice harsh in the silence of the neighborhood. "You made a silly, stupid mistake, and I've spent every moment since wishing that things between us had ended differently. Didn't you think that I should get a say, too?"

"You should have," he whispered. "But I'm not the good guy, Rosie. It's not me."

I grabbed his hands and stared into those dark blue eyes that had haunted me for the last seven years. "That's not true. I love you. I've always loved you. You're the only man I want. Good guy or no," I insisted. "I should have let you tell me before. We wastedall these weeks _fucking_ when we should have been _talking_."

Emmett pulled away and turned to go. "No," he said hoarsely. "You were right to tell me you didn't want to know. I knew you deserved better."

He'd tried this once before—now I knew why he'd left me on the side of the road. I'd asked and he hadn't really believed that I wanted him. That's why he had driven away and not looked back. I had to make him believe now that I wanted him and only him. That I wouldn't run.

"Tell me, why did you marry Tanya?" My voice was now dead calm, the anger washed away with the rain. I couldn't let him get away. I had to get him to admit he loved me. That he was worthy of my love.

He turned. "What else was I supposed to do? I couldn't have you. I should have told you, I guess, but god, Rose, it was so meaningless. She never meant anything to me. She was just a poor copy of you and six months into the marriage it was over because I'd realized I could never love anyone but you." He sounded despondent and hopeless.

I realized we'd been in the same place the whole time; we just had been too pigheaded and stubborn to realize it.

I walked up to him and pulled his head down until our noses were nearly touching. "Emmett," I whispered, "I love you. I only want you. I don't care if you married Tanya or a million girls. And Lauren? I just want to forget about her. She's ruined our lives for long enough."

"Are you sure?" he asked and his voice was still hesitant.

I nodded. "You're it for me. So you can either admit that you're the right man for me or I'm going to be alone forever. It's up to you."

Emmett paused for the longest second of my life. And then he kissed me.

"Smart boy," I murmured, and then I kissed him back.


	31. Chapter 31

**AN: I was not kidding about the writing demon thing. . .cause we've got another chapter! Thanks to my emergency holiday beta, JDSK. Songs are up on my profile. HOLY SHIIIIITE. ONLY ONE CHAPTER TO GO AFTER THIS!**

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JPOV

The morning after the reunion between Rose and Emmett I couldn't put off the inevitable anymore.

I stared at the coffeemaker on the counter, ignoring the mantra that a watched pot never boils, and waited for the coffee to finish brewing so I could work up enough nerve to ask Rosalie where Alice was.

It was my last, desperate Hail Mary, and if she wouldn't tell me, who knew if I would even see Alice again and though I'd spent so many years trying to convince myself that she wasn't for me, the last two weeks had taught me that regardless of this fact, I couldn't live without her.

I had to go find her. But really, I had no idea where to even look. I knew she had money, and that she could probably work indefinitely from a remote location. If she choose, she could stay away for months. I hated the thought that I'd driven her away and I'd hated the look on her face when she'd told me she loved me.

I still wasn't sure if she'd even meant it—it had seemed so much more like _her _last Hail Mary and some sort of proving ground than a genuine confession—that I'd stayed up late every night, unable to sleep, analyzing and overanalyzing every nuance of that last conversation.

And every time, I came short.

It didn't matter if her confession of love was manufactured and an attempt to get to my true feelings. _I _was the one to blame. I should have known my own heart. Instead, I'd been too busy being afraid and doing everything in my power to prove that I hadn't fallen under her spell a long, long time ago.

I heard Emmett and Rosalie walk into the kitchen, their voices low with shared confidences and impenetrable and permanent love. Jealousy rose in my throat until I could barely choke out the question.

"Rose, where's Alice?"

I couldn't see her, but I could almost sense her stop dead in her tracks halfway into the kitchen. Emmett stopped beside her, and I knew that he wouldn't take one step until she took one. They were a perfectly in-sync couple, and as always, I felt like the odd one out. In fact, I realized with a newfound wonder, the only time I'd ever felt really, truly, at home after a childhood of being yanked from foster home to foster home, had been when I was with Alice.

"Why do you want to know?" Rose's voice was calm but deadly. Edward had confided to me wonderingly after he'd returned from seeing her last night that she had been angry, but not viciously so.

This was a Rosalie, I thought as I turned around, that Edward hadn't seen. She was out for blood, because I had dared to hurt someone she loved.

I looked straight into her angry, wary eyes and told the truth—the truth I'd spent years trying to hide from everyone, even myself.

"I love her. I want to go find her and bring her home. To be with me."

The words in themselves were simple enough. I could only hope that Rose would believe me.

Emmett's expression was blank, and I knew he would refuse to get involved. The location of Alice was for Rosalie and Rosalie alone to divulge.

She pondered a minute, and finally replied. "I don't know, Jasper. Are you going to go to all these lengths to get her back only to decide you don't want her after all?"

I shook my head. "Absolutely not."

Unfortunately, she didn't look convinced. My heart dropped into my stomach and then plummeted to the floor when she said, "I'm sorry, Jasper. It just doesn't feel like my place to get involved."

I felt like I'd just had the wind knocked out of me. Pain was bubbling up inside of me, and I couldn't get my breath.

The idea that I might be groveling never even crossed my mind. It was as if with the realization that I loved Alice, I had also decided subconsciously that I would do _anything _to get her back—anything to make sure she was mine, forever.

"Please," I begged. "Please tell me. I know that I'm not good enough—how could I ever be good enough for Alice? But at least give me the opportunity to try."

I saw Emmett's eyes widen at my words, and I knew that he'd never seen anything remotely like this in all his years of being my brother. But masculine pride was totally unimportant in the face of the monumental task of getting the woman I loved back.

The corner of her mouth turned up in a smile. I hoped to God that she wasn't feeling sorry for me. I could take pretty much any abuse except for that.

"You're really serious about this, aren't you?" she asked, a thread of surprise running through her voice.

"Of course," I replied shortly, almost annoyed that my intentions weren't being taken seriously.

She sighed. "It's hard to tell with you sometimes, Jasper. You seemed to like Alice in high school, but then dropped her when Emmett and I stopped talking. You pursued her and won her this time around, but it was different. She wasn't always as happy as she should have been. It was almost as if she _expected _you to let her down."

I hated that Rosalie was right. I'd been inexcusably wimpy and pitiful when it came to Alice—unable to stay away but at the same time, unable to truly commit to my feelings for her.

"You're right," I told her, humbled. "About everything. I haven't behaved like I should have where Alice is concerned, but I've got to make it up to her. I need to prove to her that I love her, that I want to turn over a new leaf." I tried to put the passion of my convictions into my voice, but to my abject despair, she just shook her head slightly again.

"Sorry," she said, and this time she was definitely feeling sorry for me. "I just . . .I can't open up my sister to the kind of pain you caused her twice before."

This was exactly what I'd been afraid of. I wasn't even going to be given a chance to let Alice reject me. No. I'd been rejected before I could even make it to that point. My head dropped down and I stared at the pattern of the tile on the floor. Uncomfortable silence enveloped the kitchen.

I counted every red tile, then every blue tile and was in the middle of multiplying the ratio when Rose spoke again.

"Does it matter that much to you?"

I looked up. "It means everything," I told her.

"Alice is going to kill me for this. . .but . . .," Rosalie paused. "She's at the beach house."

"The beach house?" I gaped. "I thought that was a rental?"

"It's not. She owns it." Rosalie walked up to me and looked me straight on, her blue eyes boring into mine. "I swear, if you hurt _one molecule _of her, I will dismantle you personally."

"Yes, I know. And I won't. I promise."

"Good," Rosalie snapped, obviously still trying to scare me. "Make sure you don't. Are you going to go today?"

"Of course," I said, never having considered any other possibility. The moment I could go to Alice, naturally, I would. The only thing that had been stopping me had been that pesky lack of knowledge as to her current whereabouts.

"Even better. Tell her to come home. I miss her." Rosalie smiled big, and I felt like I'd just been given a boon of priceless value. She trusted me enough to want me to bring her sister home. I beamed in response.

"Will do." I turned back toward the coffeemaker. If it had been moving slowly before, now it was moving at an excruciating pace. I needed coffee before I could set off for Cannon Beach, and I hated anything that could possibly delay me.

Finally, travel mug in hand, I was about to head out of the kitchen, when Rosalie's voice stopped me. "Jasper, you should expect to be there a few days. Bring a change of clothes."

"Seriously?" I questioned, turning back towards her. "Don't you think she'll be happy to see me?"

Rosalie laughed. "Oh, she will alright. But she won't let you know it. She'll leave you hanging until you're just about ready to leave all over again. But wait her out. She loves you. She just wants some sort of concrete proof and to get it, she'll try to outmaneuver you."

"Thanks. . .I think," I said, wondering if this was no longer going to be as neat and easy as I'd been anticipating.

"You'll be fine," Rosalie told me with all the comfort of someone who already had the love of their life in their pocket.

But her words had unnerved me and I was no longer sure of my own success.

The drive to Cannon Beach flew by, and I arrived in the driveway of Alice's bungalow before I was really ready. Truthfully, I was scared shitless. Both of the possibility of Rose's prediction being true and also of Alice's rejection.

She had seemed, the more I thought about it, a little more than eager to jump on the least excuse to tell me to leave. I dreaded that I'd imagined her feelings for me.

Hesitantly, I got out of the car, got my bag out of the backseat, and walked up to the porch. There was a blue sky overhead and a nice salty breeze wafted through the air. The location couldn't have been more perfect. I couldn't believe that I hadn't picked up that the house belonged to Alice sooner. She had taken a rather proprietary air about it while we were here, but I'd never asked and she'd obviously never volunteered the information that she, in fact, _did _own it.

I had to admit I was more than a little disgruntled at this deliberate omission of hers. It was almost as if she had been protecting herself from me—and, well, I supposed I couldn't blame her. I hadn't been the most supportive or straightforward of partners.

Knocking on the door, I noted that her car was pulled all the way around the back, like she was trying to hide from the neighborhood that she was here.

Five minutes later, after spending a good portion of that time banging on the door like an insane person, I was beginning to think that maybe Rosalie hadn't been wrong. Maybe Alice was going to make me work for this.

"What are you doing here?"

I whipped around and she was standing at the foot of the porch steps, looking at me like I'd just showed up at her doorstep straight from the hell with a million demons at my back.

A feeling of dread was beginning to build inside. This wasn't the happy reunion I'd been envisioning. Instead, she looked ready to murder me.

"Uh. . .I'm here to see you?"

_Great answer, Jasper. Fantastic. Really enlightening._

She raised one eyebrow, clearly thinking along the same lines.

I decided to try another, more confident, tactic. "I'm here to bring you home."

Unfortunately, she just laughed at that, skirting around me to unlock the door and then instead of inviting me in, she proceeded to slam it in my face.

"Great," I mumbled to myself, and renewed my banging on the door.

"Alice," I yelled, "_please let me in_."

Twenty minutes later, I was totally hoarse and desperately trying to retain any shred of dignity I had left.

Really, who was I kidding? There wasn't even a shred left.

Right when I was about to give up, get in my car, and try to come up with a Plan B, the door opened and Alice glared at me through the screen door.

"What do you want?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I want to talk to you. No," I corrected myself. "I _need _to talk to you."

"I can't possibly see why," Alice said, but I could sense the pain underneath her flippant words. Even through the screen, I could see there were dark circles under her eyes. She was clearly not sleeping.

"Please," I begged.

She hesitated for a second, and I knew she was fighting an internal battle with herself over whether she should let me in the house.

"Alice," I said, placing my hands on either side of the doorway and leaning as close to the screen as possible, until my nose was almost touching it, "I love you. Please let me in so we can talk."

APOV

_He loved me?_

I stared at his face through the screen door for a half-second, then slammed the door shut again and locked it loud enough so he could hear.

I certainly hadn't been expecting to see him battering on my door when I'd returned from a walk on the beach, and for a split second, every part of me wanted to run up to him and rejoice that he'd managed to find me.

But then I remembered that I didn't want him to find me. I needed time and space to get over him, and him being here didn't exactly facilitate that.

After listening to him yell and bang on the door for at least twenty minutes, I'd finally given in and gone to see what he wanted.

I'd been so close to letting him inside, but then he'd confessed his love, and everything in me had turned to hard, painful ice.

I knew Jasper had his pride and he wanted to be the one to do the dumping, but really, did it mean he had to come all the way out here only to try to bait me with false outpourings of love?

So I slammed the door in his face again, not letting myself see the look in his eyes in the last second before they disappeared from view.

I _had _to be strong here. I had to preserve my own sanity. If I let him in, I knew he'd win me over, and I couldn't let that happen.

Figuring he would only last, at most, an hour on the porch before he turned around and went home, I put my headphones on to drown out his knocking and yelling, and got out a sketchpad to work on a few new design ideas.

No matter how dire my personal situation, I could always manage to lose myself in my work, and this time was no exception. It was a good three hours later before I took the earbuds out, stretched and realized that the whole house was quiet.

I felt a sharp stab of disappointment but I told myself that really it was for the best that he'd finally left. I got up and cautiously walked towards the front of the house, worried that maybe he was really still here but just trying to lull me into submission with his silence.

Jasper was laying on the couch, sleeping.

I stopped in my tracks. He was clearly not sleeping hard because my sharp intake of breath woke him up.

"Alice," he mumbled, and I snapped, interrupting him. "What? You broke up into my house? I'm calling the police."

He sat straight up at my words and when I made a move toward the phone, he got up and followed me, trying to explain. "I climbed in through an unlocked window," he said, looking sheepishly guiltily.

"That's still breaking and entering," I argued, lifting the phone off the dock and beginning to dial.

He grabbed it away from me. "No," Jasper said, and his voice was stern though his eyes were warm. "You're not calling anyone. We're going to sit down like two normal, civilized people, and talk this out."

"I don't want to talk to you," I insisted, but I knew the conviction in my words was fading. I had never expected him to be this persistent and it was playing havoc with my preconceived notions.

"I don't care. We're going to talk anyway." He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the couch. I shivered when our skin touched and I tried to remember all the reasons why I didn't trust him. Truthfully, with every moment he insisted we talk, it was getting harder and harder to remember that he was the bad guy.

He led me to the chair opposite the couch and I sat down uneasily.

"What do you want to tell me?" I asked, beginning to feel like I was out of my element here. Everything Jasper had done so far had been totally unexpected. I hadn't the faintest idea what he wanted to tell me, other than some lies about being in love with me.

"I want to tell you about my childhood."

"Okay," I replied cautiously. "I don't see how it has anything to do with us, but if you want to talk about it, I'll listen." I'd always known, of course, that Jasper had been adopted by the Cullens, but he'd never wanted to talk about it, and I knew nothing about his life before he'd come to live with them. I knew it couldn't be good, but I wasn't expecting what I heard.

"My mom was a drug addict. My dad was in jail. So I got taken away by the state at. . .2? 3? And in the eight years before I was adopted by Carlisle and Esme, I went to twenty foster homes."

Whatever I had been expecting, this was so much worse. Twenty foster homes? He'd never felt safe or comfortable _anywhere _until he'd gone to live with the Cullens. I couldn't even fathom what that kind of childhood must have been like. No wonder he acted strange sometimes.

I was still trying to process what Jasper was saying, when he continued. "Of course, I felt at home with the Cullens—but it never felt like _my _home. But Alice," he said, reaching out to hold my hands with his own, "you were different. I felt relaxed and comfortable with you. I never wanted to let you go. But I didn't trust it—I couldn't let myself trust it. Because of all those times that I'd trusted and been let down before. So I convinced myself that what you weren't what I really wanted. What I needed."

"And that's why you behaved like you did?" I said, refusing to let my heart melt like it wanted to at his words.

"Yes."

I got up and started pacing, not at all sure what I felt and despite his confession, even less sure of what _he _felt.

"I don't know, Jasper. Maybe we've gone too far to go back."

"I love you," he said, and his heart was in his eyes. He certainly thought it was true, but whether it actually was remained to be seen. I knew I shouldn't test him, but I knew I had to. I'd never be able to fully trust him otherwise.

"No," I told him firmly. "You only want someone you're sure of. You know I love you. You know I'd do anything for you. You know I'd never leave you. So you've latched onto me as something _safe_. And you know what? I don't want to be your safe choice. I want to be the _only _choice."

"You really think that?" he said slowly. "You think that I only want you because I'm sure of you?"

I nodded. "I deserve better."

"I'm not going to argue with that. I've always thought you deserved better, but I can't live without you, so I'm going to be selfish and claim you for myself."

"What if I don't want to be claimed?"

He smiled crookedly. "You love me; why wouldn't you want to be?"

He had a good point, but I wasn't going to acknowledge it. I was still torn as to the validity of his confession of love.

"I can think of a few good reasons. . ."I began but he interrupted me before I could get to them.

"I love you," he said, "and not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends."

_No_, I felt like screaming at him. _Don't ruin my very favorite quote in my very favorite movie ever. _I justified not saying anything by deciding that he'd never make it all the way through.

But he continued. "And not in a misplaced affection, puppy dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple. Very truly." He certainly sounded sincere, and I could feel myself melting into a puddle at his feet—and I was no longer even trying to stop it.

"You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore."

Jasper looked straight into my eyes, and they were brimming with honesty. If I didn't know any better I would have thought that these words were from his heart—not from _Chasing Amy_.

And in that moment I knew that I'd let him finish, but he'd proved his point to me, once and for all. He _loved _me. He loved me enough to remember something I'd said in passing, and to memorize the quote. He loved me enough to brave Rose's wrath to figure out where I was. He loved me enough to find a way into my house when he thought I didn't want him. He loved me.

I blinked away a tear of joy and smiled at him. He continued, beaming, and pulling me close into his arms.

"And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome—which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shootdown."

Jasper looked down at me, and I let my lips brush his. "Keep going," I murmured. "I'm enjoying this."

"Okay. But for you, and only for you," he said after kissing me. "And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know—I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment. And if there is a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. All I ask, please, is that you just, you just not dismiss that, and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds."

"Alice, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you. And I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau, because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me."

"Don't worry," I told him in between reassuring kisses. "I'm definitely going to talk to you after tonight."

"Really? I had no idea," he teased in a pseudo-hopeful voice. "Alice," he said, his tone growing more serious. "Really, I do love you."

"I love you too," I told him, settling into arms. I knew I'd never want to leave, and I had a pretty good feeling that he felt just the same. Finally.


	32. Chapter 32

**AN: Wow. Really. Wow. I cannot believe that we are finally at the end of TDIG. I want to thank EVERYONE who has ever read or reviewed--I would have written this anyway, but your support has been unbelievably amazing. Also, to my girls at the Twilighted Forum: Angel, Debussy-this, jdsk, Starshinedown, CallistoLexx, pwtf, mommyofboth, devadasi7. . .I am sure I have missed someone but really, thank you all for your support. I couldn't have done it without you.**

**Yes, this is the LAST chapter of TDIG, but there will be a series of epilogues that will take place anywhere from a few months to a few years after the story ends. They won't get posted for awhile. But they will get posted, I promise.**

**Also, my new story, tentatively called "Eve, the Apple of my Eye" won't get posted for awhile either. I am going to try to finish up Going for the Gold with Tamelaine first. My plate is too full to start another full story right now.**

**For the last time *tear* thanks to my betas, Tamelaine & CallistoLexx and PLEASE listen to the song on my profile that's in this chapter. It's by the Pogues and it's called "Love You 'Til the End."**

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BPOV

"Bella, you need to come with us. Get out of the house," Alice chastised, as I sat on my bed, staring into space, pointedly ignoring her. I'd been trying to perfect the art of not thinking at all over the last few weeks, and so far, I'd been finding it a difficult if not impossible undertaking.

I'd seen Edward's shoulders shrug a million times in my mind, and not once did it get easier to see. In fact, each time, I felt my heart crack a little more. Four weeks after the shrug, it now resembled a small crater.

When Alice had been gone, Rose and I had kept to ourselves, not talking, not doing anything but going to work and coming back home again, only to sit in our lonely rooms and spend the long, sleepless night trying to figure out how our lives had fallen apart so fast.

But then Edward had come to our house, to tell Rose about his role in the high school debacle, and to my amazement and shock, she'd gone to Emmett and somehow they had made up. That had been difficult for me, though I was trying to be thrilled that she was so happy.

Then Alice had come home, brimming with love and happiness, and I'd almost considered putting a lock on my door so that everyone would just leave me alone and I wouldn't have to hear about how fucking _happy _everyone was. Everyone but me.

I told myself that there was _nothing _that Edward could say that would make up for the shoulder shrug, but a tiny part inside me wanted him to try anyway. Either so that he could fail and feel maybe half as humiliated and heartsick as me or maybe so that I could have hope and faith and trust in him again, if he managed to succeed against all odds.

"Bella, please," Alice pleaded and I continued to ignore her.

"Just look at you," she continued, clearly not averse to conversing with herself. "You haven't showered, your hair's greasy and you're unbelievably pale and I haven't seen you out of sweatpants for _days_."

I couldn't let that go unanswered. "And how is that any different than you running away?" I asked her in a dull, numb voice.

Alice paused in her quest for clothes in my closet, and turned towards me. "Bella," she said hesitantly, "you have every right to be upset."

"Do I?" I snapped at her. "Then why are you in here, pestering me?"

She sighed. "I wanted to tell you—I wasn't right to run away."

"You were," I insisted. "You're just saying that because it worked out for the best in the end. You learned to trust Jasper because he was so persistent in chasing after you."

"You're wrong," Alice said, pulling a red silky tank out of my closet after much deliberation. I couldn't see why she was even bothering. Nobody was going to drag me off this bed—even Alice with her patented guilt-induced persuasion techniques.

"No. I'm not," I argued, wondering if she would call me on my obvious bitter vendetta against all men, all relationships and any feelings that weren't abject despair. That particular emotion I'd embraced fully. Of course, it wasn't as if I'd had any choice in the matter.

There was a knock on the door and Alice yelled out, "come in," before I could tell whoever it was to go to hell.

I glared at Alice, and then at Rosalie, who closed the door behind her.

"Is she coming?" Rose asked, clearly deciding that it was better to just deal with Alice and ignore me altogether.

"Yes," Alice said and I opened my mouth to argue, but she shot me a look that told me it was pointless. And I was beginning to think, maybe it was.

"She may not know it," Alice added pointedly, "but she's going. It's what's good for her."

"I certainly know what's good for me," I growled. "And I'm not going."

"Really, you are," Rose said, her tone of voice telling me that she wouldn't tolerate a single argument.

"Where are we even going?" I whined. "I don't want to see anyone."

Rosalie gave me a head to toe look. "If I looked like that, I wouldn't want to either."

I stuck my tongue out at her, but really, the tough love was better than treating me like I was an easily broken piece of porcelain.

"Fine," I grumbled, "I'll go get in the shower."

"Thank god," Alice breathed in relief. "Go go go. Before we have to smell you any longer."

Ten minutes later, when I opened the door back into my room, wrapped up in a towel, Alice looked at me expectantly.

"Fine," I sighed with exaggeration. "I _do _feel better."

"I thought so," she said, not even trying to hide her 'I told you so' tone. "You're coming with us."

"Are you going alone?" I didn't want to have to spell it out to Alice, but there was no way I was going to be a fifth wheel on some double date. I was pretty sure she and Rosalie wouldn't do that to me, but I definitely wasn't going to take the chance.

"It's just going to be us three," she said, "and it'll be real fun. The three of us haven't been together in ages."

I decided that I might as well take advantage of this opportunity to spend time with my two best friends and maybe snap out of my moping depression for a few hours. Maybe it wouldn't be horrible to get out, after all.

"Fine, I'll go."

"Of course you will." Alice smiled. "Clothes are on your bed. Blow dry your hair and we can go." She skipped out of the room with a self-satisfied smile on her face and I almost worked up enough humor to laugh. Almost.

An hour later, we were standing around the bar, holding cold beers—Alice looking at hers with distaste, since apparently this bar didn't serve wine or hard alcohol, just beer, and I had to ask the question that had been bothering me since we'd gotten here.

"A gaming arcade?" I asked Alice, not managing to conceal my impatience—_this _was the place we _had _to come to? This was what they'd dragged me out of my own self-pitying misery for?

"Trust me. This place is _great._ And oh look! They're going to be playing Rock Band tonight!"

I rolled my eyes. "That is the dumbest game ever, Alice. It lets people who can't play real instruments fake it on plastic ones."

"But it's fun!" Alice said, nearly jumping up and down in excitement.

"Why do I have a feeling that I'll be up there playing it by the end of the evening?" Rose asked in a bored voice, gesturing towards the stage.

I'd had my back turned and I'd deliberately not looked toward the stage. The idea of getting up there and drawing attention to myself, real instruments or not, seemed abhorrent considering the state I was in.

I turned towards the stage briefly and almost dropped my beer. Edward was on the stage, and I heard Rosalie barely manage to suppress a chuckle at my shock. She'd _known _he was there, and she'd pointed to the stage so that I would look and see him too. I felt panic and pain and a whole host of other, unnamed emotions rise in my chest, and I knew I had to get out of there before I fell apart.

"Alice!" I hissed. "You are such a liar. I am leaving _right now_."

She grabbed my arm and held me in place. "You're not going anywhere. I practically had to physically drag you out of the apartment. You are staying. And listening."

"Listening? I am _not_ listening to anything he has to say," I said angrily, not even bothering to wipe away the tears that were drifting down my cheeks. I felt betrayed—not only by Edward, but by my best friends.

"You should really listen to him, sweetheart," Rosalie added, and her voice was unnaturally kind. I almost hated her sympathy more than her impatience with my misery.

"Please," Alice begged. "I've talked to him, and before you flip out that I did—he totally cornered me and pleaded with me. And when I heard him out, I knew you had to hear what he had to say."

This was even worse than I'd imagined. I'd been kidnapped, totally unknowingly, and taken to a place where my ex-lover was going to try to talk to me. In public.

"I'm still leaving," I told her bitterly. "I don't even know what to say to you." I turned away from Alice and Rosalie and tried to look anywhere but at the stage where Edward was standing.

Of course, I failed in the first ten seconds. I had to see what he looked like and what he was doing and was he looking at me? Yeah, he definitely was.

He was standing on the small corner stage, clearly tuning a _real _guitar and I wondered if he knew how to play and just hadn't told me or he was pretending in an effort to look cool.

The latter, I decided, though I had to admit I wouldn't have been surprised if there were more secrets he'd kept from me.

He looked up and our eyes met, across the room, and I felt that same flash of fire and heat and emotion, but I forced myself to look away. He wasn't for me. It didn't matter how much I wanted him to be, I just couldn't commit to someone who could treat me so callously.

"Bella," Rose said quietly, and I noticed she and Alice were standing on either side of me. "I want you to promise me that you'll at least _try _to listen with an open mind."

"And an open heart," Alice added, ever the romantic.

"Fine," I grumbled. "I really don't want to, but I have a feeling if I try to leave, both of you will physically drag me back in here, so I suppose I might as well stay." I looked at the floor and hoped it would be over soon and that Edward wouldn't do anything stupid like try to sing to me.

Of course, the moment the thought passed through my undeniably jaded mind, the PA system crackled and scratched and Edward walked up to the microphone. I tried to look away, but I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

"This song," Edward said, casually draping his hands over his guitar like he did it all the time, "is for Bella." He looked straight at me, and panic rose hard and fast in my throat. I couldn't stand here and listen to what he thought of me—the idea was stomach-twisting and nauseating. And really, no matter what he said, how could I believe him anyway?

It seemed that Edward played the guitar very well, and even through my outrage at yet _another _thing he'd neglected to mention about himself, I recognized the opening chords right away.

Of course. He would have remembered what I'd said about Irish punk and the Pogues, and even though this was probably one of my favorite songs ever, all I wanted to do was go into a corner and cry my eyes out. But I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

_I just want to see you when you're all alone; I just want to catch you if I can. _

_I just want be there when the morning light explodes: on your face it radiates. _

_I can't escape, I love you 'til the end._

His voice was just as husky and beautiful as I remembered, except that I wasn't prepared for what I'd feel when he sang, even in the song, that he loved me. The lump in my throat grew, and desperately, I tried to hold the threatening tears back. It was too hard to stand here and listen to something I knew was patently untrue.

_I just want to tell you nothing you don't want to hear. _

_All I want is for you to say: why don't you just take me where I've never been before. _

_I know you want to hear me catch my breath. I love you 'til the end._

His voice cracked on the last word, and I could see nerves and utter panic warring on his face. I couldn't help but think that the song _seemed _genuine, and that he certainly seemed desperate enough for me—desperate enough to get on stage in front of at least a hundred people and sing of his love for me.

I _wanted _to believe. I wanted to believe in this seemingly genuine, heartfelt expression of emotion, but I didn't know how. Maybe things were too far gone between us.

His voice grew harder, as if he could maybe convince me through sheer will.

_I just want to be there when we're caught in the rain._

_I just want to see you laugh, not cry._

_I just want to feel you when the night puts on its cloak._

_I've lost the words; don't tell me. Cause all I can say is I love 'til the end._

The last chord echoed through the empty bar, and the crowd erupted into applause, but I couldn't hear it. I'd already heard too much.

In the swell of people moving towards the stage, no doubt to praise both Edward's musicianship but also his brass balls in singing a love letter to the girl he'd already destroyed, I managed to extract myself from Alice and Rosalie and make it to the door.

I put my hand on the handle, and I was just about to pull it open when another hand closed over mine.

I looked up into a pair of deep green eyes.

"You're going?" he asked, and there was bitter disillusionment in it. Like he'd just lost something of incalculable price.

"Why now?" I demanded, ignoring his question, and asking the ones I desperately needed to know instead. "Why didn't you tell me you loved me before? And why did you wait four weeks to tell me?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his already messy hair. "I haven't always been the good guy, Bella. I've done some things I'm not proud of, and I felt that to even begin to deserve a molecule of you, I had to do what I could to fix them."

"Alice and Rosalie," I stated rather than asked. His hand was still gripped over mine on the door handle, and I knew we were frozen in time and space until either he convinced me he was for real or I managed to convince him that it was useless to keep trying.

I really hoped that the stubborn streak I'd seen in him wasn't one of his many lies.

"Yes," he said, then just stood there, waiting for me to say something, but I didn't know what to say. Should I thank him for doing what he could to fix what was wrong with Alice and Jasper and Emmett and Rosalie? Should I thank him for putting together such a brilliant, amazing gesture of love? Or should I just leave?

"Edward," I stammered finally. "You said you didn't love me."

"No, actually, I didn't say anything at all, and you, well, you interpreted it as a no. But really, that isn't your fault. I just couldn't say it. There's probably some deep psychological reason why, but when you asked, I just froze. I knew what I _wanted _to say, but I couldn't get it out."

His explanation, I had to admit, made a lot of sense and went a long way to repairing that big deep crater in my heart. At least, I could stop replaying that shrug in my mind a million times a day.

"Bella," Edward continued, carefully removing my hand from the door and covering it with his. "I love you. I know I couldn't say it before, and maybe that means you hate me for all time. But I want you so I had to ask today. If you say no today—that's okay, but you have to know: I want you enough to ask a million times."

The tears were openly trickling down my cheeks now, and he reached one hand up to brush a teardrop away. "Please," he said simply.

And in that moment, I knew what Edward had been talking about. Every fiber and every muscle and bone in my body was screaming out that I loved him too, and that I didn't want him to get away—that I wanted to be with him forever. But I couldn't get the words past my numb and still angry lips.

Edward looked deep in my eyes and must have seen the panic of me unable to say what I wanted to, and misinterpreted it as rejection. His face fell and he dropped my hand like it was burning him. He began to turn away, and the panic swelled inside me.

"No," I exclaimed, a lot louder than I'd meant to. "Edward. Wait."

He turned back and I could see that a speck of hope had returned.

"I love you too," I managed to gasp out, but before I even had the sentence halfway out, I was in his arms and he was kissing me so hard that I couldn't say a single thing, and really, I didn't want to.

We'd already said everything that needed to be said.


	33. Epilogue Announcement!

**TURNING DUST INTO GOLD EPILOGUE ANNOUNCEMENT**

I want to tell everyone THANK YOU for being patient on the epilogue. It's finally here and it's even better than I promised. It's basically like a whole separate, in the future story, so I'm publishing it as a separate story here on fanfiction and also on twilighted.

It's called **GOLDEN: THE TURNING DUST INTO GOLD EPILOGUE. ** Just click on my author name, and find the story in my list of stories. HOPE Y'ALL ENJOY!!!!!**  
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**Bethaboo  
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	34. iFic Announcement!

**I am incredibly excited to announce that **_**Turning Dust into Gold **_**has been selected as Twilighted's iFic next production—it's fourth overall.**

For those of you who are not familiar with iFic, they are a group that works out of Twilighted, turning complete Twilight fanfictions into audio recordings to listen to on your computer or iPod. These are incredibly professional productions with amazing voice talent and seamless editing.

To listen to _TDIG, _search iFic on iTunes and subscribe to their podcast, or you can also download the mp3 from a third party site. I'll have a link on my fanfiction profile to the threads on Twilighted, where there are complete instructions on how to download and listen.

There will be approximately 7 parts to _TDIG _and they will be released once a week, on Friday evenings.

**Preview posted on: 7/25/09 (please see my profile for the link)**  
**Part 1 (chapters 1-7) will be posted on: 7/31/09**

The female parts are being read by the incomparable Hopeful Wager. The male parts are being read by The Other. I have been involved with this project from the beginning, and I am so thrilled at how it's turned out. I couldn't be happier and I hope that y'all can enjoy it as much as I am!


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